Dear Wyclef Jean, You are 50 Shades of Trifling for this Lauryn Thing
Lauryn Hill’s name won’t stop coming up lately and it hasn’t been for anything music-related, which is a shame. Wyclef Jean is releasing his autobiography, and folks got a sneak peek at it and got some quotables. One of the things he addresses is his deep affair with Lauryn Hill, which led to the eventual breakup of the Fugees. And then the MARRIED Wyclef thought he was the dad to Lauryn’s first kid, Zion. And then he found out he wasn’t. And then he was salty about it.
So he has earned this sternly-worded letter.
Dear Wyclef,
So about this autobiography you’re coming out with. I wanna know who encouraged it and figured the public would give a damb. No shade (which really means all of the shade), Clef, but I doubt there’s a huge demand for a book about your life. Unless it’s ALL about Lauryn, of course, which is what this publicity blitz on your book has been all about.
Your book is called Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story but to be honest, the only thing that makes me want to read it is the chapter on you and Lauryn’s love affair. THAT IS ALL. However, since the Salon has posted a long excerpt of that, I don’t even need to. WIN. You should have just called the book Hoe-meo and Juliet: The Wyclef and Lauryn Saga and it might be a best-seller.
First, I want to thank you for ONE thing. And that is the song “Ex-factor” by Lauryn. Your aint-shitness spurred her to write that awesome song, and almost 15 years later, we still get LIFE from it. So you get kudos for being the shady muse there. But besides that, I wanted to let you know that there’s a seat somewhere waiting for your occupation.
As I read the piece on Salon.com, so many things hit me. But most of all is the fact that you’re REALLY not about that life. You had this deep ‘lationship with Lauryn, while talmbout how much you love your girl, Claudinette. Before you even got joined in wedded glory, you and Lau’n were doing the Southside Slippery Slide and being each others’ muses and all that other stuff that woulda been cute if you weren’t a taken man. BUT you still managed to get married. AND LAURYN WAS THERE. Talmbout:
“My father married Claudinette and me in his church and Lauryn was there at the ceremony, the reception, all of it — and that was definitely heavy. Lauryn respected the day so there was no confrontation because I’d told her that I’d made up my mind and that was it. Of course later, when we were on the road again, I fell back into indulging myself with her.”
SCANDAL! So your mistress was at your wedding. Doing what, might I ask? Sir! I SAY SIR. WORD? That’s what you were on? Talk about some ginormous balls. And I’m looking at Ms. Hill too sideways for accepting the invitation to your wedding. Both of you are 50 shades of trifling for this. 50 WHOLE SHADES OF TRIFLING. And then y’all kept getting it in. WOMPPP!
And then, this piece on the Grio mentions how you thought Lauryn’s first baby, Zion was yours. And finding out he wasn’t meant “she could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.” Ummm… you damb infidel. Your love spell shouldn’t have had a chance to be broken because it shouldn’t have been nothing but a Victoria’s Secret body spray to begin with! Chile, iCan’t.
Like many women, Lauryn makes terrible decisions on the men she gives her heart to. I’ve already written her a letter talmbout how Rohan ain’t worth a penny with a hole in it. And her attraction to men who aren’t technically single is something worth exploring on Dr. Drew’s couch on VH1 but that’s for another day.
But you, Mr. Jean. You’re also proof of her bad decision-making, and to note it all in a book in this matter-of-fact way… LAWD.
And your wife still stands by you today. I ain’t in nobody’s marriage bed but girl, ok. Wonders shall never cease.
I’m not e’em gon talk about how I don’t understand Lauryn’s huge attraction to your shaky-voiced self. MMHMMM. And I’m still shading you for that whole Yele Haiti debacle but that’s besides the point.
But I do wanna know something. Wyclef, how you gon win when you ain’t right within?
Yours in extreme side-eyedom,
LuvBug
What do y’all think of this Wyclef foolishness? And whatchu think of Lauryn now?
Category: Famous folks, Letter
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Your title pretty much sums up my feelings about this.
Mostly I feel terrible for all these relatively young children, (Lauryn has 6, I’m not sure how many Wyclef & Claudinette have) who are having their family bidness put out on front street.
I wish he would have just stuck to music (leaving charity work to professionals) and let people connect the dots about this ancient history.
