My Life

So I Went to a Trapped in the Closet Sing-A-Long

Last week, my girl Karyn hit me up on GChat about a Trapped in the Closet Sing-a-Long happening in Chicago and I told her to GTFOH. And she was like “No. It’s really a thing! It’s happening next Friday” and I clicked the link. AND SHE WAS RIGHT! It was happening at the Music Box Theater, put together by some group called Action Pack, for a measly $12. While the whole thing plays on a giant screen, subtitles will appear so everyone could sing along. It was like Karaoke on crack. It’s like the true definition of doing hoodrat things with your friends. I HAD TO BE THERE!

And please let me take this time to acknowledge how much R. Kelly AIN’T SHIT. I feel like this is a requirement anytime I mention his name. He is a terrible person. But I’ll be dambed if he doesn’t major in music ratchetery. I had to go to this. For fuckery’s sake. DON’T BE MAD AT ME!

So me, Karyn, DeeDee and Brittany got tickets and got hyped for this sing-a-long. DeeDee said she prepared by watching the chapters. There’s 50-eleben chapters to Trapped in the Closet, the classic hip-hopera, and I basically quit after chapter 5 or something. I prepared by doing nothing. I just told folks to follow me on Instagram because that was the place I was gonna be uploading pics of the foolery.

Luvvie at Trapped In the Closet Singalong

Yes, this poster was clearly designed using MS Paint and nothing fancy. The bootleggedness is appropos for this event.

It was a midnight show and we got there at 11:45. The place was ALREADY packed! Folks were clearly READY for this. And in looking around, it was a mostly white crowd. Black folks must not have known about it. That, and white folks love karaoke and sing-a-longs. This would be a good night!

When the lights in the theater went down, they said we’d be doing a warm-up before the actual sing-a-long. I didn’t realize how crunk it’d get.

It started with “Bump N Grind” and people went nuts.

TrappedInCloset

The entire theater started doing a collective body roll. Everyone around us was winding for their LIVES. It was like someone just cast a vertical worm spell on the crowd and it was hilarious. PLAIN hilarity. And then they played “Ignition.” And everyone got to “BEEP BEEP” and “TOOT TOOT”ing. And it ended with “Step in the Name of Love.” And folks filled the aisles stepping like their lives depended on it.

This took me back to college days and me and my girls were dancing and singing so hard that we were sweating. Peeling off layers as we got our lives hollering at these hits. I body-rolled like I was getting paid to do it. CHILE!

Finally, after the three-song warm up, Trapped in the Closet started and everyone sat down. The moment the name flashed on the screen, the whole place went WILD. There was so much ratchet energy!

And then BOOM!

Trapped in the Closet 2

AND HE OPENED THE CLAWSET… closet… closet…

Omg people were singing along with such enthusiasm. IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Folks kept up for like the first 9 chapters. By chapter 10, people forgot it was a sing-a-long and the theater got quiet as everyone was all into this RATCHET ass soap opera.

There was drama and bad rhymes and bad acting and bad suits! It was kind of awesome. And R.Kelly’s lack of sense. Dude rhymed “Bridget” with “midget.” Like… sir. Also, the subtitles KEPT me cackling. The spelling of some words were phonetic.

AXES = asks. PREGNATE = pregnant. TROOF = truth. BAFROOM = bathroom

The sing-a-long went through all the chapters and then showed us the preview for the upcoming chapters being released in 5 days. I need to find out what happens with Sylvester, Rufuss, Chuck, Gwendolyn, Twan, Cathy, Roxanne, Tina an’ ‘em.

Trapped in the Closet Chart

Yes. ALL of this.

When the show ended and everyone filed out, folks just kept talmbout how awesome it was. Yes. I HAD A BALL! A ratchet ass good time. It was everything. 2 hours of singing with 500 people you don’t know and bodyrolling for your life is a grand time. And they were giving away these handy things:

Oh My God a Rubber Rubber Rubber

Yes. A RUBBER…rubber…rubber…

HA! Win.

And then we ended up at IHOP for some pancakes, eggs and hot cocoa. And all was well. The night was everything. EVERYTHING.

Next week, we’re going to the Sound of Music Sing-A-Long and MY BODY IS READY! That is one of my favorite movies EVER so I will be singing like the hills are alive! \(.__.)/

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26 Comments

  1. November 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm — Reply

    That sounds so fun and ratchet!!! I would love to do something like that! I should find out how to organize something similar to that here and make some money! #Minuswell get paid for rathetry, lol

    • TaDowe
      November 18, 2012 at 10:17 am — Reply

      i was just thinking the SAME thing! How can I organize such racheetness in the DMV! i am serioulsy sitting here like how can i get this done, who do i call, who has all the chapters? this MUST happen

      • November 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm — Reply

        Agreed. i think Chicago wins w/ the R’s sing a long b/c that’s his people. not saying it wouldn’t work in the DMV b/c it’s certainly worth a try… and its def something that could happen at like the Howard Theatre per se…

      • BlueOrchid10
        July 23, 2013 at 12:53 pm — Reply

        They just did this RKelly event ALL THE WAY IN ASHBURN. Me and a girlfriend went and had so much fun.

