My goodness. It’s been a LONG election season and I am beyond elated that President Barack Obama said “this seat is taken” and America said “IT SURE IS!”
The road there was clearly a long one, and election day itself felt like 72 hours. IT WAS TORTUROUS! My nerves were sooo bad that I quarantined myself away from most media consumption all day. I did not have my TV on, I stayed away from blogs and news sites and when I was signed into Twitter, I only stayed in my mentions. I didn’t want to read about the voter suppression, or the long lines or the speculations of who was taking what state. The minute-by-minute coverage was not for me!
It was just nerve-wrecking. And I said prayers. May the God of Cain, Abel and Susan Lucci protect the White House from the hands of Mitt Romney! The God of Shadrack, Meshack and all the billy goats will ensure Barack Obama’s victory! Weapons of fraud by GOP WILL NOT PROSPER! I implored folks to step into a prayer closet and oil their scalps with holy water! It was just that important.
Then I finally stopped acting like I could focus on work and jumped on Twitter. Y’all know I go there for snacks and jokes. What met me was foolery. Leave it to the folks on Twitter to make you feel better (or worse) by proving that they can be dumber than a box of rocks. Like this child left behind:
CHILE… WUT?? What is the electrical college? Do you learn how to hook up A/Cs? Do they teach you about not touching hot light bulbs? Lawd. Bless her heart.
So while others monitored election results, I monitored the foolishness that happens on Twitter. And updated DumbestTweets.com more often that I would have liked to. So many belligerent dummies, so little time.
As much as I was trying to avoid it, news was seeping through to me. I heard Florida was once again being problematic, and I prayed that FOR ONCE, that state won’t be the middle finger of America. I’m convinced that Florida is history’s way of paying America back for what it did to Native Americans. They’re the curse on all our houses. SMDH.
I kept clowning on the Twitters and I’d peek every once in a while at the results. And every time I saw that Barack and Mitt were tied or close in electoral votes, my heart would hit its dougie in my chest and I’d be all “NAWL, B!” I was sweating like Wesley Snipes on tax day! I even had to go take a shower just to cool off. IT WAS TOO STRESSFUL FOR A GOON!
Then around 10:30pm CST, it was announced that President Obama took Ohio, which took him over the 270 mark that he needed to win! HE WON!!! And MITT LOST!
I. LOST. MY. MIND.
I didn’t e’em know what to do. Scream, shout or do the wobble. I was in joyous hysterics. And I tweeted in a bunch of caps. And I was all “FUCK YEAH, OHIO! YOU DID THIS!” And “AMERICA, OMG!!! AMERICA, YOU DID THIS!!! COME HERE AND LET ME HUG YOU TENDER!!! *invades everyone’s personal space* YESSSSSSSS!!!!! YES WE DID!!!”
And I was overcome with joy as it felt like the big elephant sitting on my chest walked to the White House (you see what I did there). And I know everywhere, folks were doing jigs. I hit my dougie so hard it grows up to be Sir Douglas IV of Edinburg! YESSSS!!!
But 30 minutes after they called Ohio for Barack, we found out that Mitt wasn’t conceding the state because he felt like it was too close to call. Sir, your sore loserdom is showing, tuck it in. It didn’t work for Effie White and it ain’t gon work for you. “And I am telling you. I’m not going…” Pick up your dereon duffel and concede. DAYUM.
After an hour or so, Mitt finally calls President Obama to lay his burdens down and admit he lost. He gets on stage in a purple tie (duly noted, strategists) and gave a gracious (for him) speech. He actually looked like he might have been crying before coming on stage but I didn’t have much dambs to give about his hurt feelings. I was just glad to be done with him.
Finally, Barack Obama gets onstage in front of a packed house at McCormick Place in Chicago and I get my LIFE!!! He comes up with the first family, and I got verklempt.
OMG! The First Family gives me everything! Look at the girls! Malia’s almost as tall as her parents now. And Lil Sasha ain’t e’em little no more! I was getting all misty-eyed like some proud aunty for no reason! The Obama girls have grown up right before our eyes in such a short time. I love it!
The President’s song choice as he strutted out with the fam was “Signed Sealed Delivered” and it was perfect!
He then proceeded to give one of the most amazing speeches I’ve ever heard. It was so good that I think it belongs in history books, next to some of the ones we were made to recite in elementary school. He e’em thanked Joe Biden, calling him “the best Vice-President any man could ask for.” YESSS!!! You better give Uncle Joe the props! I imagine they were backstage doing this:
But more on his speech in my next blog post, where I break down how amazing the speech was and what this election means to me (even beyond the President being re-elected).
Long story long, FUCK YEAH, AMERICA!!! Four more years for President Barack Obama to do real work! WE DID GOOD, YALL! YES, WE DID!
How did you spend election day, and what did you do to celebrate? Or were you mad? OOP.
P.S. DC, WE OUTCHEA in January!!! You can catch me juking for Jesus on U-Street! INAUGURATION RATCHETNESS IS ON THE HORIZON!
Sites That Link to this Post
- 10 Best Election Night Gifs | Awesomely Luvvie | November 7, 2012