Dumbest Tweets

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012: Part 1

Twitter has been proving that children were indeed left behind since 2006. This is why DumbestTweets.com exists and is never out of material. There are currently 400 posts sitting in drafts and over 1,700 posts have been published.

Anywho, it’s about that time of the year where I am tasked with the super tough job of narrowing down all the grammatically-challenged and logic-lacking tweets that were posted this year into a measly 50. It’s like having to pick a pair of shoes as my favorite. SO. HARD. But I did it.

You can check out past years’ lists of Dumbest Tweets.

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012: Part 1 (in no particular order):

1.

AlterEagle-Aug-5

Alter eagle? Lemme find out Twitter gives her wings. O__o

2.

2ndDegreeWhoHeKeillFirstTimeApril11

LAWD, HELP YO’ CHILDREN!!! “Who he kill the 1st time???” *faints*

3. RT @_goddamnjas: Zoe Saldana is pretty but she’s anne or resick! She needs to eat!

So do we know if she’s anne or if she’s resick?

4. RT @megatronjr: My girl gave me an ulta mate him. Give her my password to my macbook or break up. What do i do

First thing you need to do is start paying attention to the red squiggly line. Not ultimatum but ULTA MATE HIM??? Chile… iCan’t.

5. RT @TaeAnt11: Wait. Obama got 64 states & Romney got 40???? Bitch we only got 51 states!!

But… that’s not e’em… *deep sigh*

6.

KillCommitSuicide---Apr-5

I’d rather quit than give up because I’m unable to deal.

7. RT @if_itaint_b: Derrick Rose trying to speak on National Television like he doesn’t have a speech peppermint

Maybe he wanted to keep his speech fresh? O_O Sir, that is IMPEDIMENT. Womp.

8. RT @___SDJ: Scissors?! This is what the lesbian race has come too?! Sticking scissors in each other?!

So Lesbianism is a race now? Have they added this to the census forms? I’m just asking.

9. RT @KeishaCakesXXX: WET LIKE DA SPECIFIC OCEAN!!

Which one in particular is she talmbout? She’s gotta be more #pacific. O_O Also, why are you hollering?

10.

MilkDay

I hate everything.

11. RT @razorramon_: salary and ranch taste good as shit!

I heard wages and Italian was also delicious. O_O

12. RT @Justcam21: I can’t wait to cut the andbuildadacord when my daughter is born

The andbuildadacord??? Do you build a bear with it??? How do misspell umbilical to this point?

13. RT @brownlady25: To my calculation if I save $38 each week, I can have a million with in 3 yrs! Sounds like a plan to me!

Unless there are new math rules or each year is now dumb long, this is just the wrongest! *sigh* Maybe her calculator broke.

14.

BonjourArabic---Jul-15

No, your shirt is not in Arabic. Jesus be a fence and a Rosetta Stone set for this child.

15. RT @Bj843: U gon get what’s coming to you tho… Caramel is a bitch.

And nougat is a ho. O_o

16. RT @IPhone_Jerome: Jim Jones bout to merry Kimbella congrats on there In gadge mint black love is beautiful

So much foolery so little time. In gadge mint? In what world does that even sound ok??? And this person’s lack of respect for punctuation of any kind is a mess. Fail all over.

17. RT @citychamp: damn whitney houston oddtopsee results came back… cocaine.

ODDTOPSEE??? Do you think that red squiggly line means “good job?” Sir… AUTOPSY. I can’t e’em… Nawl.

18.

ObamasLastName

*lays my burdens down because I am TAHD*

19. RT @DannySwift: Shaq got his doctor It’s degree. #swag

Who is Doctor It and how do you get a degree from him? Because surely this fool didn’t mean doctorate. SURELY! O_____O

20. RT @rayplusray: Our generation has made a mochary of marraige.

And you have made a mockery of spelling. Sit down.

21. RT @itsjust_Ashley: Charlotte dumb ass. RT @Latron_James: What’s the pig’s name from Charlotte’s web?

You both fail. Go straight to the corner. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

22.

MooyBeing---Jan-12

You got an A talmbout “Mooy being?” NO MA’AM! We do not believe you! Please present more people and some receipts.

23. RT @CocoMuffen: gotta go see my ghanacolleges today

GHANACOLLEGES. Say it out loud multiple times. This fool meant “gynecologist.” WHEN I TELL YOU I AM DONE??? LMAOOOOO!!! Ma’am, you’re not going to Accra to research universities. Have a firm seat!

24. RT @__Mookie: Dude asked me if we can meet up for a cap of chino lmao…GAY

A cap of chino, though? CAP OF CHINO? The fact that your dumb ass thinks being asked out for a CAPPUCCINO is gay is why you can’t have nice things.