  2. November 17, 2012 at 3:02 pm — Reply

    Brilliant recap. Also, I think I might have been sitting in the row in front of you at the Music Box. I was with the two gents who sang the “whoos” for the first eleventy chapters. #troof

    • November 17, 2012 at 3:10 pm — Reply

      OMG YES!!! We loved them! How awesome is that? did you get your whole life like we did??

      • November 17, 2012 at 3:19 pm — Reply

        Between the dance party (note to self: learn to step, Jasmine, you’ve lived in Chicago long enough) and the “OMG A RUBBER” condoms and, of course, the videos, I nearly stroked out from sheer joy.

        Some chapters I loved (Bridget and Big Man) more so than others (Roxanne and Tina were pretty boring but saved by Twan’s being unintentionally hilarious) but I still think Trapped in the Closet is R’s masterpiece. Cannot wait for chapter 23!

        • November 17, 2012 at 5:28 pm — Reply

          Crazy that you were sitting right in front of us! I loved the 2 gents doing the “whoos”–ha! Glad to know that there’s a general consensus of how enjoyable this really was!

  3. M
    November 17, 2012 at 3:02 pm — Reply

    I have never heard of these sing a long parties but I’ll be on the look out for next year. Sounds like fun!

  4. StacyAustralia
    November 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm — Reply

    This recap just made my day. I’m jealous I don’t live somewhere fun. Boring a** SC!!

    • FelicityR
      November 19, 2012 at 9:52 am — Reply

      I’m in SC, too… Oh, how I miss visiting Chicago! You should try improv at Theatre 99 in Charleston if you’re close enough.

  5. Shaleen
    November 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm — Reply

    This is on my bucket list! It seems so fun!
    Hope you’ll recap the Sound of Music sing-a-long, I wish I could be there. :(

  6. Tainette
    November 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    If this was done out here in The Bay Area I would so be there to get my life. I love sing-a-longs. We get the most epic Purple Rain sing-a-long and it’s something not to be missed.

    • TaDowe
      November 18, 2012 at 10:20 am — Reply

      that sounds amazing and immediatley I would die for YOU started playing in my head

  7. HBSQ1
    November 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm — Reply

    As soon as I read “started with Bump N Grind” why did I do my own body roll as I scrolled to the next line? What is it about that song!?

  8. Penny
    November 18, 2012 at 1:00 am — Reply

    YESSS!!! I was there and I was completely unprepared for the awesomeness that would be this event. Went with some white co-workers (insert potential awkwardness) but turns out we were ALL one big ratchet R. Kelly family . Ah-mazing!

  9. Dee
    November 18, 2012 at 7:32 am — Reply

    Omg that is so ratchet, I wish I could go to one! Ratchet, 1, couth, 0.

  10. November 18, 2012 at 6:52 pm — Reply

    That is so cool. Who knew such an event existed? Will you post this event on your site the next time it’s scheduled?

  11. StillSuga
    November 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm — Reply

    Tomfoolery like this is what I soooooo miss about Chicago!!

  12. jake
    November 20, 2012 at 2:47 am — Reply

    Oh dear, am a guy and I LOVE LUVVIE!! This is just sad. I blame shanselman.

    • November 20, 2012 at 3:14 am — Reply

      LOL I’m lovable, Jake! It’s not sad for you to love me! :-D

  13. Xicacha
    November 20, 2012 at 4:18 pm — Reply

    Speaking of black folks, my mom signed up for the Music Box newsletter after we went there for Mother’s Day to see “Mommie Dearest” (its our favorite movie, don’t judge us!) and she called me about this sing-a-long last week. She told me she was gonna buy tickets but then changed her mind because she figured it was gonna be all white people and she felt “some kinda way” about how much they were gonna enjoy it, lol.

  14. Dr. Goddess
    November 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm — Reply

    Luvvie!! You gave me so much life with this review!! Thanks for taking one for the team! I would have been there with you!! Here I was resting my tilted pelvis and I stumbled upon the IFC channel and it was on. Yeeeeesssss!!! Lemme go see if there’s a singalong in my city!

  15. November 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm — Reply

    I sooooooooo wish that I coulda been there!
    I wanna be you when I grow up Luvvie!

  16. candigirlindmv
    November 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm — Reply

    Laughing so hard iCried. You never fail me !

  17. November 29, 2012 at 3:14 pm — Reply

    SINCLAIR (WIFE OF OVERTON, MOTHER OF OVERCLAIR AND SINCLOVERTON) WRITES COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG LIKE RAGULAR ASS ME?!!? MAN!!

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