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Chad and Evelyn are Having the Worst Week Ever And Here’s Why

This madness with Chad “OchoCinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada left me a bit speechless for some days (on that matter, anyway. You know I was running my mouth about other things). But I couldn’t figure out what to say about these two when word of their drama leaked and spilled everywhere. Now, I sorta know what I wanna say but my thoughts really start with “These fools here…”

First, let me explain what happened in a handy chart, for those who haven’t kept up with it. Besides, charts make everything more awesome. FACT.

Chad Evelyn Saga

Chad and Evelyn argue and he ends up headbutting her.

Apparently, the argument starts after Ev finds a receipt for a box of condoms in his car. So this tips her off that he’s cheating on her, and they get into a heated argument which ends up with Chad headbutting her. I have so many questions for so many reasons and I’ma ask.

First of all, it’s great to find out their lack of prophylactics use is what tipped Evelyn off that her athlete husband who had trouble with monogamy might not be faithful to her O__O. But I’m perplexed because wasn’t it just recently that Ev HERSELF said she expects her man to cheat because men will do what they want to do??? Did she NOT say she’s not going to concern herself too much with such trite matters as to where else her husband would be putting his peen? Oh. Well yes she did. So why the huge disappointment now?

Chad OchoCinco and Evelyn Lozada

The couple during happier times. Pic from MissJia.com

But my MAIN question is that how does an argument get heated to the point where you feel like your best reaction at the moment is to HEAD BUTT someone, especially your wife? Like how do you forego all other modes of contact (all of them are WRONG, btw) and then hit her with your head? That’s a special level of temper that anger management classes might not be enough to treat. Chad REALLY headbutted Evelyn like he was in some mixed martial arts ring??? WHAT IN THE WORLD???

I’d like to take this moment to tell the folks who have been saying “well Evelyn is a hot head and probably provoked it” to chill. CHILL OUT. Evelyn coulda called his mama everything but a child of God and I can’t see any justification for Chad to hit her, let alone use his forehead like a fist. NAWL. NOPE. NOT tryna hear it. I don’t care how bad Evelyn’s temper is. That is all. Moving on…

Chad goes to jail after Evelyn calls 911, and Ev is taken to the hospital because she has a “laceration” on her head.

Chad’s head-butt to Evelyn caused a bloody gash on her forehead and the neighbor who helped her call 911 said it would probably require stitches. Chad is taken to jail and he spends the weekend there, but I doubt he expected the tornado of bad news that was about to roll in as he did his best impression of Miss Sofia in jail.

Chad Johnson Mugshot

Chad’s mugshot

This smug look on his face is clearly before the rest of the bad news rolled in.

The Miami Dolphins released Chad from his contract.

The first piece of news as that the Miami Dolphins tell Chad his services are no longer needed. They basically treated him like a 2-bit Tuesday hooker on Wednesday. OOP. It seems that the Dolphins weren’t loving him already and he was skating on the thinnest of ice but the head-butt was the straw that broke the camel’s contract. So not only was he in jail but he was now unemployed. But that wasn’t e’em it.

VH1 canceled the airing of the Chad and Evelyn show.

The network that has built its’ popularity on the back of ratchetness made the decision to drop the “Chad and Evelyn” show from its’ fall lineup. At first, I was confused by their motives. It surely couldn’t be that they’re so against violence (domestic or otherwise) that they were offended by Chad’s actions. That COULD NOT be it. Especially since Ev’s infamy has been built on her throwing bottles at folks and jumping off tables to beat them up.

But it turns out that VH1 already filmed their show and it’s based on the premise of showing their love for one another. So this massive drama murks all of that to pieces.

ALL their checks are stopping all of a sudden. What will these 2 attention whores do now? Well whatever it is, it’ll be done separately because…

Evelyn Lozada just filed for divorce from Chad. 

