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10 Things That Happened After Nigeria Won the African Cup

Nigeria just defeated Burkina Faso to win the African Soccer something big and awesome championship match tournament. Or the African Cup of Nations. But I like my description better. Anywho, Nigerians everywhere are currently losing their minds in glee.

Keep Calm Nigerian

1. Your Facebook newsfeeds exploded with celebrating Nigerians.

The moment the game ended, all the Nigerians on Facebook updated their statuses. Seriously. It all happened at once. I didn’t even watch the game and I knew as soon as it happened.

2. Someone’s mama snatched off her wrappa and rolled around on the ground talmbout WE TANK GOD O!

You know it and I know it too. Nigerians are a dramatic people and celebrations (and mourning) isn’t complete until someone’s mama strips to her underskirt in jubilance or sadness.

3. NEPA took light.

I’m pretty sure as soon as the game was over, someone found themselves in complete darkness in Nigeria as their light was turned off. Because NEPA is a haterbish and not about that life. This is a shameful fact. Ko ni da fun NEPA!

4. Someone somewhere hit their Brother Franklin.

Well, more like multiple people. I’m sure there are thousands, if not millions who are currently jigging for Jesus right this moment.

WERK, BROTHER FRANKLIN!

5. People are looking for green-white-green alphets to rock with pride.

If you’re like me, what matters here is that I have an excuse to rock green and white tomorrow. I can break out them green jeans I own and pair them with my white blazer and some white chucks. But I also have a green longsleeve. I could rock with some white jeans and my green and white chucks. So I too can look like a walking Nigerian flag.

6. People are customizing Bible verses and praising the Lord. Like:

“Our Super Eagles who art in South Africa. Victory be thy name, thy trophy come. The cup be brought to us, as it is in 1994. Give us this cup oh Keshi and forgive those who killed Victor Moses’ parents, as we forgave our leaders who have milked us dry, and lead us not not into extra time, but deliver us in 90 minutes. For thine is the trophy, the title and Jonathan’s largese after u win today. Did I hear you say Amen?” – Segun Gele

Because Nigerians love Jesus. And we’re clever.

And you know someone is doing a super loud PRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIISSSSSSEEEEEEE THEEEE LOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD!!!! HAAALLLEEEELLLUUUYAAAAHHH!!!

Chile, I love us.

7. Nigerians declared tomorrow as a national holiday.

I really hope people aren’t expecting Nigerians to be at work tomorrow. And if we do show up, expect us around lunch time. Our soccer team won the championship??? SHIDDD! That’s major. Tonight, we must celebrate and tomorrow too. NATIONAL HOLIDAY FOR EVERYONE!

8. Folks are popping bottles of Guinness, Heineken and Bailey’s Irish Cream.

Immediately after the win, folks reached for their bottles of Guinness (stout) and Heineken to take a swig! And dhat better way to celebrate victory than to open that bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Abeg, pour me a cup joh! Toasting to the Super Eagles and the fact that it’s Sunday.

9. Bandwagon fans like me celebrate.

Yes. EVERYONE is taking this time to hoot and holler, including bandwagon fans like me. I barely even knew the game was coming on and I had to look up the name of the competition. I don’t watch soccer so… fight me. Either way. Sharrap and lemme celebrate in peace.

NaijaGalLuvvie

10. People are updating their websites.

Like I just did.

Congrats to the Nigerian Super Eagles! And to my fellow Nigerians. Y’all know we never need an excuse to party but whenever we get one, we take FULL advantage. What else did I miss?

P.S. UP NAIJA!!!

8 Comments

  1. YourFavoriteNigerian
    February 10, 2013 at 3:40 pm — Reply

    Omo Naija stand up!!

  2. February 10, 2013 at 3:45 pm — Reply

    Haha Luvvie, how apt of you! Soo happy right now! Naija4Life!

  3. Sola
    February 10, 2013 at 4:02 pm — Reply

    *singing* “Winner oooo winner! Winner oooo winner! Super Eagles don win o, winner! Pata pata u go win forever, winner!!!!”

    Best believe I was one of those shouting a SUPER serious “PRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIISSSSSSEEEEEEE THEEEE LOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!”

    Up Naija! Naija Forever! Omo Naija ni mi!

    Ok, I’m done. For now.

  4. February 10, 2013 at 6:08 pm — Reply

    LOL. I did update my Facebook. I was watching it live online, so I knew exactly when we won. I didn’t know the Super eagles still sing “Ole Ole Ole Ole Ole……..”

  5. jake
    February 10, 2013 at 7:38 pm — Reply

    :-) as someone who doesn’t even watch football despite being AfriCAN and living here all my life, I feel sorry for you!
    Here in Uganda (the Liverpool of afcon) football is life! People have their calls, their mail and THEIR DINNER forwarded to the nearest tv during major tournaments.
    Ps. I can’t believe you went there with the “we tank God ooo”! You go start wahala in the comments now.
    Congratulations and God bless all participants for the temporary relief and diversion.

  6. Pepp
    February 11, 2013 at 5:13 pm — Reply

    Go on Nigeria! I have no idea what part of West Africa my folks came from, but it’s most likely Nigeria so Woop! woop!

  7. Funke
    February 12, 2013 at 10:07 am — Reply

    Someone’s mama snatched off her wrappa and rolled around on the ground talmbout WE TANK GOD O!

    I’m dead. DEAD.

  8. Teefah (www.that1960chick.com)
    March 1, 2013 at 11:02 am — Reply

    Hahaha this whole post has me rolling
    you are so on point with everything
    funny enough we didn’t even have nepa for the match crazy twats couldn’t even give us for the match

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