Famous folks

What Happened to Lisa Turtle???

I was minding my own business yesterday when I saw BuzzFeed’s post about Lark Voorhies, aka Lisa Turtle from “Saved by the Bell.” I wasn’t ready for what was waiting for me.

Lark Voorhies Lisa Turtle

O___O I don’t understand. No really. Someone explain to me what happened to this once beautiful lady with smooth chocolate skin and a really pretty smile. How did she get here looking like Sammy Sosa diet? I mean GAHTDAMB!!! She looks like White Bob from Marketing from “Martin.” Remember him? The dude who was going “I’m outta control. Gina’s outta control. THIS WHOLE DAMB PARTY’S OUTTA CONTROL!” Yeah that guy.

I’m concerned for Lark. And I have many questions and not enough answers. Is this all a botched makeup job? Does her makeup artist hate her? Why does she look like she has on mortuary makeup? They got Lisa Turtle looking like she died 3 weeks ago. She was SO pretty way back in the day. Now she looks post-mortem. *cues violin* #LettucePray because whatever affliction is upon her to make her look like Aunt Bernice in her coffin needs ALL the prayer!

And they say Black don’t crack. Lark’s black don shattered into a million pieces and got bleached. Lawd help her. Lemme stop. Before the ghost that is Lisa Turtle haunts my hopes and dreams. *throws holy water* THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

If it’s a disease that made Lark look like that, I beg for pre-forgiveness. I know not what I do. If it’s just BAD LIVING? Then… O____O

It’s not hard to age well. Don’t do meth, don’t bleach your skin, drink water and use sunscreen. THAT IS ALL. Lark must shower in Fanta. She looks like the “this is your face when life turns on you” billboard. I don’t understand.

*dead*

*looks at Lisa Turtle’s pic again* *fights the air* *shakes Lark’s shoulders* WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU!!! *cries like Tyra*

People really need to start looking at Lil Kim and learning from her, not taking on her face’s cousin. I’m just so affected by Lark’s new look. It made me lose all types of focus yesterday when I first saw it. Where are her friends?

Everyone: “Lark, who hurt you???” Lark: “Time.” Welp.

But let me leave Lark Voorhies alone. Like powder 2 shades lighter than her did not. (-__-) I just wanna write Fashion Fair a letter so they can send a supervisor to her house. Meanwhile, AC Slater and Zach Morris are still as FAHN as Aretha’s spaghetti straps. Yes, lawd!

Ok I’ma go. Y’all tryna have St. Peter scratch my name off his VIP guest list. JESUS DON PROMISED ME A HOME!!! Good bye!

Edit & Update:

Below is a picture taken last week. I found it on Necole Bitchie’s site. Lark Voorhies looks nice here. So yes, it seems it was the makeup that had her looking ghoulish. All the “SHE HAS LUPUS! THIS ISN’T FUNNY” people can have a firm seat now. Thank you.

Lark-Voorhies-on-set-of-Jessicas-Journey

37 Comments

  1. Sadiqua
    May 11, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Lil Kim and Vivica wanted to round out their threesome. Mission: accomplished.

    • will
      May 14, 2012 at 1:10 pm

      Word is she has lupus. Folks need to back up and show some love

      • May 19, 2012 at 6:34 pm

        Thank You for saying that. She actually Does have Lupus, which is a horrible disease that can affect your skin. The writter of this article should have taken the time to ask her or research this, before trying to humiliate her! This woman is a HUMAN BEING….not a machine with no feelings. People need to stop being so Evil and making nasty comments about her. Some things “Grown-Ups” need to learn to shut up about and keep to themselves. We’ve all had a bad day where we didn’t look our best. At least she hasn’t gained an extra 60 pounds over the years like most t.v. stars from back in the day. Also, Lark Vorhiees was never a darkskinned black person. Her skin was always a medium to light brown and she is mixed. Sometimes brown skin can look lighter or darker depending on the lighting a person is in. Either way….people need to leave her alone. She doesn’t deserve to be humiliated like this. She seems like a great person. That’s what really matters.

        • jace
          June 13, 2012 at 7:07 pm

          i agree with you! well said! people in the limelight have it so hard!

        • June 28, 2012 at 11:31 am

          I second that! Well said Candice.

        • shelia
          January 16, 2013 at 7:35 pm

          My baby sister died because of lupus. That is what her face looked like at its worst ….pray for her don’t make fun of her!

    • zrz
      May 20, 2012 at 12:11 am

      she has lupus… the author is a tnuc and i hope you get plaque psoriasis on your face as a cosmic comeback for being such an ridiculous troll.

