In news that surprises NO ONE, Chris Brown has apparently dumped his girlfriend, Karrueche, for his ex Rihanna, whose forehead he ponned. According to WonderWall, Chris made a statement saying:
“I have decided to be single to focus on my career. I love Karrueche very much, but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna. I’d rather be single, allowing us to both be happy in our lives.”
UH HUH. I know trifling speak when I see it. Translation: “Karoach had to go because she was getting in the way of me doing the southside slippery slide with Rihanna. And I’ont got time to be dealing with her being mad at me for it. So ummm… yeah. I’m single.”
YUP. That’s what he said.
But no one can sat up there and be shocked. Everyone saw that coming from a mile away. Chris and Rihanna have been flirting with each other for a good long while and when she went on Oprah’s show looking like Arizona Iced Tea, she told Oprah she still loved him.
And that was AFTER they made a song together talmbout how they miss each other’s bodies and what they were gonna do while eating desserts or cake or something. ID damb K. Plus we can’t forget how a coupla weeks ago, at the MTV Music Awards no one watched, Chris and Breezy pecked to greet each other and it didn’t seem like no Sunday church peck. MM-DAMB-HMM.
I ask. What did Krabcakes think??? Why didn’t she put 2 and 2 together earlier? Now she’s saltier than the damb Atlantic.
Too bad it took her a year to figure that out. OOP.
Aawww Karfuffle. She’s the only one taken aback in all this. I’m not surprised at Chris and Rihanna reuniting in unholy coitusmony. I’m just surprised it took this long. In fact, I think the reason it took 3 and a half years was because of the public scrutiny. Otherwise, they’da been knocking the boots all out in the open since before now.
Poor Kerosene. She spent over a year invested in a man who was clearly still in love and lust with his ex-boo and she was just his “in the meantime” girl. I mean, didn’t she realize that’s what she was? I’d say she should be livid but to be honest, she was goofy for going along with Breezy this long. He never seemed THAT much into her. She basically became one of his accessories, seen everywhere with him looking like she just rolled outta bed.
Chile, WOMP. All she got outta her ‘lationship with Chris were a buncha Jordan sneakers, bad tattoos and public humiliation. She lost so tough.
But one of the worst parts of this is Karisma ain’t gon be able to dodge this. There’ll be reminders of her failed relationship everywhere, as Chris and Rihanna start gallivanting their hapless selves around the globe, looking yellow together. And of course, there’s Twitter. And you know Ri-Ri’s petty dinnamug!
And she lost to someone who is ULTRA petty.
P-E-T-T-Y. Ugh. Rihanna is the chick who’ll walk around butt nekkid and then wonder why you’re looking at her up and down. She talmbout “ain’t nobody bidness…” Girl SHUT UP. Just SHET IT UP!
But yeah… this saga continues. Two volatile people like Chris and Rihanna together is TMZ’s wet dream. What I TRULY hope is that no more trips to the hospital come from their reunion. What happened the first time around was terrible, and I hope history doesn’t repeat itself. Really and truly hope.
Anywho, my Twitfam is SOOOO damb foolish (and I love them)! They had me CRYING laughing with the names they were giving Karmistry.
Kaopectate and Karmachameleon had me CRYING laughing. My peoples got NO chill whatsoever!
And there’s more:
iBouta DAHD at “lil Krashbandicoot.” DAHD, I say!!! I wish I could quit them but iCan’t. We go together since they get me.
But yeah. Whatcha’ll think of this? Do you think it’s a good idea for Chris and Ri-ri to get back together? Who else feels bad for Karate and wants to send her some few nice words? She needs encouragement in this time of hardship.
Category: Famous folks