Dear Wyclef Jean, You are 50 Shades of Trifling for this Lauryn Thing

[ 47 ] September 19, 2012 |

Lauryn Hill’s name won’t stop coming up lately and it hasn’t been for anything music-related, which is a shame. Wyclef Jean is releasing his autobiography, and folks got a sneak peek at it and got some quotables. One of the things he addresses is his deep affair with Lauryn Hill, which led to the eventual breakup of the Fugees. And then the MARRIED Wyclef thought he was the dad to Lauryn’s first kid, Zion. And then he found out he wasn’t. And then he was salty about it.

So he has earned this sternly-worded letter.

Dear Wyclef,

So about this autobiography you’re coming out with. I wanna know who encouraged it and figured the public would give a damb. No shade (which really means all of the shade), Clef, but I doubt there’s a huge demand for a book about your life. Unless it’s ALL about Lauryn, of course, which is what this publicity blitz on your book has been all about.

Your book is called Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story but to be honest, the only thing that makes me want to read it is the chapter on you and Lauryn’s love affair. THAT IS ALL. However, since the Salon has posted a long excerpt of that, I don’t even need to. WIN. You should have just called the book Hoe-meo and Juliet: The Wyclef and Lauryn Saga and it might be a best-seller.

Wyclef Jean Lauryn Hill

First, I want to thank you for ONE thing. And that is the song “Ex-factor” by Lauryn. Your aint-shitness spurred her to write that awesome song, and almost 15 years later, we still get LIFE from it. So you get kudos for being the shady muse there. But besides that, I wanted to let you know that there’s a seat somewhere waiting for your occupation.

As I read the piece on Salon.com, so many things hit me. But most of all is the fact that you’re REALLY not about that life. You had this deep ‘lationship with Lauryn, while talmbout how much you love your girl, Claudinette. Before you even got joined in wedded glory, you and Lau’n were doing the Southside Slippery Slide and being each others’ muses and all that other stuff that woulda been cute if you weren’t a taken man. BUT you still managed to get married. AND LAURYN WAS THERE. Talmbout:

“My father married Claudinette and me in his church and Lauryn was there at the ceremony, the reception, all of it — and that was definitely heavy. Lauryn respected the day so there was no confrontation because I’d told her that I’d made up my mind and that was it. Of course later, when we were on the road again, I fell back into indulging myself with her.”

SCANDAL! So your mistress was at your wedding. Doing what, might I ask? Sir! I SAY SIR. WORD? That’s what you were on? Talk about some ginormous balls. And I’m looking at Ms. Hill too sideways for accepting the invitation to your wedding. Both of you are 50 shades of trifling for this. 50 WHOLE SHADES OF TRIFLING. And then y’all kept getting it in. WOMPPP!

And then, this piece on the Grio mentions how you thought Lauryn’s first baby, Zion was yours. And finding out he wasn’t meant “she could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.” Ummm… you damb infidel. Your love spell shouldn’t have had a chance to be broken because it shouldn’t have been nothing but a Victoria’s Secret body spray to begin with! Chile, iCan’t.

Like many women, Lauryn makes terrible decisions on the men she gives her heart to. I’ve already written her a letter talmbout how Rohan ain’t worth a penny with a hole in it. And her attraction to men who aren’t technically single is something worth exploring on Dr. Drew’s couch on VH1 but that’s for another day.

But you, Mr. Jean. You’re also proof of her bad decision-making, and to note it all in a book in this matter-of-fact way… LAWD.

And your wife still stands by you today. I ain’t in nobody’s marriage bed but girl, ok. Wonders shall never cease.

Beyonce sips tea gif

I’m not e’em gon talk about how I don’t understand Lauryn’s huge attraction to your shaky-voiced self. MMHMMM. And I’m still shading you for that whole Yele Haiti debacle but that’s besides the point.

But I do wanna know something. Wyclef, how you gon win when you ain’t right within?

Yours in extreme side-eyedom,

LuvBug

What do y’all think of this Wyclef foolishness? And whatchu think of Lauryn now?

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Category: Famous folks, Letter

Comments (47)

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  1. Kia says:

    Your title pretty much sums up my feelings about this.

    Mostly I feel terrible for all these relatively young children, (Lauryn has 6, I’m not sure how many Wyclef & Claudinette have) who are having their family bidness put out on front street.

    I wish he would have just stuck to music (leaving charity work to professionals) and let people connect the dots about this ancient history.

