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Stock Negro Criminal is Too Fine For This Treatment

Oh America. Every time we think you might be about to win, you start losing again. Remember when Barack Obama got elected president in 2008 and everyone was talmbout how it was a post-racial country? Yeah… that was boolsheet. Unless post-racial means “just as racist but since there’s a Black guy in the White House, we’ll feel some false sense of progress.” Because that’s EXACTLY what it should mean. (-____-)

Anyways, one reason why it’s obvious that we have a long way to go?

StockNegroCriminal

The shifty-looking white dude on the left was arrested for the killing of three Brooklyn shopkeepers. The cool-looking sketch of a Black dude is what police originally released as the suspect for these killings.

*deepest sigh ever*

My girl Dash Harris referred to the dude on the right as the “stock negro criminal.” Anytime a crime happens, just blame “the black guy.” What does this Black guy look like? It doesn’t matter. Draw up something that looks like someone Black. Make him look young and TADA! We have INSTA-SUSPECT! Especially when the police haven’t done their job to actually figure out a real suspect. Stock Negro Criminal is ALWAYS there for you! O______o

And that’s that bullshit I really don’t like. How do you even explain this MASSIVE discrepancy? The person who is arrested is some middle-aged white man and the original suspect is a young, Black one. What is this, opposite day??? Besides, Stock Negro Criminal (I’ma call him Stock Nig) is a bit too FAHN to deserve this treatment. Let’s talk about him for second.

His lining is CRISP dinnamug! Whoever drew him knows Black men are so sincere about their linings. Stock Nig is outchea rocking that fresh caesar and I appreciate it. It’s almost TOO fresh. Someone said he looks like Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles. That’s so accurate. Just like this dude’s hair is sketched on, Jamie’s is painted on. OOP.

Also, is he rocking Ray-Bans? Those are CA-YUTE!

But yeah. GOOD JOB, AMERICA! This is why the whole world thinks you’re pompous for very little reason. Let Stock Negro Criminal be great. Hmph.

Ain’t Stock Nig fahn doe? Oh. Just me? (-__-)

Edit: Folks keep saying Stock Nig looks like an eyebrow-less Drake. NOOOOO!!! I don’t find Drake FAHN! TAKE IT BACK!

33 Comments

  1. god'sgifttoratchets
    November 25, 2012 at 2:47 pm — Reply

    Can we discuss the combover old boy is rocking? One of Donald Trump’s less wealthy kin folk?

    • November 25, 2012 at 2:48 pm — Reply

      LMAO! That combover is a mess! Like sir… what were you tryna achieve here?

  2. Noele
    November 25, 2012 at 2:55 pm — Reply

    i think i might be in love with stock nig. i want to bear his seed. wait- what?

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm — Reply

      Ma’am. *howls*

  3. LovesLoved
    November 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm — Reply

    Can we find Stock Nig though because he is to fahn….im asking for a friend

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:12 pm — Reply

      I’m saying… someone find the template cuz…

  4. November 25, 2012 at 3:37 pm — Reply

    I bet when the victims described him as “middle-aged white guy with watery sad eyes and a combover that don’t comb alla way ova” the police sketch artist said “Is this what he looks like?” Victim says “Hello NO! That’s some black kid with sunglasses!” The sketch artist said “Okay! So we got it right. Thanks for coming!” Sounds like a skit from the Police Squad comedies but sadly, this is real life.

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:12 pm — Reply

      And that is a good ass mess.

  5. November 25, 2012 at 3:38 pm — Reply

    Basically he drew a sketch of the dude that stole his girlfriend. Never mind the killer on the loose. This dude is too fresh to be walking down the street all free n shit. Nawl!

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:12 pm — Reply

      HA! So the sketcher was a haterbish? True. True.

  6. November 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm — Reply

    Stock Nig is WAY too FAHN for this travesty. I wanna kiss his upper lip indention…too much?

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:12 pm — Reply

      LMAOOOOO at how specific you are.

