So I Went to a Trapped in the Closet Sing-A-Long
Last week, my girl Karyn hit me up on GChat about a Trapped in the Closet Sing-a-Long happening in Chicago and I told her to GTFOH. And she was like “No. It’s really a thing! It’s happening next Friday” and I clicked the link. AND SHE WAS RIGHT! It was happening at the Music Box Theater, put together by some group called Action Pack, for a measly $12. While the whole thing plays on a giant screen, subtitles will appear so everyone could sing along. It was like Karaoke on crack. It’s like the true definition of doing hoodrat things with your friends. I HAD TO BE THERE!
And please let me take this time to acknowledge how much R. Kelly AIN’T SHIT. I feel like this is a requirement anytime I mention his name. He is a terrible person. But I’ll be dambed if he doesn’t major in music ratchetery. I had to go to this. For fuckery’s sake. DON’T BE MAD AT ME!
So me, Karyn, DeeDee and Brittany got tickets and got hyped for this sing-a-long. DeeDee said she prepared by watching the chapters. There’s 50-eleben chapters to Trapped in the Closet, the classic hip-hopera, and I basically quit after chapter 5 or something. I prepared by doing nothing. I just told folks to follow me on Instagram because that was the place I was gonna be uploading pics of the foolery.
Yes, this poster was clearly designed using MS Paint and nothing fancy. The bootleggedness is appropos for this event.
It was a midnight show and we got there at 11:45. The place was ALREADY packed! Folks were clearly READY for this. And in looking around, it was a mostly white crowd. Black folks must not have known about it. That, and white folks love karaoke and sing-a-longs. This would be a good night!
When the lights in the theater went down, they said we’d be doing a warm-up before the actual sing-a-long. I didn’t realize how crunk it’d get.
It started with “Bump N Grind” and people went nuts.
The entire theater started doing a collective body roll. Everyone around us was winding for their LIVES. It was like someone just cast a vertical worm spell on the crowd and it was hilarious. PLAIN hilarity. And then they played “Ignition.” And everyone got to “BEEP BEEP” and “TOOT TOOT”ing. And it ended with “Step in the Name of Love.” And folks filled the aisles stepping like their lives depended on it.
This took me back to college days and me and my girls were dancing and singing so hard that we were sweating. Peeling off layers as we got our lives hollering at these hits. I body-rolled like I was getting paid to do it. CHILE!
Finally, after the three-song warm up, Trapped in the Closet started and everyone sat down. The moment the name flashed on the screen, the whole place went WILD. There was so much ratchet energy!
And then BOOM!
AND HE OPENED THE CLAWSET… closet… closet…
Omg people were singing along with such enthusiasm. IT. WAS. AWESOME.
Folks kept up for like the first 9 chapters. By chapter 10, people forgot it was a sing-a-long and the theater got quiet as everyone was all into this RATCHET ass soap opera.
There was drama and bad rhymes and bad acting and bad suits! It was kind of awesome. And R.Kelly’s lack of sense. Dude rhymed “Bridget” with “midget.” Like… sir. Also, the subtitles KEPT me cackling. The spelling of some words were phonetic.
AXES = asks. PREGNATE = pregnant. TROOF = truth. BAFROOM = bathroom
The sing-a-long went through all the chapters and then showed us the preview for the upcoming chapters being released in 5 days. I need to find out what happens with Sylvester, Rufuss, Chuck, Gwendolyn, Twan, Cathy, Roxanne, Tina an’ ’em.
Yes. ALL of this.
When the show ended and everyone filed out, folks just kept talmbout how awesome it was. Yes. I HAD A BALL! A ratchet ass good time. It was everything. 2 hours of singing with 500 people you don’t know and bodyrolling for your life is a grand time. And they were giving away these handy things:
Yes. A RUBBER…rubber…rubber…
And then we ended up at IHOP for some pancakes, eggs and hot cocoa. And all was well. The night was everything. EVERYTHING.
Next week, we’re going to the Sound of Music Sing-A-Long and MY BODY IS READY! That is one of my favorite movies EVER so I will be singing like the hills are alive! \(.__.)/