My Life

There’s Voodoo at Target Stores to Make You Spend All Your Money

Seriously. There has GOT to be some sort of voodoo at Target. That is the only explanation for how that place traps the most innocent people into these marathon shopping excursions that result in overdrawn bank accounts and hurting feet.

First of all, going to Target on a Sunday is the worst. You get there and every single space in the mega parking lot is full. ARE PEOPLE CLUBBING IN THERE??? Is there a drink special??? Will people be in freakum dresses? Am I underdressed in these Uggs and sweatpants? Do I need a neon green wristband to get in? Why is it so full at 11am on the Lord’s day??? Club Tarjay be POPPING!

Then you play “scope that spot” and find one (after losing 3 to people who can turn sharply faster) and you end up at the farthest end of the lot. You walk the three blocks to the door, dipping and dodging cars that are coming both ways to play the same game you just finished, and finally enter Target.

Target takes all your money

Found this in Pinterest. Super accurate.

What greets you is chaos. It’s a shopping amusement park. And if you weren’t high on whatever oxygen they must pump through the vents to keep you on a high, you’d turn right around. But you don’t. We don’t. We never do. They must pump the same air they pump into casinos in Target. I just KNOWED they do. We go right in, jolly as hell, because Target got that voodoo.

You walk into Target with your shopping list ready. You’ve written down 10 things you need. YOU ONLY need 10 things, you’ll pick them up and you’ll leave. That’s the plan. But it fails. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

You go into Target sometimes just because you need some glue and you walk out with a new cabinet, a dorm refrigerator and 4 new lamps. But you forgot the glue and you have no explanation for it.

You GOTTA pay your bills before going to Target. Otherwise you gon be homeless with a nice body pillow and 3-tier clear cart. It is NOT a game!

I once went to target for a travel size toothpaste. I came out with hair oil, shoes, fruit roll-ups, tape. And forgot the toothpaste, of course. I got home like “CRAP! Now I don’t have toothpaste for my trip!” I had to buy toothpaste when I got to the airport. BUT I HAD TAPE, DOE! O_O Who cares if you got yuck mouth the next day when you got brand new hair oil? WOMP.

But you haven’t seen temptation until you’ve gone to a Super Target. YOU try not to spend at least $200 under that pressure of a Target that is LAIDT like the bricks of the pyramids. Them Targets be TWO floors. You walk in, breathe in deeply and whisper “I’m home.” You get a cart and start dicing between the aisles like the pro you are.

When you’re done with floor 1, you gleefully place your cart on those cart escalators and clap your hands like a drunk seal because it amuses you so. And then you proceed to do damage on floor 2. Four hours later, you walk out with a bank account that’s $500 poorer and tons of time that you can’t account for in your day. And you get home to find that you just bought a new computer chair, 15 2-pocket folders, a wrench, several picture frames and a bucket hat. Then you facepalm and tell yourself this will never happen again. And you go back the next Sunday for a repeat and cry on your couch again about how you’re a failure.

This is me every time I walk into Target:

Lord Is Testing Me gif

It’s just such an experience that we seem to enjoy failing our budgets for. One day I went into Target rocking a red shirt and tan pants. Someone asked if I could help them pull something from a shelf. And I did. I even told them what aisle to go for the next thing they needed. Listen, when in Rome… be helpful. Or something like that. O_O

And since Target has restaurants in it, when you get hungry you ain’t gotta leave. I LOVE getting a personal pizza from the pizza hut there. I sit down, reload and get to shopping again. This is how one trip becomes a full day event. I walk in at noon and walk out at 6pm wondering what I did with my life.

TARGET GOT VOODOO, Y’ALL! That red sign with a bulls-eye is a conspiracy to hypnotize us and make us do things like spend all our money and time. You can’t tell me otherwise. (-__-)

Its True Though gif

Ugh. I love that store and I can’t help myself.

So family. Tell me I’m not the only one. Do you fall for the Target okey doke often?

Previous post

Disney's Monsters University is Totally Awesome

Next post

Do Not Instagram That Hoe, Fat Joe

146 Comments

  1. October 10, 2012 at 7:34 pm — Reply

    They don’t call it the Hundred Dollar Store for nothin’.

    • October 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm — Reply

      LMAO at Hundred Dollar store! True life!

      • Curvy Jones
        October 10, 2012 at 8:07 pm — Reply

        Also? CVS/Walgreens is the $50 store. I can stop for a prescription and leave with $42 worth of CRAP I did not intend to buy.

        • LiteBriteBella
          October 10, 2012 at 8:17 pm — Reply

          Walgreens is the entire devil. I went in the other day to exchange a blush. JUST EXCHANGE THE COLOR. I came out with contact solution, toothpaste, a new toothbrush, 3 Maybelline eye tattoo shadows, nail polish, mascara, a half-empty Coke (I got thirsty in the middle of my excursion) and damn near forgot about the blush until I was at the register in the make-up section and thought to do a last minute glance.

          • Denise
            October 10, 2012 at 8:33 pm

            Walgreens is def the devil or at least his first cousin. I tell you, me and my daughter go in for like some hair oil…how come the hair oil gotta cost me $35 or more??? They got some hellified marketing skills that they are not sharing and dammit I want IN!!!

          • October 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

            LMAO! The ENTIRE devil though?

        • October 10, 2012 at 10:09 pm — Reply

          That’s true. Walgreens is lowkey the same way. I go in for some juice and come out with packaged edamame like O________O

        • C
          October 10, 2012 at 10:54 pm — Reply

          When we had Snowmageddon in DC I went to CVS and spent $100 on nothing smh

        • Gilmoregrl4
          June 13, 2014 at 8:34 am — Reply

          it’s rival Super-Walmart is also the DEVIL. I went in yesterday for deodorant and lotion. THAT IS ALL. I came out with twice as much deodorant and lotion as i went in for. a bunch of $1 quickfoods, a dvd and a few skeens of yarn. the struggle is REAL

  2. Layla
    October 10, 2012 at 7:40 pm — Reply

    I used to work at Target, and lemme tell you even the employees are not immune. People would get off work, go home and change, and then come right back to do their shopping, with or without the (admittedly pathetic) employee discount. It’s gotta be something in the air.

