Social Media

Tony Gaskins Tweets and We Unite To Roast Him

Twitter’s awesome sometimes, particularly in times of joint wig snatching. This past Thursday was one of those times and I got my ENTIRE life.

See what had happened was… Tony Gaskins, one of those random ass relationship experts who doesn’t really say anything of substance but has over 100,000 followers got on Twitter spewing his random boolsheet to women who are too willing to accept it. I don’t follow him but his tweet got retweeted into my timeline and I rolled my eyes so hard I needed eye drops to get them back to normal.

Here’s the tweet:

Tony Gaskins Tweet

Theo, that is THE DUMBEST THING I’ve ever heard. That’s so damb stupid. Someone shut down Tyrese School for Dumbass Relationship Advice. He is clearly an alum. These goofy relationship “experts” gotta GTFOH. For real. No country for janky relationship experts. EVER.

And I promptly put him on And then he blocked me. Tony Gaskins blocked me because I wasn’t here for his JANKASS chicken tweet. SIR, I ACCEPT YOUR HATERATION IN MY DANCERIE! So you know my sharp tongue self had to keep talking.

And then… Twitter went ALL THE WAY IN. For 3 hours. In fact, the only reason folks stopped roasting Tony was because Scandal came on. Olivia Pope and them are the ONLIEST reasons folks stopped dragging this man by his eyebrows. But I laughed so hard my sides were hurting. If you can’t view the tweets below, view them on Storify.

Tony Gaskins Tweets and We Roast

Tony Gaskins tweeted foolishness and Twitter dragged him by roasting him to pieces. And he blocked me. WOMP.

