Oh Tyrese. I gotta start this post like this because the man just makes me hit my facepalm often. I mean, first it’s because of his love-hate relationship with the English language. He loves to hate on rules of grammar and syntax. So much so that he has his own category on DumbestTweets.com. This is also why he’s blocked me on Twitter, but
I ain’t e’em do nothing we won’t get into that this time.
Ennehweighs, Black Ty takes himself very seriously, and he seems to also think he’s the deepest dude this side of the Equator. Why else would he paint a picture of Malcolm X baptizing Tupac, thinking he was really doing something dope? To his credit though, he seems to have stayed out the arts and crafts store this month so that’s good. Tyrese wants the world to know he has thoughts, so it should come as no surprise that he would write a poem.
See what happened was, last night I was minding my own business on Twitter (O_O) when @KaoriJoy tweeted me saying Tyrese had written a father’s day poem on his blog. I just KNEWED what was waiting for me was gonna be doing the most with the absolute least and I was not disappointed.
Here’s an excerpt:
My father taught me to read. Some words I couldn’t pronounce. My dad was strong and with his deep voice he would help me with new words. He had “My Back”.
As a little girl I loved Mommy’s advice about dating men.. But it’s nothing like hearing the raw truth from my daddy who is a real man who understands men.. I have avoided many heartaches because my dad had “My Back”.
Here I stand proudly with my chest poked out , throughout all of life’s unexpected challenges, I kept my determination and focus and earned this cap and gown. A powerful moment, not only am I graduating school, I’m graduating in life. I look to my left and I see my mother. I look to my right and see my father. They both stand proudly with their hands on “My Back”.
Here’s my sincere SALUTE to all of the real FATHERS around the world… Real fathers know that being a father is not just a day but it’s a year round effort to love, embrace and just be there.
To all of the single mothers playing the role of mother and father God bless you!! Salute!!
Girl… Ummm… ok. Ain’t nobody here for that so…
Aight fine. Let me be slightly nice. Before I start roasting, I’ma say bless his heart. Bless Tyrese Gibson’s heart for trying to feel his feelings and put them on paper (or screen). I give him props for not being afraid of being vulnerable. Also, kudos to him for understanding the value of being a good father. Now that I’ve gotten that nicety outta the way…
First of all, I thought the poem was from a boy (who I assumed was Tyrese as a young’un) to his daddy. Why in the middle of it, he talmbout “as a little girl?” I don’t THINK the poem is supposed to be from the perspective of a little girl since he started it with the introduction: “This is a spoken word from a child to his father…” So there’s that.
Or MAYBE it’s supposed to be poem from the collective voices of children. Heck, I’unno.
And of course, Tyrese would include single mothers in a Father’s Day poem. He is just that simple. I thought everyone got the memo that single mothers actually aren’t flattered by being told “Happy Father’s Day.” Maybe Ty’s memo got lost under a dictionary, which we all know is the last place he’d look for stuff.
What’s even more side-eye worthy than the terrible ode itself are the comments on it. People are in the comments talmbout how the poem has touched them deeply and some said it brought tears to their eyes. YES. I CRIED TOO WHEN I READ IT! Except I was crying for actual poets and the art of spoken word. Desecrated in such a fashion. I cried like Bruh Man from the FIF floor did when he had that nightmare that he saw a ‘fridgerator that was clear, full of sammiches but was locked. Oh yeah. Luvvie cried. I am offended on behalf of poetry everywhere. Nikki Giovanni needs to go find Tyrese and mollywhop him. Langston Hughes’ ghost should haunt him twice a week.
Every haiku, limerick, rhyme, sonnet and iambic pentameter ever written needs to come together and kick him in the shins with instructions telling him to quit it.
Back to the comments though. This one slayed me the most: “This poem has expanded my underanding on what Fathers are and need to be in America. Thank You Ty. Standing with ten toes down as always.” SIR WHAT?? He got ALL’AT from that basic ass poem? Oh ok. O___O And yes, “underanding.” I copied and pasted that verbatim. Figures that Tyrese’s admirers are fellow non-spellers. I don’t have time for him and his lowered expectations minions.
In fact, I blame all 88 people who commented on that poem with praises for his overestimation of writing talents. Folks are gassing this dude up like he REALLY slayed. NAWL. Y’all are the enablers to his bad content.
All I want is for Tyrese to pay his fare, sit on the back of that bus, sing about Coca-Cola and get off at his stop. THAT IS ALL I WANT FROM MR. GIBSON. All this art and writing he’s doing. I’m not here for that. Like he’s not here for spell check or good grammar and punctuation.
Tyrese gotta learn to stay in his lane. Being an intellect is so far out his lane that he’s on the highway median.
Now who got MY BACK after reading Tyrese’s ode? I ASK WHO??? Did you read the whole poem? Am I being too hard on Tyrese? Let a homie know.
Category: Famous folks