TV

I Have Questions About Love and Hip Hop ATL Episode 4

Aight so as always, check out my recap of Love and Hip Atlanta Episode 4 on EBONY.com. Also, if you missed my sternly-worded letter to Stevie J from last week, getchu a piece (Dear Stevie J, You and Your Groupon Peen are the Worst). Here are my remaining thoughts that I couldn’t fit there because a homie got word counts to look out for and more ratchetness.

* When will Mimi get tired of telling her girls these embarrassing tales that involve Stevie J? Even if you don’t want to leave him for ALL the trifling things he’s done, leave him to save your damb dignity. If I was one of her girls, my perma side-eye would be activated for Mimi and her love of punishment at the hands of a man who thinks hair parts are cute. Mimi talmbout “when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough.” Girl you shoulda BEEN had enough, girl. Bless your heart. ‪

* Did the producers of the show run out of sets to use? Lil Scrappy’s house looked very much like Mimi’s “little cleaning company” from a couple of weeks ago.

* Why did Momma Dee ask Scrappy if he’s “hit it” with Buckey? Didn’t she hopscotch on the “doing the most” line? Also, why’s she so thug in everything? When she was talmbout how Scrappy needs to handle Stevie, I fully expected her to be like “Nebmind. I’ma deal with it myself.” She’s a real goon.

* So when Stevie J dropped Joseline off at the abortion clinic, why didn’t VH1’s cameras capture that? Or at least the car ride on the way to the clinic. Y’all captured her taking the pregnancy test but you’ont show us the process that led up to that. Chile… ok. Also, Stevie’s wack ass cooked Joseline breakfast before taking her for an abortion. Was that supposed to be some peace offering? Lawd.

Joseline Stevie

* Why did I feel bad for Joseline when she asked Stevie J if she ever loved her and he kissed her instead? That poor child was practically begging for it, and being the Ain’t Shit dude that he is, Stevie dismissed her like a child.

* Weren’t you wondering whether Mignon could stand the rain with that fingerwave mullet of hers? YUP.

* Aren’t Rasheeda and her hubby kinda cute? They seem to really like each other. And yes, she still reminds me of Alicia Keys. ALLATAHM.

* Why does Mimi always act like she’s accomplished something major every time she ignores Stevie’s phonecalls for a couple of days? Also, when she goes off on him, she goes so hard in the paint that I almost believed she’d show Stevie a consequence to his cheating. Mimi is doing all this barking but next time Stevie J wants to sing her some wack ass love song over candlelight, she’ll be melting. WOMP.

Stevie J

Ugh! I can’t stand his little chipmunk squirrel rodent face.

* Where in the 1998 hell did they find Benzino? What rock in what cave how many miles under the Earth did VH1 find him? Wowsies.

* Why is Shay Buckey Johnson so damb thick? I was MAD jealous when they showed her body. It’s ridiculous. Also, Scrappy and her as BFFs. I don’t believe it.

* Why does Joseline’s ass look like two volleyballs? Whoever is doing these ass implants for these ladies needs to step their cookies up. When they showed Joseline in the dance studio in boy shorts, I just wanted to walk behind her and serve her booty over a net. Ma’am, that’s a fail. And those braids of hers? Man… they were the epitome of struggle. And her edges looked like an ultrasound. NAWL.

* Why was the fight between Scrappy and Stevie so badly choreographed? They shoulda hired the team that did “Kill Bill” because that fight was so weak! Ain’t nobody put paws on nobody! All they did was bear hug and roll around on the ground. BOOOOOOOOOO!

* Why is Joseline so hellbent on losing? “AH GEY STEBIE MY HAR’, MY SOAL. I GEY HE EREETHAN.” Meanwhile, all he gave her was his sperm and the ride and money to get rid of it. WOMP.

But yeah, these folks are A MESS. And I am addicted to their foolishment.

True story.

Whatcha think of this week’s episode?

