Twitter’s awesome sometimes, particularly in times of joint wig snatching. This past Thursday was one of those times and I got my ENTIRE life.
See what had happened was… Tony Gaskins, one of those random ass relationship experts who doesn’t really say anything of substance but has over 100,000 followers got on Twitter spewing his random boolsheet to women who are too willing to accept it. I don’t follow him but his tweet got retweeted into my timeline and I rolled my eyes so hard I needed eye drops to get them back to normal.
Here’s the tweet:
Theo, that is THE DUMBEST THING I’ve ever heard. That’s so damb stupid. Someone shut down Tyrese School for Dumbass Relationship Advice. He is clearly an alum. These goofy relationship “experts” gotta GTFOH. For real. No country for janky relationship experts. EVER.
And I promptly put him on DumbestTweets.com. And then he blocked me. Tony Gaskins blocked me because I wasn’t here for his JANKASS chicken tweet. SIR, I ACCEPT YOUR HATERATION IN MY DANCERIE! So you know my sharp tongue self had to keep talking.
And then… Twitter went ALL THE WAY IN. For 3 hours. In fact, the only reason folks stopped roasting Tony was because Scandal came on. Olivia Pope and them are the ONLIEST reasons folks stopped dragging this man by his eyebrows. But I laughed so hard my sides were hurting. If you can’t view the tweets below, view them on Storify.
IT. WAS. EPIC. And I fell out. He deserved it. And needs to sit the hell down. How did he even get placed on this pedestal he’s on? What are his qualifications to be a relationship expert? Someone show me some receipts!
Either way, he got dragged and it was delicious.
Also, I said I wasn’t gon get blocked by anyone else in 2012. I’m salty that Tony made a liar outta me. (-__-)
This dude stay flowing in Tyreseism and Steve Harvey Jedi mind games. iShantnot partake of ill-advised foolery. And the tweets …. SO fu*king dead. Cried laughing so hard at my desk, they thought I was having an asthma attack (and I don’t have asthma).
MY LIFE IS EVERYTHING @ If he can’t tell you what’s in the new chicken wrap, he doesn’t deserve any of your three cheeses. How did she come for Tony and Mary in ONE TWEET!!!
AND REAL TEARS @ Ladies don’t give up your pie. Keep your 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937…
LISTEN! That Pie tweet definitely had me cashing out. I literally covered my eyes while crying laughin because I couldn’t believe what I just saw…
LOL even more @ “my life is everything”
What in all of hot ass hell is this??? I couldn’t even go past #8! Will somebody please give this fool some food because obviously he’s hungry! #StupidShit
Yes!!!! Whether it’s calling MY president out his name, protecting Beyonce by any means necessary or shutting down foolishness, Twitter has true soldiers fighting all types of battles!
Oh, it was epic. Tweets were flying. I was crying. Tony needs to thank Shonda Rimes for creating an epic series that stopped his roasting before he got to the crispy skin stage.
Tony annoyed me to no end with this whole situation. He totally contradicted his own teaching. When a woman (YOU, Luvvie) calls him out on a very foolish and offensive tweet where were his “pleasantries”? It would have been pleasant to apologize for the poor analogy but instead he tweets about “people” being haters and ignorant. SMH Why did he remove the tweet if nothing was wrong with it? So a man is a pleasant gentleman if he calls a college educated woman ignorant instead of admitting his wrong? He’s strong in his convictions? UGH!! Sir! You speak from a podium made of marshmallows! AND to watch women cosign him with references to “the enemy being busy and trying to block his calling” (I’m paraphrasing) DISGUSTING! $12 tickets to gain entrance to his seminars is not some supernatural move of the spirit. NAW!! Show me the numbers! What is the success rate for attendees avoiding these “popeyes” and marrying a “Pleasant” Man who respects their baked and fried parts. Marriage is the goal, right? *sucks teeth*
oK, I’m reading this ish like is this for real…i give myself this much, i made half way through the fuckery before I was like ok icannot take anymore!!! those 100,000 followers better have only followed his ass for a good hearty laugh because of they think he has any sense of any kind, they just as dumb as THE GIRL WHO WAS BAMBOOZLED story…i mean really…this is craxy..he can’t really believe this crap….what he do, ride past mcdonald’s and be inspired by the dollar menu….Stick a fork in it
I gotta say…it was an epic dragging. You forgot to mention how he started talking about crabs in a barrel and other nonsense once he figured out he was getting the roasting of a lifetime!