25.

TonyGaskins

Theo, that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And this is why Tony Gaskins got dragged on Twitter for hours!

Anywho, this is part 1. Here’s Part 2. If you’re wondering where Tyrese is on this list, don’t fret. I’ll be coming out with a 20 dumbest celebrity tweets that really should be titled “Things Tyrese Says.”

In case you’ve missed past lists, check them out here:

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012: Part 2 | 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010 | 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 1 | 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 2 | 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2011

For your daily fix, you can always check out Dumbest Tweets. Thanks to everyone who submits these tweets because it truly does take a village to find this foolishment. You can submit them directly to the Tumblr.

So which of these slayed you the most?

—————

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72 Comments

  1. Erin
    December 28, 2012 at 6:13 pm — Reply

    I literally couldn’t breathe for a few seconds after “And nougat is a ho.”

    • December 29, 2012 at 6:20 pm — Reply

      I’m just saying. Caramel ain’t the only one who ain’t living right. (-__-)

    • December 30, 2012 at 6:07 pm — Reply

      The first time I read that, I was in public and I yell laughed! All these months later and it STILL caught me off guard. At least I’m at home though.

  2. Tavesha
    December 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm — Reply

    CTFU

  3. Miss Hope
    December 28, 2012 at 6:40 pm — Reply

    “What’s up” in Arabic absoposulutely took my life!

  4. NATASHA
    December 28, 2012 at 6:49 pm — Reply

    U KNOW I CUT MY SON’R UMBUILDACORD WHEN HE WAS BORN! LMAO, I LAUGHED SO HARD OFF THIS LIST, MY BF LEFT THE ROOM
    WHITNEY’S ODDTOPSEE: COCAIN. THE WRITER’S: NOT A GAWD DAMNED THING, HEAD EMPTY AS FUCK! WOO!

    • NATASHA
      December 28, 2012 at 6:50 pm — Reply

      SON’S AND COCAINE

    • December 29, 2012 at 6:18 pm — Reply

      Why are you hollering? Outchea typing all loud.

  5. December 28, 2012 at 6:54 pm — Reply

    GHANACOLLEGES!!! Ooooh Lawwd! I can’t breafffe!

  6. Kelly
    December 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm — Reply

    “Lay my burdens down cause I am TAHD”…..now that made me run in place fighting the air cracking up!

  7. dmaclee
    December 28, 2012 at 7:10 pm — Reply

    I teach 8th grade English and this entire post has made me rethink my career decision. Like should I even go back to work? Should I even bother? Pass me some smelling salts, I feel faint.

    • December 28, 2012 at 7:27 pm — Reply

      No, don’t give up! We need our teachers now more than ever lol

    • Stace
      December 31, 2012 at 10:15 am — Reply

      What about becoming a GHANACOLLEGE-ist?

    • Tamika
      June 4, 2013 at 5:45 pm — Reply

      Oh gosh now this had me cracking up for real

  8. Sticky-n-Sweet
    December 28, 2012 at 7:17 pm — Reply

    I. AM. HOLLERING.

  9. December 28, 2012 at 7:26 pm — Reply

    I am literally wiping away the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard!!! These are hilarious, but also proof that our education system in this country is broken! Lord, help us all…but especially that poor soul who asked what Obama’s last name was…It’s so tragic.

  10. KemaB
    December 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm — Reply

    No wonder its been raining so much lately its Jesus weeping so heavily for these sad mis-informed children sigh…….. That being said Lmaaaaooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!! Milk day slayed me. I died at Oddtopsee but Ghanacolleges buried me six free under. I don’t know if I will make it thru the next 25.

  11. Kid
    December 28, 2012 at 7:46 pm — Reply

    Luvvie, take me to glory because I can no longer live in this world with all of the tomfoolery on twitter. Ghanacolleges? Ghanacolleges? Ghanacolleges? Caramel is a bitch … but nougat is a ho hahahahahaha. CAN’T WAIT FOR PART 2.

  12. December 28, 2012 at 8:23 pm — Reply

    I’m just mad at the fact that these are grown people making these hilariously pathetic spelling errors. *sigh*

  13. Jasmine
    December 28, 2012 at 8:50 pm — Reply

    Ghanacolleges? LOLOL! People are…dumb. :-( This saddens me.

    If not for your commentary after some of these tweets, I wouldn’t understand WHAT the person was talking about.

  14. TeeNikki
    December 28, 2012 at 10:49 pm — Reply

    L. U. V. V. I. E. I need a baby aspirin and a breathin treatment after this pageant of bammatry. iCain’t. I’m slain and done. It’s been real.

  15. snuffy
    December 28, 2012 at 11:04 pm — Reply

    Ghanacolleges is everything. That’s inspired.

