I was minding my own business on Twitter when someone RTed Wyclef “Took ALL our monies” Jean. Apparently, today is his birthday, and to celebrate, he is
blessing cursing us all with this picture of him:
I need someone to explain to me why the hell Wyclef is in a speedo, oiled up and sitting on a Ducati bike. I NEED EXPLANATIONS.
There are so many things I have a problem with in this picture. One of them is that I didn’t ask to ever see Wyclef naked. That was not on my list of “must sees” before the Lawd calls me home from this Earth. NO MA’AMS or SIRS!
Furthermore, why is he all greasy? Did he swan dive in a deep frier? Well, no. He couldn’t have. Because only his top half is greasy. He’s looking like ASH BE HERE from the waist down and I’m wondering why. Did he run out of crisco? Was his baby oil gel only enough for his top? His knees look like he’s been praying on a flour mat and I’m not pleased.
What is happening here and why is it happening?
AND THEN, the fact that he accompanied the pic with this tweet:
Girl STAWP. The only way you look 26 is if 26 looks 45. That is the ONLIEST way. But happy birthday, doe. (-_-)
Someone tell Wyclef that ain’t nobody here for this at all. We’re still wondering where he put all the money we all donated to YELE Haiti after the earthquake. That’s ALL I need to hear and see from Wyclef are RECEIPTS. Not pictures of him looking like a WWF reject on an expensive bike. Outchea looking like mid-life crisis epitomized.
NAWL, WYCLEF JEAN. No damb country for you and this attempt at soul glo. Just greasy and aimless. (-__-)
Lauryn Hill is somewhere wearing ALL HER CLOTHES at once and Wyclef takes off all of his. Life ain’t fair sometimes.
So umm… what gift do y’all wanna give to Wyclef for his birthday? I wanna get him a clue. And some clothes to put on and leave on.
The internet has brought us the pics below and I. AM. CRYING.
Category: Famous folks