  2. gerry says:

    U know for better or worse Wyclef is writing about real life. its tragic and its wrong in some cases but its also real and heart felt and told beautifully. Outside with you and your neo feminist bleeding heart crap…This blog was poop

  3. Mskkj says:

    Wyclef is this why we are here? To bring relevance to our lives by bringing up past secrets? It could be so simple but you just had to make it hard, huh? It’s hard out there for failed Haitian presidential candidates I guess. This is not the reciprocity Lauryn was asking for. Unless of course some of those book sales are going to help Ms L Boogie pay off some of her tax debts. Otherwise, you and Usher can call Iyanla and fix your lives. Own your ish without bringing other people’s names in it.

  4. numbah5 says:

    I’m certainly not here for Clef and his airing of ancient tea….I am however here and getting my ever-loving life from that vintage Lauryn photo…My Lord that woman was STUNNING-the wig, the beat face, the blouse-PERFECTION!

    • Shonte says:

      OMG! I thought I was the only one loving Lauryn’s bowl cut wig to the fullest. That makeup, that big ass clown bow shirt, AND that wig just works for her. Like the supreme Supreme girl trying (and successfully) making a come back.

  5. Kay says:

    You pretty much summed up my feelings on this mess! I rolled my eyes so hard in my car listening to this on the radio, I damn near Lindsay Lohan’d someone….Someone please call 911 for this negro’s feelings….

  6. MoreAndAgain says:

    As I tweeted: So, basically, Wyclef ain’t shit, Lauryn ain’t shit, and Pras is. . . well, Pras.

  7. Arianna says:

    Luvvie you are sooo mad!

    Claudinette should be the most mad here, he put all her kindness out there for the world to now look at her sideways.

  8. Keylolo says:

    This letter is the truth!!!

  9. Kisha says:

    What is it with men who think that you should be monogomous with you while they go out hoe-baggin’? So it’s a problem that her son had a different Dad? Is that the whole “But you don’t get a ninja back like that” mentality?

    Lauryn was TACKY and scandalous for going to the wedding. Unforgivable. Straight up.

    Ultimately, whoever you’re in a relationship is the person that should be held most responsible for infedility, but I am not from that “girl, I ain’t have no commitment to you” clan. I hate….HATE when women KNOW a man is very taken and continue to sleep with/get at him. Take it from a woman who is about to divorce, it is hard enough being in a relationship without having a WOMAN as a distraction to the mix. Why not respect relationships. I’m sure Lauryn wouldn’t want someone sleeping with her husband, so why do it to someone else. There are other FINE @$# men in the sea. I don’t even know what she saw in Wyclef. All I can say is he must have that hammer to make her keep on like she did, give us that sad love song, and then still never be the same afterward…

    • Kisha says:

      *men who think you should be monogomous with them*

      My fault…didn’t pre-read…

    • Shonte says:

      I agree, wholeheartedly, that the person in the relationship is most responsible, but why can’t everyone else ALSO be a decent, moral human being??? Ithat too much to ask? It’s starting to seem like it IS too much to ask.

  10. Stesha says:

    ” Your love spell shouldn’t have had a chance to be broken because it shouldn’t have been nothing but a Victoria’s Secret body spray to begin with! Chile, iCan’t.”

    If loving this blog is wrong I don’t want to be right! *tosses my bottle of Love Spell spray in the garbage where all copies of his book belong*

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  11. DaniLovenotes says:

    This article is F*ckin genius! Two thumbs way up!!

  12. Hattie says:

    Well said, Luuvie. Wyclef need a whack with his own book upside the head. Dude is lame

  13. Stace says:

    Oh the things “we” do to stay relevant … couldn’t he have just been a judge on American Idol?!?

  14. Shunte D'ann says:

    I can no longer read this blog at work. I slid out of my chair and onto the floor, weeping silently under my desk after reading this.

    I need Wyclef to be gone ’til NEXT November so he can take some time to think about his ENTIRE life, starting at birth! He took advantage of a woman who has emotional, mental, and self-esteem issues (I’m sure he knew YEARS before the public did). Then has the nerve to exploit the story for gas money! And he probably won’t give L-Boogie a DIME to make a down payment on an installment payment on her back taxes and fees! Boy, have a seat in a raggedy porch chair with a lose spring!

  15. tina says:

    Well he will be on Wendy Williams today talking about it im sure she will have some funny opinions on it

  16. eboni says:

    so, he says their love spell was broken because she had a child. but he’s married, no? so lauryn was ‘posed to keep hush whilst he galavanted his main shorty around?

    woo, chile.

    i cant.. i wont…

    lauryn needs more people.
    wyclef needs more people.
    rohan needs more people.

