Whose Stingy Ponytail is This?
Ok look. Everyone ain’t meant to have long flowing, luxurious hair. This is why Jesus invented weave. For those who want long hair without the hassle. Yes, He did. Look in the book of Yakiastes. It’s right there.
But there’s nothing wrong with short hair. Especially when the person who has it knows that. Now, below is someone who does NOT know it. And see what happens when denial takes over.
O_____________O Ma’am. Madame. Mademoiselle. You sat there and put this 1 inch of hair you had into a ponytail. And when it did end up in the rubberband, she didn’t mind ONE bit that it looks like a paintbrush. Or even better, an eye shadow brush. Is that MAC brush 46? I’m saying. This ponytail is so damb stingy. I bet kids call her “bald-head scallywag” in school. Do kids still say scallywag? Prolly not. O_O
And let’s not e’em talk about how PARCHED the hair is. GAHT! Her coif looks like they hay in the middle of the barn. Just twiggy and dry for life. I wanna spray some extra virgin olive oil on her whole head so she can moisturize her situation. Her segzy is HELLA compromised when she’s walking around with hair that looks like burnt matches.
I know how she got to where she is today though. By perming her hair within an inch of its weak ass life at home without e’em tryna act like there’s instructions on the box. This is what happens when you decide “oh I can do it by myself” or “my mama who is also bald can do it for me.” It pays to go to a licensed cosmetologist, y’all!
So yeah, which one of your cousins is this? And why didn’t one of y’all try to tell her that when your ponytail looks like a paintbrush soaked in nail polish remover, you might wanna chill on it. Chile… WOMP. Homegirl tried it. (-__o)