Stevie Wonder Would Play At Harpo’s Juke Joint and I’ont Like It

[ 15 ] December 22, 2012 |

I’ve always been a Stevie Wonder fan. I know all his songs and I love him. He is a genius. But his PR team is not.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a sternly-worded letter to Stevie Wonder telling him to fire his team because they don’t want the best for him. Judging by how they dress him like he’s spokesperson for the House of Dereon Mufasa Collection, they don’t love him. Plus, no one’s told him that bald is the new black and he’d look good with no hair. Instead of the hairline that starts behind his ears. Lawd, forgive me but Stevie’s brocs (braids and locs) are hanging on for dear life!

Stevie Wonder

Anywho, fast forward to now and I’m STILL mad at Stevie’s people. For the above reasons and one more. THEY WILL BOOK HIM FOR ANY GIG. Any. gig. Stevie Wonder wil perform ANYWHERE now. It doesn’t matter how big or how small. You call him and he’ll be there. Award shows, weddings, bar mitvahs, backyard barbeques, school plays.

Stevie would perform at Harpo’s Juke Joint. O_O

“Where’s Stevie?” “Fixing ta play at the Joint.” NAWL!

Lately, I’ve seen Stevie perform on at least 3 award shows, and he’s either doing a tribute to someone or even worse, he’s the dude who closes the show as the credits roll. I think it was most recently the American Music Awards where they Stevie started playing and the credits legit rolled over his face. And last night, Stevie was performing a tribute to Eddie Murphy on SpikeTV. O____O

Stevie Wonder should NOT be the closing credits act for y’alls janky award shows! NAWL!!! This man and his brocs of glory should not stand for this because his legend is TOO fierce to be thrown in all our faces like this allatahm!

It’s like Stevie ain’t NEVER been to an awards show he ain’t performing at. Like they tell him “we can’t give you a ticket ‘less you get on stage.”  STEVIE, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS! iCan’t. *kicks trashcan*

And I’ma say it. Stevie Wonder has done TOO MANY TRIBUTES. I can’t e’em get excited no more. I be like “I just seent him yesterday doe.” It’s no longer exciting to hear his name as a performer because he has played at so many shows so frequently that all the novelty is gone.

Plus, he is forever paying #amish to one of his peers. No one honors HIM enough. He’s outlived so many of his fellow legends but that doesn’t mean he should be treated like some commoner. People outchea treating him like Sisqo and it ain’t fair!

Folks gotta start treating Stevie like the legend he is. Y’all outchea making him TOO accessible. And I blame his people for it. They’ve turned the Wondrous One into the MasterCard of music: Everywhere you want him to be, HE WILL BE THERE! O_O

Butthurt gif

I AM!

I mean, for realsies. I’m tempted to hire Stevie Wonder to come sing for me at breakfast. French toast would taste way better as I listen to him play live.

RT @TheNeshShow Stevie probably booked to open a Walgreens tomorrow

Right. He gon sing “My Cherie Walgreens”

RT @Myrtle_Urkel Stevie performing at PTA meetings and the opening of Obama’s Beauty Supply Store.

Who can croon about the need for yaki better?

RT @tishygirl Stevie’s providing the entertainment after Thanksgiving dinner. Our convo: “Hey Stevie, you wanna-” “YUP!”

Basically.

Allow me to quote myself from two years back. Because this bears repeating.

Stevie, please have some standards about you. You’re on everybody’s stage, looking like a part of the house band. You’d probably accept the gig to be the Awards Show Sandman Sam, playing the piano when people’s speeches get too long. You’d perform at the Greek stepshow if they asked you to. A mess!

Last year’s Grammy Awards, they had you performing as backup to the Jonas Brothers (aka Hanson 2.0). THE GAHTDAMB JONAS BROTHERS!!! What in the holy legendary hell??? I was horrified. How dare they have you playing next to those Tweenyboppers? You got toe nails older than them! That’s like Patti LaBelle singing behind Rihanna. Or Toni Morrison accepting writing tips from Sister Souljah and Zane. Music WEPT! iCant. iWont. iShant. iReject it.

Then this year’s BET Honors, you were all up through there, singing with Trey Songz. At one point, Trey even had you scatting to “I invented Sex.” *WALL SLIDE* Stevie… I say STEVIE!!! You will NOT be following Trey Songz’s lead. YOU ARE A LEGEND! You’re not supposed to be doing alla this with these young’uns.

They gotta start saying “NAWL!” sometimes. I feel like someone needs to call Stevie PERSONALLY and say “yo dawg. Your team gotchu out there bogus.” Can Quincy Jones do it? Someone’s gonna step up and let Stevie know that he’s outchea spreading himself thin.

But yeah. Have y’all noticed this too? Stevie STAYS tributing and scatting where his legend is too big for.