Storified by Luvvie Ajayi · Tue, Nov 13 2012 10:49:31

Ladies, no man likes it when you #supersize so skip the fries and order a salad instead. #TonyGaskinsTweetsCarolyn Edgar
Don’t give him a 20 "piece"! Give him a Happy Meal and make him HAPPY with your own MEAL! #TonyGaskinsTweetsD. Jeter
don’t let him dip his nugget in your honey mustard if he won’t super size! #TonyGaskinsTweetschief queef
ladies, don’t give him your TACO just because he rings your BELL!Brokey McPoverty
Ladies don’t give up your pie. Keep your 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937… #TonyGaskinsTweets #PleasantriesLeon X
Don’t let him be a JACK in your BOX! Don’t let him go N-AND-OUT! Make him be your Burger King! #TonyGaskinsTweetsD. Jeter
while you’re letting one feel your mounds, ladies, you’re missing your true ALMOND JOY! black love! #TonyGaskinsTweetschief queef
ladies, just because he’s a BIG MAC, it doesn’t mean you should let him go IN AND OUT! #TonyGaskinsTweetsBrokey McPoverty
Ladies just because he’s got $5 and a footlong doesn’t mean you should let him into your subway #TonyGaskinsTweets’Nata Edwards
ladies, ask him what he would do for your klondike bar before you give him a taste #TonyGaskinsTweetsDonatella Mewhatodo
Ladies, don’t be tempted by his unlimited breadsticks. Your OLIVE GARDEN is worth much more. #TonyGaskinsTweetsCarolyn Edgar
Don’t let him be your Burger King if you can’t have it your way! #TonyGaskinTweetsJessica Danielle
Ladies you can have 2Chainz or 1Ring. It’s up to you. #TonyGaskinsTweetsLeon X
Ladies, how are you gonna have the FORTUNE when you done gave up the COOKIE? #TonyGaskinsTweetsSome lady…
Ladies, don’t let him ring your TACO BELL unless he shows you he ain’t gonna play with any other WENDYS #TonyGaskinTweetsDarth Shader
Ladies, don’t let him near your pringles if he can’t eat just one! #TonyGaskinTweetsJessica Danielle
. @Luvvie You can’t be a STAR if you’re only interested in his BUCKS.Arnebya Herndon
Just cause a man buys you skittles doesn’t mean you should let him taste the rainbow #TonyGaskinTweetJessica Danielle
Ladies, don’t smother him like a PANDA because he’ll take the EXPRESS train out! #TonyGaskinTweetsBeez
if all he does is play DOMINO’S, he can’t stick his LITTLE CAESAR in your PIZZA HUT #TonyGaskinsTweetsMychal Denzel Smith
ladies if you give him your RUBY on TUESDAY, don’t be surprised when he stops calling by TGIFRIDAY. #TonyGaskinsTweets @vinabeanBrokey McPoverty
ladies if you give him your RUBY on TUESDAY, don’t be surprised when he stops calling by TGIFRIDAY. #TonyGaskinsTweets @vinabeanBrokey McPoverty
Ladies, don’t overlook your Burger King for a Jack in the Box. You’ll never find peace in your White Castle. #TonyGaskinsTweetsAshley Cee
Don’t settle for mayo. Get a man who can cut the mustard. #TonyGaskinsTweetsArya Snark
Don’t choke his chicken til he takes you to the Churches! #TonyGaskinsTweetsLove Sir-sa
If you give away your baby back ribs, dont be surprised if he starts getting chili after. #tonygaskinstweets #pleasantriesS.
Ladies, you might not be his only taco bell if your legs are always open after midnight! #TonyGaskinsTweetJessica Danielle
If you give him your Fritos he might just be trying to Lay! Ladies, tell him it’s NACHOS! #TonyGaskinsTweetsElle
Ladies, you can’t be his Dairy Queen if you let him dip his Cone so soon! #TonyGaskinsTweetskate404
If he won’t stay from 11 to 7, girl, he thinks of you as a 7-11! #TonyGaskinsTweets @LuvvieK.
Ladies, Don’t order the double-double unless he showed you he’s not just here for the In & Out #TonyGaskinsTweets #ChivalryResurrectedDr. Greg House
If you want him to be your Burger King, you probably shouldn’t roll thru Five Guys before you have it your way. #PleasentriesVic Damone, Jr. Jr.
Ladies, do a better job of giving up your Cinnabon before you catch him dipping his fries in Wendy’s shake #TonyGaskinsTweetsAshley Cee
light skinned women: don’t spread your GOLDEN ARCHES for any old MCNUGGET. supersize your fate! #TonyGaskinsTweetsBrokey McPoverty
don’t let him taste jamba juices until he gives you that HARD ROCK and a big white castle! #TonyGaskinsTweetsBrokey McPoverty
@Luvvie If you make Pizza, he will sleep at your Hut.HeauxSon Phones
ladies, you don’t have to taste all 31 FLAVORS to find the right cone! #TonyGaskinsTweetsBrokey McPoverty
Ladies if his heart is COLD and made of STONE do not invite him to your CREAMERY #tonygaskintweetsKristy Tillman
I will if its his PAYDAY! RT @nc_45 Don’t allow him to use his BUTTERFINGERs if he won’t take you to MARS! #TonyGaskinsTweetsBlock Obama
ladies, don’t put his GOODBAR in your mouth if it looks like an unwrapped PAYDAY. #TonyGaskinsTweets #safesexBrokey McPoverty
Ladies, give him that real hot chocolate before he finds himself a Swiss Miss #TonyGaskinsTweetsA. Marie
If he can’t tell you what’s in the new chicken wrap, he doesn’t deserve any of your three cheeses. #TonyGaskinsTweetsDeesha P
When Jimmy Johns wants to give you that Slim Jim..take him to the FireHouse and tell him you want to be fully involved. #tonygaskinstweetsTootie
Ladies, is he coo-coo for your Coco Puffs? #TonyGaskinsTweetsA. Marie
Ladies, let him soak you in his syrup and that way you will get in good with his Aunt Jemima. #TonyGaskinsTweetsPhillip Van de Kamp
#TonyGaskinsTweets Ladies don’t let your love life WOBBLE, step in the name of love and don’t get caught up in CUPIDS SHUFFLE #2steponfaithMr.Everything
Don’t show him your Princess Peach until you’re ready to house him in your White Castle #TonyGaskinsTweetsPhillip Van de Kamp
Before you let the Captain CRUNCH your Special K, make sure you invite Mr Clean to do some work on your Lucky CHARMS. #TonyGaskinsTweetsPhillip Van de Kamp
Don’t share your cookies unless he makes you Mrs. Fields #TonyGaskinsTweets @SamXIShea
If you’re not married to him and you LAYS with him, don’t be surprised if he CHEETOS on you. #tonygaskinstweetsiMDRW

