First of all, if you’re reading this, I’ll assume you’ve already read my recap of the premiere episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta on EBONY.com. If you haven’t, then getchu a piece and come back here for the extras.
This is my version of the “behind the scenes.” I have more thoughts about the episode that I didn’t include in my EBONY piece because I got a word count to adhere to AND I can’t be completely filterless over there, understandably. Either way, I GOT MORE WORDS HERE! So… yeah.
Oh and a bunch of these are my tweets. And you will deal.
1. First of all, no country for Stevie J for tryna move Mimi and her kid alla way to the Suburbs so he can do hoshit in the city. Is this what wealthy hoes do? Buy their chicks some concubine headquarters far away from the action so they can freak other women?
b. Why was Lil Scrappy on my screen looking like the stereotypical urban youth Sociology be talmbout? I pictured someone who looked just like him when I had to read “The Streetcorner Men” in college.
3a. I peep that K. Michelle uses brown gel on her edges. Yes, she belongs on this show.
IV. Joseline needs to get her life. She’s so willing to be in the role of the trifling trollop. Meanwhile, her badly done boob job makes her tits look like crop circles. Ain’t nobody here for RihanNAWL and her stranger boobs that seem to have never met. Joseline is Rihanna if they had let her loose in ATL when she first came from Barbados.
5. Momma Dee, Lil Scrappy’s mama needs closed captioning at ALL times. I didn’t understand most of what she said. But what I DO know is that she looks like she has a Slim Charles in her life that acts as her muscle. I know she USED to be a dope dealer and pimp but still. Also, she makes Nancy Jones, Jimmy’s mama, seem like Dorothy Mantooth. A saint.
F. The camera KEPT zooming in on these women and their fake or real yanshes that ATL is kinda infamous for at this point. I see how you doing, VH1! Is that cinematography shade?
VII. Mimi needs to pick up your dereon duffle and BOUNCE! Why’s she still even entertaining the foolery of Stevie J? He’s clearly putting his coins in all sorts of Love Pockets that ain’t hers. He’s so disrespectful and doesn’t give an Iota of a damb about her feelings.
8d. Why was Joseline rocking the finest in hood squirrel fur? How many rodents had to die for her to rock that terrible jacket she wore? So many rats lost their lives. *pours out liquor*
9. I liked Ariane the most out of all the ladies so far. She seemed to have it a little bit together and her hair was LAIDT. But the season is young so we shall see if she stays cool.
X. I need to be watching Love and Hip Hop Atlanta while sipping on the finest of moscatos and eating flaming hots. It’s only right. I’ma be prepared next week.
But yeah, this first episode was one of the messiest premieres EVER. They didn’t waste no time or play any bald-headed games before getting started. The ratchetness was aplenty, so naturally, I’m looking forward to next week’s episode. I think the city of Atlanta is gonna need a crisis communications team after this season is over. Mona Scott-Young, producer of LHHATL really outdid herself in finding a group of drama queens.
Oh VH1. As you and BET compete for who has the most ratchet offerings. You seem to be winning right now. Or losing. Whichever way you want to play it.