  16. Terri
    December 28, 2012 at 11:15 pm — Reply

    RT @brownlady25: To my calculation if I save $38 each week, I can have a million with in 3 yrs! Sounds like a plan to me!

    Based on this new math, I will be retiring in six months….
    iCant

  17. Jay
    December 28, 2012 at 11:43 pm — Reply

    “And nougat is a ho”

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha. Thank you for making my day brighter. I think I am going to put this on my screen saver for whenever I need a pick me up.

    I don’t even remember the original tweet. This is all I need.

  18. December 29, 2012 at 12:14 am — Reply

    1) Me right now http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md3fjxT9H71qzzm3z.gif

    2) Luvvie needs to be a CIA code-breaker, cuz I sure as hell did not find “gynecologist” in “ghanacolleges” and oddtops… *punches the air*

    3) What is Obama’s last name? *weeps*

  19. [...] on DumbestTweets.com. But it’s important to spotlight the cream of the crop of the foolish. Part 1 of the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 is up, so here is the rest, as [...]

  20. December 29, 2012 at 11:43 am — Reply

    I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I read! I wonder if some people don’t do it to get some attention. No way in hell people can be that… challenged.

  21. MATTHEW ROSS
    December 29, 2012 at 11:56 am — Reply

    I REALLY HOPE THE WRITER DOESN’T BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE 51 STATES (#5). THERE STILL ARE ONLY 50. IF SO, YOU’RE JUST AS IGNORANT AS THE OTHERS.

    • Erin
      December 29, 2012 at 1:49 pm — Reply

      Why do you think it made the Dumbest Tweets list? She knows that.

    • April
      December 29, 2012 at 10:45 pm — Reply

      Mr. Ross, please have a seat and get your life.

  22. December 30, 2012 at 6:35 am — Reply

    Number 22!!!!!!!!!!!!! “NO MA’AM! We do not believe you! Please present more people and some receipts.” LMFAO!!!!!!!!! This whole list is crazy! I can’t!!! lolololol

  23. BklynBajan
    December 30, 2012 at 11:15 am — Reply

    …and nougat is a ho! That post had me in tears the first time and again on this list. Please put this on a shirt, mug, something I’ll order the first half dozen (or one I’m on a budget these days).

  24. Destiny
    December 30, 2012 at 2:41 pm — Reply

    What if these people texting these tweets are dyslexic and you all are making assholes of yourselves by making a mockery of them?

    • J. Lionel
      December 31, 2012 at 6:49 am — Reply

      Thank you, “Judd For The Defense” (oops, telling on my age here!)…but there ain’t no WAY you can blame this on dyslexia – STAHPITT!!

    • Beena
      January 1, 2013 at 9:38 pm — Reply

      I might be an asshole but at least I pay attention to the wavy red line when I only have 140 characters to get my point across….

    • Tamika
      June 4, 2013 at 5:48 pm — Reply

      The rest of the post proves that they are not dyslexic. They are simply stoopid. (yes I know how to spell stupid lol)

  25. tishytisha
    December 30, 2012 at 4:09 pm — Reply

    I had to come out of lurking for this. Ghanacolleges? Jesus take me now. I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

  26. December 30, 2012 at 6:11 pm — Reply

    The fact that I remember all of these is just…

    • Silk!
      December 31, 2012 at 3:42 pm — Reply

      And they’re all still funny.

      It’s clear that most of these individuals don’t read much.

  27. pecola
    December 31, 2012 at 3:45 pm — Reply

    #8 is even funnier when you know what scissoring actually is.

  28. December 31, 2012 at 3:55 pm — Reply

    Nougat and Charlotte’s Web. Loud and wrong.

  29. Marian
    December 31, 2012 at 7:13 pm — Reply

    This was hilarious!!

  30. dragonsage
    December 31, 2012 at 7:25 pm — Reply

    I am pretty sure #25 is a play on words and shouldn’t be on this list

    • Beena
      January 1, 2013 at 9:29 pm — Reply

      A ‘play on words’ doesn’t make it any less dumb….

  31. A
    January 1, 2013 at 11:57 pm — Reply

    I thought the Tweets themselves were hilarious but the authors try-hard comments underneath were in annoying. Trying that hard to be clever and funny is a bit embarrassing, dude, and the childish emoticons made you look extra pathetic.

    • Chandi1019
      January 2, 2013 at 9:45 am — Reply

      & imo your diatribe shows that your sense of humor is miserably inadequate…the author’s comments are what we come to her site for…

    • BeautyIAM
      January 2, 2013 at 11:33 pm — Reply

      So, what tweet of yours made this list? Whats embarrassing is your lack of humor.