  2. May 11, 2012 at 7:43 am

    I laughed all loud and inappropriate at this post. I saw everyone chatting it up about Lark, but this post gave me context. I knew if anyone would have the content you would. Thanks!

  3. May 11, 2012 at 7:43 am

    I never heard of her.never saw the show. So when I saw your link on twirra I thought you had a tortoise named Lisa, and you were telling us about how adorabo and ish she is. *I ain’t even playing*

  4. Omolara
    May 11, 2012 at 7:44 am

    Lark looks like one of my MANY aunties that dabbled too heavy in the bleaching cream – I wonder if she shows her hands, will we see her real colors in her knuckles?
    Sidenote – from one Yourba girl to another, you ROCK!

  5. yonna
    May 11, 2012 at 8:02 am

    I don’t care what NUNNAYALL say…her and Latrice Royale is best friends, and she wanted to let Madame Chunky, Yet Funky beat her face…and we all know Miss Latrice is QUITE heavy handed…I mean look at her shoulders. That is a Latrice Royale job if I’ve EVER seen one!

    • yadi
      May 11, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      ikr, i swear i was perplexed by Latrice’s makeup the whole season…(and no one even tried to clock her for it lol)

  6. May 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I can’t even make fun. I think it’s just her makeup. Under her eyes and on her cheeks, it doesn’t look blended or it’s caked on. It looks too rough on her, that’s all.

    She might wanna fire her makeup artist or slap the fool who did that to her…

  7. Sunny
    May 11, 2012 at 8:24 am

    She has lupus, an auto-immune disease that causes skin discoloration and the “butterfly” effect across her face.

    • Taff
      May 11, 2012 at 8:53 am

      I can understand that. My grandmother had lupus.
      :( If that really is the case..the natural look will always be better than the make-up, esp when people know whats going on.

  8. chanro331
    May 11, 2012 at 8:48 am

    go check this out,Lark had plastic surgery….
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzUBzdlz3BY

  9. Ms. E
    May 11, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I read somewhere that she had plastic surgery. It obviously did not go well.

  10. T
    May 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

    WOAH … Luvvie you done clocked a whole lot in this one, and rightly so, boo! Someone needs to tells Lark to STOP using dust as a highlight over dem dere cheekbones. And why in the hell does she sound like she talking out of a damn hole like in one of them cigarette commercials?! I UZE TO LOVE TO ACT, NOW I AM BIZ-EE. Girl I know you have some serious lip eccercies under ya damn belt!

    And just a note, this is not the first time I’ve seen the Jewish princess thing come up. I know several black and latina jews personal, lets get to the true T please and recognize these dam folks wanted a WHITE jew-cess -_-

  11. LiMT__
    May 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Oh Lord. Jesus took the wheel and drove into her face. Clearly she wasn’t Saved by the Bell ‘cos the way I’m getting Michael Jackson flashbacks right now…

    And Luvvie, imma need to delete my internet history before I read your site from now on. Lord knows I don’t wanna die of laughter and leave this thing logged on…

  12. Kate
    May 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

    But…I don’t understand, she looked so good three years ago!! See: http://www.people.com/people/tablet/gallery/0,,20295687_20653494,00.html#photos

    What the hell happened Lisa? To quote Jesse: “I’m so, I’m so…SCARED” *sobs*

  13. ICEBTS
    May 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

    She has Lupus.

  14. Yasmeen
    May 11, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    I have Lupus, that isn’t Lupus.

    • jay
      May 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

      Lupus varies from different person, what you may show or feel with your form of lupus. Another, persons body will take the diease a different way.. You need to talk to your doc about different forms..smh

  15. PracticalL
    May 11, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    When I was a young girl, I wanted to be Lisa Turtle. I never expected her to grow into such misfortunes. She was so articulate, conservative, fashionable, and sassy. Just looking at her picture, she seems unhappy. I believe her appearance is the result of past drug abuse, depression, terrible, unecessary plastic surgery, bleached skin, and bad makeup. Lisa Turtle is a perfect example of Black stars that become lossed into the belligerent Anglican Hollywood. (White Society)

    Black usually does not crack but, whenever you try to alter its beauty it sure does.
    Black is beautiful why even mess with it.

    Unfortunately it has happened to Vivica A. Fox and Lil Kim. They were gorgeous before they decided to permaneantly modify their appearance. Black sisters who are thinking of changing, remember everyone is envious because they want to be you.

    When they are angry or just disrespectful, it is because they cannot handle you.

    By the way, what happened to Jasmine Guy? The last time I saw her I was stunned by her appearance; she is not aging that well.