Today, six weeks after getting married, Evelyn put in the papers to end it with Chad (according to TMZ). SIX WEEKS. They make Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries look like Ossie and Ruby Dee Davis at their 72 days. Goodness gracious! I thought they’d fail eventually (I know I’m terrible) but I didn’t think it’d be THIS soon. I got packs of gum that have lasted longer in my bag than the Johnson-Lozada marriage and that’s a mess.

Hollywood stays making a mockery of marriage. In related news, same sex marriage is still illegal in many states because it apparently threatens the sanctity of the institution. Oh ok. O_O

sips drink tea gif

I was actually surprised when I found out Evelyn filed for divorce from Chad. Not because I thought they loved each other and were meant for long-lasting love, but because I figured they might milk this situation for some sort of “Therapy with Evelyn and Chad” show on VH1. I thought they’d try to reconcile and get other checks from it but I was wrong. Seems they’re really through. And they didn’t gain much from it. Womp.

So yeah, these two are having the worst week ever. Especially when you add the fact that Evelyn’s brother-in-law, Anthony Ochoa, died this week. He’s the guy who walked her down the aisle on July 4th. When I read that on Miss Jia’s site, I got the sads. That’s so unfortunate. Poor Ev.

Look out for another post from me. It’s probably gonna be a sternly-worded letter to these two. I still have words.

Anywho, whatcha think of this saga?

29 Comments

  1. Kyra
    August 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm — Reply

    Not a flow diagram!!! LOL!!! This relationship went down in flames, FAST. Tragic…

  2. Bpurpleb001
    August 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm — Reply

    Dang you Luvvie! I’m supposed to be cooking the kids a delicious dinner but I’m sitting hear cacklin instead. And that gif!!!! LMBO

  3. Gwendella
    August 14, 2012 at 5:26 pm — Reply

    The chart lol. I love it Luvie what a mess. Me I didn’t believe this sham no more then I believed the 72 day sham.

  4. thedimpledrn
    August 14, 2012 at 5:47 pm — Reply

    LUUUUUVVVIEEEEEEEE!!!!!! That *sips drink* GIF has slayyyyed me mercilessly. How could u???? Roflmao!!!

  5. AJ
    August 14, 2012 at 5:49 pm — Reply

    I don’t condone violence. Yet, ppl are all up in arms about this but this is the same Evelyn who was trying to beat Jennifer’s ass every chance she got. I mean Karma is a mutha. Sad but she is violent herself. Oan, this will make a great story line for her next season of BBW so Shaunie’s pockets will stay lined..

  6. August 14, 2012 at 5:56 pm — Reply

    I’ma sit here and blink sleepily like Jennifer and hold my mule cept for one question- when is she gonna write the next letter to her 7 year old self tho?

  7. LuckBALady
    August 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm — Reply

    The flow chart. iLuvit.

    • LuckBALady
      August 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm — Reply

      And oh…I just cannot find a care to give about either of those idiots.

  8. nickiw
    August 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm — Reply

    Thanks for the chart. I agree, charts do make everything more awesome. We should see more of them.

    As for Chad and Evelyn, are we done with the Jackson family drama?

  9. Trinifashionista
    August 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm — Reply

    Dead @ Dalia sipping on that DRANK!!!!

    • Calliepeach
      August 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm — Reply

      HA!! Ms. Dahlia has no dambs for anyone but her kangaroo…love that show!!

      • Nicole
        August 14, 2012 at 9:30 pm — Reply

        lolololol….thinking about how she actually got that kangaroo. That actress gets paid to keep the same facial expression at all time.

        Sorry I got off topic.

  10. Onyasef
    August 14, 2012 at 8:12 pm — Reply

    Thanks for the chart! This is the best thing I’ve read in long time LOL!

    I’m thinking she is so disappointed due to the fact it wasn’t a girl he was with…I wasn’t there but I’m just guessing your chart might have some interesting additions!!

