KimYe, the Heat, Occupy Wall Street, Ocean Stans, Viacom: 5 Things I’m Not Here For
The homie SteenFox posted 5 Things I’m Not Here For on her Tumblr the other day and challenged folks to blog about 5 things they are not here for. So below are mine.
* Viacom and DirecTV’s beef – When I was watching “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” on Monday, and saw warning on my TV screen saying DirecTV might be dropping VIACOM’s channels by midnight, I didn’t take it seriously. I really thought “eh. They’ll figure it out before then.” I WAS WRONG AS HELL! because the next day, I turned on my TV and VH1 was all “NAWL.” So was MTV. And BET. And Nickelodeon. Ain’t that a bish??? Listen. I’ont gibbadamb who pulled whose ponytail or who stole the other person’s lunch.
I need them to WORK THIS OUT! Innocent people are suffering from lack of foolery at the hands of VIACOM and DirecTV’s pettiness with this whole bill disagreement. WHY MUST WE SUFFER??? They can’t take away all my ratchet channels like this. Like for real. I can’t watch Snooki’s munchkin life, I can’t hate on BET for no reason and VH1’s ratchetness gives me the tea for my fever. I need them to figure this out and fix it ASAPtually because I’m not here for this.
I demand you fix this RAHT NAH. Well, at least do it before Monday. I got a job to do. And that is to watch Joseline and her team of fools.
* Frank Ocean Stans – Before last week, I had never listened to Frank Ocean nor could I pick him out of a lineup. And then he wrote the poignant letter about how his first love was a man and everywhere I turned, folks were talmbout Frank Ocean. Then I finally saw his pic for the first time. Now I can probably pick him out of a lineup with 65% accuracy and I have still not listened to his music.
Many kudos to him for coming out because it took strength and I have much respect for him for that. However, I didn’t have interest in his music before then and I still don’t have interest in it now. I don’t doubt he’s talented but lately, people have placed him on this pedestal that’s been a bit annoying. Folks have been on hyperbole overload when it comes to him and I’m not here for it. Like Global Grind:
Really? But it just came out 2.3 days ago. Is this not a bit premature, to say the least? Also, when did “exclusive” start meaning “The opinion of our editors?” Folks gon stop misusing words all willy nilly. People are almost calling this man the second coming of Tupac. He’s officially the Love Jones of music to me.
Frank Ocean stans are no different from other stans with their enthusiasm of him but I’m not here for them. Not right now. Also, they make me even more disinterested in his music. He seems like a nice enough fella though.
* This Oppressive Heatwave – Man, I was really looking forward to the summertime but I had no clue I’d be placed in the 7th level of Beezlebub’s vacation home. This 105 degree heat we’ve been dealing with in Chicago and across the country has been beyond oppressive. It’s been so hot that I just want to go sit in a pool of holy water and ask the Lord for forgiveness for ALL of my sins.
It’s been hotter than the underside of Rick Rawse’s titties while he on stage jigging w/ a velour suit on. In Arizona. At high noon. I need Adele to get her smokes, put her hair in that side ponytail, sat on that stool and sing a song called “Bitch it’s hot.” There are few times I’m actually glad my thighs are strangers. This is one of em. I can’t imagine that struggle in this 102 degree heat. This heat is oppression, racism, prejudice and sexism ALL AT ONCE! I am offended and appalled and I am not here for it.
* KimYe – Ok I wasn’t here for Kanye West and Kim Kardashian since I heard they’d combined their attention whoredom into a couple. However, I didn’t realize they’d be so ridiculous with it. Well, by they, I mean, Kim. Apparently, being with Kanye has changed her style. If you’ve noticed, Kim only rocks earth tones and neutrals now. Nowadays, she only steps out in black, white, ivory and the occasional gray.
Whatever happened to the bright-colored body-con dress loving Kim Kardashian we’ve all grown to know and not love? Yes, I’m glad she doesn’t wear a bandage dress everywhere anymore but she also rocks white tees all the time now. Before she started dating Kanye, I’d NEVER seen a picture of her in a white tee. Now it’s her daily uniform, with leather leggings her and Kanye seem to share, of course. I don’t half understand why they’ve been dressing alike lately. No one man should have all that power on you, Kim. Chile…
It seems to ME that Kim K is losing herself in Kanye and I’m not here for it.
* Occupy Wall Street – They’re STILL occupying Wall Street? LAWD. I’ve totally forgotten about it until someone RTed them into my timeline today. And I was all “Wayment. They’re still in tents in the middle of New York?” I guess… When OccupyWallStreet first kicked off, I was cheering them on. The 99% and 1% tagline generated great conversation. It shed light on the important issue of economic and financial disparity and young folks showed they do have an attention span. But when the OWS folks couldn’t identify a cohesive message, the lost me.
It’s been 10 months now and to me, it seems like a glorified summer camp. Methinks some of the people and their iPhones need to go #OccupyASeat indoors, then #OccupyMonster #OccupyLinkedIn #OccupyAnInterviewSuit #OccupyCareerBuilder. They need to occupy some other things besides a public park. I’m just saying.
Are you here for any of these things or is it just me? What are the 5 things you’re not here for?
Oh but before I go. One thing I AM here for?
YESSS!! Twerk something, Velma!