  17. nina says:

    AMen. Trifling low down negro went after her when she wasn’t feeling him like that, pursued her and kept her wrapped up. Meanwhile his low down shady ass was lying to Claudinett and her people. THEN, all that I love you baby baby bullshit aside he went with the older woman who shared his culture, had family connections and approval and left Lauryn high and dry. AND THEN KEPT FUKKING HER.
    I don’t know about you all, but she was young and I know for sure an older man that you love but who wont let you go, that is hard to shake. Even Diana Ross back in her day was singing “set me free why don’t you baby” and she had to up and marry another man to get legit after she got knocked up messing with Berry Gordy.
    Nothin in the game is new.
    Wyclef is the most unself aware idiotic low down trifling negro ever to write a book. That this fool doesnt even have the sense to know he should be ashamed and how bad he looks.

  18. Rissa says:

    Sir, I’m only here for you if you decide to do a 911 remix with Mary J. entitled “Someone Please Call 911 (I choked on a crispy chicken bone)”

    Leave Lauryn where she is. And you should be ashamed to be so messy and so willing to admit that you cheated on your wife and only stopped because your MISTRESS misled you on the paternity of her son.

  19. aisha1908 says:

    dear Wyclef, I hope Claudinette wants to stay married. I hope you haven’t continued sharing your peen with women other than Claudinette. If you have been liberal with the peen, I hope you aren’t interested in becoming a U.S. citizen… 8 CFR 316.10(b)(3)(ii): having an extramarital affair that destroys a marriage bars a finding of good moral character for five years. wrap it up homie!

  20. LadyTee16 says:

    Damn Luvvie, did you drop that mic after penning this piece of Open Letter Shade GTFOHWTBS perfection?

  21. Annette says:

    For Wyclef to act so proud that he got two women to do his bidding is sicking, just sicking. No wonder the group broke up..yeah she got away from the issue but her feelings and not deserving was still with her. I hope she takes the time to leave this behind and stop being men’s doormat.

    For her to just put up with that as the best she can do and that she deserve that is the saddest thing I can think of.

    She is such a beautiful person she deserves so much better, I hope she can see the beauty within herself.

  22. Girl Bye! says:

    Well supposedly she is going on tour with Nas. Her segment of the joint tour is called “Black Rage” and is also supposed to be the title of her single that is allegedly dropping this Fall. I have passed up her many appearances waiting on something new to drop. Perhaps this is my chance or gamble. I figure she might be ready with the whole I-R-to-tha-S debt. Maybe baby #6 is Nas’…. I’m prayin’ for her.

  23. Mrs. Reed says:

    People in Jamaica are saying everyone knew it was Rohan’s baby Wyclef was salty the entire time. Smh. So Lauren gets knocked up by man and she is doing Wyclef wrong? How about Wyclef realize ass was wrong for cheating on his wife.

  24. CrimsonDove says:

    Am I the only one who saw shades of LHHATL in this whole story?

    Stevie J = Wyclef
    Claudinette = Mimi
    L Boogie = Joseline

    She even put them paws on him..on an airplane no less

  25. Gee says:

    Clef’s autobio is almost as relevant as Mama Kardashian’s: nobody cared, but her kid’s bizness was exposed for all the world to see and question. SMDH, you coulda left that stone un-turned, son.

  26. Sas says:

    Just everything you said Luvvie. Guy is a waste of space.

    I read the except then listened to Ex-Factor again. It just highlighted the fact that this was a naive girl in love who made mistakes (definitely not condoning it, she gets a huge side eye for going to the wedding and for carrying on with him when she knew he was married) and he’s there making excuses about how he couldn’t give her up, she was his muse, she’s a Gemini (wth is that about?)etc. KMT – I really, really just can’t.

    Listening to Miseducation gives me life yes, but it makes me very sad because the more time passes, the more I think we will never see that Lauryn again. She keeps saying she will come back… but I don’t get my hopes up any more.

