Chad and Evelyn are Having the Worst Week Ever And Here’s Why
This madness with Chad “OchoCinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada left me a bit speechless for some days (on that matter, anyway. You know I was running my mouth about other things). But I couldn’t figure out what to say about these two when word of their drama leaked and spilled everywhere. Now, I sorta know what I wanna say but my thoughts really start with “These fools here…”
First, let me explain what happened in a handy chart, for those who haven’t kept up with it. Besides, charts make everything more awesome. FACT.
Chad and Evelyn argue and he ends up headbutting her.
Apparently, the argument starts after Ev finds a receipt for a box of condoms in his car. So this tips her off that he’s cheating on her, and they get into a heated argument which ends up with Chad headbutting her. I have so many questions for so many reasons and I’ma ask.
First of all, it’s great to find out their lack of prophylactics use is what tipped Evelyn off that her athlete husband who had trouble with monogamy might not be faithful to her O__O. But I’m perplexed because wasn’t it just recently that Ev HERSELF said she expects her man to cheat because men will do what they want to do??? Did she NOT say she’s not going to concern herself too much with such trite matters as to where else her husband would be putting his peen? Oh. Well yes she did. So why the huge disappointment now?
But my MAIN question is that how does an argument get heated to the point where you feel like your best reaction at the moment is to HEAD BUTT someone, especially your wife? Like how do you forego all other modes of contact (all of them are WRONG, btw) and then hit her with your head? That’s a special level of temper that anger management classes might not be enough to treat. Chad REALLY headbutted Evelyn like he was in some mixed martial arts ring??? WHAT IN THE WORLD???
I’d like to take this moment to tell the folks who have been saying “well Evelyn is a hot head and probably provoked it” to chill. CHILL OUT. Evelyn coulda called his mama everything but a child of God and I can’t see any justification for Chad to hit her, let alone use his forehead like a fist. NAWL. NOPE. NOT tryna hear it. I don’t care how bad Evelyn’s temper is. That is all. Moving on…
Chad goes to jail after Evelyn calls 911, and Ev is taken to the hospital because she has a “laceration” on her head.
Chad’s head-butt to Evelyn caused a bloody gash on her forehead and the neighbor who helped her call 911 said it would probably require stitches. Chad is taken to jail and he spends the weekend there, but I doubt he expected the tornado of bad news that was about to roll in as he did his best impression of Miss Sofia in jail.
This smug look on his face is clearly before the rest of the bad news rolled in.
The Miami Dolphins released Chad from his contract.
The first piece of news as that the Miami Dolphins tell Chad his services are no longer needed. They basically treated him like a 2-bit Tuesday hooker on Wednesday. OOP. It seems that the Dolphins weren’t loving him already and he was skating on the thinnest of ice but the head-butt was the straw that broke the camel’s contract. So not only was he in jail but he was now unemployed. But that wasn’t e’em it.
VH1 canceled the airing of the Chad and Evelyn show.
The network that has built its’ popularity on the back of ratchetness made the decision to drop the “Chad and Evelyn” show from its’ fall lineup. At first, I was confused by their motives. It surely couldn’t be that they’re so against violence (domestic or otherwise) that they were offended by Chad’s actions. That COULD NOT be it. Especially since Ev’s infamy has been built on her throwing bottles at folks and jumping off tables to beat them up.
But it turns out that VH1 already filmed their show and it’s based on the premise of showing their love for one another. So this massive drama murks all of that to pieces.
ALL their checks are stopping all of a sudden. What will these 2 attention whores do now? Well whatever it is, it’ll be done separately because…
Evelyn Lozada just filed for divorce from Chad.
Today, six weeks after getting married, Evelyn put in the papers to end it with Chad (according to TMZ). SIX WEEKS. They make Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries look like Ossie and Ruby Dee Davis at their 72 days. Goodness gracious! I thought they’d fail eventually (I know I’m terrible) but I didn’t think it’d be THIS soon. I got packs of gum that have lasted longer in my bag than the Johnson-Lozada marriage and that’s a mess.
Hollywood stays making a mockery of marriage. In related news, same sex marriage is still illegal in many states because it apparently threatens the sanctity of the institution. Oh ok. O_O
I was actually surprised when I found out Evelyn filed for divorce from Chad. Not because I thought they loved each other and were meant for long-lasting love, but because I figured they might milk this situation for some sort of “Therapy with Evelyn and Chad” show on VH1. I thought they’d try to reconcile and get other checks from it but I was wrong. Seems they’re really through. And they didn’t gain much from it. Womp.
So yeah, these two are having the worst week ever. Especially when you add the fact that Evelyn’s brother-in-law, Anthony Ochoa, died this week. He’s the guy who walked her down the aisle on July 4th. When I read that on Miss Jia’s site, I got the sads. That’s so unfortunate. Poor Ev.
Look out for another post from me. It’s probably gonna be a sternly-worded letter to these two. I still have words.
Anywho, whatcha think of this saga?