IT. WAS. EPIC. And I fell out. He deserved it. And needs to sit the hell down. How did he even get placed on this pedestal he’s on? What are his qualifications to be a relationship expert? Someone show me some receipts!

Either way, he got dragged and it was delicious.

Also, I said I wasn’t gon get blocked by anyone else in 2012. I’m salty that Tony made a liar outta me. (-__-)

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  1. ShoeDiva925
    November 13, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Why did I click on the Storify link??? Why LAWD!!!!! REAL TEARS!!!! LOL

    • Gigi Young
      November 14, 2012 at 1:30 am

      ikr? It’s 11:30 pm and I’m trying not to wake everyone else in my house by falling out of my seat crying with laughter.

    • Bukky
      November 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

      I am dying!! I had to close my office door! The snark, the draggage! I love my peoples.

  2. candigirlindmv
    November 13, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    This dude stay flowing in Tyreseism and Steve Harvey Jedi mind games. iShantnot partake of ill-advised foolery. And the tweets …. SO fu*king dead. Cried laughing so hard at my desk, they thought I was having an asthma attack (and I don’t have asthma).

  3. Tarah
    November 13, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    MY LIFE IS EVERYTHING @ If he can’t tell you what’s in the new chicken wrap, he doesn’t deserve any of your three cheeses. How did she come for Tony and Mary in ONE TWEET!!!

    AND REAL TEARS @ Ladies don’t give up your pie. Keep your 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937…

    Luvvie your twitter followers slayed!!!

    • TMaryMack
      November 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      the pie tweet had me choking!

      • Lost the ability to can...
        November 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

        The pie tweet gave me everything I needed and more!! Also…

        “If you give him your Fritos he might just be trying to Lay! Ladies, tell him it’s NACHOS!”


    • Lauren
      November 19, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      LISTEN! That Pie tweet definitely had me cashing out. I literally covered my eyes while crying laughin because I couldn’t believe what I just saw…
      LOL even more @ “my life is everything”

  4. CaliGirlED
    November 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    What in all of hot ass hell is this??? I couldn’t even go past #8! Will somebody please give this fool some food because obviously he’s hungry! #StupidShit

  5. TMaryMack
    November 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    my word!

  6. naturalista88
    November 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Twitter certainly knows how to come together in a time of crisis *lol*.

    • November 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      And in times of Buffoonery and Coonery. Is Mr. Gaskins even on Twitter anymore? Does anybody know? He might be sad or something right about now.

      Luvvie – Leader of the Twitter Goon Nation.

    • candigirlindmv
      November 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      Yes!!!! Whether it’s calling MY president out his name, protecting Beyonce by any means necessary or shutting down foolishness, Twitter has true soldiers fighting all types of battles!

  7. CreoleFleur
    November 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    This whole thing gave me a whole ‘notha life on Thursday!

  8. November 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Oh, it was epic. Tweets were flying. I was crying. Tony needs to thank Shonda Rimes for creating an epic series that stopped his roasting before he got to the crispy skin stage.

  9. Sticky-n-Sweet
    November 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    “If he’s not your man and you LAYS with him, don’t be surprised if he CHEETOS on you” iDied!!!

  10. Amber
    November 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    And you know some girl is outchea talmbout some “what would you do for my Klondike bar”? Smh

    • Nita
      November 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

      Amber, let Trojanae be great, she learned something that day, lmao!!!!