  16. That's NOT Lupus!!!!
    May 11, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    Nope no hell naw!!!! I have lupus. What Lark has, ain’t it. Lupus causes a butterfly rash and/or cold sores and vitiligo but it doesn’t cause that! Lupus also cause weight ‘loss’. Lupus doesnt deform the face or make you unrecognizable. She may have thyroid disease. My sister was all puffy in the face and limbs before she started taking Synthroid (when she was diagnosed with thyroid autoimmune disease). That being said, the makeup is bad. She should’ve gone all naturale.

    • Kala
      January 17, 2013 at 6:42 am

      My aunt (deceased) and cousin have Lupus and it does cause changes in the face. I don’t know you or what all you’ve been through but both my relatives had kidney failure and had to go through pretty agressive dialysis. My cousin was diagnosed about a year and a half ago and she talks all the time about how she hates taking pictures now because she doesn’t look the same. I can see it and I can see similar changes in her face as compared to Lark Vorhees. I also remember how much my aunt’s features changed over a few years time. Old pictures about 5 years difference in time showed an unrecognizable person. Please don’t just hop on here and say it doesn’t happen because it didn’t happen to you. Be thankful but Lupus is one of those diseases that still needs a lot of research and everyone’s case is different.

  17. Annoyed
    May 12, 2012 at 1:59 am

    Wow! How narrow minded and stupid! Read before you insult someone. She has lupus and her medication causes disfigurement, bloating and a whole list of other side effects. So not necessary for all the insults I hope you are all nothing short of super model material to be talking like that (which I’m guessing you’re all fugly bitches) Don’t mean to be mean but there was no reason for ya’ll to be so nasty. Why don’t you blog about shit you know or just stfu!!!

  18. Marie
    May 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

    I think she has lupus. I work with lupus patients and they all are affected differently. I think her makeup is just an attempt to cover. If so she could be a wonderful spokes person for the disease. I don’t understand why celebrities hid these things. Toni Braxton hid it 4 yrs and Halle berry claims she cured herself of type1 diabetes

  19. BeautyIAM
    May 14, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Your post always make me laugh. I know Jesus is giving me the side eye when laughing at things I should be laughing at. Hahaha.

    I am unwilling to believe she had anything done. Maybe she is ill?? IDK.

  20. 4xtra
    May 19, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    for all of you that are making “fun” of her…
    well LETS SEE YOUR PICTURE>>??

    She has Lupus and makes you pale and all kinds of other unusual activity.

    What is REALLY funny is
    I bet that you have to wear a weave because you are BALD.

    You where a TON of make up.

    Wear booty pads because you got a flat tail

    Got ashy feet..

    Booty stank Like a MF

    But you think you are so fine that you get get any man BUT YOU DONT HAVE ONE…

    What WORLD are you in>???

  21. May 20, 2012 at 12:54 am

    I find it so ironic that you were simple-minded enough to type a blog post about someone with Lupus and how she looks but yet your own photo is avatar-comic style. Let us see YOU and then type a blog about how busted you look. And even if you are even remotely attractive, the fact that you were tacky enough to make this post makes you drastically repulsive. And I have a co-worker with Lupus who will randomly get sores and face will look stressed one day and not the next. She may have put the makeup on so you couldn’t see any facial sores. Did it ever occur to you to think of that? The sores don’t stick around 24/7. Seriously, find something to do and take a journalism course. That way you can actually use your brain for research and not something as idiotic as this post. Now YOU have a seat and get off the computer. Let the real entertainment journalists do their jobs. Thanks.

  22. Roxanne
    May 20, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Candice, you sound like a big hypocrite to me! You say we should lay off her because she is a human being with a disease that has altered her appearance (which I doubt is the reason for her current look), yet go on to say at least she didn’t gain 60 pounds. So it would be acceptable to tear into her if it was weight gain instead?

  23. Dom
    June 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    OMG I just died ten times reading this! Not a Fashion Fair soooupavisah!

  24. Maydee
    July 2, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    Yeah, it looks a lot like Lupus to me. MJ (Kang Miko) had the same thing and tried to use makeup to conceal it in the beginning as well. Lupus can cause what they call a “butterfly rash,” which kind of looks like rosy, red cheeks and other kinds of skin blotches. Just looks like a really terrible makeup job to me, although I will admit this look did scare the living daylights out of me.

  25. [...] What happened to Lisa Turtle’s face? [...]

  26. Kellie
    October 15, 2012 at 3:22 am

    FYI Damn is spelled with an n not a b.

    • October 15, 2012 at 3:27 am

      Oh wow. Thanks for dropping that knowledge on me. DAMB. I had NOOOO idea. O_____________O