Whose is this?

Whose Old Babe is This?

The internet is a den of Iniquity and there are sometimes when I wonder how I come across the things I do. The picture below is one of those times:

Old Babe

*deepest sigh in the history of life*

I don’t e’em… I can’t e’em… but what is… LAWDDDDD!!!

Why is this older gentleperson rocking a fitted scoop neck tee with “babe” on it and a matching bustier and boyshorts? And then he accessorized it with some thigh highs and pumps. And a choker. To make the #alphet really pop. O___O

I have SO many questions and not enough answers.

a. Who is he talmto on that phone? Is it his ride from the airport? Does the person know he’s showing up looking like a geriatric call girl who lost his weigh (yes weigh)?

2. Why is that bustier holding on for dear life? How did it even clip to begin with, especially since it clearly wasn’t made in his size? Those titanium clasps are like “HELL NAWL, WE WON’T GO!”

III. Is that a bodysuit? Does that shirt clasp at the crotch? I don’t know where it ends. Maybe it’s under the girdle. I’m confused. But that upside down muffin top he got going got me perplexed.

4. I’m pretty sure he’s at an airport. How did TSA react to him? Did they make him take off the girdle at security?

5. Why are his legs kinda nice. They’re all shapely. Maybe it’s the heels that set them off right. Speaking of…

VI. Where’d he get those heels though? I like them.

G. When old babe looked in the mirror after putting this ensemble on, did he really think he was serving the children? I wanna know if he was he like “YES BISH! I AM SLAYING!!!!”

This man really looks like he’s someone’s regular ol’ granddaddy from the nexk up. He even has the customary old white man haircut. But once you get below his chin, chaos reigns. And his luggage is all sensible. Meanwhile, he’s standing there looking like what I imagine Lil Kim will in 20 years. Chile… iCan’t.

But really. Whose old babe is this? Did they pick him up on time from the airport? He looks like he’s waiting.

30 Comments

  1. July 9, 2012 at 9:42 am — Reply

    ::packs bags & sits on the porch waiting for the Lord to swoop down & take his children home::

    That picture took me out… I wasn’t even ready. I just… he looks so perched in that corset I can’t… no words.

    • whatupdoe
      July 9, 2012 at 10:25 am — Reply

      *brings luggage and joins you on the porch stoop* You want some Cool Ranch Doritos?

      O_O moment of the week…and it’s Monday.

      • Marsha S. Haneiph
        July 9, 2012 at 11:42 am — Reply

        I’ve got baked pretzels, hummus and two chilled bottles of Moscato. It’s a party!

        • July 9, 2012 at 8:48 pm — Reply

          Thank y’all for the Cool Ranch Doritos & Moscato – I bought Gummi Bears to make an even spread lol.

          Got a better look at this picture since I was at work when I first saw it this morning. If I were at the airport & I saw him, I would have indeed asked homie in pink where he was going. Some questions need to be asked. Could you imagine the clothes he had packed in his suitcases?!?!

          ::sits right back on the porch::

          • Tootie512
            June 24, 2013 at 11:25 am

            I got some Flaming Hot Cheetos and some Nutter Butters. Let me squeeze in here and wait with yall for the Lords return.

  2. NCQueenCityChick
    July 9, 2012 at 9:44 am — Reply

    OMG, OMG I just cant right now. I mean, he really looks like the Granddad that comes around with extra change in his pockets for the grandkids. I just dont even understand that outfit. The worst part is that he looks super comfortable in it, like its not his first rodeo kids. I hope that he wasn’t left stranded there dressed in all his glory and sexiness.

  3. Aimee
    July 9, 2012 at 9:49 am — Reply

    I’m hoping he lost a bet because otherwise he’s lost his mind. iCan’t…

    • SoundsLikeRamona
      July 9, 2012 at 10:05 am — Reply

      LMAO Why was that the first thing that popped in my mind????!!!!

  4. TeeBee
    July 9, 2012 at 9:54 am — Reply

    Luvvie!

    I’ve seen pics of him before! Papaw just loves his Lady of the Night garb! There was a fuss over him being allowed to board a plane, while a Black man in sagging pants was hassled by TSA.

