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Whose Granny is This? She Went to Magic Photo To Slay

So. Old people. You know I love them, right? It’s mostly for their lack of damb giving about anything. They do what they want and that’s that. Well, below is an example of one geriatric I can’t get behind ALL the way.

Granny Booty Toot

Miss. Mademoiselle. Ma’am. What is this?

Magic photo just turned tragic. Someone’s granny put on her special occasion strawberry blonde/dirt brown hairhat, her new spag halter dress and said I’ma booty toot for JESUS and ain’t nobody gon check me. And she was right. No one checked her. And this picture is a result of it.

She made this appointment to get her photos taken because she said she was gon slay all the wimminz, especially with her special poses and y’all can’t do nothing about it. You know she was in her head thinking:

Motherfuckers Tell Me Nothing gif

She’s right. We can’t tell her nothing. We shouldn’t e’em try. (-__-)

But can we talk bout this gray film that’s over the picture? Surely whoever’s cousin produced this image didn’t think they were gonna impress us with it. SURELY. She looks like she’s standing in a puff of smoke. Must be from the HEAT she’s emanating in this picture. OWWWW!

Chile, I’m unable to deal with whoever’s granny this is. She’s 2Legit2Quit.

GET EM THEN, GRANNY OLA MAE (that’s what I imagine her name is).

Whose granny is this though? Which one of you will stand up and claim her? Don’t be shy!

53 Comments

  1. November 29, 2012 at 7:31 am — Reply

    Luvvie…that is not Ola Mae…that’s Annie Mae…and why does her bracelet match her hair (on her right hand)? And why is she in the police is going to search you for drugs position? And why does it look like it’s not the FIRST time she’s taken the assumed position? And she got on stiletto heels…iCan’t.

    It’s too early in the morning for this effery lol

    KMN

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:41 am — Reply

      She got on a bracelet? I was too distracted by that busy ass dress and the hairhat that MIGHT be made of squirrel fur.

      • CafeGirlsPress
        November 29, 2012 at 11:25 pm — Reply

        Ya’ll keep calling her Granny, but I am not convinced.

        But Gramps’ hairhat is LAIDT, chile. yes, GAWD!

        • November 30, 2012 at 1:53 pm — Reply

          LMAO!!! You are so rude, Carol!

  2. Aisha
    November 29, 2012 at 7:38 am — Reply

    Lawd, I though she had a chinchilla on her head…and that gray smoke (I guess) looks like grandma put too much powder on and she just a lil ashy…but she is trying to slay us youngheads out here!!!!

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:42 am — Reply

      She shoulda moisturized her situation before these flicks. Elbow looking like burnt croutons. I don’t have time.

      • MsZ
        November 29, 2012 at 9:42 pm — Reply

        Burnt croutons?!?!?! I wont look at my salad fixins the same! LMBO!! You too much!

      • MsZ
        November 29, 2012 at 9:44 pm — Reply

        BURNT CROUTONS?!?! Luvvie, you too much!!! I’ll never look at my salad fixins the same!

  3. November 29, 2012 at 7:53 am — Reply

    I do believe that is a fur hat on her head. ‘Cause that is the only way I can make what I see on her head right. I do not wanna believe a taupe nappy wrap wig exists. Not even if I squint. =_=

    Both of my G-mamas have gone to glory long ago, but if they were here, I don’t think that level of ratchedness would be nestled among my kinfolk. At least I hope not.

    She looks like Miss Jane Pittman about to twerk for equality while laying her burdens down.

    • KayMac
      November 29, 2012 at 8:39 am — Reply

      LMAOOOO…Jane Pittman abt to twerk for equality?!?!?! NAWL!!

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:34 am — Reply

      Not Miss Jane Pittman!!! *DEAD* Here lies Luvvie… please wear your GOOD wig to my funegro cuz…

    • TeeNikki
      November 29, 2012 at 10:53 pm — Reply

      #slain

  4. Yummmy
    November 29, 2012 at 7:56 am — Reply

    She is giving sooo much heat with that facial expression…Miss Hunty…y’all. ain’t. ready! ! This photo….there is nothing with which I can do!! Lookin like an old lady boogawolf!!