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Category: Famous folks, Music

Comments (15)

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  1. Stephanie A says:

    Hey Luvvie, I’m a new reader (and also first in this ho!), and I agree with you 200%. Steveland Hardaway Judkins is too legendary for the concentrated fuckshit he gets involved in. I think his PR people just need to be wholly replaced, I can’t deal with their bullshit– what’s next? A duet with Boosie and Justin Beiber at a tribute to Elvis? NAWL NAWL NAWL!

    Many bloggers feel your pain, and I know one that wrote a whole COUTHLESS letter to him. If you’re interested in reading it, here it is: http://bozackjenkins.blogspot.ca/2009/02/signed-sealed-delivered.html?m=1

  2. Shevonne says:

    Everytahm I see Stevie’s hairline I cry out “WHYYYYY?” like Nettie on The Color Purple. When your edges are damn near at the nape of your neck, it’s time to let it go.

    So, yeah I feel you on this, Luvvie. His people don’t respect him. They’d probably have him sing at his own funeral if it was possible. This man is a legend and should not be treated like somebody’s red headed step child.

  3. ab says:

    only 2 reasons for this

    1) he needs the money
    2) Because he can. He’s got nothing left to prove, he’s just gonna play as much as he can till he passes away.

    Sad thing is, Stevie might play at so many of his peers funerals there’d be no one left to play at his.

    Crazy when the youngster (coolio) who sampled your stuff is a granpapi like you and just as bald.

  4. KayMac says:

    Aye look…I’ma continue to pray for Stevie’s hairline and his #alphets…
    Anyway, I was so throw’d back(yup) to see Stevie playing at Eddie Murphy’s lil roast, or whatever…I mean Eddie is cool and all but NAWL…I can’t have Stevie playing at the end and whatnot looking like someone’s sister in-law, baby cousin singing at church bcuz they special, and you gotta let them sing because it will make them feel better…But, yea, I agree with you on this one, Luvvie..

  5. Boogaloo Dude says:

    I saw Stevie Wonder playing with Donny Osmond on Dr. Phil.

  6. Aisha says:

    I agree with you Luvvie. Stevie should be on an island, bald and beautiful, collecting checks and ghost writing and laying tracks for these sorry arse entertainers today. People should be saluting him, I’m done with watching these awards shows and tributes, when most can’t sing a whip.

  7. J. Lionel says:

    I always said Stevie’s stylist(s) need to retire his trademark hairstyle – he looks like a Mongolian now…

  8. Maven says:

    Girl. Every. Single. Thing. U. Said. I CAN’T! He needs to clean house. We should feel excited to see him, not blasé. Who else could give us Songs in the Key of Life, Innervisions, on and on. When the credits rolled on him, I GAGGED, then thought of u. He is too legendary for this fooletry. Dag!

  9. foxxtalltrees says:

    I know I’m late for this party but I had to comment. Tickets for a Stevie Wonder show at (wait for it) The University of Hawaii O_o!!!! The only people who would see it are those who go to UH!!! Gurl!!!! It was a big ol’ scandal!!! Charges filed and people fired and everything. His PR ppl must have realized that it costs more to fly to HI than what they were getting paid!!!

  10. ella says:

    I think you are giving Stevie way too little credit. Now on the bald thing someone could have or maybe should have told him to go completely without hair, but like a few too many men out there they just don’t. Stevie may just like the way his hair is going AND those outfits he is wearing. He’s not sensory deprived.

    Next, he also has the chance to say NO. He knows what over exposed is and he also knows what isn’t on “his level.” I do PR for people and his PR people just bring him the gigs…he approves and signs the contracts. So I don’t think it has anything to do with that. Maybe he knows his value and really just enjoys performing. He doesn’t have to prove he’s still Stevie because we all know he is. Why not just let him do what he loves how he wants to do it?

    And I would LOVE to see him at Shug’s! He would totally rock that place! “God’s gonna tell you something…right NOW!”

  11. ToodySezHey says:

    Girl….why why WHY was Stevie just this passed monday( april 8th) at he damb Country Music Awards in vegas!?!?!

    At first I thought my ears deceived me when I heard the first strains of Sir Duke being played like “wtf…why are they playing Stevie at the CMAs??”

    Then I heard the man himself sing and all I could think was “Lawd Geebus, somebody PLEEEEZE introduce Stevie’s handlers to Luvvie’s strongly worded letter!!”””

    Girl, is stevie broke? Did he invest all his money with Bernie Madoff? Why, Stevie, why?!?!?!?

  12. Teri Wilson says:

    Perhaps he likes performing. He’s not a trained monkey, he’s blind. I’m sure he can speak up and say no if he doesn’t want to do it.

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