  7. Ryan
    November 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm — Reply

    The use of the phrase ‘stock nig’ doesn’t help your c vase for losing racism.
    Ditto basically calling Jamie Dizzy a stock nigger.
    P.S. It is documented that many Americans voted for Obama both times because he IS BLACK. Can’t get much more racist than that.

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:24 pm — Reply

      This comment is so stupid that I’m surprised it didn’t trip over itself before being posted. Wayment. Actually it DID! It was marked as spam by my spam catcher and I had to “approve it.” OOP.

    • November 25, 2012 at 4:49 pm — Reply

      I know this is spam, but y’know, a stupid statement is a stupid statement. Claiming some folks voted for Obama because he was Black is negated by the fact some Americans voted for Romney because he was White. Or rich. Or Mormon. Or because Obama was from Chicago. So, no. It is not racist. Especially since the same folks who you assume voted for Obama because of his skin color have voted for White candidates over Black candidates as well.

      Stop spending your time trolling and spamming and go get some common sense. I mean, really.

      • Tiffany
        November 25, 2012 at 10:23 pm — Reply

        *slow clap*

      • bre
        November 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm — Reply

        I believe the correct term for that is “classicism” and unfortunately, the majority of humanity does it.

    • jaedalaurez
      November 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm — Reply

      This is why we need the librarians to look over the computer sign-up sheet a lil more closely…

      • November 26, 2012 at 12:12 am — Reply

        Why did this make me cackle so much???

      • TeeNikki
        November 26, 2012 at 8:42 am — Reply

        iSnickered

    • Tdavis
      November 30, 2012 at 1:06 pm — Reply

      Just like a good amount of ppl voted for Bush and Romney because they are WHITE!

  8. Jay
    November 25, 2012 at 5:37 pm — Reply

    They thought the witnesses were describing Mitt Romney’s post-election pictures so they had to do something.

  9. Rae
    November 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm — Reply

    Stock-Nig is indeed FAHN…give him my number!

  10. Tiffany
    November 25, 2012 at 10:24 pm — Reply

    Yes! Stock Nig is FAAHN, that line up is on point, and dem lips!!

  11. November 26, 2012 at 12:26 am — Reply

    Hey Stock Nig boo! *Pops on a handstand*

    (O_o) don’t judge me

  12. November 26, 2012 at 12:31 am — Reply

    And then when they describe the ‘Stock Nig’ on the news they be like ‘ He is a black male. Between 5’2″ and 6’0, anywhere between 150-200 lbs, wearing a baseball cap & Jordans’ and you be like ” Damn, that sounds like Jonathan…..and Craig…and DeShawn & ‘nem….oh, that could be Dj too…”

    • November 26, 2012 at 1:12 am — Reply

      And then when they describe the ‘Stock Nig’ on the news they be like ‘ He is a black male. Between 5’2″ and 6’0, anywhere between 150-200 lbs, wearing a baseball cap & Jordans’

      Don’t forget – he’s between 19 and 75 years old, wearing what was describes as a hoodie and jeans, or possible a blazer and slacks, driving a new and/or older model Ford and/or Lexus. With or without facial hair, cornrowns or possibly bald

      • November 26, 2012 at 1:32 pm — Reply

        LMAO! YES!

  13. T
    November 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm — Reply

    Reminds me of the liquor store scene from Superbad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj4RujL6JWE). Just making up all kinds of stuff

  14. KC
    November 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm — Reply

    Wayment!!! That’s Denzel. Denzel’s only dude I’ve seen whose lip curls like that.

  15. Raspberry Jones
    November 26, 2012 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    Stock nig looks like the dude on Grand Theft Auto.

  16. November 26, 2012 at 7:58 pm — Reply

    So glad you wrote about this. I was following the story because I live in Brooklyn was amazed at the gall of the media to post this “Stock Negro” sketch since they had described the suspect as being an older white man.

  17. kurtz
    December 8, 2012 at 3:54 am — Reply

    To be fair, a good deal of the eye witnesses in each case were Middle Eastern immigrants, not Caucasians.

    This statement comes from an Asian that has no racial stake in reading police reports.

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