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:43 am — Reply

      You just called this woman a boogawolf. Ma’am… I am unable to deal with you as I howl! LMAOOO!!!

  5. Amber
    November 29, 2012 at 8:08 am — Reply

    Too early for this right here!! Somebody come get they grandma!

    @RozB you have slayed me with that miss Jane Pittman comment!

  6. November 29, 2012 at 8:24 am — Reply

    Bag of Dust Mites Hair Hat=Isnt that good news

    Dots discount Dress complete with Sunbeaten elbows=isnt that good news

    Grandma Jumped the line and asked for her seniors discount=Isn’t that good news!

    Grandma went down nay by huh self and did dat= Isnt that good news!!

    Grandma said this is slaughterhouse bitch!!
    and that’s great news!

    Im done!!

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:45 am — Reply

      You called her elbows “sunbeaten.” I should quit you. LOL!

  7. KayMac
    November 29, 2012 at 8:35 am — Reply

    I’m sitting her at work, damn near about to have a heart attack bcuz I’m trying to hold in this howl for somebody’s MeMaw…I cannot look at such material at work!!!! LMMFAOOO

  8. Kina
    November 29, 2012 at 8:38 am — Reply

    A 100 mothafuckas sho’ can’t tell her nothing. Pop it grandma, don’t let dem youngins outshine you.

  9. Browne
    November 29, 2012 at 8:55 am — Reply

    I will send this pic as a crystal ball/palm read to my big butt girlfriends who refuse to slow down.

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:47 am — Reply

      LOL! “This could be you one day.”

  10. Jos
    November 29, 2012 at 9:30 am — Reply

    LOL!!! This pic was taken at this hood bar here in Milwaukee called “Zarkos” search them on FB it’s full of ratchet foolishness!

    • November 29, 2012 at 9:48 am — Reply

      I actually did a FB search for this club and found their page. The people who go there look like they’ve filed for bankruptcy every year instead of taxes. Chile.

      • Jos
        November 29, 2012 at 11:45 am — Reply

        Check your mentions on twitter! I just sent you another pic of Granny from that night! Lmao she went and got her mink and grand kids! LMAO

    • November 29, 2012 at 10:55 am — Reply

      I’m from the MDub…I know Zarkos…There is a reason why I’ve never frequented that place…I’ve always been asked and this heffa here is the reason why I should continue to say no and be confident and satisfied with my decision…looking like she snorting lines with CooCooCal lookin tail…

      KMN

  11. Christie
    November 29, 2012 at 9:46 am — Reply

    It looks like she backin’ it up, right into herself. Gran just knew she was gettin’ it!

  12. November 29, 2012 at 9:56 am — Reply

    I saw this photo last week & was immediately traumatized. She looks like Harriet Tubman, minus the dignity.

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:34 am — Reply

      HA! She outchea wading in some water at Magic Photo!

  13. GracieO
    November 29, 2012 at 10:25 am — Reply

    #iquit ALL Y’ALL! Have me sittin on the bus crackin up in the corner looking like Sophia from The Color Purple at the dinner table just rockin back and forth! But you best believe I’ll be back this afternoon to catch more comment ratcheness! Luvvie, you’ve truly outdone yourself!

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:34 am — Reply

      “Sophia home nah!”

  14. November 29, 2012 at 10:36 am — Reply

    For why has she got to be OLA MAE?! My granny is Ola Mae and she would never (I pray) ascend to this level of hood ratchetry. She will on occasion wear her purple sweat pants and red stilettos to the grocery store… but I’m here to discuss that RAHT NAH!

    We shall rename this hood geriatric Bernice.

    That is all.