      • Bpurpleb001
        November 14, 2012 at 8:54 am

        Trojanae? hahahahahaha Trojanae!!! hahahahahahasnort wheeze wheeze Trojanae!!!

        • Amber
          November 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

          I just spit all my chips ahoy cookie out @Trojanae! too funny iquit

  11. November 13, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    THANK YOU FOR THIS! I just hollered!

  12. SanTara
    November 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Tony annoyed me to no end with this whole situation. He totally contradicted his own teaching. When a woman (YOU, Luvvie) calls him out on a very foolish and offensive tweet where were his “pleasantries”? It would have been pleasant to apologize for the poor analogy but instead he tweets about “people” being haters and ignorant. SMH Why did he remove the tweet if nothing was wrong with it? So a man is a pleasant gentleman if he calls a college educated woman ignorant instead of admitting his wrong? He’s strong in his convictions? UGH!! Sir! You speak from a podium made of marshmallows! AND to watch women cosign him with references to “the enemy being busy and trying to block his calling” (I’m paraphrasing) DISGUSTING! $12 tickets to gain entrance to his seminars is not some supernatural move of the spirit. NAW!! Show me the numbers! What is the success rate for attendees avoiding these “popeyes” and marrying a “Pleasant” Man who respects their baked and fried parts. Marriage is the goal, right? *sucks teeth*

  13. Shadgg02
    November 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    iScreamed and iHollered!!! got these nurses shushing me cuz im waking up the entire waiting room! *crying real tears and hiccuping*

  14. Ms. Niecy
    November 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    oK, I’m reading this ish like is this for real…i give myself this much, i made half way through the fuckery before I was like ok icannot take anymore!!! those 100,000 followers better have only followed his ass for a good hearty laugh because of they think he has any sense of any kind, they just as dumb as THE GIRL WHO WAS BAMBOOZLED story…i mean really…this is craxy..he can’t really believe this crap….what he do, ride past mcdonald’s and be inspired by the dollar menu….Stick a fork in it

    • TeeNikki
      November 14, 2012 at 12:09 am

      Get out of my head. I JUST got finished sayin that!!

      • Ms. Niecy
        November 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm

        my bad, great minds know bullish when they see it, lol

  15. Sharday
    November 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I was there from start to finish!

    I gotta say…it was an epic dragging. You forgot to mention how he started talking about crabs in a barrel and other nonsense once he figured out he was getting the roasting of a lifetime!

  16. Chelsea
    November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    That Olive Garden tweet has me choking over here! I can’t even click the forward button! LIFE!

  17. Ambar
    November 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Why do I insist on reading your blogs when I am in the library or in class? The one about having your Burger King and rolling through Five Guys had me snorting like a dork. So embarrassed right now. Its amazing the problems you cause on Twitter!

  18. November 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    i’m breaking up with you – because of you, i have become a Twitter Follower of Foolishness – i can’t depend on others to RT nonsense like Tyrese claiming he was “in the game” with Tupac (shout out @Steenfox!) – i must experience the idiocity firsthand – and yes, i said idiocity – if Tyrese can make up words, i can too. so i’m quitting you – until Scandal day – or until you post another blog filled with ratchetness – soooo … 10 minutes?

  19. nichole
    November 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    My side was sore from laughing so hard at #4. I couldn’t get past #4.

    He should be ashamed of himself. I want to call Huck on him.

  20. MissWits
    November 13, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    While I was definitely chuckling at your hilarious tweets — I must say – for the first time I’m kinda slightly disappointed with this roast. :-/

    Please don’t jump on me folks — I’m a Luvvie Fan! (I burn at least 22.7 calories/day laughing at her foolishness) — but I think if you ever heard Tony Gaskins’ story before, you wouldn’t be roasting him.