Why do I insist on reading your blogs when I am in the library or in class? The one about having your Burger King and rolling through Five Guys had me snorting like a dork. So embarrassed right now. Its amazing the problems you cause on Twitter!
i’m breaking up with you – because of you, i have become a Twitter Follower of Foolishness – i can’t depend on others to RT nonsense like Tyrese claiming he was “in the game” with Tupac (shout out @Steenfox!) – i must experience the idiocity firsthand – and yes, i said idiocity – if Tyrese can make up words, i can too. so i’m quitting you – until Scandal day – or until you post another blog filled with ratchetness – soooo … 10 minutes?
While I was definitely chuckling at your hilarious tweets — I must say – for the first time I’m kinda slightly disappointed with this roast. :-/
Please don’t jump on me folks — I’m a Luvvie Fan! (I burn at least 22.7 calories/day laughing at her foolishness) — but I think if you ever heard Tony Gaskins’ story before, you wouldn’t be roasting him.
Yes – there’s a lot of faux-relationship “experts” out there – but I think he genuinely cares about helping females. I don’t buy his books or attend his seminars, but I applaud the Black men who have turned their lives around, become successful and use their lives to help females. I know his quotes are cheesy and a little extra (insert the Popeye quote) – but at least he’s not degrading women like most of the R&B dudes and Hip Hop fellas.
Come on y’all — can a Brotha catch a break? lol
Sheesh!
Anywho – still love ya though…
Now let me go hide… I bet some of y’all are gonna come at my neck…
What ‘females’ is he helping?
female goats? female dogs? female sheep? cos lord knows it ain’t female human beings.
The man is a pimp, he is pimping on the insecurity of women. No more no less.
And you have bought the cool aid evidenced by the fact that you can’t even recognise that the ‘chicken/popeye’ quote was degrading.
Since when is it okay to reduce women (not ‘females’) to the sum of their body parts in order to tell them not to reduce themselves to the sum of their body parts.
EXACTLY!!!!! Side note to MsWits, I respect you for sharing your opposing opinion, but I completly agree with ab and hope that you re-read that second to last statement several times because that is the bottom line. Thanks but no thanks on his kind of “caring” and advice. I prefer mine with a double side of genuine respect.
While I get where both of you are coming from – I don’t think he’s talking to you. You women respect yourselves. There are many who don’t. His demographic is the girls who call their parts “Cake, cake, cake” and such. And remember the whole “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” stuff? That was another degrading song but yet another female.
Please y’all let’s not front and act like some women don’t enjoy referring to their “girly parts” as menu items. I’m not saying its right or ideal. He does it to make a point to these women – and get them to see how shady men view them: like pieces of meat.
I respect myself and I’m sure you do too. We’re not his demographic – but if his references help one female take a second look at her mistakes and change her life for the better – more power to him.
Whether he’s real or not – who knows.
But again – I was cackling at the jokes too. I’m just being honest and respectfully agreeing to disagree.
honestly, it doesn’t matter who he is talking to, its a swindle. No woman (not females) deserves this drivel.
I’m grown, I can sing ‘my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’. Its a song, I can indulge for 3mins and it will still not deprive me of my self-respect, femininity or womanhood.
The fact that a woman might disrespect themselves doesn’t mean that he needs to pile on.
