YESSS!!! Another week of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta on VH1! That show gives me tea for my ratchet ass fever. YES GAWDT! Anywho, first, getchu a piece of my recap on EBONY.com. Yes. Because I wrote it and I’d love if you read it. Besides, that got all the meat of the show. This is just the juice here.
* Mimi told Ariane last week that she’s not with Stevie J for his peen. To this I say “OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!” Because after an hour more of his foolishness, I don’t see him having any other redeeming value besides that magic stick he’s packing. And because of Twitter and the heathens on there, I know exactly what it looks like. *coughs* YOU AIN’T GOTTA LIE, MIMI! You ain’t gotta lie to kick it AT ALL. We all know why you sat there while he occupies other Love Pockets.
* What was that raggelly ass reject Dorothy Dandridge wig Joseline had on in this episode? Was that her way of trying a new look? It was all frizzya and busted looking. But if you look hard enough, you’ll realize she’s actually sorta pretty. Underneath the strong jaws and the crop circle boobs.
* Rasheeda and Kirk, the one couple on the show who are married, are actually kinda cute. They’ve been married for 12 years and Kirk is her manager, so he was talmbout how he bends backwards to make her happy. AAWWW! In reality TV show, this is so atypical. Although they have no on-screen chemistry and seem less than hubby and wife and more like roommates who do business together. Either way, I’ll let them cook. I’m rooting for them.
But I’ma ask. Who gon tell Rasheeda that them cornrows of hers need to make an exit soon? Nobody? Aight then. (-___-)
* Let’s talk about Erica’s mama, Mignon (or is it Mingnon?). First of all, when I first saw her, I thought that was Erica. Mignon is thicker than a snicker with extra almonds in that bodycon dress she wore. And she seems nice. I even forgive her for acting like she “can’t stand the rain” like Missy in those fingerwaves. And y’all peep her brown gel baby hair? LAWD. Bless her heart. I like her doe.
* But can we talk about the shade that Stevie J threw when he was all “Mimi owns a little cleaning company so I went to see her there.” “Little” though, Stevie? He ain’t about that life AT ALL. And Mimi’s cleaning business looked oddly like Scrappy’s kitchen from another angle but maybe that’s just me.
* Why is Karlie so pressed to work with Stevie J? Did he switch lives with the Neptunes? I didn’t realize dude is dropping hot music lately because I think last time he had a hit, gas was still under $2. I don’t know why she’s so insistent on a dude whose career is currently tepid at best. Did I miss something? Besides, if Stevie J was REALLY doing something major, RihanNAWL won’t be his star client right now. OOP.
* When Joseline tells Stevie J that she’s late and he looks at her like booboo the fool, and then proceeds to argue with her about whether she’s 3 weeks or a month late, I wanted to mollywop him. The fact that it was even possible for her to get pregnant means his side-part having ass slept with her sans prophylactics. Why don’t people act like STDs are a real reality in 2012???
* Rasheeda’s backup dancers were shaking their tailfeathers like it was 2002 and they were in a Murphy Lee video. I see that she must not have had a stylist AND a choreographer. What a good and terrible shame. She coulda watched some youtube tutorials and come up with better ideas.
* Lil Scrappy and Erica. I don’t see it for them at all. Well, I don’t see it for anyone and Scrappy, really. Because he always looks like he leaves slime behind. He’s so greasy looking allatahm and he has about as much charm as a cranky zombie. I agreed when Erica’s mama told her that he was just a boy and not up to her level. MIGNON BE KNOWING.
* When Joseline brings the pregnancy test to Stevie J, and it’s positive, the look he gave her was the coldest! He is the pits. For him to basically allude to her that he wants her to get rid of the baby was proof. That hapless idiot was all “You know you got photoshoots and choreography” as a way to convince her. The nerve! But he TRULY showed out when Joseline threatened to take 50% of his earnings if she does have a baby and he stands up, grabs his peen and goes “You can take 50% of this d*ck.” Chile I clutched my pearls like a nun at a Pr0n convention. I can’t.
Ladies, please procreate with people worth your time because the Stevie Js of the world? NAWL.
But who knows? We gon see if Joseline is really pregnant next week. Mona Scott-Young’s script might throw us for a loop.
Oh and by the way, kudos to the camera and cinematography team on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. The angles are PHENOMENAL. I wonder how many takes they gotta do to perfect the shots. Yes. Shade.
Did you watch it? Whatchu think? Isn’t it deliciously ratchet and the worst thing on TV and aren’t you gonna tune in every week? Yes.