Last Night’s Love and Hip Hop ATL Was 50 Shades of Ratchet

[ 14 ] August 14, 2012 |

This episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta kicks off where it left off last week, in the therapists’ office, while Joseline was putting them paws on Stevie.

Why did it take 5 men to pull Joseline off Stevie? And sharrap to everyone who just said “Because she’s a man.” LOL you ain’t right (nor might you be wrong but I’ma leave that be). And then they showed Steebie walking the shoulder of the road to get away because he ain’t got no license (which some speculate that it’s because he owes child support). Seriously. HA!

Why was Mimi saying she’s an asshole for believing Stevie? Didn’t she mean “dummy” instead? That’s more accurate. She’s become the sidechick in the lust triangle, and is therefore losing.

Why is Scrappy still lying to Erica that Shay is just his BFF? And then in the confessional, he’s talmbout how he can be with anyone he pleases. Then tell her that, Punk! Ol’ yuckmouth Pinocchio. As he weaves lies, Erica begins to cry and he gets all touched, talmbout how he really sees that she cares now. Scrappy, WHY DOES ERICA HAVE TO CRY FOR YOU TO KNOW SHE LOVES YOU??? Sir, the point of love is not to make your partner cry. Ugh.

Why do people keep going to Benzino for relationship advice? Joseline goes to his crib to look for Stevie and doesn’t find him so she settles for hearing terrible advice and bad logic from ‘Zino. As she talks about her frustrations, he asks “Do yall make love or do yall have sex? There’s a difference.” What’s that gotta do with the price of tea in China??? Her response was:

Joseline gif

I have NO clue “every sex” means but it sounds dangerous. (-__-)

Why does Scrappy go to Momma Dee for ANY advice? All she does is rile him up unnecessarily and tell him to go find other women to freak. This is what happens when your mama is APimpNamedMommaDee. Scrappy’s talmbout how he might give Erica another chance and she isn’t trying to hear it. “She IS a bitch. B-I-C-T-H. In that order.” Wait… what??? Umm it ain’t spelled IN THAT ORDER, ma’am. She said it with such conviction that I had to count on my fingers and consult a dictionary to make sure. What is it with the mamas of our reality TV folks who can’t spell for nothing? If she comes out with a tshirt line called BICTH, I’ma throw a hissy fit.

BICTH Momma Dee

Why are Benzino and Karlie always arguing? And their arguments be so empty and shallow that I spend the whole time perplexed about what they’re mad about.  A lot of it revolves around Karlie phantom career, which no one but them knows or cares about.

How cute is it that Joseline and Karlie are now amigos? They e’em went rock-climbing and errthang. Yes, they’re both trifling but y’all see them tryna build a friendship? Sure, it’s based on the fact that they’re both with 2 despicable men most women won’t wanna touch with a 10-foot pole but it’s adorabo. Anywho, Joseline gives Karlie advice on how to play these men “like they play us” and they bond over the fact that they’re both on Team Bad Decisions. Aaawwww. O_O

Why is Kirk so unenthused about life? Rasheeda tells him that she decided not to be go with Deb Antney and that she’d like to keep her and Kirk a team in the music thing. She wants their love to remain solid so she wants to stand by him. And then she tells him she wants them to renew their vows since they’ve been married for 12 years. All Kirk could muster was a shrug and suck of his drink through a straw. He must see life through an ugly Instagram filter or something. He’s so bland.

Did Benzino refer to Stevie as “sleazy?” He says he needs to relax so he calls his boy “Sleazy” for a boys’ night out at the strip club. And Stevie was that boy. Zino talmbout “I don’t know what it is but strip clubs give me clarity.” Sir, that ain’t clarity. Blood just rushed away from your brain. And then as one of the strippers slid down the pole upside down and finished her set, Benzino talmbout “God bless you” and made it rain singles on her. That’s gotta be blasphemy.

Why won’t Mimi just stop being played? Like a gahtdamb fiddle. Benzino goes to meet her at a car wash and tells her to stop barking at Stevie and deal with the situation with kindness. HOW ABOUT YOU TELL YOUR BOY TO STOP USING HIS PEEN LIKE A GROUPON DEAL OF THE DAY??? But nawl. It gets worse. He accidentally calls Mimi “Joseline” and I almost fainted. Mimi, pack your dereon duffle and leave town. You are OFFICIALLY the mistress in this situation. Just pick up the rest of your dignity and wrap it in a red and white polka dot scarf, tie it around a stick and leave cuz… NAWL.

Why is Rasheeda such a bad friend? Her and Erica go to watch K.Michelle do a speech in front of teenage girls about her experience with domestic violence and she’s all uncomfortable. Turns out that K.Michelle’s ex is Memphitz, who is friends with Rasheeda. It’s clear how painful it was for her to talk about it, and afterwards, the 2 ladies sit down to talk about it and Rasheeda says “Maybe that’s not something he did to you.”