You are willing to give him the benefit of doubt by saying ‘who knows if he is real or not’
I’m not willing to do so.
It is blatantly obvious that he is a crook, swindler and a pimp. No I’m not giving him a break.He doesn’t deserve one
He has no authority here and I will not ever approve his gospel. Saying oh he is not talking about people like me doesn’t work, he made no such distinction and the people who will fall for this are not the people who are calling their parts ‘cake’ or anything else.
It’s the women who are lonely, who have done everything all those ‘rela-tyrese-ship’ guru’s have told them and still come up short.
This man hates women, this is what women haters do.
DON’T BE COMIN UP IN HERRR WIT’ NO LOGIC AND SYMPATHIES!!!!! We ain’t bout that life in these parts. ANYbody is fair game for roasting LMBO
But you cool. We ain’t got no beef wit’ you, Patty! Next time, just Chex yourself In The Mirror before you come In & Out of Luvvie’s house, cuz this isn’t Sam’s Club, this is a place of foolery, shenanigans and ratchetness, so stay on Target and don’t Border on being lame, or you Macy the Golden Corral from the wrong side of the locks. I’m just sayin.
ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m not on the Twitters, so this is my contribution!!!
LOL! Mah bad – I can’t help it sometimes. My invisible “WWJD” bracelet be’s having me all sympathetic ‘n such. I did forget that this was the official Ratchet House of Horrors and that all was fair game. Except Oprah. She gets a pass…
Anyhoo – maybe Jesus will give me two gold stickers today. I know I won’t be getting them here…
Pardon me as I disgracefully exit…
*curtsies and walks away slowly…then trips over dress*
I’ll be back for a heaping serving of foolery this week
AMEN! Lmaooo i fell to tears when I seen these tweets! I have no idea who half of these “relationship doctors” , they are an embarrassment to my profession as a REAL therapist. Maybe I need to start tweeting foolish love analogies and see if I get thousands of followers LOL. #Tragedy
OMG, Luvvie, ggggiiiii-rrrllll, I’m a Houston publicist, WHY was this joker JUST in the H spewing this garbage at his bullshit #MrsRightTour! Trying to actually CHARGE women like $25to come and hear him speak at Houston Community College though???
Then this cheap bastard didn’t even want to hire any of us on the scene to do a damn eblast to get the word out, trying to use “his own resources”!!!!
WHAT resources fool?? On a Saturday morning?? in the H?!?! THIS NINJA!!!!!
Girl, let’s just say he had numerous & MANY seats last weekend, #iBurn, bawahaha!!
This dude is cornier than a truckload of Fritos! I got halfway through the madness up there and had to take a time out! I felt my I.Q. drop, but y’all snatched every piece of hair he had, WTG!!!
GRANTED THE TWEETS ABOVE WERE FUNNY. I WONT GO IN ON HIM. I DONT FOLLOW HIS TWITTER BUT I’VE READ HIS BOOK AND SEEN A FEW THINGS ONLINE DONE BY HIM. IM NOT MAD AT HIM. IN FACT IN MY OPINION HE’S GIVEN SOME GOOD ADVICE. THE TWEET MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT CORNY BUT IS HE REALLY THAT BAD? UNLESS I AM MISSING SOMETHING HUGE ON HIS TWITTER TO TELL ME OTHERWISE I REALLY DONT THINK ITS THAT SERIOUS TO CALL HIM A PIMP AND ALL OF THAT. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE MAN MOVE IT ALONG. SIMPLE AS THAT.
Why did I click on the Storify link??? Why LAWD!!!!! REAL TEARS!!!! LOL
ikr? It’s 11:30 pm and I’m trying not to wake everyone else in my house by falling out of my seat crying with laughter.
I am dying!! I had to close my office door! The snark, the draggage! I love my peoples.
This dude stay flowing in Tyreseism and Steve Harvey Jedi mind games. iShantnot partake of ill-advised foolery. And the tweets …. SO fu*king dead. Cried laughing so hard at my desk, they thought I was having an asthma attack (and I don’t have asthma).