    • October 10, 2012 at 7:48 pm — Reply

      Gahtdamb! Y’all prolly got paid in Target merchandise. Getcho paycheck and see it’s $1.43 because you don spent it right in there.

    • Humanista
      January 11, 2014 at 1:02 am — Reply

      Listen. When I worked at Target, I shopped on breaks. I mentally created shopping lists as I was working the aisles, ESPECIALLY if I was working in the clothes or home goods. Smh.

  3. Tesha
    October 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm — Reply

    I work there and that voodoo gets us too. I worked two jobs when I started (during the holidays) I used to ask them to just put my paycheck on a gift card cause I knew all I would do was give it right back to Target. Pitiful!! I know

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:46 pm — Reply

      Look at how they getchu.

  4. JD
    October 10, 2012 at 7:48 pm — Reply

    I too, am guilty of everything you’ve just described. How did I go to Target only to buy tissue and paper towels to end up purchasing: 2 ottomans, new sheets, a duvet cover, pillows and some new towels? To only go back for more the next weekend to exchange the towels. But ha! Target had me in their clutches as soon as I breezed thu those automatic doors! Because as soon as I walked in, I felt a need for some new lamp shades, curtains, cups, and a griddle. I have joined a support group for people like us. So far, it isn’t working very well. Signed-TargetsGotMe (lol)

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:47 pm — Reply

      LMAO! You went in there and redecorated your house when all you wanted was something to wipe your kitchen counter with. Chile…

  5. Bri
    October 10, 2012 at 7:48 pm — Reply

    Chile, I went to Target last week for some work clothes and left with 5 super soakers…shameful

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:47 pm — Reply

      5 super soakers??? Did you at least walk out with some khakis?

  6. msz
    October 10, 2012 at 7:49 pm — Reply

    I had to leave tar-jay alone! They messed up and gave me a credit card…..shoooo!!! It was over after that. I had to push back from the table. I’m full! I can’t with them anymore. I just can’t!

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm — Reply

      A target credit card means I #minuswell dropkick my credit through the goalposts of life. NAWL!!!

  7. Tasha
    October 10, 2012 at 7:49 pm — Reply

    I end up way way way way in the back of Target where they have the wall full of discounted items. I’m not talking about the $1 stuff that’s right in front but way in the back where they have detergent, fabric softener, bins and all the stuff you need but don’t need at the moment. You end up there and then have to walk past the grocer section of the store to get to checkout.

    THE PICTURES OF THE FOOD STAND OUT LIKE GOLD ON A DIRTY PLATTER.

    Why wouldn’t I buy cookies and oranges? So bright and vibrant and in my face as I walk down the isle.

    I have a dog. Boots & Barkley have me cashing out.

    Last but not least, because I shop at Target so much, I once bought 5 items and walked away with EIGHT coupons. The machine spit out EIGHT coupons. That’s like finding a big ass diamond from coal. I feel your pain. I do.

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm — Reply

      EIGHT COUPONS??? Tell me your secrets! Teach me your ways!

    • October 3, 2013 at 11:10 am — Reply

      i’m getting stonger in target. i have private Target Anonymous while reviewing receipts after a trips there. i go back in that clearance section .. target doesn’t fool anyone! all those red labels … NOW $2.59 REG PRICE $2.99 That’s not real clearance Tarjay!!!

  8. Omolara
    October 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm — Reply

    I don’t think I;ve ever been to a Target and NOT walked out with anything – Target stays having my pockets on E..and I’m a clearance shopper. I know what days to go to get certain things you want on clearance and I’m hip the 8/4 rule.

    And it doesn’t help that every Target that I frequent has a Starbucks. Passion Iced Tea Lemonade is liquid crack.

    The struggle is TOO real.

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:49 pm — Reply

      I’ma need you not to know their schedule. You prolly got Google Calendar alerts. LOL

      • Omolara
        October 10, 2012 at 10:15 pm — Reply

        I can’t help it! It surfaced on Tumblr..and yes, I reblogged to share the wealth & ‘liked’ it too.

    • kristyn
      October 10, 2012 at 10:58 pm — Reply

      passion tea lemonade (sweetened please) is my LIFE!!
      i once walked into my local tar-zhay — that’s how we got it here in my little suburban town — and walked out empty-handed. i think i must have had malaria because for real i will go in there KNOWING i don’t have any room in my budget for nonsense, and walk out with $100 worth of miss jessie’s curl cream. what is wrong with that place?

      • MyMimeez
        June 13, 2014 at 2:12 am — Reply

        The struggle is too real. o_0

  9. Michele Sometimes
    October 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm — Reply

    Oh the escalator for the carts is amazing. I too clap like a seal. sometimes I don’t even have to go upstairs. Engineering magic!

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm — Reply

      Aren’t those cart escalators everything??? Science is awesome.

  10. RB
    October 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm — Reply

    See lI went 2 days ago for one thing…didnt get a cart or basket cause I told myself I didn’t need one. Ended up with my hands full 45 mins later. SMH

    • October 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm — Reply

      “Yeah, Im gonna get a basket, cause I’m not buying a bunch of stuff. Just this thing here. And….. oooh nail polish. Hmmm 2 for $10! I think I’ll get some shea butter. Do I have toothpaste? Well, it’s not like I won’t use it. Oh look, John Grisham has a new book out. These cd’s are only $9? I want a Snickers bar. Lemme get some kettle corn and a new movie and something to drink. And some socks. Oh, I like this cut of underwear. This basket is heavy, lemme get a cart.”

      • October 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm — Reply

        LMAOOOOOOO!!! This is so doggone accurate! You know ALL our lives!

      • Bukky
        October 11, 2012 at 1:27 am — Reply

        I will purposefully not even pick up a basket, I’m only there for one thing right? Naw, they get me every time, with their basket oasis in random places just when you need one, cause I’ll have 50 levem things in my hand.

        I went in for one toy for my nephew’s birthday. Walked out with lotion, windshield washer fluid, a necklace, milk, vanilla extract and snacks. I was so ashamed. And my Super Target has the full on grocery store in it, I’m liable to spend 3 hours in it and have noooo idea where the hell the time went!

