Stallion Booty, Crazy Kenya: RHOA Episode 13 Recap

[ 27 ] January 28, 2013 |

I didn’t get a chance to watch last week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta episode until yesterday since I was in DC running the streets for Inauguration weekend. For those who realized my site was recap-deficient last week, that’s what happened. But I caught up to the haps, and it seems that Kenya is feeling butthurt about her business deal with Phaedraw falling through. Naturally (O_O), her reaction is to steal Phaedra’s idea and name it something incredibly similar. The mark of unoriginal punk asses everywhere who aren’t about that life. UGH. But let’s get into last night’s episode.

RHOA Six

Stallion and Donkey In Effect – Phaedra is getting ready for a photoshoot for the Donkey Booty video, while Kenya is working out with her trainer to get ready for the Stallion Booty video. Too bad Kenya’s yansh looks like two volleyballs in her workout pants. And this is not a compliment. The rumor is that Miss Moore’s booty ain’t homegrown, but injected. So her tryna teach folks how to have huge asses is like Star Jones teaching folks who to lose weight naturally. But I’m sleep. (-___-)

Bailey Pageants - Cynthia is looking to expand the Bailey Agency to start doing pageants so she gets an expert to come talk to her. I gave her much credit for her dope seersucker pencil skirt but had to take it away when I noticed her rocking cobalt eyeshadow over her entire eyelids. At 2pm. Where is that ok???

Lunch Meeting For Dummies – Kenya has summoned Porsha to come to lunch with her, and like the fool she is, Porsha goes. She shows up and Kenya starts telling her that she wants to make sure she gets her side of the booty video workout drama. Why do these women care so much about what folks they don’t like think? Chile, BOOO! Before long, the ladies are yelling at each other, picking up their purses and leaving. As she walks away, Porsha looks at Kenya’s feet and says “BYE ASHY!” They’re 5 years old.

Bye Ashy gif

Put a Couch On It – Nene and Gregg go furniture shopping for their new LA home. Lenethia reminisces about how much of a difference a year makes, since this time last year, they had just gotten a divorce. Now, they’re picking out furniture together and rekindling their romance. Nene says she’s considering marrying him, and if they do and he acts up, she’ll just divorce him again. Welp.

Pageant Planning – Cynthia and Porsha meet with a pageant planner at a proposed venue to talk about what’s needed to put on this pageant. She’s super clueless about how to put one on and enlists Porsha to be her assistant. LAWD! She doesn’t learn because every time she mixes business with pleasure, it doesn’t go well.

Exotic Night of Shade – The ladies decide to switch it up and go to a Mediterranean restaurant. For the occasion, Porsha and Cynthia rock non-matching jeweled headbands. Lawdt. The convo turns to Kenya, who is MIA, and Phaedra throws all the shade in her little big bootied body. She says she believes Kenya has a drinking problem and might be bipolar. “The day Kenya Moore shows me up is the day this donkey booty becomes as flat as a pancake.” HA! The subject changes to pageants and apparently Porsha might be singing at the Bailey Pageant. That fool said her singing voice is a combo of Mary J. Blige, Beyonce and Rihanna. Talmbout it’s a “congloboration” of them. Girl, next time, stick to penny words, not $10 ones. Also, NAWL. Get your LIFE!

White Woman of Color – Nene meets with her acting coach, Lee, to talk about her role on “The New Normal.” She wants to make sure she plays it well and says she didn’t see a “Black” character on paper. Lee tells her she can channel it and asks “Where’s the white woman in you?” Well, clearly, she’s in that platinum blonde hairhat on Nene’s head.

Golf and Instigating – With a sweater hanging from her shoulders like her name is Carlton Banks, Cynthia meets with Kenya for a game of golf. She fills her in on everything Phaedra said at dinner, and adding some “Girlll and then she went…” of her own. Ma’am, why are you instigating??? Kenya says she won’t accept the disrespect and “I don’t take it lying down. Even from my man.” What man, Manti Te’o? WHAT MAN DO YOU HAVE??? WOMP.