    Yes – there’s a lot of faux-relationship “experts” out there – but I think he genuinely cares about helping females. I don’t buy his books or attend his seminars, but I applaud the Black men who have turned their lives around, become successful and use their lives to help females. I know his quotes are cheesy and a little extra (insert the Popeye quote) – but at least he’s not degrading women like most of the R&B dudes and Hip Hop fellas.

    Come on y’all — can a Brotha catch a break? lol


    Anywho – still love ya though…

    Now let me go hide… I bet some of y’all are gonna come at my neck…

    • ab
      November 14, 2012 at 2:35 am

      What ‘females’ is he helping?
      female goats? female dogs? female sheep? cos lord knows it ain’t female human beings.

      The man is a pimp, he is pimping on the insecurity of women. No more no less.
      And you have bought the cool aid evidenced by the fact that you can’t even recognise that the ‘chicken/popeye’ quote was degrading.

      Since when is it okay to reduce women (not ‘females’) to the sum of their body parts in order to tell them not to reduce themselves to the sum of their body parts.

      This is foolishness and just #fullofshit.

      • DJay
        November 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

        EXACTLY!!!!! Side note to MsWits, I respect you for sharing your opposing opinion, but I completly agree with ab and hope that you re-read that second to last statement several times because that is the bottom line. Thanks but no thanks on his kind of “caring” and advice. I prefer mine with a double side of genuine respect.

        • MissWits
          November 14, 2012 at 10:38 pm

          While I get where both of you are coming from – I don’t think he’s talking to you. You women respect yourselves. There are many who don’t. His demographic is the girls who call their parts “Cake, cake, cake” and such. And remember the whole “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” stuff? That was another degrading song but yet another female.

          Please y’all let’s not front and act like some women don’t enjoy referring to their “girly parts” as menu items. I’m not saying its right or ideal. He does it to make a point to these women – and get them to see how shady men view them: like pieces of meat.

          I respect myself and I’m sure you do too. We’re not his demographic – but if his references help one female take a second look at her mistakes and change her life for the better – more power to him.

          Whether he’s real or not – who knows.

          But again – I was cackling at the jokes too. I’m just being honest and respectfully agreeing to disagree.

          • ab
            November 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

            honestly, it doesn’t matter who he is talking to, its a swindle. No woman (not females) deserves this drivel.

            I’m grown, I can sing ‘my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’. Its a song, I can indulge for 3mins and it will still not deprive me of my self-respect, femininity or womanhood.

            The fact that a woman might disrespect themselves doesn’t mean that he needs to pile on.
            You are willing to give him the benefit of doubt by saying ‘who knows if he is real or not’

            I’m not willing to do so.
            It is blatantly obvious that he is a crook, swindler and a pimp. No I’m not giving him a break.He doesn’t deserve one
            He has no authority here and I will not ever approve his gospel. Saying oh he is not talking about people like me doesn’t work, he made no such distinction and the people who will fall for this are not the people who are calling their parts ‘cake’ or anything else.

            It’s the women who are lonely, who have done everything all those ‘rela-tyrese-ship’ guru’s have told them and still come up short.

            This man hates women, this is what women haters do.

  21. TeeNikki
    November 14, 2012 at 12:20 am

    DON’T BE COMIN UP IN HERRR WIT’ NO LOGIC AND SYMPATHIES!!!!! We ain’t bout that life in these parts. ANYbody is fair game for roasting LMBO

    But you cool. We ain’t got no beef wit’ you, Patty! Next time, just Chex yourself In The Mirror before you come In & Out of Luvvie’s house, cuz this isn’t Sam’s Club, this is a place of foolery, shenanigans and ratchetness, so stay on Target and don’t Border on being lame, or you Macy the Golden Corral from the wrong side of the locks. I’m just sayin.

    ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m not on the Twitters, so this is my contribution!!!

    • Stace
      November 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

      BWAHHHHAAAHHHHAHHHHHHH…….Girl and with that, I bout to shut down my computer and go, SEgzual Chocolate!