        I’ve must’ve never been to Target on a Sunday because I went this past Sunday and said out loud where the hell all these folks come from? But once it was Packers game time, it was a ghost town.

        • DOminique
          October 11, 2012 at 12:38 pm — Reply

          Oh the BEST/WORST Sunday to go is Super Bowl Sunday. I went in there for some ziploc bags. It was so empty in there. Nothing but me and 4 other customers. LISTEN! I was walking zig zag through all the aisles. I felt like I was in the meadow in the Sound of Music! It was amazing! I spent $72 but it was amazing! *sighs*

      • Sparkle
        October 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm — Reply

        Ma’am, I need you to stop stalking me while I shop!!! Lol

      • Mel_H
        October 12, 2012 at 12:07 pm — Reply

        Nail on head, honey…. Nail. On. The. Head.

      • MobayGurl
        June 12, 2014 at 5:45 pm — Reply

        A real and HILARIOUS truth!

      • November 23, 2014 at 3:13 pm — Reply

        OK you ain’t gonna tell my story. No ma’am no no no ohhhh wait look at that TV…

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:52 pm — Reply

      See? All you do is end up walking through the store continually picking up stuff you drop. That no cart thing DOES NOT work.

  11. October 10, 2012 at 7:58 pm — Reply

    The Target struggle is R-E-A-L. I be runnin’ up in there free as a damn bird like I ain’t got no sense. Like, all I need is Clorox wipes, paper towels and mouthwash. Next thing I know I’m in the home department reconsidering everything I’ve got in my apartment and deciding right then and there I need to completely redecorate and I must buy the display ottoman I’m now perched on! I just….

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm — Reply

      HAAA! Not the display ottoman. And the bad part bout ottomans is you can put stuff INSIDE it. So it ends up encouraging your shopaholism. It’s just all a mess.

      • SherleeJo
        October 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm — Reply

        I’m eating a turkey burger AND fries while proping my legs up on my display ottoman. ALL from target. Even the damb ketchup. I’m losing at life.

  12. Negretta Stone
    October 10, 2012 at 8:01 pm — Reply

    I worked at Target for over a year. I won’t even act like 1/2 the money I earned didn’t go back into that store. And let’s not talk about how last August all the stores in the district threw everything on 70-80% off clearance. Yes I spent $300-400 in there that month….but I got 800-900 worth of stuff so…… (._. )

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm — Reply

      LOL! Yes. You TOTALLY won by only spending $400 and getting $900 worth of stuff. Says the fellow shopaholic. O_O

  13. Jocy
    October 10, 2012 at 8:01 pm — Reply

    I count it a success if I leave Target having spent less than $40. They even convinced me to get that Target debit card that helps me save 5%. I mean, the money is coming out of my bank account anyway. I should go ‘head and save that money! I have to make a Target run this weekend. I’m so scared.

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm — Reply

      Spending $40 at Target is like running the 100M dash in 7secs. That is a TRUE victory, dambit. Don’t let nobody steal your joy. You did GOOD!

  14. Lalarochelle
    October 10, 2012 at 8:01 pm — Reply

    The hair product isle gets me every time. I swear one time I spent 45 minutes looking at products. Tar-jay is the devil and that’s why the color is red.

    I think I’ve only been successful once or twice going in there and coming out with only exactly what I needed and nothing else

    • October 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm — Reply

      Every time I go to Target, I walk out w/ $50 worth of Shea Moisture stuff, as if I didn’t just buy another $60 worth the week before. Chile that hair aisle is not for the faint of heart.

  15. Monica
    October 10, 2012 at 8:11 pm — Reply

    when you go into Target (or even Wal-Mart) with the intent of buy only one thing, DO NOT get a CART…I repeat DO NOT get a cart! And don’t get one of those
    hand baskets either.

    This has half-helped me avoid the 1 item magically turning into 20 items trick..try it..it reduces it to the 1 turning into 5 items trick…because that’s all I can hold in my hands…unless I go to the make-up aisle.

  16. Dr. Kiti
    October 10, 2012 at 8:16 pm — Reply

    Welp…my mother and I go every Sunday after church. Even if we don’t NEED anything we figure we’ll find something we need once we get there…and we always do. I get so mad that I wanna fight the air when I go during the week while I’m on the clock and can’t find anything I want/need. I just be determined to walk out with something. If I don’t I’m the one that failed somehow, not beloved Target.

    • October 10, 2012 at 10:19 pm — Reply

      HA! “I have failed Target.” But really, it’s your wallet that has won. Look at it that way.

  17. HBSQ1
    October 10, 2012 at 8:20 pm — Reply

    Stands Up “Hi, I’m a Target Guest Fanatic” (Because we’re guest there, not just customers)

    If you are a true Target Guest Fanatic and want to CRY at the site of SO many red bulls-eyes, visit the Target mecca in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Headquarters and ground zero for my addictions. Minneapolis has Tar-get and Prince….go there and PayAmish!

    • Michele
      October 15, 2012 at 12:11 am — Reply

      You are bringing tears to my eyes. Tears of joy and tears of pain…that Target in Minneapolis AIN’T NO JOKE!!!! Can you explain to me why I felt the need to buy wine and martini glasses while on vacay?!?! We bought so many snacks we had to leave most of them behind…and how many sweaters does one need???

    • emti
      June 12, 2014 at 5:15 pm — Reply

      How can one city be so blessed???

  18. October 10, 2012 at 8:25 pm — Reply

    Don’t even get me started when they drop the Designer capsule collections. I’ll just go in for some sugar & get sidetracked by Missoni on a budget. And now you’re going home with artisanal crackers & adorable box wine. Cuz clearly you went in for wine in-a-box.

    • October 11, 2012 at 7:26 am — Reply

      Oh man. I am mostly Target-immune (because I’m cheap and because we don’t have a Super Target here; that would be a whole other story). But I showed up 10 minutes before the store opened on Missoni launch day to nab one of the espresso sets–one of only two that were sent to my Target. That remains one of my great shopping triumphs!

      Ran out of luck on Jason Wu for Target, though. Had to have an Internet friend send me a cat tote from Norman, OK.