Ditto
U know for better or worse Wyclef is writing about real life. its tragic and its wrong in some cases but its also real and heart felt and told beautifully. Outside with you and your neo feminist bleeding heart crap…This blog was poop
Wyclef, is that you??? I want my $10 back that I donated!!! PRONTO!
DEAD!!!!!!
buaahahaha. Get ‘em!!
lmao
*Gone up to yonder*
TOD: 12:35 pm
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.. I had to hold on real tight to keep this pop in my mouth..Dead!
Wyclef is this why we are here? To bring relevance to our lives by bringing up past secrets? It could be so simple but you just had to make it hard, huh? It’s hard out there for failed Haitian presidential candidates I guess. This is not the reciprocity Lauryn was asking for. Unless of course some of those book sales are going to help Ms L Boogie pay off some of her tax debts. Otherwise, you and Usher can call Iyanla and fix your lives. Own your ish without bringing other people’s names in it.
I’m certainly not here for Clef and his airing of ancient tea….I am however here and getting my ever-loving life from that vintage Lauryn photo…My Lord that woman was STUNNING-the wig, the beat face, the blouse-PERFECTION!
OMG! I thought I was the only one loving Lauryn’s bowl cut wig to the fullest. That makeup, that big ass clown bow shirt, AND that wig just works for her. Like the supreme Supreme girl trying (and successfully) making a come back.
You pretty much summed up my feelings on this mess! I rolled my eyes so hard in my car listening to this on the radio, I damn near Lindsay Lohan’d someone….Someone please call 911 for this negro’s feelings….
Haa haa ha at calling 911!!!!!! Lawd!
As I tweeted: So, basically, Wyclef ain’t shit, Lauryn ain’t shit, and Pras is. . . well, Pras.
didn’t Pras say Haiti was better under Baby Doc? HE AIN’T SHIT NEITHER!
*falls out of chair* *watches skid row on netflix and weeps for haiti*
Luvvie you are sooo mad!
Claudinette should be the most mad here, he put all her kindness out there for the world to now look at her sideways.
This letter is the truth!!!
What is it with men who think that you should be monogomous with you while they go out hoe-baggin’? So it’s a problem that her son had a different Dad? Is that the whole “But you don’t get a ninja back like that” mentality?
Lauryn was TACKY and scandalous for going to the wedding. Unforgivable. Straight up.
Ultimately, whoever you’re in a relationship is the person that should be held most responsible for infedility, but I am not from that “girl, I ain’t have no commitment to you” clan. I hate….HATE when women KNOW a man is very taken and continue to sleep with/get at him. Take it from a woman who is about to divorce, it is hard enough being in a relationship without having a WOMAN as a distraction to the mix. Why not respect relationships. I’m sure Lauryn wouldn’t want someone sleeping with her husband, so why do it to someone else. There are other FINE @$# men in the sea. I don’t even know what she saw in Wyclef. All I can say is he must have that hammer to make her keep on like she did, give us that sad love song, and then still never be the same afterward…
*men who think you should be monogomous with them*
My fault…didn’t pre-read…
I agree, wholeheartedly, that the person in the relationship is most responsible, but why can’t everyone else ALSO be a decent, moral human being??? Ithat too much to ask? It’s starting to seem like it IS too much to ask.
” Your love spell shouldn’t have had a chance to be broken because it shouldn’t have been nothing but a Victoria’s Secret body spray to begin with! Chile, iCan’t.”
If loving this blog is wrong I don’t want to be right! *tosses my bottle of Love Spell spray in the garbage where all copies of his book belong*
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
This article is F*ckin genius! Two thumbs way up!!
Well said, Luuvie. Wyclef need a whack with his own book upside the head. Dude is lame
Oh the things “we” do to stay relevant … couldn’t he have just been a judge on American Idol?!?
LMAO
Oh snap!
I can no longer read this blog at work. I slid out of my chair and onto the floor, weeping silently under my desk after reading this.
I need Wyclef to be gone ’til NEXT November so he can take some time to think about his ENTIRE life, starting at birth! He took advantage of a woman who has emotional, mental, and self-esteem issues (I’m sure he knew YEARS before the public did). Then has the nerve to exploit the story for gas money! And he probably won’t give L-Boogie a DIME to make a down payment on an installment payment on her back taxes and fees! Boy, have a seat in a raggedy porch chair with a lose spring!