    • MissWits
      November 14, 2012 at 10:56 pm

      LOL! Mah bad – I can’t help it sometimes. My invisible “WWJD” bracelet be’s having me all sympathetic ‘n such. I did forget that this was the official Ratchet House of Horrors and that all was fair game. Except Oprah. She gets a pass…

      Anyhoo – maybe Jesus will give me two gold stickers today. I know I won’t be getting them here…

      Pardon me as I disgracefully exit…

      *curtsies and walks away slowly…then trips over dress*

      I’ll be back for a heaping serving of foolery this week 🙂

  22. November 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

    AMEN! Lmaooo i fell to tears when I seen these tweets! I have no idea who half of these “relationship doctors” , they are an embarrassment to my profession as a REAL therapist. Maybe I need to start tweeting foolish love analogies and see if I get thousands of followers LOL. #Tragedy

  23. LondonPRDiva
    November 14, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    OMG, Luvvie, ggggiiiii-rrrllll, I’m a Houston publicist, WHY was this joker JUST in the H spewing this garbage at his bullshit #MrsRightTour! Trying to actually CHARGE women like $25to come and hear him speak at Houston Community College though???

    Then this cheap bastard didn’t even want to hire any of us on the scene to do a damn eblast to get the word out, trying to use “his own resources”!!!!

    WHAT resources fool?? On a Saturday morning?? in the H?!?! THIS NINJA!!!!!

    Girl, let’s just say he had numerous & MANY seats last weekend, #iBurn, bawahaha!!

    • LondonPRDiva
      November 14, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      OK, just read Storify thread.

      I hate you Luvvie. And EBBER THANG you stand for!!!!!!!!!!!!


  24. A. Malone
    November 15, 2012 at 9:15 am

    This dude is cornier than a truckload of Fritos! I got halfway through the madness up there and had to take a time out! I felt my I.Q. drop, but y’all snatched every piece of hair he had, WTG!!!

  25. November 18, 2012 at 10:56 am

    “Don’t let him be your Burger King if you can’t have it your way” <<— LITERALLY ROTHLMAO
    These tweets are EPIC!!

  26. November 29, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I don’t know how I missed this post…but I’ve been in tears for the last 10 minutes!

  27. […] that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And this is why Tony Gaskins got dragged on Twitter for […]

  28. MJG
    December 31, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Thank God you put this into the dumbest tweets section. The memories….

    February 24, 2013 at 10:50 pm


  30. Leon X (@LeonX)
    March 13, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    I know I’m late. I’m just here to day I’m glad I made it on to the list. #StartedFromTheBottom

    • Leon X (@LeonX)
      March 13, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      Should read “I’m here to say.” Oops

  31. […] quick wit. The #PaulasBestDishes and the dragging of Chuck Woolery the bigot. And the time we let Tony Gaskins HAVE IT for his sexist tweets. We do unite for epic wig snatches […]

  32. February 6, 2014 at 1:37 pm

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  33. Tinalle
    October 31, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    Life coach= no educational background/titty baby church boy Bwahahaha!!! I’m sorry, but he cant be taken seriously,
    The biggest thing about Tony is one hes not a social worker or family relations council therapist.He profits from weak desperate women looking for man hate validation. He makes money (pimps) from women that don’t have sense to simply talk to their man.He makes money of women marketing books that actually promotes promiscuity and not problem solving. basically give up leave then go repeat the same relationship pattern and blame on the next man. many guys are working to repair relationships and his quotes (marketing) destroys all efforts to reconcile by negative reinforcement .

    • Osei
      December 2, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      Great comment!

  34. February 3, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    Oh my!! So I just called him out on his new book called “Life Coach A-Z” and he blocked me on Facebook! He’s such a coward!! I’ve seen him reply to others giving him thumbs b up but can’t defend his self so I asked him… What is a life coach- Jesus gave us His Holy Spirit to be our “life coach” what we need u for? He’s a false teacher please share!! It goes deeper but that’s all that needs to be said right now.