  15. Helen Renee
    November 29, 2012 at 10:40 am — Reply

    On this day no lace fronts were given.
    I don’t blame madea for this one… The photographer should have taken a stand! Like, “no, this can Not happen!”
    What would all her fellow civil rights activists say if this debauchery!?
    *exits stage right*

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:33 am — Reply

      LMAO!!! You mean Ola Mae used to march w/ Ella Baker and them? Now she’s modeling bad wigs at cheap photo studios. Look at life.

      • Helen Renews
        November 30, 2012 at 2:08 am — Reply

        Yes. She has seen many a hayride for justice in her day.

        • November 30, 2012 at 1:54 pm — Reply

          *faints* Ma’am. Not a hayride! Why must I quit ALL of you???

  16. elisabeth
    November 29, 2012 at 10:57 am — Reply

    No to tha ma’am…NOT Berneice! MY granny’s a Berneice and when I showed her this hoodbugganess, she said, “somebody tryin’ to relive their Cotton Club days.” I. HOWLED. She need Sandman Sam from The Apollo Theatre to hook her azz off the damn photo set! Iwon’t.com!

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:32 am — Reply

      Damb. We gon run outta names soon. You know old folks only go by like 10 total.

  17. paintgurl40
    November 29, 2012 at 11:29 am — Reply

    luvvie! where do you find this shit!!??!!

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:32 am — Reply

      It finds ME!

  18. nyc9ja
    November 29, 2012 at 12:16 pm — Reply

    ummm…do my eyes deceive me…or is she wearing a Rocafella dress??? Reppin the R-O-C at the tender age of 73 ma’am?? I cannot.

  19. November 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm — Reply

    y’all need to leave Aunt Esther alone – it won’t be long before she goes to join her sister, Elizabeth, and i won’t have you hooligans besmirching her good name – Aunt Esther knows the big one could come at any minute, which is why she put on her finest Chanel Double C Logo frock (AE’s eyesight is going) to take a portrait for her funegro – and y’alls is hellbent on ruint it for her – she cain’t help it if her authoritis prevents her from hitting the lotion hotspots!! O_o

    hooligans.

  20. Aisha
    November 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm — Reply

    *Background music*
    Den—den—den—den
    Make it rain TRICK, make it make it rain rain!

    *Flash back in someone’s sexpot Nana’s head*
    Heaux! Assume the funky a$$ position!!!

    Her wig/rat tail/weave cap looks like a winter wool hat, strawberry blonde I assume? LOL

  21. Karen
    November 29, 2012 at 3:28 pm — Reply

    Luvvie,

    Are you sure this is someone’s Granny? Did you ever consider this might be someone’s cross-dressing, Grand-diddy? She’on look too feminine although she surely is serving up that dust/smoke and durrtty hairhat!

    …and I just came to after something really ratchet jumped out at me on Pinterest while I was minding my own business looking for holiday stuff!

    • TeeNikki
      November 29, 2012 at 10:58 pm — Reply

      …..Pinterest gots the ratchets????? I haven’t been on in a minute.

  22. Chamika
    November 29, 2012 at 4:00 pm — Reply

    The fact that the picture was taken in my hometown of Milwaukee does not surprise me. At all. She was prolly twerkin’ somethin’ for the folks. LOL

  23. November 29, 2012 at 8:49 pm — Reply

    She looks like a cross between Florida Evans and Esther from Sanford and Son.

  24. YEAHMANE!
    November 29, 2012 at 10:05 pm — Reply

    BANDS’LL MAKE ‘ER DANCE!

  25. TeeNikki
    November 29, 2012 at 11:00 pm — Reply

    Ok, why does it look like she fittna fall? She holdin the wall like she used it to catch herself.

  26. Beth Meyers
    November 30, 2012 at 10:36 am — Reply

    I honestly think Ester Rolle never passed and she’s reviving her role as Idella. Drive on Miss Daisy!!

    • November 30, 2012 at 10:49 am — Reply

      YOU GOTTA GO, BETH! LMAOOOOOOOO!!! I am HOLLERING!

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