“For Gas Money ” LMAO! That’s a damn shame.
*And he probably won’t give L-Boogie a DIME to make a down payment on an installment payment on her back taxes and fees!*
LMAO!!!!!!
Well he will be on Wendy Williams today talking about it im sure she will have some funny opinions on it
Wait didn’t he cheat on his wife with his manager too? http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/juice/content/wyclef-jeans-wife-enraged-nude-photo-manager-his-cell-phone
so, he says their love spell was broken because she had a child. but he’s married, no? so lauryn was ‘posed to keep hush whilst he galavanted his main shorty around?
woo, chile.
i cant.. i wont…
lauryn needs more people.
wyclef needs more people.
rohan needs more people.
AMen. Trifling low down negro went after her when she wasn’t feeling him like that, pursued her and kept her wrapped up. Meanwhile his low down shady ass was lying to Claudinett and her people. THEN, all that I love you baby baby bullshit aside he went with the older woman who shared his culture, had family connections and approval and left Lauryn high and dry. AND THEN KEPT FUKKING HER.
I don’t know about you all, but she was young and I know for sure an older man that you love but who wont let you go, that is hard to shake. Even Diana Ross back in her day was singing “set me free why don’t you baby” and she had to up and marry another man to get legit after she got knocked up messing with Berry Gordy.
Nothin in the game is new.
Wyclef is the most unself aware idiotic low down trifling negro ever to write a book. That this fool doesnt even have the sense to know he should be ashamed and how bad he looks.
Sir, I’m only here for you if you decide to do a 911 remix with Mary J. entitled “Someone Please Call 911 (I choked on a crispy chicken bone)”
Leave Lauryn where she is. And you should be ashamed to be so messy and so willing to admit that you cheated on your wife and only stopped because your MISTRESS misled you on the paternity of her son.
dear Wyclef, I hope Claudinette wants to stay married. I hope you haven’t continued sharing your peen with women other than Claudinette. If you have been liberal with the peen, I hope you aren’t interested in becoming a U.S. citizen… 8 CFR 316.10(b)(3)(ii): having an extramarital affair that destroys a marriage bars a finding of good moral character for five years. wrap it up homie!
Damn Luvvie, did you drop that mic after penning this piece of Open Letter Shade GTFOHWTBS perfection?
For Wyclef to act so proud that he got two women to do his bidding is sicking, just sicking. No wonder the group broke up..yeah she got away from the issue but her feelings and not deserving was still with her. I hope she takes the time to leave this behind and stop being men’s doormat.
For her to just put up with that as the best she can do and that she deserve that is the saddest thing I can think of.
She is such a beautiful person she deserves so much better, I hope she can see the beauty within herself.
Well supposedly she is going on tour with Nas. Her segment of the joint tour is called “Black Rage” and is also supposed to be the title of her single that is allegedly dropping this Fall. I have passed up her many appearances waiting on something new to drop. Perhaps this is my chance or gamble. I figure she might be ready with the whole I-R-to-tha-S debt. Maybe baby #6 is Nas’…. I’m prayin’ for her.
People in Jamaica are saying everyone knew it was Rohan’s baby Wyclef was salty the entire time. Smh. So Lauren gets knocked up by man and she is doing Wyclef wrong? How about Wyclef realize ass was wrong for cheating on his wife.
Am I the only one who saw shades of LHHATL in this whole story?
Stevie J = Wyclef
Claudinette = Mimi
L Boogie = Joseline
She even put them paws on him..on an airplane no less
Clef’s autobio is almost as relevant as Mama Kardashian’s: nobody cared, but her kid’s bizness was exposed for all the world to see and question. SMDH, you coulda left that stone un-turned, son.
Just everything you said Luvvie. Guy is a waste of space.
I read the except then listened to Ex-Factor again. It just highlighted the fact that this was a naive girl in love who made mistakes (definitely not condoning it, she gets a huge side eye for going to the wedding and for carrying on with him when she knew he was married) and he’s there making excuses about how he couldn’t give her up, she was his muse, she’s a Gemini (wth is that about?)etc. KMT – I really, really just can’t.
Listening to Miseducation gives me life yes, but it makes me very sad because the more time passes, the more I think we will never see that Lauryn again. She keeps saying she will come back… but I don’t get my hopes up any more.