Videos

Because Chicken is Worthy of Praise and Worship

No less than 10 people have sent me a link to this video, dubbed the “Chicken Gospel” and it took me a while but I finally watched it. And let me tell you, it took me 10 minutes because I kept on pausing it to laugh. This. is. hilarity.

The first couple of lines had me laughing so hard I had to pause the video to collect myself and wipe tears away. “How do you want it, I want it fried. How do you like it? I like it with rice.” Listen, this is a song I can get behind! This woman GETS ME. She’s strumming my greed with her gospel and I am here for it.

This woman is singing to chicken like it paid her car note and gave her a backrub! She is PASSIONATE bout her poultry. She even closed her eyes to hit them notes, and you know that’s that se’ous sanging.

Furthermore, she don’t want beef, ham, turkey or fish. NAWL, those are some counterfeits. SHE WANTS HER CHICKEN!!!

chicken wing platter

But what slayed me the most is the fact that she took this song to church and started halleluyahing. And talmbout how God gave the chicken two thighs and two wings and two BREASTESES. “I believe the chicken died so we might live.” ARE YOU CALLING CHICKEN CHRIST??? And did chicken eat itself at the Last Supper? I’m concerned and I have questions.

Ma’am, are you doing praise and worship OVER CHICKEN?? LAWD, I am expecting Sister O’Dell to emerge from the background collecting tithes. And I might give an offering because homegirl is SANGING. You know she’s suppressing all urges to get up and  church scoot!

Church Scoot gif

I’ve had some BOMB chicken in my day but no bird has ever made me wanna catch the holy ghost like this. Have I been living wrong? Am I outchea losing? Do I need to ask her what sanctified poultry she’s been consuming? Because it seems like it’s touched her to her core.

And then she ends it with a “Fat Girl Benediction.”

LMAO!!! iCan’t. I’m unable. I’m unable to can. I have lost all ability to can.

She called on Matthew 4:4 talmbout “Man cannot live on bread alone.” Yes, so chicken is naturally the other food the Good Book was talmbout that we need to live. Lots of chicken. And the devil ain’t gon stop her from her collards and mac and cheese. NO, HE WON’T!

“I wanna be thick for you, LAWD. Don’t lemme die skinny, Jesus. Pass the butter, Jesus.” This is my exact prayer every night before I go to bed. How’d she know? O___O

“All I need is a quarter piece, Jesus.” Girl, me too.

One thing I know is that I’m hungry after listening to that song. She talmbout mashed potatoes, gravy. “Wings on a chicken, breasts on a chicken…”

WHOOO LAWDT! And the runs at the end. Listen. LMAOOOOOOOO! This whole video. Is a complete mess and I am CACKLING at it.
Is eating chicken a holy experience for you? Do you GET her?

24 Comments

  1. Margaret
    November 16, 2012 at 9:07 am — Reply

    Chicken is the way, the truth, and the light. My sister was recently in a club in DC and instead of sending her a drink, a man in the club sent her some honey BBQ chicken wings. Though she doesn’t agree, I say he’s a keeper.

    • FelicityR
      November 16, 2012 at 9:32 am — Reply

      You know what? I don’t think I’m mad at that. No, not mad at all…

    • November 16, 2012 at 11:24 am — Reply

      Your sister is letting her blessings slip right through her un-sauced fingers! If I already have a drink, what’s wrong with an enterprising young gentleman sending me a snack?!

      I like the cut of his jib! LOL

      • Tiffany A
        November 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm — Reply

        That man wanted a woman with meat on her bones. To turn away the chicken is to say that she is a bit to skinty for his liking! LOL

      • Stace
        November 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm — Reply

        Yes yes I guess he’s thinking a bird in your hand might help his chance of being in the bush..

        • minacakes
          November 16, 2012 at 7:45 pm — Reply

          ok Stace…..you win.

        • TeeNikki
          November 21, 2012 at 12:34 am — Reply

          #slain

    • Thatchic
      November 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm — Reply

      Baybey! I would have licked my fingers all seductive like and winked at him. Excuse me waitress can you take back to him this basket of bones and my phone number. Thank you.

