Phenomenal Binder, That’s Me: A Poem

[ 21 ] October 17, 2012 |

When I try to explain to people that I’m not the most ratchet of my friends, they always give me the side-eye. But for realsies. I have some type of foolery magnet and it brings fellow senseless people into my life and I love it.

My girl Kellee (@KHough09), decided to write a poem about women in binders from Mitt Romney’s gaffe at the presidential debates. She’s paying #amish to Mother Maya Angelou and here it is. Y’all give it up for this POETRESS! O_O

Phenomenal Binder, That’s Me

Bigger binders wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not tall enough at all for 11×14 size.
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in my front pocket
And the one in the rear
The reinforced metal socket
The cover that’s clear
I’m a binder
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.

Women in binders


I’m stored up on the shelf
Just as cool as you please
And for a band
On music stands
Or placed atop their knees.
Choir kids swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the 3 rings that hold
All the music they read
You just can’t deny
I’m their basic need
I’m a binder.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s because I’m so convenient
Because I hold so much
You can find me in your backpack
with just the slightest touch.
I’m a binder.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my cover’s not bent.
Don’t need a lock or special box
to protect important contents.
When you fill me up with women
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my rings
The bend of my spine
The dividers I hold
My color, so divine.
‘Cause I’m a binder.
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.


*snaps my fingers and hits a bongo* iCackled and howled and quit her for a good 5 minutes. She is a fool. Now if I could only convince her to record this poem.

Follow Kellee on Twitter at @Khough09. We just peer-pressured her into joining last night because her ratchetness needs to be seen by the masses.

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Category: Guest Blog, Politics

Comments (21)

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  1. Ra says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!! Not Phenomenal BINDER. No no no…. I now fear… that I shall not live a second longer… LMAO!!!!!!!

  2. Charlotte says:

    And still I rise with laughter.

  3. Tierra says:

    *dead* Totally *dead* I quit ya’ll. For 30 seconds.

  4. Jenna says:

    I love her so, but hate her so much right now! LMBO

  5. aStatesman says:

    Why did I read this in the Maya Angelou raspy voice!? I laughed so hard, I emailed this to my entire office. LOL I sense a sequel…”I rise (to a zip drive)”.

  6. Dee says:

    -stands up to shout & snaps furiously- YES!!!!

    I am in tears!

  7. Starrene says:

    *Crawls into casket*

  8. NSmithShaw says:

    Just FLATLINED ________________________________!!!!! I love it!!! LOL

  9. Kween says:

    *gives up on life…buries self in pretty binder*

  10. Tonia says:

    This right here is pure de genius!!!!

  11. dianthe says:

    and following … any fool, i mean friend in ratchetry of yours, is a friend in ratchetry of mine!

  12. Rachael says:

    Why did I read this in my 6 yr old daughters voice?! LMFAOOOOOOOO I QUIT!!

    • Ra says:

      Ha!!! All i saw was janet jackson in poetic justice with those braids and justice cap lolol. Janet has now become the face of “binders of women” in my head

  13. Dominique says:

    I read the first 2 lines and had to go take a break! LMAOOOOOOOO! I CAN’T!

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