Famous folks

No Country for Jermaine Jackson’s Name Change

The Jackson family haven’t been in the headlines too much lately. Not like their usual anyway. But every time I say that, I speak too soon.

According to TMZ, Jermaine Jackson has decided that he wants to change his last name to “Jacksun.”

Jermaine Jackson tin man

If the Chocolate TinMan don’t ease his raggelly ass down the yellow brick road of life and have a damb seat! “Jacksun.” My dude, you STILL gotta pay that child support you owe. Hapless hoodlum. Just a negligent negro. (-____-)

The hell is he changing his name for??? He talmbout he’s tryna do it for “artistic reasons.” Sir, what art do you produce, besides that painted on hair of yours? YES, it takes talent to make black ink solidify and wear it as your coif for years and years on end. Doesn’t it rub off on pillow cases? How do you mold that shape? The only artistry I’m willing to admit for Jermaine is sculpture, which he does everyday to achieve that foolery sitting on his dome.

Also, that leathery skin of his. Does he use shoe polish to achieve the shine? Is his skin’s leather softer than my jacket’s? These are MY questions. That and what artistic reasons does he have to change his name? Girl BYE. Go sit, Jermaine. Clearly he’s the King of Bad Decisions.

Nobody Got Time for that willow gif

Right. I ain’t got TAHM for Jermaine Jackson’s foolishness, and the courts need not have time either.

To make this change, Jermaine gotta have his name announced publicly many times. I, for one, refuse to call the man “Jacksun.” Your daddy’s last name is Jackson, so I’ma call you Jackson.

Jermajesty’s daddy better go #OccupyASeat and stop wasting the legal system’s time with his tomfoolery. Unless he’s about to actually change his name to Jermaine MySkinLeathersoSOF Jackson, I’ont wanna hear it. (-__-)

Since we’re not accepting “Jacksun” what are other names you think Jermaine should go by?

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30 Comments

  1. Charlotte
    November 8, 2012 at 12:27 am

    “If the Chocolate TinMan don’t ease his raggelly ass down the yellow brick road of life and have a damb seat!”

    iHOLLERED! This whole post is hilarious but that line did me in.

  2. Chelly
    November 8, 2012 at 12:32 am

    A Fool Named Greasy Slickback… And you gotta say it all together, like A Tribe Called Quest. #Boondocks

    • November 8, 2012 at 6:22 pm

      BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    • MsZ
      November 13, 2012 at 7:18 pm

      Girl, I couldnt even get my laugh out!! Got me sounding like an old man over here!! STOP IT!!

  3. justlikehoney1
    November 8, 2012 at 12:39 am

    His face STAYS lookin’ like a pan of fresh baked brownies

    • RoxyWTF
      November 8, 2012 at 12:59 am

      You almost cost me an out of date laptop & 3 Buck Chuck.

      • justlikehoney1
        November 8, 2012 at 3:15 pm

        Sorry Rox, I ain’t mean it 😀

    • Mikimu
      November 8, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! iCannotstoplaughing

    • milaxx
      November 9, 2012 at 10:01 am

      On the Televisionwithoutpity boards that’s exactly what they called him. Burnt pan of brownies.

      I would also venture we could call him Sahara cause he stay thirsty.

  4. November 8, 2012 at 1:04 am

    Tyrese approves of this post!

  5. Anonya
    November 8, 2012 at 2:31 am

    “Unless he’s about to actually change his name to Jermaine MySkinLeathersoSOF Jackson, I’ont wanna hear it”

    Whoa, whoa! That is an insult to good leather. My beautiful leather shoes, bags, etc do NOT resemble chewed-up-spat-out trial he calls a his face/skin.

  6. Serenity
    November 8, 2012 at 5:16 am

    And we all know how you dislike a different name…….

  7. Tee Rex
    November 8, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Samsonite.

    • Can't
      November 9, 2012 at 6:07 am

      iHatechu!

  8. vroshell
    November 8, 2012 at 7:10 am

    i have laughed so hard at”Jermaine MySkinLeathersoSOF” im crying

  9. TeeNikki
    November 8, 2012 at 7:23 am

    He mays ta well change his name to Bigen, since he’s obviously a stockholder out that mickey flick.

  10. November 8, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I refuse to believe that MJJ died for this fools stupid ass sins…

    I agree Luvvie…Jermaine Jacksun Jackson I’mbrokeson have several seats \_\_\_

    And here’s and effin couch in case you start feeling the vapors \____/

    KMN

  11. November 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

    Girl, I didn’t even care about JerTravesty Jackson and you made me read this and nearly squeal out loud at work. If I lose my job on account of you and Leatherface McInkblot, I’m sending you all my bills.

    • Lily
      November 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      “Leatherface McInkblot”

      BWAHAHAHA! Dead!

  12. Angelica
    November 8, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    The Chocolate Tin Man. *faints

  13. Hattie
    November 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud and got some looks. Coco,late TinMan? Hilarious post!

  14. Hattie
    November 8, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Chocolate. Laughing so much, had a misspelling. Too through!

  15. @Steenabelle
    November 8, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    JerSITYOASSDOWN

  16. NowReally
    November 8, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    Now, if it were something ghetto like LL COOL JERMS or Jer’manboobs Jaxn …. THEN it would be court worthy. 9 kids… can he even AFFORD to buy a vowel? How about a towel and call it a day?

  17. @VictoriouslyMi
    November 8, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    I will NEVER forget someone on BV Messageoards saying he looked like a deep fried LV bag.

    That comment stole my joy.

    • Erin
      November 9, 2012 at 1:18 am

      10 minutes. 10 minutes is how long I’ve been laughing at this comment. And counting.

  18. Annette
    November 9, 2012 at 12:14 am

    First he needs to fix whom ever mess up his nose. Seriously, is he for real or was that someone setting him up? Cause I believe Jermaine has done lost his mind.

  19. J. Lionel
    November 9, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Let’s just call him Jergens, since it seems he’s badly in need of some. iNeedagolaydown now…

  20. Tamika
    November 9, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    (In my dave chappelle voice) The n*gga say he dont wanna shine…but that n*gga look shiny to me!
    LOL

  21. […] talented weird people and that is no small feat. Besides all the foolery he partakes in, like changing his last name to Jacksun (O__O) and being stuck in Africa because of his lack of child support payment, the dude has been […]