Girl BYE gif

Lunch with Lawrence – Kenya and RHOA’s purse, Miss Lawrence, hang out and she immediately launches into the salty story of how she feels wronged by Phaedra. I was too busy being distracted by Lawrence’s too-red lipstick. What was his reason for being on my screen looking like blackface? Unacceptable.

Shoe Launch, Crazy Fool – Nene partners with ShoeDazzle to launch a new shoe named “Lenethia” and she invites all the ladies to come. Proceeds of the event and the shoe are going to a domestic violence charity. Kenya is the last to arrive, and she comes with Miss Lawrence, with the mission of making fun of Phaedra for making fun of her. The moment she walks in, everyone’s jaw drops. Kenya is rocking her version of Phae’s Anguilla fishnet bathing suit outfit, with buttpads. It was SOOOO tacky and classless.

kenya RHOA fishnet

O____o

If you want to make fun of Phaedra, find the correct venue for it because that wasn’t it! She then starts yelling about how Phaedra ain’t got the body to do a video and just being a squawking bird. Ms. Parks responds to her with side-eyes and sentences in hush tones, making Kenya look like the ENTIRE fool she is. The woman got about 15 screws loose. Can’t nobody tell me otherwise.

Next week, Walter is back and Porsha gets checked by Kordell. Chile… stay tuned.

Anywho, how is it that Kenya gets crazier by the week? Is this really her plan to success?

Edit: Ok so I’m goofy. I was wondering why I hadn’t got any comments on my latest post, which is the RHOA recap, and it turns out that I accidentally turned off the comments. I just noticed. WOMPS! Comments back up!

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Comments (27)

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  1. Shevonne says:

    Kenya has some nerve pushing a booty workout video when hers is fake. Her behind is clearly unreal because her thighs to booty ration is not adding up. And did you catch when she was trying to say that Phaedra looked like a tranney? o_O

    I like how she tried to make Pheadra look stupid but ended up making everybody at the event uneasy. Girl, you showed up at an event half naked to prove you’re NOT crazy?! Oh….okay then *Phaedra side eye*

  2. Aziza says:

    “What man, Manti Te’o? WHAT MAN DO YOU HAVE??? WOMP.”

  3. Sharma says:

    Whatever accusations made against her by Phaedra, were only validated by her behavior. In whose world is it okay to parade around with peach targets on your a$$ in public, let alone at a charity fundriser? In. Whose. World. Since it was NeNe’s launch, I was fully expecting her to READ Kenya and send her on her way with a twirl, but I guess Ms. Leakes has a new rep (and contracts) to uphold. Maybe Kenya’s sense has Gone with the Wind along with her fabulosity…

  4. SecretDivva says:

    LUVVIE. I CANNOT with that damn Jem and the Holograms gif. It depicts EVERYTHING I want to do to Kenya Moore… and then some. Thank you. I’ll need my casket is a fragrant mahogany with silk lining.. ::dies::

  5. The Kid says:

    Kenya gets crazier with each passing week. Its kind of fun watching her descent into madness.

  6. KMN says:

    Luvvie thank you for this recap. I missed the epi last night but I do need to comment on Krazy…I mean Kenya and that damn outfit. How is she gonna come out dressed up like Phaedra like that after she tried to eff her husband on said trip with said outfit?

    She should be happy that was all Phaedra said about her nutty tail. Because Kenya shoulda been read from Anguilla back to Atlanta for her antcis (and I believe that Phaedra should’ve gotten into her husbands tail about that as well…but Kenya just kept going. Notice how he ain’t been acting up since…and Kenya still trying to corner him alone). Kenya is going to twirl her ass right into oblivion with these antics because she’s going to have a mental break and it’s NOT going to be pretty. She foul as hell but I feel sorry for her at the same time.