  32. [...] wondered where Tyrese was on my Dumbest Tweets of 2012 lists and I had to remind them that he needed a special list for his foolishment. This year might [...]

  33. BeautyIAM
    January 2, 2013 at 11:36 pm — Reply

    I have to appreciate the breast, buns, and thighs one. Hahaha! So DUMB. The roast was even funnier. You guys got him good.

  34. fccsauce
    January 4, 2013 at 3:04 pm — Reply

    siri has A LOT to answer for

  35. Kate2214
    January 15, 2013 at 3:13 pm — Reply

    The pig’s name in Charlotte’s web is Wilbur not Charlotte. Charlotte is the spider…hence the title “Charlotte’s WEB”…as in a spider web…

    • Kate2214
      January 15, 2013 at 3:16 pm — Reply

      oh, I just re-read it, I didn’t understand at first that they were responding to someone else’s question!! Haha…that was almost close enough to make the list!

  36. Amanda
    February 19, 2013 at 6:46 am — Reply

    I see a trend in source of stupidity….shame.

  37. Kyle
    March 4, 2013 at 2:11 pm — Reply

    People that stupid really exist…

  38. Lena K.
    March 7, 2013 at 5:59 pm — Reply

    Oh, this is hilarious! I wonder if some of the ridiculous spelling errors like “Ghanacolleges” and “Caramel” were the result of speech-to-text apps like Siri. Still, people should proofread before tweeting.
    Thanks for the giggles!

  39. April 4, 2013 at 5:08 am — Reply

    My right eye won’t stop shedding tears of hilarity.

    That was beautiful…. sad, depressing, mind-blowingly hilariously beautiful.

  40. Laurie
    April 20, 2013 at 9:42 pm — Reply

    LOL where has this list and Tumblr been all my life…thank you.

  41. Mocha
    April 21, 2013 at 11:42 am — Reply

    Ummm, I’m still waiting for my coffee/caffeine to kick in — and it’s been a LONG time since I revisited the story; but for #21…the pig’s name was Wilbur, right? Charlotte was the spider. So why did they both fail?

  42. Donna
    April 27, 2013 at 5:33 am — Reply

    Do not blame the education system for the garbage on this site!!!!! I work in a school and you cannot make children do what they do not want to do. I just spent a week babysitting a child who did not want to learn. The child slept from 7:45 to 9:00, took a restroom break, went back to sleep. The child woke at 11 am demanding lunch. At noon lunch was served. The child then spent the next two hours trying to pick fights with the peers in the room. Then complained life wasn’t fair and he/she never got to have fun at school. Children are failing themselves!!!!!!! It has nothing to do with the teachers or school district the children are in.

  43. kender
    May 1, 2013 at 8:14 pm — Reply

    i can only survive having read this by assuming that the majority were posted by ‘smart’ phones and victims of the dreaded autocorrect! lol

  44. [...] my 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 1) post, you can see that pics from it have been pinned over 9,000 times. NINE [...]

  45. Mark
    May 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm — Reply

    Amazingly the girl making fun of these people for their spelling and other mistakes was also entirely unable to put together a decent sentence. She’s talmbout (correct horrific usage?) other people, maybe she should look inward first.

    • Jess
      August 19, 2013 at 4:07 pm — Reply

      The difference – she’s joking; the people on Twitter are making a serious effort to say something and sound smart.

  46. Brieanna
    July 15, 2013 at 6:39 pm — Reply

    It is upsetting that there are so many ignorant people out there.

  47. September 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm — Reply

    […] are a few examples; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYF9bImkOL4, https://www.facebook.com/WSOTD, http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2012/12/50-dumbest-tweets-2012.html.  Not everyone posts such garbage.  However, if traditional scholarly works are dying out in […]

  48. November 24, 2013 at 10:54 am — Reply

    […] 9 Stay in school, kids. AweseomelyLuvvie.com […]

  49. […] AweseomelyLuvvie.com […]

  50. 21 People Who Should Have Googled It - Ghana News
    November 26, 2013 at 2:01 am — Reply

    […] 9 Stay in school, kids. AweseomelyLuvvie.com […]

  51. November 27, 2013 at 2:35 pm — Reply

    […] 9 Stay in school, kids. AweseomelyLuvvie.com […]

  52. […] only 2 left for the year) and my year-end Dumbest Tweets list (have you checked out the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012? You should if not). There’s a good chance that I’ll be posting randomly because I […]

  53. […] my 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 1) post, you can see that pics from it have been pinned over 9,000 times. NINE […]

  54. Brandon P
    July 8, 2014 at 12:54 pm — Reply

    honestly whats wrong with the charlottes web tweet lmao only 1 failed other one was a question bur if i remember i think his name was wilbur…

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