  27. Mona says:

    Lauryn hill is an amazing artist. I bought and read wyclef’s book because I wanted to know why lauryn stopped making music and why the fugees broke up. Reading between the lines, I realized Wyclef met lauryn when she was 14 and he was 19. It is pretty evident that their relationship became sexual while L-boogie was still a child. In an old interview lauryn described clef and pras as having two fathers, brothers and boyfriends 24-7. lauryn was 22 when Zion was born. It is not surprising that her break-up with wyclef took such a toll on her. He was her everything from 14 till 22. Wyclef doesn’t clearly explain why he married claudinette in 1994, when he is head over heels in this hot and heavy relationship with lauryn. You would think he would go with his muse and bread maker. But then I realized that he used his marriage as a way to control lauryn and gain the upper hand in the relationship. He was from the projects making beats in his uncle’s basement. Lauryn was making movies in la, studying at Columbia university and the industry made no secret about their desire to see her as a solo artist. To all the ladies who have dated a married man, you know it is about him and his schedule, leaving you at his beck ad call. So he used his marriage to control lauryn, making lauryn desperate for him. Listen to her words on the score: ready or not here I come I am going to find you and make you want me. In the book he says she cried when she sang that song. He thought he had his muse on lock-down, not realizing the repercussions of karma. As for the Zion saga, if you read the book, wyclef basically says that in his arrogance over his ownership of lauryn he assumed Zion was his seed. Did lauryn hook-up with rohan to make clef jealous; maybe or maybe he used him to regain some control over her relationship with clef. If you look at their concert footage from 1997 , she is pregnant and it is evident from their body language that they are very much a couple. In all likelihood they both wanted the baby to be Wyclef’s. him because she was growing up and he needed the baby to continue his reign over her, and lauryn probably thought with both the music and baby on her side she could finally wrench him free of claudinette. But karma had its own plans. Lauryn left one married man for another married man; had six children out-of-wedlock and after the miseducation has stopped making music. And wyclef continues to cheat on his wife, with anything that walks, has not had any biological children with his wife(wonder what karma is trying to tell him—-when u got l-boogie and her bounty) and despite his fruitful career as a solo artist nothing he has come out with has eclipsed either the score or miseducation. And 15 years later he is still talking about her, l-boogie!!!!!! As a fool in love myself, I do wish that some how these two find their way back to each other. Their best work is about each other….. Lauryn classics: ex-factor, lost one; sweetest thing; Wyclef classics: 911, to all the girls, two wrongs, suicide love; and of course the score is those two meshed onto vinyl. After reading his book, I dusted of my score cd, and the lyrics had a whole new meaning.

  28. Mona says:

    Wyclef Jean is not being honest with himself or the reader when he says the birth of Zion, Lauryn’s baby with Rohan Marley, broke up the Fugees. The fact that Lauryn produced a solo album, Miseducation, without Wyclef’s blessings is the real reason the Fugees broke up. Wyclef claims he wrote and produced Carnival while he healed from his heart break over Lauryn and Zion. That is simply not true. A pregnant L-Boogie coproduced Carnival, featured on key songs and travelled and performed with Wyclef promoting the album. If anything Zion’s birth, and Wyclef’s temporary rejection, gave L-boogie the breathing room to make Miseducation. Wyclef was adamantly against Lauryn making a solo album, tried to black-ball her in the industry by telling everyone that anyone who worked with Lauryn could not work with him, and when all else failed demanded to produce her album, which she refused.
    Wyclef is right when he says that although Lauryn was in Jamaica with Rohan when she made t Miseducation, lyrically and musically she was with him. Its true, all the songs in Miseducation scream her love and desire for Wyclef. Despite her physical emancipation he is still and always will be in her heart. And despite the break-up of the Fugees is he not still with her lyrically and musically on his subsequent solo albums? Wyclef has produced a slew of solo albums after the Carnival. And on every album thereafter there are songs that can only be about one person: L-Boogie. Listen to baby daddy on preacher’s son, where Clef thinks about parenting L-boogie’s brood. And on Baby where he talks about making love while listening to Donny Hathaway. In purpose Clef tells us how he fell in love with L-Boogie as they listened to R&B and she taught him how to croon. Come on Clef, who do you think you are fooling?
    You’re my Bonnie I’m your Clyde……..fifteen years later Wyclef is still not emancipated from this “suicide love” he has for L-Boogie. In every interview he talks about Lauryn, even if he is dissing her. In Purpose Wyclef tells us he married Claudinette because he wanted a safe life. A safe life does make for great music. And although we all shake our hips to hips don’t lie, it’s really not that deep. Not deep like the tracks of the Score. In an interview subsequent to hips don’t lie Clef claims Lauryn told him he had lost his pulse. He hasn’t lost it; we see glimmers of his pulse beating when he belts out tunes like 911; the ones about his dangerous bygone love. Wyclef describes L-boogie as a musical genius who needs to be directed. Well Clef himself is a great producer who needs to be inspired. Clef and L-boogie were and are each other’s muses and their dangerous volatile love for each other made for great music. Wyclef Jean there is no time like the present. Make-ups and breakups, incarcerations and legal troubles are all fodder for great music. Go back to your muse, Lauryn Hill, and make some great music together!

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