    Here are some pics:
    http://poorlydressed.failblog.org/2011/03/17/fashion-fail-this-guy-again/

    Here is an article about the incident:
    http://blog.sfgate.com/crime/2011/06/21/man-flies-us-airways-in-womens-underwear-photo/#ixzz1Q0mCE25t

    • That Dude
      July 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm — Reply

      iHateU for those pictures. I did NOT need to see PawPaw’s thong th-thong thong thong… -___-

    • July 12, 2012 at 4:40 pm — Reply

      *high hives TeeBee* I’m glad you admitted to remembering this guy, cuz I was embarrassed that I did.

  5. Tracy
    July 9, 2012 at 10:01 am — Reply

    He must have lost a bet! Prayers going up for the person that had to sit next to him on the plane.

    • LadyTee16
      July 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm — Reply

      No bet was lost. He dresses this way on purposes. He and his “get it gurl” attire is no stranger to the interwebs!

      • femmfatale8
        July 10, 2012 at 6:45 pm — Reply

        YES. This is just him in a different outfit. ;)

  6. SoundsLikeRamona
    July 9, 2012 at 10:07 am — Reply

    Ooooh, the tears! I. CAN. NOT. STOP. LAUGHING!
    This has made my ENTIRE day and it’s only 10 am!

  7. Dominique
    July 9, 2012 at 10:11 am — Reply

    LOL!!!!!!!!! There is this website where people post pictures of people like him in the airport. I am 100% sure this is the same man that is on that site a million different times. I wonder if he’s a performance artist like Baton Bob! I think this is the website, haven’t been on it in a while but I’m pretty sure it’s him! http://freakjet.com/

  8. July 9, 2012 at 10:42 am — Reply

    So, ok. He is willing and able to go all out with corset and thigh highs and a choker, but he can’t sport a wig and some false eyelashes? And what’s with the sensible Seiko watch? Do it 100% or not at all, Granddad.

    • Dee
      July 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm — Reply

      YES!!!! I was thinking the same thing. Why half way?

  9. nicki
    July 9, 2012 at 5:31 pm — Reply

    The only thing that comes to mind (that I will allow to come to my mind) is that this is for a show like Betty White’s Off Your Rocker or Punked. PLEASE!

  10. femmfatale8
    July 10, 2012 at 6:37 pm — Reply

    There’s been pictures of him floating around the web for years. If I ran into him at the airport, I’d be indifferent. But maybe that’s just my generation.

  11. mymorex09
    July 11, 2012 at 12:37 am — Reply

    “chaos reigns.”
    That is my new phrase for all hot messes. Especially octogenarians in Rainbow clearance rack specials.

  12. Tice
    July 14, 2012 at 1:29 am — Reply

    While I never comment on any of your post (yes I am a proud) This one here made tears literally run down my face, I actually had to get up and do breathing exercises to calm down from laughing so hard.

    Thanks this definitely made my evening

  13. rickysyfee
    July 14, 2012 at 9:51 am — Reply

    We are just one of these away from God just turning off the oxygen on us all.

    ”Jesus!”
    ”yes God?”
    ”I know you saw what Sally Finkle’s boy put on today”
    ” Sir, I tried. I just kept telling him it looked bad, he ignores the voices in his head now”
    ”I ‘m just sick of it – turn off the air, thatll teach him”,
    *thump!* whole planet drops dead lol

  14. deandrea
    June 24, 2013 at 10:23 am — Reply

    Re: Point 1

    You might be ‘into’ this but might not want everyone to know that. Warn me before I get to the airport. Though even if a shapely natural born woman was dressed like that I’d probably give her only a little less side eye.

  15. Tracey
    June 24, 2013 at 10:29 am — Reply

    O____o

    This is why we can’t have a nice internet.

  16. shadgg02
    June 24, 2013 at 11:01 am — Reply

    why….is he so lumpy???
    *sigh* I have no other words…this is horrendous

  17. Lyric
    June 24, 2013 at 11:48 am — Reply

    Where’d you find this picture? This is me waiting to for yo man to pick me up! Snatchin yo niggas up!

    #staymad
    #staypressed
    #freeboosie

  18. Amyindc
    June 24, 2013 at 1:21 pm — Reply

    I SAW HIM ON THE HOLLYWOOD BEACH BOARDWALK!!! I swear. And I said, “there’s that fooh who’s all over the Internet with his ridiculous ENSEMBLES!! He’s famous!!”

  19. June 24, 2013 at 11:56 pm — Reply

    Um. Amazing.

  20. WhiskeyOnTheRox
    August 16, 2013 at 2:00 pm — Reply

    If I saw him in the airport. I’d…actually I don’t know what I would do…nevermind.

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