Nicki Minaj blink gif

Oh girl WUT??? No she didn’t just tell that hurting woman that. What nerve??? When a woman says she’s been hurt, the 1st thing shouldn’t be proving her WRONG. I don’t like that women have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt in the court of law AND to loved ones that they’ve been hurt. It’s a problem. This victim-blaming thing we do is so counterproductive. It’s why we feel shame coming forward about how people have hurt us.

I could go on about this but Rasheeda was a terrible friend to K. Michelle and I’m disappointed.

Basically.

Anywho, next week is the season finale of Love & Hip Hop ATL and I’m a bit sad. I don’t want them to go. I’m addicted to their form of ratchet. *cries*

Did y’all watch this week? Who is the reigning President of Team Bad Decisions on this show?

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Comments (14)

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  1. Leeyah D says:

    Well you know that Rasheeda was trying to build a friendship with K. Michelle, so they are reality tv friends and not in real life. And Erica only whimpered she did not have any tears at all. Most survivors of domestic violence, and this is speaking as an advocate of dv, do not report the abuse, sometimes ever. So just because she did not file a police report does not mean it did not happen. I do wish she gets therapy for that situation because she is still letting this man control her life. I am by no means saying she needs to get over it but she needs therapy so she can move on and not continue to let this man abuse her mentally–and in that order.

  2. Tiffany says:

    “What is it with the mamas of our reality TV folks who can’t spell for nothing?”

    Girl, without these non-spelling, ratchet @$$ mamas these reality tv shows would not exist.

    Second, when K Michelle started crying and screaming, “no one saved me…” I almost started crying. No way you can believe she is lying after seeing that.

    • ddh336 says:

      I concur 100%!! I believe K Michelle and am really disappointed in Rasheeda’s comment. That was definately a record scratch moment.

  3. Tracy says:

    Lolololol @ “Dereon Duffle”. I missed last night’s episode, but this recap just summed it up. Thanks Luvvie!

  4. Jenna says:

    I fell out at, “He must see life through an ugly Instagram filter or something.” THAT was some funny ish!!! And honestly, I am not ready for a season finale either.

  5. LadyLark says:

    I personally could stand to watch some more of K.Michelle’s ghetto ratchetness if it means I can hear her sing live like every week and see how she handles her own heart in the future w/ regard to giving old foes (and clearly new ones) your power.

  6. LadyLark says:

    Further I’m a bit shocked that lil Rasheeda didn’t get snatched for looking so blank, cold and bored (just like her hubby) when K cried out her guts over what happened. K’s a strong woman being the lone ranger when not many really know/show/care. But I believe her. Memphitz had the gall to drag God’s name all in it talmbout how he swear on Jehovah all after talmbout how he MADE her. Strike him lord. Please.

  7. Jennifer says:

    I’m not here for Ben Gay and his relationship advice. Mimi is being ridiculously nice (read: stupid) where Steebie is concerned and I just don’t get why she’s even still pursuing this with him. I could live my whole life without ever seeing Ben Gay and Charlie Horse interact and I would die a happy woman. And Rasheeda? Girllllll…..have a seat. It is people like her that make women not want to tell anyone when abuse happens to them. What the hell does her friendship with Toya and Like Ike have to do with anything? She don’t look like she run with too many classy people so is it really a stretch that someone she knows uses women for punching bags? Oh and Mama Dee gonna start her own line of t-shirts reading “B.I.C.T.H. and in that ORDER!” just as the foolish predecessors that came before her (Mama Jones, Evelyn, etc).

  8. Marsha S. Haneiph says:

    I only know about this show because of these posts but just had to say that Nicki Minaj is frightening. It’s like those lashes are trying to hypnotise or something. Lawd.

  9. My question is, how u a pimp and can’t spell Bitch right?

  10. Yadi says:

    I live for your recaps and your recaps alone!

  11. LadyTee16 says:

    Luvvie…thank you for watching this ratchet so I don’t have too.

  12. moosie says:

    Okay…erica you been with scappy so long how you not know about this “bestfriend”..? Mimi,when did you become the sideline and joseline the man chic…cause the way she set it on him…yup…andddddddd how is mimi allowing him to spend so much time with this chic…benzino and charlie red…flop…stop it…

  13. AYANA says:

    I MUST stop reading your LHHATL recaps at work. Otherwise I will end up unemployed!!!

    Personal Fav-
    ”She IS a bitch. B-I-C-T-H. In that order.” Wait… what??? Umm it ain’t spelled IN THAT ORDER, ma’am. She said it with such conviction that I had to count on my fingers and consult a dictionary to make sure. What is it with the mamas of our reality TV folks who can’t spell for nothing? If she comes out with a tshirt line called BICTH, I’ma throw a hissy fit.

    DEAD_____________________

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