Whose is this?

Whose Lawyer is This?

I haven’t done a “Whose is this?” post in a while so to bring it back, I found the perfect image. Just look below and get your life.

Crooked lawyer steeze

Yo. My man Peter rightchea said if you need a GOOD lawyer, you better call him now. And he produced this high quality (O___O) flyer to prove how good of a lawyer he is.

First of all, homeboy is on this flyer looking like he’s on a set of a music video and no one realizes it but him. He put on his good suit in black to show how serious he is. Then he had to show some patriotism and Jamo pride by rocking the flag on his belt buckle AND as a pendant on his necklace. JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT. And in case you didn’t realize that he was Jamaican, since his nickname is “P Ta Mon.” He’s a walking caricature of himself and he’s ok with it.

Then let’s get into the services that P Ta Mon, Attorney-at-Law renders. Well, for one, he’s having a sale right now where he can get your records expunged for a measly $500. For FIGH HUNNID DOLLAS, call P’Ta and let him get your record fixed, yo! Tell your cousins an’ em IMMEJATELY.

And he’ll help you with MAJOR drug charges. He can’t waste time with the fact that they caught you with a coupla dime bags. NAWL. But if you’re running a ring or they bust your meth lab WIDE OPEN, he got your back! Call this man!

In addition to that, he wants to ensure you that “No evidence, no conviction.” Now, I’m confused. Does this mean he makes evidence they have against you disappear? Does he pull a stunt like Walt and Jesse did in Breaking Bad and destroy anything they got? Lemme find out he’s the chocolate Saul Goodman. I’m confused. But either way, he seems to say he’ll get the work done. Don’t ask no questions. Just enjoy your damb freedom, on behalf of P’Ta!

I ain’t gon lie. P’Ta seems more crooked than Fabolous’ original teeth. He might need a lawyer one day, the way he seems. But if he ever gets disbarred, he can begin (or continue) a career as an extra in a reggae video. He better call Patra, the Queen of the Pack!

So… whose lawyer is this? Which of you is gon call Peter the next time they end up on the wrong side of the law?

28 Comments

  1. Lauren
    September 6, 2012 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    P Ta Mon, Arrorney at Law. I can’t stop laughing. I really can’t!

  2. NaijaGal
    September 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm — Reply

    I was drinking water and nearly spat it out at my computer. If you hire him based on this advertisement not only are you going to jail, but your ass deserves it.

    • September 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm — Reply

      LMAOOOOO!!!

  3. Brownbelle
    September 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm — Reply

    Uhmmm…no. Just no. In addition to being a crime against taste, this advertisement is teetering dangerously close to violation of the ABA Model Rules on advertising. This is worse than Phaedra taking bands from her client in the parking light and I do not approve!

  4. Trina
    September 6, 2012 at 2:12 pm — Reply

    I showed this to my boss, who just happens to be a black lawyer as well, and he wants me to immediately print a copy out on color so we can frame it and hang it up (in the break room but still).

    Thanks for endless material.

  5. SES
    September 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm — Reply

    No see you’re not paying this guy for legal help, but for advice on how not to get shanked in the shower and how to make wine in a jail cell toilet. I mean he looks like he knows that stuff.

    • TeeCee
      September 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm — Reply

      Lmao

  6. CaliGirlED
    September 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm — Reply

    *pauses to cackle at this* “For FIGH HUNNID DOLLAS, call P’Ta and let him get your record fixed, yo!”
    Bwahahahaha!!!

    • CaliGirlED
      September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm — Reply

      Peter “P’Ta Mon” John: Trial Lawyers…You mean he has other attorneys on his payroll? Lawd help them all! SMH

  7. September 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm — Reply

    Can’t nobody tell me P-Ta Mon ain’t a reggae artist tryna be funny. *checks last few editions of Reggae Gold*

  8. Shelley
    September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm — Reply

    I am Jamaican and I am embarrassed. Lawd! Can you imagine if your check for five hunnid bounces? You better run! Oh wait, forget it, he clearly only deals in cash.

  9. September 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm — Reply

    Why do I think he probably talks like the male version of Miss Cleo?

  10. MzNoBehavior
    September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm — Reply

    “More crooked than Fabulous’ original teeth”
    I just can’t!

  11. September 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm — Reply

    All I imagine is him busting out into a bogle during cross-examination.

    SHABBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  12. odilla
    September 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm — Reply
    • Yoles
      September 7, 2012 at 5:40 pm — Reply

      i clicked the link… according to such:

      P’Ta Mon (peeta mon) Has a Law Degree an MBA is a Licensed Commercial Pilot (yes he can fly the airplane) and he is very smart. He served in the marine corps and is a Winning defense attorney who does state and federal cases. Based in Louisiana and also works in the Northen District Federal Courts in Florida. He fights for the little guy. He also does entertainment law for high profile clients. He is a Billboard Charted recording artist and is currently signed to Universal Republic/Fontana. http://www.ptamon.com http://www.myspace.com/ptamon

      *eyes closed*

      • Kelli
        September 25, 2012 at 1:14 pm — Reply

        *falls to the floor completely DEAD* iCant.

    • HowlingBanshee
      November 30, 2012 at 2:30 pm — Reply

      No! Stop it! Why does he have Charlie McWhiterson doing the voiceover, though? With “Bad Boys” playing in the background?

  13. Gee
    September 7, 2012 at 1:16 pm — Reply

    wait! P’ta mon is so good, he is pluralized! *dead* Ah wonda om he gnash ‘im teet when da judge ovah rule ‘em?

  14. Rai
    September 9, 2012 at 10:38 am — Reply

    But….I have questions. Why would you pay this man $500 for something you (or a legal aid clinic) can do for free? Filing fees are about $120 or an expungement…why would someone pay him an additional $500 to fill out some papers your print off of the inter webs??? I just can’t….and this is why lawyers have such a bad reputation, smh.

  15. September 10, 2012 at 8:05 am — Reply
  16. sidney
    September 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm — Reply

    he looks like a druglord in one of those ghetto hood movies on bet

  17. justlikehoney1
    September 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm — Reply

    What in the No Limit Records hell?

  18. first ammendment
    August 17, 2013 at 4:05 pm — Reply

    Anyone know about free speech? All these comments are likely from hating black people and hateful white people. Success in America is how the individual defines it. Not you. What if it were true that he is a successful artist, pilot And lawyer….Lol means your life is boring so = time to hate….Lol he is probably laughing all the way to the bank while you make him more popular

  19. first ammendment
    August 17, 2013 at 4:07 pm — Reply

    Yes ammmmmendmmmmmeant it that way. (a joke on many of your literate comments and that of the author of this post) LOL

  20. first ammendment
    August 17, 2013 at 4:15 pm — Reply

    PS; He is also moonlighting at http://www.TalkCalm.com I really think you are all just Jealous which is defined as; A feeling of resentment against someone (especially someone you don’t know) because of that persons success or advantage. Psychologically you really admire his freedom and boldness in expressing himself. You may want to be like him so it makes you write negative comments. Lol.

  21. first ammendment
    August 17, 2013 at 4:20 pm — Reply

    You probably listen to and admire Chris Brown and Lil Wayne, rick ross, and hate Obama. Lol. Black on black hate is fun to read.

  22. first ammendment
    August 17, 2013 at 4:26 pm — Reply

    Here is what the cool white people had to say before black people caught up w P’Ta Mon 4 years later: http://www.tressugar.com/Coolest-Lawyer-Ever-2486524

    We think he is cool.

    P’Ta Mon for president!!

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