Because Chicken is Worthy of Praise and Worship
No less than 10 people have sent me a link to this video, dubbed the “Chicken Gospel” and it took me a while but I finally watched it. And let me tell you, it took me 10 minutes because I kept on pausing it to laugh. This. is. hilarity.
The first couple of lines had me laughing so hard I had to pause the video to collect myself and wipe tears away. “How do you want it, I want it fried. How do you like it? I like it with rice.” Listen, this is a song I can get behind! This woman GETS ME. She’s strumming my greed with her gospel and I am here for it.
This woman is singing to chicken like it paid her car note and gave her a backrub! She is PASSIONATE bout her poultry. She even closed her eyes to hit them notes, and you know that’s that se’ous sanging.
Furthermore, she don’t want beef, ham, turkey or fish. NAWL, those are some counterfeits. SHE WANTS HER CHICKEN!!!
But what slayed me the most is the fact that she took this song to church and started halleluyahing. And talmbout how God gave the chicken two thighs and two wings and two BREASTESES. “I believe the chicken died so we might live.” ARE YOU CALLING CHICKEN CHRIST??? And did chicken eat itself at the Last Supper? I’m concerned and I have questions.
Ma’am, are you doing praise and worship OVER CHICKEN?? LAWD, I am expecting Sister O’Dell to emerge from the background collecting tithes. And I might give an offering because homegirl is SANGING. You know she’s suppressing all urges to get up and church scoot!
I’ve had some BOMB chicken in my day but no bird has ever made me wanna catch the holy ghost like this. Have I been living wrong? Am I outchea losing? Do I need to ask her what sanctified poultry she’s been consuming? Because it seems like it’s touched her to her core.
And then she ends it with a “Fat Girl Benediction.”
LMAO!!! iCan’t. I’m unable. I’m unable to can. I have lost all ability to can.
She called on Matthew 4:4 talmbout “Man cannot live on bread alone.” Yes, so chicken is naturally the other food the Good Book was talmbout that we need to live. Lots of chicken. And the devil ain’t gon stop her from her collards and mac and cheese. NO, HE WON’T!
“I wanna be thick for you, LAWD. Don’t lemme die skinny, Jesus. Pass the butter, Jesus.” This is my exact prayer every night before I go to bed. How’d she know? O___O
“All I need is a quarter piece, Jesus.” Girl, me too.
One thing I know is that I’m hungry after listening to that song. She talmbout mashed potatoes, gravy. “Wings on a chicken, breasts on a chicken…”