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30 Comments

  1. Shanee
    July 10, 2012 at 9:07 am — Reply

    This entire show is nothing but a Triple Crown Publications book come to life and the writing is just as bad. All we need is for somebody to get shot and some kind of heist

    • I Wanna Cum in Luvvie's Hair
      July 10, 2012 at 9:20 am — Reply

      This entire show is a mess but i luv it. Joseline is my favorite despite everyone clowning on her…Mimi…chile…

    • Joy
      July 10, 2012 at 9:25 am — Reply

      Oh no she didn’t say a “Triple Crown Publications book!” *dead*

      • Crystal
        July 10, 2012 at 11:26 am — Reply

        LMAO!! So tru tho!

    • LadyLark
      July 10, 2012 at 11:52 pm — Reply

      Girrrrrrl! I was wondering if they done went and hired Tyler Perry to ghost write for ‘em. As they recycled a few lines from only an episode or 2 prior and gave them to Joseline. Why do I also feel like Erica might’ve gotten slapped in that fake scuffle? Mona Scott Young should be ashamed for feeding guilty pleasures in this fashion.

  2. Yadi
    July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am — Reply

    -They went and dug up Benzino as the purveyor of rhyme and reason…

    -Momma Dee, Stevie J, and Mimi can’t keep a straight face to save their lives. Mona needs to send them back to (scripted) reality tv boot-camp.

    • LadyLark
      July 10, 2012 at 11:59 pm — Reply

      Right. Why was Steebie playing to the camera in that car scene-EVERWHICHWAYHELOOKED? He and Magazine-o looked like they were in a BET movie of the week. (No compliment to ebt intended.)

  3. Kirby
    July 10, 2012 at 10:19 am — Reply

    Maybe they didn’t show the abortion clinic so anti-abortion radicals wouldn’t roll up and set the clinic on fire or something. See…trying to give VHNone the benefit of the doubt…No?…ok, well.

    It’s so bad that it’t so horribly good. I always want to eat popcorn out of a crown royal bag while watching. Or Church’s Chicken. Something hood rich.

    • Yadi
      July 10, 2012 at 11:20 am — Reply

      popcorn, crown royal bag…i just might try that. i have yet to figure out the producer’s motivation for this show but I always feel like that scene from Gladiator…”Are you not entertained!?”

    • Joanndith
      July 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm — Reply

      Don’t forget the hot sauce on the popcorn. And some mawlt lihkah!

  4. July 10, 2012 at 10:29 am — Reply

    i’m a couple of episodes behind but reading your blog keeps me from deleting them from my Tivo – i know it’s gonna be straight comedy when i get to watch 3 or 4 episodes back to back – your commentary is classic!!

  5. candigirlindmv
    July 10, 2012 at 11:43 am — Reply

    I don’t have cable but between Twitter, Facebook, Bosspi and Awesomely Lovie…I won’t ever have to subscribe. I have a gf who faithfully watches this show and yet I have to inform her about stuff that’s happening lol. LOVE LOVE LOVE the comments ya’ll, keep ‘em coming!!

  6. TawannaS
    July 10, 2012 at 11:45 am — Reply

    Yes Bucky and Scrappy are BFF’s as in Best “Fuckin” Friends! You know like play cousins…..UmmHmm! Scrappy may not have put paws on StevieJ but I bet he did I. Bucky!

  7. TawannaS
    July 10, 2012 at 11:47 am — Reply

    Correction: Scrappy may not have put his passes on StevieJ but I bet he did on Bucky.

  8. July 10, 2012 at 11:57 am — Reply

    “And her edges looked like an ultrasound. NAWL”
    iCant. *slayed*

    • Bri
      July 11, 2012 at 10:17 am — Reply

      I am hollering at my desk at that damn line!

  9. Cheekie
    July 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm — Reply

    OMG, I hate that rodent Stevie J face too!!! I audibly “GAHHHH” every time he does it. SOMEone musta told him that was hot and I need to find who so they can be banned from the universe.

