Dear Shirley, Woman to Woman, Don’t Be Calling Barbara’s House Like That!
I was listening to Shirley Brown’s Woman to Woman, and I was just like “You know what? Shirley was TRIPPING.” So I decided to write her a sternly-worded letter.
In case you’ont know what song I’m talmbout, see below:
“Hey Barbara, this is Shirley. You might not know who I am…”
Dear Shirley,
First of all, just because you were being nosy and going through YOUR man’s pockets don’t mean for you to be making errant phonecalls all willy nilly to whoever you found info on in there.
And yes, you found her name and number in his pockets but you jumping to conclusions talmbout the man she’s in love with. You’ont e’em know Barbara’s life like that! You’ont know her from a can of paint. She coulda been helping him do his taxes or something. She coulda been his piano teacher! Or MAYBE she’s the person who does his dry cleaning. YOU DON’T KNOW BARBARA’s LIFE, MA’AM!!!
Going from 0-60 with no proof. And then gon talk about it’s only fair. What’s FAIR is if you’ont call random people checking up on your boo’s activities, illicit or otherwise!
Furthermore, you up there talmbout he’s yours from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. Lemme find out you’re God’s personal assistant. How do you own a grown ass man? Did you pay for him? SHOW ME RECEIPTS! Yes, you pay his car note and buy his clothes. But all that proves is that he’s a gold-digger and you’re his sugar mama. Shirley, you’re losing girl. What has he done for you lately? Lowkey, he’s playing you like a cello in the arms of Yo-Yo Ma.
You over here paying for his everything and then he MIGHT be stepping out. And you wanna call the woman he MIGHT be cheating with talmbout you wanna keep him. It sounds to me like he ain’t worth the lint in Rick Ross’ belly button. He might not be worth a loc off Lil Wayne’s head. But you sitting up here calling Barbara on some “woman to woman” stuff asking her to understand that he’s your man, not hers. WOMP!
Girl, listen to me. Drop ol’ boy. Not e’em because he might be cheating but because he seems about as useful as a broken butter knife. Besides, if he wants to be sleeping with Barbara or anybody else for that matter then he’s not e’em worth it. He takes all your efforts for granted.
You better put on your “F*ck him, girl” dress and go drop it like it’s hot at a club. Find you a new boo!
And as for you, Barbara. I hope you’re not being a side chick. That’s not cute. Get your own man, not Shirley’s leftovers.
Ennehweighs, girl. CALL ME!
LuvBug
Oh and…
LMAO!
Whatcha’ll gotta say to Shirley?
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No.words. LOL
I have often thought precisely these things about Shirley thirsty ass.
HAHAHA!!!! You are a fool who needs things to do. I can FedEx some papers for you to grade.
lmao
Oh and that .gif?!?!?! Yeah, you are borderline insane. Love you lots though!
That .gif is the truth! I fall out EVERY time I look at it…Luvvie, Luvvie, Luvvie…
the fact that you had the song playing while i read the blogpost was PERFECT. perhaps all your blogposts should have appropriate accompaniments.
This song was playing on the radio the other day and I thought the same thing! There are so many things wrong with the song and Miss Shirley comes out losing if she is bank rolling a grown ass man AND he’s stepping out?
Sounds like some desperate stuff to me…
Maya Angelou is performing “Still I rise” at my funeral because you just killed me with that!!
I always gave Shirley a side eye everytime I heard that line about her paying for everything that man owned lol
LMAO!! One day I’ll tell you what was said between the two.
Ah, the 70s. The music was great even with the trifling message.
This conversation could have easily been avoided with a great invention…caller id.
“Lowkey, he’s playing you like a cello in the arms of Yo-Yo Ma.” This ENDED ME TONIGHT!!!!!! LOL Shirley got that wig snatched. She didn’t go to Barbara house because she knew she would come to the door with a fresh coat of Vaseline!
Probably woulda got cut… going 0-60 with no proof.
HELLO!!!! I’ve always hated this song, and if I have to call up women my so-called “man” is sleeping around with, then I really need to get a new hobby. And a new man.
Great reply to Shirley and her foolishness… That cat filing her nails is a mess lol
@SanTara, LOL LOL. No way!!!!
@Luvvie…I don’t even know, DEAD!!!!!
Singing… “She’s got papers…..”
Ya’ll don’t understand. She loveded him. (LOL)
This post brought me much life, then slayed me with the gif!!!! Luvvie, I swahtahgawd I luh yuh, guh! <3 LOL
even as a little girl that song always got an epic side-eye from me…
well said, Luvvie!!
Thank you!!! I H.A.T.E. that song. Shirley says he does NOTHING for her and then she finds another woman’s number in his pockets. O_o Another song that if you actually listen to the words will make you go, “Wait. What??” is “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”. H.A.T.E I.T.
YES!!! And talking about old school stalker thirsty ass relationship songs, what about I Put a Spell on You…what kind of sh*t is that?!??
I can always count on your posts to make me laugh!
Has anyone ever heard the great modern version, “You Ain’t Woman Enough to Take My Man?” It’s an updated version mentioning some chick named Yolanda and *69-ing and such. Shirley is truly a calling up side chick stan…
Yeah, she was doing far too much. Searching pockets in the first place is grounds for problems. What she shoulda done. Is write the name and number down elsewhere, then a week or so later, while yall are all smiled up chillin, talking all private, say “Speaking of which, have you seen that Interview Beyonce did with Barabara… Barabara… What’s her last name… *pause… wait for it* Walters, yeah thats it. Did you see that interview?” See what his face does!!! You’ll know boo. You’ll know.
^THIS! bwahahahahahahahaha!
I thought I made my transition after reading the article but you have truly done me in! LMAO
How is Shirley going to accuse Barbara of being in love with a man who she clearly just gave her number to? Why else would he still have the paper in his pocket?
You might want to also mention that song “He’s Mine,” by MoKenStef. The ultimate example of desperation.