TV

I Got Questions About Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Reunion Part I

Last night was the reunion special of the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta crew and it was hosted by Mona Scott-Young, the producer with the gift to produce TV’s most ratchet castmembers since whoever did Flava of Love (Holy Run-on Sentence, Batman!).

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta

Anywho, I got questions.

* Why was Joseline rocking a masquerade mask? Lemme find out she was starring in Phantom of the Hoodrat and none of us knew.

* Could it be that body con dresses are finally leaving us??? COULD IT BE? I don’t think any of the women had on a bandage dress. Y’all better LOOK AT GAWD and thank him that the fake Herve Legers are going away!

* Did Kirk go to K&G and get him a Steve Harvey suit at the semi-annual sale? He was in the audience looking casket sharp DINNAMUG!

* Why did they ask Karlie how old she was and she told us everything but her age? She almost listed her resume and her shoe size. Ma’am, we just wanted to know how many rings are on your tree stump. We ain’t ask for ALL’AT!

LHHATL tweet

* Why did I FALL OUT when K. Michelle called Karlie an “old ass Harriet Tubman?” Chile, I just wanted to lay on the floor and wade in the water! I cackled!

* How the hell did all those chicks sit on that stage and say they hadn’t gotten work done? In fact, Karlie is the only one, and she only admitted to getting her boobs done. So all of y’all with booties that look like volleyballs grew those naturally? THE DEVIL IS A LAH AND THE TRUTH AIN’T IN HIM, LAWD!

* How did Joseline come up with the name Shenelica Bettencourt as her stripper name? She prolly took the name of her 1st dog and the street she lived on.

* Why did Joseline say she’s had like 100 mugshots with no shame? Your life will not be an Instagram account of arrests. Please do better henceforth, ma’am.

* Why did I get my LIFE when Funky Dineva stood up and READ Karlie for filth? His wig was LAIDT like carpet! YES!

* Why was Rasheeda trying to fight K.Michelle over this whole fact that she said Memphitz beat her? Rasheeda tryna fight for who’s honor? Who told her she was the Mulan of the hood? Ma’am, have a seat. She’s tryna go to war for Memphitz. Meanwhile, her hubby got as much passion as a broken garden hoe. She has her focus on the wrong thing.

Sipping Tea Colbert Stewart gif

* Why hasn’t VH1 caught on yet that we need subtitles for Lil Scrappy EVERY TIME he speaks? Dude talks like he chews on cotton balls and I have to be super focuses to even catch what 3 words in a row means. They could help us with that struggle.

* Why was Stevie J acting like Scrappy didn’t put them paws on him? He’s the dude who’ll get beat up, end up with a black eye and say how he hurt someone’s fist with his face. WOMP.

* Who told Momma Dee to get up there talmbout “When you’re the Queen and you have the prince and your throne has been violated…” Ma’am, stop pontificating. Just stop.

* Why am I SO over Mimi and her fake toughness? She stays yelling at Stevie J and saying 14 “bitches” in one sentence but then she still messes with his squirrel face-having self. Losing.

* Why was Mimi talmbout we shouldn’t judge her? Ma’am, you’re on a REALITY TV show living your life out on TV and you think we won’t give you a side-eye for basically becoming the side chick in your love triangle. Girl sit down.

LHHATL tweet

* Why did Joseline call herself a woman of God? I fully expected thunder fire to come down on that stage at that moment! You are many things, Joseline but that ain’t the first.

* In spite of all that, why do I like Joseline more than Mimi now though? I’m lowkey here for Joseline Hernandez and her foolishness. Meanwhile, all I can do is shake my head at Mimi and wish she’d just take her pretty elsewhere that doesn’t concern Stevie J.

I’m looking forward to part II of this reunion, which will include the beast with no neck, Benzino and Kirk the unexcited robot. I’m kinda sad this show is about to end though. My body ISN’T ready. My ratchet will be unfulfilled.

I do it for the people, Kathryn. :-D

Did y’all watch last night’s show? Whatcha think?

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14 Comments

  1. Ace
    August 28, 2012 at 11:32 am — Reply

    Joseline? A Woman of God?
    She must have been talmbout the ancient Greek Gods or something. Because I know Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammad or any other God of any major religions are not sponsors of her buffoonery.

  2. emti
    August 28, 2012 at 11:35 am — Reply

    When K. Michelle said she got her bootie from Jiffy cornbread I swore lightning was about to strike. She couldn’t even say it with a straight face.

    I really am going to miss this show *tears*

  3. whatupdoe
    August 28, 2012 at 11:39 am — Reply

    That show was a hot. ghetto. mess. I have never thrown more side-eyes in an hour than I did last night. Some things I took away from it:

    – Joseline lying about her ass not being done. She admitted her breasts and teeth but you have to be blind not to know that #DatAss is 100% artificial.

    – Karlie is old as dirt. She wouldn’t even mention her daughter’s age. Talking bout she aint want her daughter to face that in school. I’m pretty sure lil Redd’s college classmates already know. (And rumor is that she had a baby with Katt Williams…)

    – Stevie J seems like an abuser or something. “I ain’t letting her go” came off more basement killer than life-long lover.

    – It’s obvious that K. Michelle got under Rasheeda’s skin when she wanted to get physical. Methinks Kirk the brown M&M called Rasheeda out about how she was disrespecting him.

    – Momma Dee is hilarious. And she earned the Side-eye Silver Medal for that queen bit (Gold, of course, went to Joseline’s woman of God bit).

    That’s it. Can’t wait for the sequel next week.