  11. Manda
    August 14, 2012 at 8:15 pm — Reply

    Didn’t think their marriage was legal in the US. At least Chad hollered “We want prenup”…

  12. Tan
    August 14, 2012 at 8:20 pm — Reply

    I understand Luvvie the whole premise of no matter what Evelyn did in the past that Chad should not have hit her. I even agree with that. HOWEVER, I am still having trouble being sympathetic towards her. She “bout that life” ssssoooooo this is what happens in “that life”! no sadness over here. Just a big umph!

    • Yadi
      August 15, 2012 at 10:33 am — Reply

      THANK YOU…

      and good night folks!

  13. Sticky-n-Sweet
    August 15, 2012 at 6:05 am — Reply

    This may not be a popular statement buuuuut…I’m from New Orleans, thus, I have little to no couth, and I don’t even want none. I too used to be of the opinion that under no circumstances should a man ever hit a woman. Then I had a son, and I love my son. I’m raising my son to protect himself, and to value the lives and private space of others. If anyone, male or female, hits my son, with their fists or anything else, they will get hit back. You don’t want a man to hit you? The first thing to ensure is that you don’t hit him. Now granted, there are some Ike Turners out there that don’t need to be hit to be provoked but…this is Evelyn Lozada we’re talking about here. Evelyn, who will leap across a table like a rachet Gabby Douglas if you mention her friend’s two bedroom apt in Harlem. Evelyn, who will throw an entire table setting at your head for mentioning that she is, in fact, a heaux. So I seriously doubt that Evelyn, of the purse whacking, drink throwing, uber-rachet antics, saw that receipt and kept her hands to herself. She’s acted out over less. So if she hit Chad…bitch betta be glad a forehead cut was the worst of it. Because if she had hit my son over something she gave him permission to do ON AIR…baby…she’d still be in Intensive Care. Not because of what he did, but because of what happened after he called his mama. Don’t jump up like a man if you aren’t ready to get beat down like one.

    • Yadi
      August 15, 2012 at 10:37 am — Reply

      Haaay…NOLA up in this piece :)

    • TRa
      August 15, 2012 at 10:03 pm — Reply

      I agree whole heartedly with all of what you said, and I have always said the same, don’t put hands on someone if you don’t want hands put on u.

    • paintgurl40
      August 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm — Reply

      YES MA’AM!!!

      Luvvie that gif had me weak at the knees!!!!

    • IfYouEverComeBack
      August 17, 2012 at 12:08 am — Reply

      Say like a rachet Gabby Douglas. I hollered and cackled so hard at this I couldn’t breathe.

    • Name
      August 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm — Reply

      Round of applause!

  14. t.c
    August 15, 2012 at 6:57 am — Reply

    we (my finace and i) discussed this last night and he made the same point about her saying if you cheat protect yourself, but she also said, that she is NOT saying it’s ok to cheat but that he would at least respect her enough to protect himself if he did and being a football player…also, even if you think you are ready, noone is really ready to see something like that 40 days in…like a year down the line or a couple of MONTHS but not 40 days that’s insane even on his part…just my .1/2 cent

    • TRa
      August 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm — Reply

      If 2 ppl truly love each other there shouldn’t even be a discussion as to the possibility of cheating, and if she assumes it and gives the ok what did she expect, however many days it was. They should of NEVER got married, cuz they were entering into it already with the assumption of infidelity.

  15. Shieka
    August 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm — Reply

    great chart

  16. moosie
    August 15, 2012 at 9:34 pm — Reply

    im hollering right now….this right here is too funny….

  17. latemgate
    August 20, 2012 at 10:08 pm — Reply

    Love the chart, break it down, love it! I’m mad at vh1, they need to hire devils like me, I would not have cancelled that show, what!!! I feel cheated, I want to see it, the head butt, the dophins letting chad go… that could have been the closest thing to reality tv. Drats.

  18. [...] Chad and Evelyn are Having the Worst Week Ever And Here’s Why [...]

  19. October 1, 2014 at 10:51 am — Reply

    What’s up, for all time i used to check website
    posts here in the early hours in the break of day, as i love to learn more and more.

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