    KMN

  7. BE says:

    Kenya played herself with that damn outfit, if you can call it that. She ended up looking stupid and the embarrassing herself. You are at a charity function, MORON!!!

    despite her dumbness, Kenya is right, Phaedra’s body is kinda built funny. I hate when she tries to show off her sqoozed up itty bitty boobs. And her butt is not one I would want.

  8. KSpice says:

    Where is the white jacket cuz clearly Ms Kenya needs one,that heffah has clearly lost her damn mind…N Lawrence with his popped looking ass, Wants to gas Kenya up and throw shade Pha way he’s a non factor.Ms Cynthia makes me want to slap the phony right out of her,she is super messy!!I must say I laughed so hard at Kenya and her antics I agree with Phaedra something in the buttermilk ain’t clean!!!lol

  9. Nia says:

    I LIVE! I LIVE! LIKE THE RESURRECTED CHRIST, I LIVE BECAUSE OF THIS POST! HAAA HA HA HA HA HA!

    I watched that episode last night and had all of the giggles, plus three more Gagnam Style!

  10. NtrlGAGirl says:

    Alla dis and while Kenya is somewhere playin’ crazy, Phay is gettin it in>>>>phinebody.com

  11. ML says:

    Miss Lawrence as sidekick to Kenya’s antics was just plain wrong. That Little Black Sambo shade of red lipstick, her minstrel show performance at a charity event… Wowza wowza wowza, Lawrence and Kenya aka ManTan & Sleep-N-Eat

  12. Toun says:

    Lawrence should start her own line of handbags she knows exactly which one to be for all of these moments. I thought the tv was going to shatter when she made the statement “I lay down for no one not even my man” last I checked your man politely reached around you for the soap on vacation sooooooo

  13. * I loved Porsha and Kenya’s fight was all about not paying the check for lunch. Y’all saw how they walked out.

    * Cynthia and Kenya golfing = Suzie and some other chick on Basketball Wives playing tennis = Walter fishing in white sneakers. Mmmm-hmmm

    * Kenya left the house looking like that to clown PHAEDRA? Ma’am, you made an azz of yourself. And I’m not hating on the cellulite over Kenya’s abs but at least Phaedra has a child. I’m sayin doe

  14. Franynotes says:

    For the sake of needing a resident loose-cannon, I appreciate Kenya for fighting fire with fire though, classless so is Phaedra. Yes, the nature of the gathering was inappropriate on Kenya’s behalf. No shade, yet Phaedra is extremely judgemental a hypocrite and behaves as if she is above it all. Phaedra is so stuck up her own stuff that no one can put her in her place unless she believes she can make money with you. Now Kenya and Porscha that is were Kenya’s controlling and unbalanced character primarily shone through. There was absolutely no need to inform a person you don’t like of someone to stay away from. Last time I checked if a snake is around my enemy I step away from both parties but hey Kenya is positioning herself for another season to her “multi-million productions”.

  15. Ebs says:

    Listen… I dont e’en have cable. This recap is enough to know I aint missing much. I’ll continue Netflix’ing these movies. Thanks Luvvie for making me the light when I was finna break down and call the cable company.

  16. Milaxx says:

    I’m trying to figure out how those butt pads are staying on. Did she crazy glue them in place?

  17. marge says:

    Cynthia is FOREVER the instigator. And then, when the situation arises (like Phaedra saying to Kenya, “Who told you that?”), Cynthia just sits there and not stepping up. She’s a coward who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut.
    I can’t even deal with Kenya. Whether it’s put-upon drama or not, she’s looking like a damn fool.

  18. Kimmoy says:

    Did anyone else’s heart skipped a beat when the car narrowly missed Porsha?! I was like girl look left then right and left again as you cross the street and throw the ashy shade behind you lol

  19. Khadijah says:

    Cobalt eye shadow is the shyt! As long as you wear it right! Don’t knock it! LOL

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