  19. Tracey
    October 10, 2012 at 8:43 pm — Reply

    I used to work there and hated it. Swore I would never go back. 2 weeks later I was in there dropping $250 on some towels, a sippy cup (mind you I didn’t have not nan child), and a bedset that didn’t fit any bed in my house but was on sale and pretty. 8 years later, I still shop there weekly. My theory is that they pump crack through the vents.

    • Tamika
      October 10, 2012 at 11:20 pm — Reply

      Chile a sippy cup? And you didn’t have nary a child? LAWD, Tar-Jay got you wrap up, tied up, and tangled up… Just like me.
      I try the not getting a cart thing but I have four kids and we end up with all our arms full. Fail.

  20. sher
    October 10, 2012 at 8:55 pm — Reply

    I didn’t finish reading it yet, but I want to assure you that working at Target on a Sunday is about 3759276540864 times worse than shopping there on a Sunday is.

    Do y’all really have to dump the few things you talked yourself out of buying into the display cribs!?

    I get sucked in though. I go shopping without going home to change first. I put a jacket on ’cause y’all approach whether I’m wearing a name badge or not. Speaking of which, Idk why anyone would ever go to target in red and khaki.

  21. sher
    October 10, 2012 at 9:16 pm — Reply

    Y’all gotta go in there with only enough cash to buy what’s on your list. Unless you have a Red Card. If you have a Red Card, good luck to you.

  22. Milaxx
    October 10, 2012 at 9:19 pm — Reply

    You think Sunday is bad. try 10am on a weekday! Folks supposed to be at work and kids supposed to be in school, but target is packed like they giving away gov’ment cheese. I once went in to get cat food and pick up my prescription. I walked out with an outfit and a week’s worth of groceries.

  23. Imperfect
    October 10, 2012 at 9:44 pm — Reply

    Lol. This is hilarious! So true.
    I swear, I LIVE in Target. I pay rent too!
    Couple weeks ago, I went to get some toothpaste. Left with $80 in stuff that wasn’t toothpaste! Got home, took off my clothes, laid in my bed and realized I didn’t get the toothpaste. No worries though, I’ll be back tomorrow. Lol.
    I even tried trickin myself…I’m only gonna grab a basket. Halfway through the store, my basket is full, my arms are full. And people don’t leave empty carts at Target, so I had to mosey on to the front of the store to get one.
    …And I just got my Red Card! It’s all downhill from here

  24. October 10, 2012 at 9:55 pm — Reply

    My name is Brownbelle and I’m a Target addict. *hangs head in shame*

    I’m in my last year of grad school and beginning the process of changing my wardrobe to 75% work appropriate clothes, 25% fun clothes (*wall slide* as I say goodbye to my sneakers). The mall is clearly out of my budget but I think hey, Target always has stuff on sale! But instead of the $15 top and $20 pants I intended to buy I always come out with $50-70 worth of extra random stuff. The worst part is it all gets used! And now they’ve got me hooked on their extra delicious Target brand Lemon Blueberry Crisp cereal that I can’t buy anywhere else, which guarantees I go there at least once a month. Lord, lead us not into temptation…!!!!!!

    • Omolara
      October 10, 2012 at 10:21 pm — Reply

      I LOVE that cereal!
      Jesus, don’t get me started on the fact they have my Smooth & Minties candies for $2 (I went to the Target up the street from my house four times in ONE day just for them.)

  25. BE
    October 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm — Reply

    This is why I no longer appreciate target gift cards. That $50 just cost me an additional $75. The lighting in there is so beautiful. Well lit aisles and ish. The carts are so easy to maneuver. You find yourself gliding and doing jete’s through the aisles. And then you get to the make up section and find ELF products on sale. I have 5 of the same gaddamn foundation brush. Sigh!

  26. C
    October 10, 2012 at 10:52 pm — Reply

    I AM CRYING!!! I went to Tarjay today for leave in conditioner… Came out with a scarf, some boots, Tide pods, and lotion lol

    Thank gwad I got my leave in tho lol smdh

  27. justlikehoney1
    October 11, 2012 at 12:43 am — Reply

    I go faithfully every year on the day after Christmas. That’s how I stock up on their beautiful holiday decorations for at least half the cost.

  28. October 11, 2012 at 1:59 am — Reply

    I went into one of those new City Targets for gum. $83 later… *cries*

    • CityGirl81
      June 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm — Reply

      City Target stays taking my money, but the one of Roosevelt, OMG I don’t even try to go in with a budget. I fail every single time!

  29. paintgurl40
    October 11, 2012 at 7:16 am — Reply

    i live 2 blocks away from a target in my suburb and the employees know me. i’m going back on payday to get some slip covers and body pillows…y’all pray for me!!!

  30. Bri
    October 11, 2012 at 8:07 am — Reply

    Yes….Tar-Jay will get you everytime, thought I could beat the trick by not grabbing a cart….yeah, no didn’t work

    Another one is Walmart, I swear fo goodness everytime I go in there for one thing…let’s say a female item I walk out with graceries, jewelry boxes, dvds and a subway sandwich (cause mines has subway in it)…..yeah got to pay them bills first for sure!

  31. Elle
    October 11, 2012 at 8:37 am — Reply

    LMAO! I don’t even have a target where I live (yet…they took out all the Zellers to build Targets) but I laughed so hard it hurt. Great post!

  32. Bethany
    October 11, 2012 at 9:17 am — Reply

    I live w/in 20 minutes of 3 Targets – one down the street from my apt, one near the metro where I get on the shuttle for my job, and one near the metro on the way home. It is NOT pretty.

  33. Robin J.
    October 11, 2012 at 9:40 am — Reply

    I just moved into my 1st house. I have made it my business to stay the hell away from Target for now (although I did go in there about 2 weeks ago to purchase a new shower curtain and hooks for my guest bathroom). I know that I am going to fall prey to it real soon. I need to take someone with me to keep me on task…..

    Target is EVIL and must be stopped at all costs!!

  34. Joana
    October 11, 2012 at 10:34 am — Reply

    Oh Pinterest, how you rob original artists of their credit!

    The Target cartoon came from here:

    http://crappypictures.com/2012/02/shopping-at-target.html

  35. October 11, 2012 at 10:57 am — Reply

    Target is my Kryptonite!
    Luv girl you are so right, there is some straight JuJu in those aisles!