MY LIFE IS EVERYTHING @ If he can’t tell you what’s in the new chicken wrap, he doesn’t deserve any of your three cheeses. How did she come for Tony and Mary in ONE TWEET!!!
AND REAL TEARS @ Ladies don’t give up your pie. Keep your 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937…
Luvvie your twitter followers slayed!!!
the pie tweet had me choking!
The pie tweet gave me everything I needed and more!! Also…
“If you give him your Fritos he might just be trying to Lay! Ladies, tell him it’s NACHOS!”
iCackled!
LISTEN! That Pie tweet definitely had me cashing out. I literally covered my eyes while crying laughin because I couldn’t believe what I just saw…
LOL even more @ “my life is everything”
What in all of hot ass hell is this??? I couldn’t even go past #8! Will somebody please give this fool some food because obviously he’s hungry! #StupidShit
my word!
Twitter certainly knows how to come together in a time of crisis *lol*.
And in times of Buffoonery and Coonery. Is Mr. Gaskins even on Twitter anymore? Does anybody know? He might be sad or something right about now.
Luvvie – Leader of the Twitter Goon Nation.
Yes!!!! Whether it’s calling MY president out his name, protecting Beyonce by any means necessary or shutting down foolishness, Twitter has true soldiers fighting all types of battles!
This whole thing gave me a whole ‘notha life on Thursday!
Oh, it was epic. Tweets were flying. I was crying. Tony needs to thank Shonda Rimes for creating an epic series that stopped his roasting before he got to the crispy skin stage.
“If he’s not your man and you LAYS with him, don’t be surprised if he CHEETOS on you” iDied!!!
And you know some girl is outchea talmbout some “what would you do for my Klondike bar”? Smh
Amber, let Trojanae be great, she learned something that day, lmao!!!!
Trojanae? hahahahahaha Trojanae!!! hahahahahahasnort wheeze wheeze Trojanae!!!
I just spit all my chips ahoy cookie out @Trojanae! too funny iquit
THANK YOU FOR THIS! I just hollered!
Tony annoyed me to no end with this whole situation. He totally contradicted his own teaching. When a woman (YOU, Luvvie) calls him out on a very foolish and offensive tweet where were his “pleasantries”? It would have been pleasant to apologize for the poor analogy but instead he tweets about “people” being haters and ignorant. SMH Why did he remove the tweet if nothing was wrong with it? So a man is a pleasant gentleman if he calls a college educated woman ignorant instead of admitting his wrong? He’s strong in his convictions? UGH!! Sir! You speak from a podium made of marshmallows! AND to watch women cosign him with references to “the enemy being busy and trying to block his calling” (I’m paraphrasing) DISGUSTING! $12 tickets to gain entrance to his seminars is not some supernatural move of the spirit. NAW!! Show me the numbers! What is the success rate for attendees avoiding these “popeyes” and marrying a “Pleasant” Man who respects their baked and fried parts. Marriage is the goal, right? *sucks teeth*
iScreamed and iHollered!!! got these nurses shushing me cuz im waking up the entire waiting room! *crying real tears and hiccuping*
oK, I’m reading this ish like is this for real…i give myself this much, i made half way through the fuckery before I was like ok icannot take anymore!!! those 100,000 followers better have only followed his ass for a good hearty laugh because of they think he has any sense of any kind, they just as dumb as THE GIRL WHO WAS BAMBOOZLED story…i mean really…this is craxy..he can’t really believe this crap….what he do, ride past mcdonald’s and be inspired by the dollar menu….Stick a fork in it
Get out of my head. I JUST got finished sayin that!!
my bad, great minds know bullish when they see it, lol
I was there from start to finish!
I gotta say…it was an epic dragging. You forgot to mention how he started talking about crabs in a barrel and other nonsense once he figured out he was getting the roasting of a lifetime!
