I’m not sure why it took this long but we finally meet Porsha Williams-Stewart, the newest cast member of Real Housewives of Atlanta in episode 3. It seems her and Kenya have similar motives for being on the show, which of course means they butt heads immediately. I’ll get to that later though.
Gregg Wants Keys – Nene and her ex-husband Gregg are really doing this dating thing to they go get pedicures together. He’s rejuvenated passion for her got him talmbout how he wants two keys, one to her house and one to her heart. Sir, your golddigging is showing. Kindly tuck it in. He even makes the aesthetician get up so he could put lotion on Nene’s feet and kiss it, so she knows it’s real O_O.
Donkey Booty Planning – Phaedra and Apollo are planning the workout tape to help women get the donks they want. We find out that Apollo’s about to get certified in nutrition and fitness. Check him out getting some credentials!
Kim’s Still Homeless – Miss Zolciak is still whining about how a 5,000 square foot townhouse is too small for her family, and Sweetie’s still rocking this Cousin It wig like it makes sense. Kim and Kroy stay talmbout sex though and how she stays pregnant. “You’re gonna have to keep your penis to yourself after this one.” “You’re gonna have to stay off it.” They are so randy!
Hey, Porsha, Girl – Kenya meets up with newbie, Porsha, who is married to Kordell Stewart, ex-NFLer. She talks like a 12-year-old cheerleader, and seems like a bimbo. She invites Kenya to come to her charity event, which is for her grandfather’s organization and Miss Moore tells us she has a foundation. Chile… ok. In the middle of the lunch, Porsha starts asking Kenya about marriage and kids and the latter doesn’t much appreciate it. Ruh roh. I see where this is going.
Nene’s Not New York – Nene’s in New York for press week for NBC and Cynthia comes to visit. Nene says she’s never ridden the NYC subway, since she’s always in towncars and Cynthia says she needs to. You haven’t experienced New York until you’ve been two floors underground, seeing rats run across the floor and having people mean-mug you for just being. You have not.
Kandi Packs Up – Kandi’s packing up her old home so she can make the complete transition to the new house. Helping her is Uncle Robert, who is like that uncah everyone has. You know the one who wears short sets and matching bucket hats with socks and sandals? Yes, that one. I loved watching Kandi pack up ALL her awards. Kim is concerned with packing her wigs. Kandi is packing GRAMMYs. Win.
Kenya Opens Up – Phaedra and Kenya meet up and the subject of marriage comes up again. Kenya says she’s working on it but from last episode, it doesn’t look like her man is. OOP. Then the convo turns to Kenya’s pain of dealing with her mom not wanting her and her Granny raising her instead. She says counseling has helped her deal with it and I loved that she gave props to therapy. Lawd knows we all need it. #NoShame. Word to The Siwe Project.
Cynthia Takes Nene’s Subway Virginity – Cynthia takes Nene on the subway and Miss Leakes shows up in 5 inch Louboutins. These little white girls recognized Nene, asking her “were you on Glee?” Y’all see her crossing demographics outchea? And then they ended their excursion by getting a hot dog on the street. Well, Cynthia did. Nene wasn’t having it.
Charity Event Debacle – The day of Porsha’s charity event arrives and she’s talmbout how it’s “30 of the most powerful women in Atlanta” in attendance. Ok, girl. (-__-) Kenya shows up with a friend and throws shade from the beginning. Kordell shows up to surprise Porsha with a Chanel bag and a check. Couldn’t he have just done that at home? New money always wants to show out.
When he leaves, Porsha gets on the mic and introduces Kenya as “Miss America.” Kenya looked like she wanted to fight, talmbout “If Michelle Obama was there and you called her the first lady of Zimbabwe…” GIRL, ARE YOU COMPARING YOURSELF TO FLOTUS??? Yes, Porsha should have gotten it right but don’t act like it’s something that just happened yesterday. You were Miss USA 19 years ago. It was so long ago that the kids born then are now in college. That title is older than Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith. And Bill Clinton was in his FIRST TERM in office. Chile…
Kenya complains that it’s freezing so she steps out to basically bitch with her friend and wait on Miss Lawrence. It’s odd because why’s she inviting Lawrence to an all-woman event? Anywho, Porsha comes outside and tells Kenya to leave since she’s being disrespectful of her “legacy.” Girl SHET UP!
But she won some roast points when she said Kenya’s charity isn’t even “in search engines.”
iHOLLERED. And because I’m petty, I went to go check. I surely did a search of her charity in Google and the only mentions of it are in bios of Kenya Moore. No events or related pics to be seen anywhere. And if you type in “kenya moore foundation” in google images, it’s pics of Kenya in bad bikinis and wind blowing through her hair. The Kenya Moore Foundation’s next event is on the 32nd of December. OOP.
So both ladies are petty and trifling, but in different ways, and I look forward to them reading each other again. I’m pretty sure it’ll happen by next episode.
Whatcha’ll think of Porsha? Also, did you notice that Kenya’s yansh looked like two basketballs in her dress? Is her ass fake?