    I also hate that “Fake CEO” power-hand-pyramid he always doing in order to appear important. He just skeeves me out in general. LOL

    • LadyLark
      July 11, 2012 at 12:16 am — Reply

      4realzies…I remember I met another jackarse that too looked rodent like and thought he was the ishnet as well. I guess a rat face and Chihuahua body is what’s hot in these streets. He really should get off of his own sack, that’s Mimi, Jose and 5 other fools’ job.

      Oh I luvv yr site. You keep the foolywang coming and the laughter flowing.

  10. steebij face
    July 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm — Reply

    that was the worst fight ever in reality hood show history Luvvie you described that “action-wait-cut” scene the best… i so wanted more sigh..

  11. CaspercutieSTL
    July 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm — Reply

    Stebie J and his faces crack me up! He must really think he is the most charming mofo in the ATL.

  12. paintgurl40
    July 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm — Reply

    ya’ll are killing me with these comments!! now i wanna watch next week’s episode with a strawberry pop and some sunflower seeds covered in hot sauce.

  13. Shannon
    July 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm — Reply

    so…I know nothing about abortions, but don’t you usually have to fast before most medical procedures?? would she have eaten a big breakfast right before they cleared out her supposed uterus??

  14. femmfatale8
    July 10, 2012 at 6:38 pm — Reply

    Poorly scripted show. The end.

  15. ellimar
    July 10, 2012 at 7:37 pm — Reply

    Now you know good and well that 1. you cannot eat prior to an abortion or surgical procedure. 2. She was never pregnant. 3. They didn’t show an abortion or abortion roundtrip because Joseline is Jose…

  16. Vee
    July 11, 2012 at 6:13 am — Reply

    I gots thoughts & feedback, gurl…

    –First off, YOU, ma’am, are a “booty connoisseur” after my own heart. No “Ellen” or anything (not that there’s anything wrong w/ that, lol)—but I am so >>HERE<< w/ you re. Shay, Erykah & Serena. Yay, it wasn’t just me!

    –We all know Mimi ain’t done by a long shot…if she were, she would have SHOWN him rather than tell him and just LEAVE. He’s totally used to her blackouts & finds them rather cute & amusing.

    –How ‘bout, I totally WANTED Momma Dee to be like, “Nebmind. I’ma deal with it myself,” LOL? Seems to me she woulda done a much better job on both Stevie AND Joseline.

    –I could be on the fast track to hell for this, but part of me wanted Joseline to keep the baby just so I could watch her struggle. But, naw—woe to the child who’d ever draw the shortest straw up in heaven to be born to that hoodrat…so I’ma take that back.

    –“And her edges looked like an ultrasound.”—I CAN’T!!! That was classic…I actually needed a minute or two to process that. Now I’m back.

    –Am I the only one who saw Stevie actually nibbling on Scrappy’s shoulder during their little ground tussle? Like, how bytchy IS that???

  17. Kim
    July 11, 2012 at 11:45 am — Reply

    I bet Eve is thanking God, Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Allah, Jah, Zeus, and every higher being known to man that she got rid of that rat-faced fool Steebie J. Lawd talk about bad dating decisions.

  18. SassyFrassy
    July 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm — Reply

    Did any of you see the bonus clips from episode 4? Security had to be called in to break up the argument between Stevie and Mimi… That man has definitely hit a woman before.

  19. July 11, 2012 at 10:43 pm — Reply

    …so, this is the beauty of the written word. Sometimes, something can be written that is so ridiculously funny that it makes a person almost drop their lap top, lay their head on their pillow and laugh so heard they nearly wet their pants…all the while wiping tears from their eyes. This is what you did to me tonight with the words “Ugh! I can’t stand his little chipmunk squirrel rodent face.” I think I almost hyperventilated.

  20. […] Viacom and DirecTV’s beef – When I was watching “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” on Monday, and saw warning on my TV screen saying DirecTV might be dropping VIACOM’s […]

  21. latemgate
    August 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm — Reply

    Whoever wrote this is funny, I love this show. It is fake, just like the fake negroes in real life we all know, its perfect! And joseline took the pregnancy test in a public restroom, who does that!! I love it!

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