That Olive Garden tweet has me choking over here! I can’t even click the forward button! LIFE!
Why do I insist on reading your blogs when I am in the library or in class? The one about having your Burger King and rolling through Five Guys had me snorting like a dork. So embarrassed right now. Its amazing the problems you cause on Twitter!
i’m breaking up with you – because of you, i have become a Twitter Follower of Foolishness – i can’t depend on others to RT nonsense like Tyrese claiming he was “in the game” with Tupac (shout out @Steenfox!) – i must experience the idiocity firsthand – and yes, i said idiocity – if Tyrese can make up words, i can too. so i’m quitting you – until Scandal day – or until you post another blog filled with ratchetness – soooo … 10 minutes?
My side was sore from laughing so hard at #4. I couldn’t get past #4.
He should be ashamed of himself. I want to call Huck on him.
While I was definitely chuckling at your hilarious tweets — I must say – for the first time I’m kinda slightly disappointed with this roast. :-/
Please don’t jump on me folks — I’m a Luvvie Fan! (I burn at least 22.7 calories/day laughing at her foolishness) — but I think if you ever heard Tony Gaskins’ story before, you wouldn’t be roasting him.
Yes – there’s a lot of faux-relationship “experts” out there – but I think he genuinely cares about helping females. I don’t buy his books or attend his seminars, but I applaud the Black men who have turned their lives around, become successful and use their lives to help females. I know his quotes are cheesy and a little extra (insert the Popeye quote) – but at least he’s not degrading women like most of the R&B dudes and Hip Hop fellas.
Come on y’all — can a Brotha catch a break? lol
Sheesh!
Anywho – still love ya though…
Now let me go hide… I bet some of y’all are gonna come at my neck…
What ‘females’ is he helping?
female goats? female dogs? female sheep? cos lord knows it ain’t female human beings.
The man is a pimp, he is pimping on the insecurity of women. No more no less.
And you have bought the cool aid evidenced by the fact that you can’t even recognise that the ‘chicken/popeye’ quote was degrading.
Since when is it okay to reduce women (not ‘females’) to the sum of their body parts in order to tell them not to reduce themselves to the sum of their body parts.
This is foolishness and just #fullofshit.
EXACTLY!!!!! Side note to MsWits, I respect you for sharing your opposing opinion, but I completly agree with ab and hope that you re-read that second to last statement several times because that is the bottom line. Thanks but no thanks on his kind of “caring” and advice. I prefer mine with a double side of genuine respect.
While I get where both of you are coming from – I don’t think he’s talking to you. You women respect yourselves. There are many who don’t. His demographic is the girls who call their parts “Cake, cake, cake” and such. And remember the whole “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” stuff? That was another degrading song but yet another female.
Please y’all let’s not front and act like some women don’t enjoy referring to their “girly parts” as menu items. I’m not saying its right or ideal. He does it to make a point to these women – and get them to see how shady men view them: like pieces of meat.
I respect myself and I’m sure you do too. We’re not his demographic – but if his references help one female take a second look at her mistakes and change her life for the better – more power to him.
Whether he’s real or not – who knows.
But again – I was cackling at the jokes too. I’m just being honest and respectfully agreeing to disagree.
honestly, it doesn’t matter who he is talking to, its a swindle. No woman (not females) deserves this drivel.
I’m grown, I can sing ‘my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’. Its a song, I can indulge for 3mins and it will still not deprive me of my self-respect, femininity or womanhood.
The fact that a woman might disrespect themselves doesn’t mean that he needs to pile on.
You are willing to give him the benefit of doubt by saying ‘who knows if he is real or not’
I’m not willing to do so.
It is blatantly obvious that he is a crook, swindler and a pimp. No I’m not giving him a break.He doesn’t deserve one
He has no authority here and I will not ever approve his gospel. Saying oh he is not talking about people like me doesn’t work, he made no such distinction and the people who will fall for this are not the people who are calling their parts ‘cake’ or anything else.