    I started my own beauty business.. I no longer hunt for body scrub and come out with 5 work out dvds ( which I don’t watch)

  36. Lacie
    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm — Reply

    I thought I was the only person who felt this way about target!!!! I love that place. When I get bored, I go there just to look around and end up spending $100+!!!

    • Lacie
      October 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm — Reply

      Oh! And God forbid the ELF products on sale!!!! You would think I was on one of those shopping spree tv shows. I just take my entire arm and glide it and all the products across the display into my buggy. and yes, I’m from the south where its a buggy and not a cart! LOL

  37. Christina
    October 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm — Reply

    I have one word……CLEARANCE! I have a plan when I walk in that requires me to walk around the perimeter of the store where every endcap is….cuz the clearance stuff is there. I love clearance stuff at Target! I am already trying to decide what time I am going tomorrow because……..I didn’t go last weekend and I am going through withdrawal!!!!! And I have an excuse to go…..my daughter is coming home from college for fall break (she is a freshman) and I am pretty sure she didn’t leave a toothbrush at home (actually I haven’t checked but who cares)….so, I need to go get her one. So what if I come out of the store with a few (usually around 10) clearance items that were not on my list (or any list I have every compiled), as long as I have a purpose it is ok. Right?

    • October 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm — Reply

      Yes!! It’s the damn clearance!! How can I NOT buy a $10 pair of gold glitter heels?? And $2 earrings?? And $5 DVDs?? They are practically begging me to buy something. If it’s THAT cheap, it must be a sign that I was supposed to buy it, right?? Right?? Sigh.

      • October 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm — Reply

        “How can I NOT buy a $10 pair of gold glitter heels??”

        Are you gonna rock these on a pole? I’m asking. For reasons. lol

    • Cheekie
      October 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm — Reply

      Target’s clearance is the 2012 version of manna, I tell ya.

  38. legitimate_soul
    October 11, 2012 at 12:40 pm — Reply

    Dammit, if this ain’t the truth and I haven’t said this many times! Target is the Debil! Target be like “Run yo’ shyt!” I went to get 4 things and spent $150 dollars and forget one of the 4 things I came in there for! Targets in Cali got wine and beer. I’ll buy a bottle of wine to drank at the house after I finish my shopping there. Oh, and don’t hit the Target that has groceries because you talk yourself into doing your grocery shopping there and “saving time and doing it all in one place”. You came in there to get trash bags and toilet tissue and you over in the clothing section looking at “Honey Badger Don’t Care!!!” t-shirts. Mayne. I feel like Roberta Flack in the “Killing Me Softly Song”. Luvvie over here strumming my pain with her keyboard, LOL!

  39. October 11, 2012 at 12:43 pm — Reply

    Truth upon truth upon truth! The Target near me in Brooklyn has to be the worst one in the state but does it stop me from dropping over 150 bones every time? No not never. They just started carrying the refillible CO2 canisters from my SodaStream so I roll in last week to get my exchange canister and some moisturizer.

    2.5 hrs & 100 bones later and I have no canister & no moisturizer. I do have a liter bottle of conditioner, shower curtains, cheese, tortillas, sheets & printer ink cartridges. And I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.

    Shameful.

  40. VROSHELL
    October 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm — Reply

    The fact that i read this just as i was about to go to target on my lunchbreak ….. stoped me dead in my tracks…THANKS!!!

  41. Tashieka
    October 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm — Reply

    i’m part of the problem why the parking lot is always full.
    i go on sundays and my store opens at 8am. i like to get there at 7:50 and go thru my coupons….Target is magical.

    • October 11, 2012 at 5:23 pm — Reply

      SO IT’S YOU! You’re the parking space hoarder! But I can’t blame you doe. You gotta get there early for prime spot. You put in work so I can’t hate.

  42. October 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm — Reply

    Target is high class rich folks drugs while Walmart is when you naked in the fetal position on meth, lol lol

    Tar’jay just wraps it self around you like that fur on Rick Ross.

    I always like it when they check out machine asks you do you want this on one card. They give you options to run up ALL YO CARDS!!

    • Christina
      October 11, 2012 at 2:22 pm — Reply

      OMG!!!! I forgot about that. How you gonna give me the option to spread my purchase out among cards. They really do have a plan.

    • October 11, 2012 at 5:22 pm — Reply

      “Target is high class rich folks drugs while Walmart is when you naked in the fetal position on meth”

      LMAOOOOOOOO!!! WalMart does make you feel dirty afterwards. But Target? It calls you the next day and says your eyes are pretty.

      • Crim5onViolet
        October 15, 2012 at 8:41 pm — Reply

        “It calls you the next day and says your eyes are pretty.”

        Ma’am…

        #iDied #BuryMeAG… in a fresh #alphet from Tar-zhay LOL!!!

      • Syrich
        June 12, 2014 at 5:26 pm — Reply

        OMG!!!!! I have laid down on my job and laughed as hard and loud as anyone can but should not do on their job.

        You right Luvvie, Walmart do make you feel all shamed and regretful, but Target, now Target treat ya like a lady, all special. Target leaves the lights on and talks all sweet to you while it —– you.

  43. October 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm — Reply

    I went to Target to pick up the SheaMoisture body products. Oh just 1 thing…………..bought the ENTIRE LINE OF PRODUCTS. That joint was damn near $500. I kid you NOT. I got smell good for the rest of the century. Not to mention..they got the nerve to have “real designers” up in that piece. Yeah I needed that Missoni neck warmer and them Cynthia ROwley pants. *sigh*

    • October 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm — Reply

      I LOVE ME SOME SHEA MOISTURE!!! And yes, I also got their entire line. B/c Target got them in that bright display and they glow. That’s how they get us.

  44. RP14_96
    October 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm — Reply

    This post gave me what I needed!!! I haven’t been to Target this month, and my wallet thanks me!! I can’t go in there for less than $75, and that is when I was going in for 1 thing and 1 thing only!!

    I’m am always picking up a random shirt or dress from there…but the upside is whenever I wear these items, I ALWAYS get compliments!

