Why Am I Here for Joseline Now? My Love and Hip Hop ATL Recap
LAWD, Love and Hip Hop ATL somehow ups its’ ratchetness quotient EVERY week. That takes skill from a show whose first three episodes included abortions and beatings. Anywho, last night’s ep gave me what I needed.
Why is Mimi always talking tough to Stevie but her actions never back it up? While on a “family outing” to the park, Mimi barks at Steebie for the umpteenth time but negates all of that quickly. He opens his raggelly mouth to say he wants Joseline to join them in therapy, and her GOOFASS says she’ll think about it. You want your side chick to come to counseling with your baby mama??? iCan’t.
Why does Karlie feel like she needs Joseline’s permission to work with Stevie? She invites Joseline out and is shocked when RihaNAWL gives her the green light to work with him since she’s no longer tied to his squirrel face. The subject turns to Karlie being with Benzino, and Joseline catches her blushing and accuses her of being in love with him. Lawd…
Why does Scrappy talk like he’s perpetually chewing on marshmallows? Ew. Anywho, Shay joins him in the studio while rocking her best Rainbow Romper and doing a booty twerk to his trap music when Rasheeda arrives. As Buckey walks out, she kisses Scrappy in the yuckmouth and ‘Sheeda realizes she’s Scrappy’s new dip. When she calls him out on his crap and says Erica was crying about him, it shocks him. Apparently, Erica never cried in front of him to show him it was real. Aawww hood affection rules are so different.
Why is Karlie having a promotional photoshoot when she has nothing to promote? Seems that Benzino set it up and she says “It’s hard for a man to help a woman w/ her career 100%.” WHAT CAREER, MA’AM??? Tryna book Stevie J for studio time is NOT a “career” but I digress. She thanks him by giving him one of those BFF half puzzle piece necklaces from Claire’s that we all gave our BFFs in 8th grade. O_O Meanwhile, Benzino’s on screen looking like he has morning breath at 5pm. No one is here for that.
Why am I here for Erica’s thug tears? After a night at Scrappy’s showcase of hollering unintelligible words to mediocre beats, K.Michelle meets up with Erica to give her tea on the Shay-Scrappy situation. She had no clue and is understandably hurt that the tatted up trollop she had a baby with has moved on to another woman without telling her. Erica says she’s done and I truly hope so because Scrappy is not about that life.
Why does Mimi always think her stupid choices with Stevie are wins? She talks to Ariane about going to therapy with Stevie and Joseline. Ariane pulls her logical wig and asks her why and Mimi talmbout she’s trying to keep her family together. MA’AM, what family are you tryna keep together??? Is it the one that includes the guy who bought you a house in the suburbs so you won’t be able to get to him easily? The one with the guy who got RihanNAWL pregnant? Oh. (-__-) Then she says therapy will be good because “everything will come out.” Girl…
Why did I keep calling Mimi’s brother Obadele Shakur? Probably because I’m a jerk and it amused me. But Mimi and her afrocentric brother (and his dashiki) take their mother’s ashes to throw in water because those were her last wishes before she died 10 years ago. It was sweet to see her pay respect to a mother who abandoned her when she was 13 years old to practice Scientology. The moral of this story is that Scientology is the enemy.
Why is Benzino getting Karlie jewelry when they’ve known each other for 2.5 days? Scrappy has worn draws for more consecutive days than the length of Benzino and Karlie’s relationship and this fool is thinking bout buying her a ring. Team bad decisions sponsors this show.
Why did I not realize that the woman with bass in her voice and the blond Dumb n Dumber haircut was Waka Flocka’s mama until folks told me? Waka got his eyes from Deb Antney for sure. Take this as you wish. When she started hollering at Rasheeda’s husband, I wanted to give her my last piece of cornbread, lest she come at me next. She is that intimidating. It was a bit bogus that Rasheeda just sat there as her hubby was verbally castrated for not having her career in better shape. Kirk’s only retort was that she “sells more records today than she ever has in her career.” So she used to sell 100, now she sells 150? Nice. O__O But I might not argue with a woman who looks like she could eat Momma Dee up for breakfast either. ALL puns intended. Kirk needs to say stuff with his chest, not his wrist. Maybe then, he’d be taken more serious.
Why am I now a Joseline fan? The therapy session begins and Stevie is smugly sitting there while Mimi gives him her meaningless evil eye. Dr. Jeff starts asking questions and as Joseline answers, Stevie wipes sweat off her nose with a tissue. If Mimi wondered if he gave ANY damb about her feelings, she got a very strong answer there again. Then Mimi tells Joseline that her and Stevie are living together again. The moment Stevie confirmed it, Joseline PUT THEM PAWS ON HIM!!!
PUT. THEM. PAWS. ON. HIM. She went Mike Tyson on Stevie and it took like 4 security men to pull her off him. Just like that, I AM HERE FOR JOSELINE HERNANDEZ, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
I was rooting for Mimi before but how she gon win when she ain’t right within? She can’t so I’m kinda here for Joseline now. Sidechicks are winning in 2012.
Did y’all watch this ep? Are you also a Joseline fan now?
Note: my recaps will be appearing here only henceforth so govern your read accordingly