Aight so as always, check out my recap of Love and Hip Atlanta Episode 4 on EBONY.com. Also, if you missed my sternly-worded letter to Stevie J from last week, getchu a piece (Dear Stevie J, You and Your Groupon Peen are the Worst). Here are my remaining thoughts that I couldn’t fit there because a homie got word counts to look out for and more ratchetness.
* When will Mimi get tired of telling her girls these embarrassing tales that involve Stevie J? Even if you don’t want to leave him for ALL the trifling things he’s done, leave him to save your damb dignity. If I was one of her girls, my perma side-eye would be activated for Mimi and her love of punishment at the hands of a man who thinks hair parts are cute. Mimi talmbout “when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough.” Girl you shoulda BEEN had enough, girl. Bless your heart.
* Did the producers of the show run out of sets to use? Lil Scrappy’s house looked very much like Mimi’s “little cleaning company” from a couple of weeks ago.
* Why did Momma Dee ask Scrappy if he’s “hit it” with Buckey? Didn’t she hopscotch on the “doing the most” line? Also, why’s she so thug in everything? When she was talmbout how Scrappy needs to handle Stevie, I fully expected her to be like “Nebmind. I’ma deal with it myself.” She’s a real goon.
* So when Stevie J dropped Joseline off at the abortion clinic, why didn’t VH1′s cameras capture that? Or at least the car ride on the way to the clinic. Y’all captured her taking the pregnancy test but you’ont show us the process that led up to that. Chile… ok. Also, Stevie’s wack ass cooked Joseline breakfast before taking her for an abortion. Was that supposed to be some peace offering? Lawd.
* Why did I feel bad for Joseline when she asked Stevie J if she ever loved her and he kissed her instead? That poor child was practically begging for it, and being the Ain’t Shit dude that he is, Stevie dismissed her like a child.
* Weren’t you wondering whether Mignon could stand the rain with that fingerwave mullet of hers? YUP.
* Aren’t Rasheeda and her hubby kinda cute? They seem to really like each other. And yes, she still reminds me of Alicia Keys. ALLATAHM.
* Why does Mimi always act like she’s accomplished something major every time she ignores Stevie’s phonecalls for a couple of days? Also, when she goes off on him, she goes so hard in the paint that I almost believed she’d show Stevie a consequence to his cheating. Mimi is doing all this barking but next time Stevie J wants to sing her some wack ass love song over candlelight, she’ll be melting. WOMP.
* Where in the 1998 hell did they find Benzino? What rock in what cave how many miles under the Earth did VH1 find him? Wowsies.
* Why is Shay Buckey Johnson so damb thick? I was MAD jealous when they showed her body. It’s ridiculous. Also, Scrappy and her as BFFs. I don’t believe it.
* Why does Joseline’s ass look like two volleyballs? Whoever is doing these ass implants for these ladies needs to step their cookies up. When they showed Joseline in the dance studio in boy shorts, I just wanted to walk behind her and serve her booty over a net. Ma’am, that’s a fail. And those braids of hers? Man… they were the epitome of struggle. And her edges looked like an ultrasound. NAWL.
* Why was the fight between Scrappy and Stevie so badly choreographed? They shoulda hired the team that did “Kill Bill” because that fight was so weak! Ain’t nobody put paws on nobody! All they did was bear hug and roll around on the ground. BOOOOOOOOOO!
* Why is Joseline so hellbent on losing? “AH GEY STEBIE MY HAR’, MY SOAL. I GEY HE EREETHAN.” Meanwhile, all he gave her was his sperm and the ride and money to get rid of it. WOMP.
But yeah, these folks are A MESS. And I am addicted to their foolishment.
Whatcha think of this week’s episode?