    • October 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm — Reply

      Target’s alphets DO be CURTE though. I got hella cardigans from there and they fit me like gloves for my BODEH!

      • RP14_96
        October 12, 2012 at 11:32 am — Reply

        EXACTLY…and their accessories!!!

  45. Lea
    October 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm — Reply

    Yea Target is my weakness..you can find me trolling through the clearance racks for the best bargains..I’ll even buy maternity clothes and I’m not pregnant..

  46. Nadz
    October 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm — Reply

    I must possess the tar-jay cure in my blood then, because I walk in and walk out with absolutely nothing but what I came to get. Black Friday I went for a camera and came out…with a camera. But DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON WALMART (my life’s weakness)!!!

  47. theINTELLECT
    October 12, 2012 at 12:07 am — Reply

    Hi, my name is theINTELLECT and it has been 1 month and 5 days since I last went to Target. The cycle of financial abuse stops now.

  48. CHAOTIC_ONE
    October 12, 2012 at 6:45 am — Reply

    omg yall aint isshhh i got a damn target list wrote out now and im scared as hell! Im thinking about sending my boyfriend in for the stuff while I wait in the car…but I think that devil bulls eye isnt the only thing they use to get u to shop like nobodys business. every target i ever been to has the same damn smell…mix of starbucks, fresh popped popcorn and pizza you cant think with those feel good aromas floating in the air….and the lighting is a beast in target i go and try something on alllllllllll of it makes me look like i can chill with A-list clebs smh sad i know….and I use to be a walmart addict but then they built the target less than 5 minutes from my house and its a super target and its been down hill from there. and you want to know something super crazy they have coupons they can send directly to your smart phone and you can also get a giftcard this way…they be up in there scanning your damn phone screens….target is taking over the world yall!

    • CHAOTIC_ONE
      October 12, 2012 at 6:49 am — Reply

      i just looked down and realized im wearing target everything at work right now….i look fab yes but i know this has to stop…*rubs on soft sweater fabric* :)

  49. October 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm — Reply

    No, this is when it’s sad. When we DRIVE BY ANT Target my three year old gets excited saying “Mommy! Let’s go to the circle dot store!!!” because he KNOWS the money jumps out my pockets and me/my mom/my mother in law/my sister/or even my husvand will buy him SOMETHING/ANYTHING!

  50. October 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm — Reply

    ANY*

  51. kaykay37
    October 14, 2012 at 10:49 am — Reply

    Went to Target to grab a few items. Messed around and took the kids. Have no idea what I spent $200 on. Then at checkout the cashier gives me a buy one drink get one drink free coupon from Starbucks. Hope those lattes will provide all the vitamins and minerals I need this week cuz I spent my damn lunch money for the week in that $200

  52. Dyma
    October 14, 2012 at 8:05 pm — Reply

    Pray for me when Target makes it’s arrival to Canada next year, lord knows Wal Mart has me doing the same thing x__x

  53. CHAOTIC_ONE
    October 15, 2012 at 6:51 am — Reply

    Like a crazy person i went to target after reading this post and didnt send my babe in to get the stuff…. 134.54 cents and I cant pinpoint exactly what I bought all I know is I got sandwich meat and hair products :(

  54. J.Y. Mills
    October 16, 2012 at 10:20 am — Reply

    I am SO glad I’m not the only one. LMAO!

  55. October 18, 2012 at 5:52 am — Reply

    Yes you are right. I always made a plan for shopping but not always my plan for shopping is fail because of so many reason.This thing can happen with all people not the only one.

  56. Malange
    October 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm — Reply

    AMEN to this whole post! Go in for 2 things.. come out with 20!

  57. October 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm — Reply

    […] Shopping Confessions [ 0 ] October 18, 2012 | Luvvie Last week, I wrote about how there’s voodoo at Target because you walk in for some toothpaste and come out with everything BUT. I had no clue so many […]

  58. April
    October 27, 2012 at 8:00 pm — Reply

    I feel like I’ve found my own little community reading these comments. You get me, lol

  59. Margaret
    January 6, 2013 at 2:49 pm — Reply

    Forget Disneyland … Target is the happiest place on earth. I’m addicted, they know it.

    And then they opened one that’s walking distance from my house *faint*

  60. Trina
    January 6, 2013 at 2:51 pm — Reply

    When I was in high school and I first got my car I used to go to Target if I was bored. I’d be like “ill find something”. I’d come home with new stuff for the house. My mom would be like where did these lamp come from.

    And the worse part is that the sales associates aren’t even trying to upsale you. All the damage you’ve done is your own fault.

  61. KemaB
    January 6, 2013 at 6:41 pm — Reply

    I’ve finally stopped lying to myself with lists/no carts or baskets I’m addicted and I will lose my shirt in that god forsaken haven of shopping delight. My husband said to me the other day we went in “if we are getting detergent why we walking down the clothes aisle” hashtag busted ~__~ I’m a sucker for the red dot!!

  62. mmeetoilenoir
    February 26, 2013 at 1:37 am — Reply

    A few weeks ago, I went into the shiny new City Target on State St. for some travel-sized toiletries and contact solution. Within the hour, I was in the dressing room trying on a girdle/shaper thingy. Why???? I wear a size small, so I don’t even NEED a girdle. SMDH! Damn you to the depths, Target!

  63. Iiona V
    July 17, 2013 at 12:03 am — Reply

    Case in point, I went to Trajay with my girlpies Saturday JUST to get some pull-ups and some wipes. Well while we are there we decided to check out the shoe section…

    HOT DAYUM we hit the freaking Goldmine, all the dayum shoes was on clearance. I mean like $3.88 for a pair of super cute little girl shoes and my girlpies are excited asking, “Can we try on these and these too momma?” Each new pair they try on they like, “Oh we getting these too.” Well I happen to go look in the boys section, cause you know I gots a son at home and he can’t be left out. I find a pair of shoes I think he would like and calls my husband and is like, “We is at Tarjay, what size does the boy wear” He is all like what Tarjay you at, I’m like the one over here and he’s all like we on our way see ya’ll in a minute… *happy dance ensues*

    Well he walks in and is all loud and proclaiming, “I’m only here for some flip flops!” *side eye, yeah ok hunny!*… needless to say each girl walked out with 4 new pairs of shoes, the boy got a pair, daddy got a pair, and… we redecorated 3 bathrooms in our house (towels, towel holders, baskets, trash cans, toothbrush holders) you know the whole shabang! I also got all party supplies for my baby girls birthday party and some snacks to eat on while we was there, and we found some cute clothes too. Needless to say we walked out about $400 lighter.