    • LadyLark
      August 29, 2012 at 1:37 am — Reply

      Girrrl, ew to that Kat Williams tid bit. Whyforcome? Karlie is clearly on the wrong side of upright in this life for such to happen to her grown chile.

      I guess they all went to the school of making bad decisions. Mimi talks like she’s ready for another 15yrs w/Steevie and I’m just glad Rasheeda got pulled away, K.razy don’t play.

      & What’s wrong with being forty and why won’t burgundy (old red) just say it? I’m thirty and look it, but karlie looks older than my mom who’s 49. O,O How she’s K’s age who’s younger than me is just ignant.

      PS: Why did Mona give a long-winded disclaimer about not embarrassing the black community and then…embarrass the black community? But I sure was rotflmbo!

    • Elle
      August 31, 2012 at 12:14 pm — Reply

      “Kirk the brown M&M.” ….Let me just lay here for a minute.

  4. Kesha.I
    August 28, 2012 at 11:51 am — Reply

    Hahaha..I agree with u 100%. I am also a Joseline Hernandez (in my Joseline Hernandez voice..) fan. I love how real and transparent she is with her thoughts feelings etc, I can respect that more than Mimis’ fake, woe is me a@@. I am def going to miss the is show in the Rachetpiece Theater line up..I am looking forward to TI and Tiny as well BBW Miami…not however looking forward to Crissy and Mr.Jones…ugh.over it..
    I also died when I saw funky dineva…she a mess..I heard about her through my fav youtube show The Skorpion Show, whom I know will have some great commentary on this rachetness!!

  5. Tia
    August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm — Reply

    I always look forward to you LHHATL commentary. Ever since Joseline slapped Stevie up in therapy, I have been a fan. It’s not about heaux winning, but I can appreciate someone who acknowledges their flaws and unapologetic about who they are. She accepts Stevie for who he is and is very vocal about what her intent is with Stevie. Is she still a pathetic broken women Mimi on the other hand is in complete denial, looks foolish and a bit dim witted, so yes Joseline appears to be the winner of this race.

    As for Karlie, to not admit her age is a glaring indication that she is ashamed and she should just embrace it because she looks good. The more she dodges the question the more Harriet Tubman jokes will be hurled. Is she is concerned that telling her age will somehow affect her career, fears are misdirected. As a bigger concerns should be her uncoordinated two steps dance moves and tired lyrics about designer labels.

    • LadyLark
      August 29, 2012 at 1:44 am — Reply

      I love luvvies wrap-ups of LHHATL too.

      I personally hope that all of this WAS scripted because I’ve never seen a bigger (older) bird than Karlie or more ratchetry and scathing racial indictments than the Maury show…until now.

      Thanks luvvie, I cracked-up twice! (The show and then the afterparty here.)

  6. Shannon
    August 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm — Reply

    when Funky Dineva called out that lackluster two-step Karlie did on the show I almost caught the asthma…laughed so hard I could not breath! Then Karlie said she didn’t want to mention her child because she didn’t want her to deal with getting picked on at school and I wondered “is bullying/picking still a problem at junior college? the learning annex? traffic school?” I know her kid’s not in High/middle school.

    • LadyLark
      August 29, 2012 at 1:47 am — Reply

      BWAH!
      Well she can proudly deny her mother (being that she doesn’t look a whole lot like her) when she’s up to her own embarrassing antics.

  7. Destinee
    August 28, 2012 at 8:15 pm — Reply

    Luvvie u a fool and I agree with everything except Scrappy putting them paws on Stevie. Scrappy just frontin to me cuz his mouth was full of blood and Stevie only had a couple scratches on his face…prob frm falling in the bushes. Any fight I’ve ever seen…if only one person bleeding…that’s the one who lost! Anywho, that reunion was def ratchet central as expected. Tha gay dude def did Karlie and I loved every min of it. Rasheeda needs to focus on her career no one cares abt and her husband with the personality of a toothpick instead of worrying about k.Michelle. She making herself look suspect. Maam u have a husband so why are u ready to go to war over ANOTHER woman’s husband? K.Michelle def gets tha crown cuz she shamelessly roasted Karlie and Rasheeda effortlessly. Ima need Mimi to get a clue abs stop acting like she didn’t make an ass outta herself on the show. How u go from the girlfriend to the side chick smh maam u lost. And I wish she would stop bringing up that 15 yrs crap like doesn’t she realize that makes her look worse? And why did they ever give Jim Jones a show. I’ll pass on that one.

    • LadyLark
      August 29, 2012 at 1:56 am — Reply

      Yeah girl, I don’t wanna see it unless Chrissy (NOT Mrs. Jones) Lampkin is beating up someone else (and shaming our community as well). How’s she going to top the ignorance of LHHATL or what would’ve been that of EV&OCHO? In these last and trying recessionary times, I need as many laughs as I can get. :-)

      On a more serious note: VH1, shed media and Mona Scott have the power to actually get black people on television, by the numbers, and this is what we get… SMH

  8. August 28, 2012 at 8:50 pm — Reply

    HILARIOUS comments! Aptly put..

    I so like Joceline more than Mimi..I was done after the 4th self-righteous rant. Like…Siddown sweets. It’s already clear to the world that you’re still messing with him.

    You know, I think Joceline could actually be an amazing woman of God. Even with her (very comical) antics, there’s something about her.

  9. Olivia Olivia
    August 30, 2012 at 1:49 pm — Reply

    I love Joseline! She is pure unadulterated bad behaviour and it’s ENTERTAINING! She trashy and she owns it. Give me maaawwww!

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