  2. @DarthJaeda
    November 16, 2012 at 9:09 am — Reply

    You know The Bird has got your soul when you pull up to the chicken spot, it’s closed, and “I asked for the manager Joe.” AND THEY GAVE HER SOME CHICKEN.

    Forget getting on the Oscars red carpet again, you need to learn her ways, Luvvie, because if you can persuade fast food service workers to continue serving you after their shift is over, you can achieve greatness.

    • Shawn
      November 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm — Reply

      I AM DEAD AT THIS COMMENT!

  3. Demond
    November 16, 2012 at 9:12 am — Reply

    Good God almighty! She should be my future wife, I can jut imagine getting a scalp rub and thinking its blue magic or lusters pink oil moisturizer – naw that’s greasy chicken finger! This is what God designed singing for to show complete and total adoration. I took personal offense to anyone that didn’t enjoy this as much as I did!

  4. Honeybee1983
    November 16, 2012 at 9:42 am — Reply

    I’m so done right now. Real tears, real tears I tell you!!!! This guhl done got the holy ghost behind some Churches.

  5. Margaret
    November 16, 2012 at 10:20 am — Reply

    Chicken…the Great Redeemer.

  6. November 16, 2012 at 11:27 am — Reply

    She loves chicken so exclusively, she even went so far to tell us that “beef is that ish she don’t like!” LMBO

    Turkey? Fish? Steak? Nawl! Give me the Holy Hen, dagnabit! And make it crispy and with sides! I love her spirit!

  7. Milaxx
    November 16, 2012 at 11:27 am — Reply

    Lawd! I’m a vegetarian and this chick praised the bird so hard I’m about ready to get me a piece. That benediction just about did me in!

  8. November 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm — Reply

    there is a song here in nola about chicken wings

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7VuxMbt6sQ

    you’re welcome…

  9. Carro
    November 16, 2012 at 1:02 pm — Reply

    This made me laugh do hard that my head and throat hurt. I also seriously want some chicken.

  10. Tiffany A
    November 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm — Reply

    I watch this daily to keep my ready for when he comes!!! I wanna be ready!!! Yes Lord!

    • Tiffany A
      November 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm — Reply

      And she know the manager Joe so we can all get hooked up after hours!!!

  11. Thatchic
    November 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm — Reply

    What church does she belong to? I would not want to be present during Praise and Worship. I’m trying to look cute for Jesus and she’s slaying persons on the altar.

    Quiet as kept the chicken song is jammin. I need this in iTunes asapual.

  12. Jai Jackson
    November 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm — Reply

    Jesus be a two piece and a biscuit from Popeyes! I am too through! Excuse me while I do the Beverly Crawford to the kitchen to heat up some hot wings from KFC’s, cuz ole girl just sang me hungry.

  13. MzPk7
    November 20, 2012 at 4:09 pm — Reply

    This is too funny! ” I wanna be thick for you lord!”… hahaha I almost had an asthma attack laughing!

  14. TeeNikki
    November 21, 2012 at 12:49 am — Reply

    Me and my fellow young adult singers make up food songs on the regular using whatever song we just learned at rehearsal. My one homie is the master of chicken. She said we fittna go ‘head an put our album out. I might go ‘head and leak the album line up:

    PASS ME NOT, O GREASY CHICKEN
    1. Pass Me Not, O Greasy Chicken offa Pass Me Not O Gentle Savior
    2. I Love to Eat Greens, offa I Love to Praise
    3. The Presence of the Steak is Here, offa The Presence of the Lord is Here
    4. Take Me to the Wings, offa Take Me to the King
    5. Just Wanna Eat, offa Just Wanna Say
    6. I Will Eat the Cheese, offa I Will Bless the Lord
    7. I Just Wanna Fry You, offa Just Wanna Praise You
    8. Great is Your Fried Fish, offa Great is Your Mercy
    9. We Made This Mac N Cheese with Crab, offa We’ve Come This Far By Faith
    10. Oh How Excellent Is Thy Pie, offa Perfect Praise
    BONUS TRACK: Smothered Pork Chop Style, offa Gangham Style

  15. HowlingBanshee
    November 27, 2012 at 2:45 pm — Reply

    Girl I’ve already arranged the choir parts and everything. I’m surprised there aren’t any response videos already with people in choir robes chutchin’ it up with three part harmony and a praise break!

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