    Yeah, Target’s the devil and my husband fell for the whole I’m only here to get flip flops talk…

    • Diane
      November 26, 2013 at 1:16 pm — Reply

      Hilarious!

  64. Felicia
    November 26, 2013 at 12:46 pm — Reply

    It’s like I’ve never seen eyeliner, nail polish and lipstick before. I go in there and get a bunch of crap that wasn’t even on my list. Oh wait. I don’t even make a list to go in there. See? I feed my own stupid habit. Sheesh.

  65. RiettaLynn
    November 26, 2013 at 1:04 pm — Reply

    Went to get the Kiddo [aged 3] winter clothes Saturday…spent over $900, BUT used my cartwheel, and debit card, and saved over $100 so…yeah, I said it…I AM BAD…then went back the next day to get more stuff…glanced at the sweaters…40% OFF THRU THE 30TH…lets be real…I use sweaters at work throughout the winter, summer, fall, and spring…YAY TARGET! I WON!! [Until my husband tells me to stoppit…but then I find something for him…and all is well in the world]

  66. Idreaminchanel
    November 26, 2013 at 1:09 pm — Reply

    First. This post brought a tear of joy to my eye! My best friend on maternity leave, but shopping for a snowsuit for her son. When I asked where they going. She replied for lunch dates to Target. And all I could do was co-sign. Like yeah girl. Target is the spot. Or the Red Dot boutique as we call it.

    I stay spending $75 consistenly on socks, magazines and whatever else my eyes fall on. And ALWAYS forget to get the tissue paper I walked in there for.

  67. November 26, 2013 at 1:37 pm — Reply

    TarJay has a special hook to get you in the store. THE PHARMACY. I called my prescription in the night before and requested a NOON pick up. I get there at 1pm to make sure its ready – Chaos and Havoc (my kids) are in the cart – b/c if they’re in the cart there’s no room for anything else right? I roll on over to the PHARMACY – tell them my name and I’m told that the prescription won’t be ready for another 20mins. WHAT????!!!! ITS.A. PLOY. ‘Cause you know I’m not going to go back home and come back in 20min. I’ll just push Chaos and Havoc around the store in the cart. OH look mommy, mickey mouse hand soap we NEED THAT! plink. Can we go to the Easter/Halloween/Christmas ISLE??? PLEASE?? plink, plink, plink. OH look mommy they’ve got x and its on sale!!! plink . Can we go look at the toy isle??? Sure but first we need to check out prices on crock pots – our 2nd one in two years broke….Oh is that a new spill proof coffee mug – I NEED THAT – plink. OWE Mom there’s no place for us to sit anymore there’s too much stuff in the cart. Damn how’d that happen… oh yeah – we need to go pick up that prescription….. takes elevator back down b/c you get the evil eye if you put a cart on the escalator w/kids in it. 45 minutes after I walked in to Tarjay – I pick up a prescription that cost $400. The TARGET PHARMACY will get you EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

  68. Bola
    November 26, 2013 at 2:44 pm — Reply

    Target sure do use Vodoo on people, otherwise how else do I explain going there to buy “only” I repeat “only”thermal wear for my daughter and ended up buying a whole bunch of stuff. I even went in with my son in his stroller trying to avoid using the cart for shopping. But I filled every inch of that stroller up with stuff. Even the cup holder was not spared. Good lord! Lol!!!

  69. Emarvelous
    November 26, 2013 at 3:48 pm — Reply

    I’m going to help you out here. Because there IS a way to cut down on the foolishness. You think the name of the store is Target. No … YOU are the Target. Unless you fortify yourself! And one good way to do that is

    Target.com

    Now, I know you’re wondering, How does going to this website keep me from buying things? Trust me, it works.

    The devil’s greatest trick is showing you everything you didn’t even know you wanted, and that is the core of the Target experience. That fucking chevron teapot never crossed your mind until you walked down Aisle 13. Then you find yourself wanting to get all organized, because you were probably watching HGTV and there was a Target commercial and that’s how you got here in the first place. So now you need to buy polka dot contact paper to line your cabinets.

    But what if you saw all of these things BEFORE you actually got to Target? Chevron teapot ain’t so special when it’s on the screen for $27.99. YOU KNOW THAT AIN’T RIGHT! And now you can tell yourself, “I don’t need this!” — and mean it — when you get to the store and see it in person.

    Just scroll through all kinds of categories on the website while you’re watching television and in no time, you will have seen most of what Target has to offer that you know you don’t need. You beat the voodoo trap of not seeing this shit for the first time, and now you won’t want it! And while everyone else is up in there losing their minds, you’re whistling “No Worries” and walking out of there having not lost your entire paycheck or Sunday and giving Target the finger in the parking lot.

  70. November 26, 2013 at 3:48 pm — Reply

    OH EM GEE – you have hit the nail on the head… This is me EVERY time – EVERY SINGLE TIME. Thanks to you I now know why and I can be prayed up and oiled down for my next visit! LOL!!! Loved this post because it is nothing but the truth!

  71. Marqui Rayshel
    November 26, 2013 at 4:56 pm — Reply

    As someone mentioned the other day, just go in there withOUT a basket…. HA! If it were only that easy! I end up looking like an idiot holding items in my armpits cause my hands are full, along with how I cleverly manage to stack things in my arms up to my neck. Once you enter the parking lot it’s over. You are either going on a shopping spree, or just stay away, FAR, FAR, away!

  72. […] know about my love for Target, cuz I wrote a post wondering what voodoo Target does to keep us in their store for hours. Or the fact that you go in for a hair clip and come out with a […]

  73. […] the Bennus and the entire Oyin Handmade team because TARJAY! You’re already familiar with my love of Target so you should know why I’m excited that one of my favorite lines will be […]

  74. Bobbie C
    June 12, 2014 at 1:54 pm — Reply

    Every time I go into Target, I’m shocked when it’s time to pay. The cashiers all look at me like…” yeah, act like you don’t know this store is the devil…” Last time I went to get razors, spent almost $200 and forgot the razors. And yes, I sure did go back for them.