It’s the women who are lonely, who have done everything all those ‘rela-tyrese-ship’ guru’s have told them and still come up short.
This man hates women, this is what women haters do.
DON’T BE COMIN UP IN HERRR WIT’ NO LOGIC AND SYMPATHIES!!!!! We ain’t bout that life in these parts. ANYbody is fair game for roasting LMBO
But you cool. We ain’t got no beef wit’ you, Patty! Next time, just Chex yourself In The Mirror before you come In & Out of Luvvie’s house, cuz this isn’t Sam’s Club, this is a place of foolery, shenanigans and ratchetness, so stay on Target and don’t Border on being lame, or you Macy the Golden Corral from the wrong side of the locks. I’m just sayin.
ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m not on the Twitters, so this is my contribution!!!
BWAHHHHAAAHHHHAHHHHHHH…….Girl and with that, I bout to shut down my computer and go, SEgzual Chocolate!
LOL! Mah bad – I can’t help it sometimes. My invisible “WWJD” bracelet be’s having me all sympathetic ‘n such. I did forget that this was the official Ratchet House of Horrors and that all was fair game. Except Oprah. She gets a pass…
Anyhoo – maybe Jesus will give me two gold stickers today. I know I won’t be getting them here…
Pardon me as I disgracefully exit…
*curtsies and walks away slowly…then trips over dress*
I’ll be back for a heaping serving of foolery this week
AMEN! Lmaooo i fell to tears when I seen these tweets! I have no idea who half of these “relationship doctors” , they are an embarrassment to my profession as a REAL therapist. Maybe I need to start tweeting foolish love analogies and see if I get thousands of followers LOL. #Tragedy
OMG, Luvvie, ggggiiiii-rrrllll, I’m a Houston publicist, WHY was this joker JUST in the H spewing this garbage at his bullshit #MrsRightTour! Trying to actually CHARGE women like $25to come and hear him speak at Houston Community College though???
Then this cheap bastard didn’t even want to hire any of us on the scene to do a damn eblast to get the word out, trying to use “his own resources”!!!!
WHAT resources fool?? On a Saturday morning?? in the H?!?! THIS NINJA!!!!!
Girl, let’s just say he had numerous & MANY seats last weekend, #iBurn, bawahaha!!
OK, just read Storify thread.
I hate you Luvvie. And EBBER THANG you stand for!!!!!!!!!!!!
Must…….catch…….BREATH!!!!!!!
This dude is cornier than a truckload of Fritos! I got halfway through the madness up there and had to take a time out! I felt my I.Q. drop, but y’all snatched every piece of hair he had, WTG!!!
“Don’t let him be your Burger King if you can’t have it your way” <<— LITERALLY ROTHLMAO
These tweets are EPIC!!
I don’t know how I missed this post…but I’ve been in tears for the last 10 minutes!
Thank God you put this into the dumbest tweets section. The memories….
GRANTED THE TWEETS ABOVE WERE FUNNY. I WONT GO IN ON HIM. I DONT FOLLOW HIS TWITTER BUT I’VE READ HIS BOOK AND SEEN A FEW THINGS ONLINE DONE BY HIM. IM NOT MAD AT HIM. IN FACT IN MY OPINION HE’S GIVEN SOME GOOD ADVICE. THE TWEET MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT CORNY BUT IS HE REALLY THAT BAD? UNLESS I AM MISSING SOMETHING HUGE ON HIS TWITTER TO TELL ME OTHERWISE I REALLY DONT THINK ITS THAT SERIOUS TO CALL HIM A PIMP AND ALL OF THAT. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE MAN MOVE IT ALONG. SIMPLE AS THAT.
I know I’m late. I’m just here to day I’m glad I made it on to the list. #StartedFromTheBottom
Should read “I’m here to say.” Oops