Do Not Instagram That Hoe, Fat Joe
Not-so Fat Joe just released a lyrically-remedial track featuring Rick Ross and Juicy J called “Instagram That Hoe.” and I’m here to tell him to refrain from such a thing and I have a plethora of reasons.
0.5. You start the song talmbout “all my bad bitches report to Instagram right now!” Welp, there goes the neighborhood. (-_-) I say NAWL. Let them stay off it. For reasons. I’m not here for that.
1. Fellas, her name ain’t “that hoe.” She won’t appreciate you calling her that. You know her name was Thundalicious when you met her. Please address her accordingly. You don’t e’em know her life like that to be nicknaming her. You are rude.
b. You can’t just be Instagramming her all willy nilly without knowing what her favorite filter to use is. I mean, she’ont like “Inkwell” as much as she likes “Amaro” and had you talked to her more, maybe you’da know that, Joseph and crew. But you didn’t, did you? You just using her for her Instagramability. The filter makes ALL the difference in the world, sir and you picked the WRONG one.
III. Don’t be Instagramming that lady when you’ont know what her good and preferred side is. She might not like taking pics from her left side because it gives the illusion of her having a double chin. But you ain’t consider that in your haste to place her grill on the Instagrams, Schmedium Joey.
4. What makes you think she didn’t wanna put that picture of herself FIRST on Instagram? I mean, if everyone already “liked” it from your account, then who’s gonna “like” it from hers? She had on her favorite #alphet with some killer shoes. She was READY to Instagram it but you beat her to the punch on some thirst. See? That’s that shit folks don’t like. You gotta consider her feelings and yours AT THE SAME DAMB TIME! It’s only right. (-__-)
5e. Here’s where you went really wrong. You tagged the wrong
hoe girl to the picture. That’s a terrible shame, Skinny Joe.
And this is why you should NOT instagram that lady. You ain’t e’em have her permission and you were reckless with it.
But you know what, I know folks gon be at the club doing this when this song comes on:
Unfortunately, we’re all impressionable. This song is simple as all to be dambed, which is exactly why it’s probably gonna be huge. And I’ll be facepalming its’ popularity very soon.
Still though. Self-govern. If you wanted to find things to post on Instragram, you could post a picture of Rick Ross’ bra. Or give us hints as to the size he wears. Methinks it’s 50GGG give or take a few inches.
I’m just saying.
So ummm… speak your peace.