    • Syrich
      June 12, 2014 at 5:16 pm — Reply

      LOL. It never ever fails that when I check out, I stand at the cashier for an extra 5 minutes stairing at my receipt, because I am sure they have made a mistake and overcharged me.

      Hi, my name is ______ and I have a probem. I like to go in Target when there is hardly anyone else shopping and I have the store all to myself. I walk up and down the isles with my mouth open in awe of its glory. And I know that each and every item I choose will change my life for the better. I become higher and higher with each step down each wonderful isle, selecting all those must have items. It is not until I am home looking at my bank account which usually sobers me right up and make me ask, “Why the hell did I just spend all my money on this sh#t?”

      Now when I pass by Target I clutch my purse very tight against my body like they might try to snatch it. Yeah that Target monkey is real.

  75. Ty S.
    June 12, 2014 at 2:15 pm — Reply

    That illustration came from one of my other favorite blogs, crappypictures.com LOL She’s hilarious.

    Whenever I go to Target, I have to all of a sudden develop a case of tunnel vision and will my eyes to become product seeking missles. Don’t look to the left or the right. Just got for what you came for. It don’t always work tho -_-

  76. Aris
    June 12, 2014 at 2:23 pm — Reply

    Man! I swear I thought I was the only one! So I’m not crazy then. Its worst when you have a kid. My god… It never fails to walk in for one item and come out with 3 bags and done spent my life savings. My boyfriend tries to ban me from going because he knows the outcome.. and That high that you are speaking of is the TRUTH! Lord help us all

  77. Gemsmom
    June 12, 2014 at 2:24 pm — Reply

    I have to leave my checkbook anc debit card at home when I go to the Red Dot Boutique. I take only the amount of cash I need for the things on my list, my coupons and my driver’s license. THAT IS IT!! If I take anything else, my kids may not eat. They’ll have cute #alphets and movies to watch, but no nourishment.

    • lexi
      June 12, 2014 at 4:40 pm — Reply

      Sweet baby Jesus i though I was the only one who did this! If I don’t lock my debit card in the car I’ll spend my last dollars on things I don’t need. And the Starbucks/Pizza Hut attachments? Why are they providing nourishment like this is a theme park?! I go in, stop for some popcorn and a slushy before I begin playing Targets mind games. My life is a lie…

      And I love the “Red Dot Boutique” title, that had me hollering!

  78. lamar
    June 12, 2014 at 2:32 pm — Reply

    OH LAWD Luvvie you got me giggling and crying on my damb job. Then I got to the comments was completely laid out. Nothing like a good belly laugh to end the workday. Thank y’all. Whew!

  79. LeeLee
    June 12, 2014 at 3:35 pm — Reply

    The Target struggle stays hella real. Recently I went in for some body wash and came out with a dress, a book, some popsicles, some lightbulbs, a pair of false eyelashes, and a birthday card for I-don’t-know-who cause ain’t nobody’s birthday coming up. Oh, and a candle, because who can resist a good smelling candle. I don’t even know, man. I think it’s a secret tool of the Illuminati. While we’re in there shopping our bank accounts dry they are pumping subliminal secret oaths of lifelong loyalty through the sound system. That’s why Beyonce is so popular. Illuminati-Target tells us to love her.

  80. June 12, 2014 at 6:17 pm — Reply

    You betta hope your check/debit/credit card is safe…I’m just sayin’…

  81. Cece Gonz
    June 12, 2014 at 9:36 pm — Reply

    The Red dot of evil doesn’t work on men tho. My husband can go in there and spend nan dollar.

  82. November 23, 2014 at 2:44 pm — Reply

    Lmao this was so on point. My life every damn weekend. I get groceries there too sometimes so I get caught up justifying my need to go lol.

  83. Shay DeShade
    November 23, 2014 at 6:18 pm — Reply

    This totally cracked me up!

    And they are working the sharp tips to get us to get that Red Card. The cashier at my store in Chicago was about to bring me personally to Jesus if I would just sign up for that damb 5 percent.

    I did resist, though. The card, not the bag of Reese’s peanut butter trees. #noshame

  84. Vista
    November 23, 2014 at 6:34 pm — Reply

    The Red Dot Boutique mesmerizes me at the door with the smell of that show popcorn thT I get before I get my shopping cart. The balance on my red card was $2000…. For toilet paper? #paidoff #cutup #saynotoredcard

  85. November 24, 2014 at 12:27 am — Reply

    My sister and I figured it out. Stealing a line from Dave Chappelle, we’ve figured out that they sprinkle some crack over your head as you walk through the door. You don’t see it or feel it, but it’s being sprinkled. You’re happy, eager to shop, the music is pumping and money is no object. New Swiffer? Sure. Another pair of black pants, kitten heel flats, underwear, all necessary. Head on over to the cosmetics and your euphoric abandon reaches levels one only reads about. Float on over to home decor and furniture and next thing you know you have several people scuttling around you wth palettes containing wall mirrors, a side table, and a wine refrigerator. Maybe another crock pot is in order; perhaps some new dishes. Not unlike Cinderella, you start to feel ‘something’ coming on, so you know it’s time to check out before it’s too late. I check my receipt for the little arrows that indicate what was on sale, and I think I did pretty good even though I came in only to buy Tide pods and toilet paper…toilet paper. Wayment. Oh well, I can stop at the dollar store on the way home for that.

  86. Lainee
    November 24, 2014 at 4:39 pm — Reply

    I KNOW they play a subliminal message that we are unable to hear….BUY! BUY! BUY! I had to take serious action. My rule is, “NEVER, EVER GET A SHOPPING CARD AT TARGET!!” When your arms are full you leave! You would be amazed and impressed by how much I have learned to balance, though.

  87. November 25, 2014 at 9:36 pm — Reply

    Target is bad, admittedly so. I don’t even go there anymore cause it was fucking up my finances. But IKEA… I once stayed in there so long, I ate three meals in the cafeteria.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>