Rihanna’s #777Tour Plane is About to Turn Into Lord of the Flies
Unless you’ve been under a rock, or staying off Twitter, or somewhere minding your business and living a good life of minimal ratchetness, you’ve heard about Rihanna’s #777 tour by now. If not the tour, then at least the plane that’s on the tour with her. The 777 tour is a 7-day, 7-city, 7 concert tour that Robyn Fenty has decided to partake in. Because that just wasn’t enough excitement (O__O), Rihanna decided to bring 150 fans and journalists on a chartered plane with her.
This sounds like a good old ratchet time. It’s like hoodrat things with friends you didn’t know before, on international waters, in 7 different countries. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!! Or so folks thought.
Wells, day one was great times! Rihanna was on the plane pouring bubbly in folks’ glasses and being ratchet with folks. And then that was it for her. They haven’t seen her since. According to this piece on Gawker, written by a journalist who is on the plane, it’s been madness ever since.
“But please picture what it would be like going to your job if there was no toilet, kitchen, water fountain, faucet, or lunch break, and instead of going home at the end of the night, they made you wait standing up in an airport while the person responsible for determining when you go home laid around getting fucked up and wearing European money like pasties.
That’s the clearest way I can try to explain what might seem to the outside observer to be a disproportionate discontent on an otherwise once-in-a-lifetime sort of opportunity.”
Aw damb. And then, the conditions of the plane are deteriorating, and so is the home training everyone came with. Apparently, some Australian journalist stripped to nothing and ran around the plane naked. It sounds awesome. But folks aren’t that amused. Imagine not having a good shower, good rest and good food for days and some joker is free-balling in an airtight space.
That 777 plane probably smells like bad sex, a locker-room and old socks. I feel for everyone who is stuck on it right now. EVERYONE.
And guess who hasn’t had to deal with the debauchery? RIHANNA, of course! And folks are pissed about it. See, most of the people on the plane are actually there to WORK. They have stories to turn in for their respective publications. But because they’ve barely got face time with Ri-Ri, they’ve had very little to report on. How many times can you report on the same concert, replicated seven times? Now, their only reports are the hellish time they’re having on the 777 plane.
The plane is descending into more madness, it seems. The folks on it even managed to make this poster, looking for a Missing Rihanna.
Ok I am CRACKING up at this. First of all, that picture of Rihanna. Did they stretch out her head? Why does it look like a version of her in a funhouse mirror? Or is her forehead really that big??? Then the details on the flyer are so full of shade. “Weight: 90 pounds or so.” AND HAIR! *cackles* I’m sooo mad they put every color of the rainbow on there, besides blue.
All semblances of them giving a damb is out the window, I see. And really, who can blame them?
Just because you give someone a free trip does not give you the right to treat them like they should be picking cotton. Rihanna’s organizers should have planned this better. I GET what they tried to do but ideas are only as dope as their execution. They meant well but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You gotta know what to do when you take 150 adults around the world in 7 days. Leaving them eating random snacks and short of water is not what their lives should be about this week.
Chile, folks are about to mutiny on that plane. It’s like Soul Plane on crack with all the ratchetness you can’t imagine.
I’ma keep watching the hashtag #777Tour on Twitter and Instagram. If you wanna be entertained, or at least feel better about you being at home on the couch with no excitement, click that. THAT is what TOO much excitement looks like.
I would say this is a PR nightmare but this is Rihanna so it’s consistent with her persona. But it’s not a great look. I must say. Read the Gawker piece and get more details about why this tour is basically turning into a clusterfuck.
So what do y’all think about this debacle?