Old White Folks Rapping For Jesus

[ 40 ] February 12, 2013 |

You know? The internet is truly the Den of Iniquity. When I was sent the link of the video below, the moment I pressed play, I realized I shoulda just walked away. Because. For reasons. Just watch.

*faints* Iunno if this is real or not but West Dubuque 2nd Church of Christ is fool of ratchet ass geriatrics.

Gramps got up there spitting his bars talmbout “All the other MCs I wish them well but if you’re living in sin you’ll burn in hell.” SIR. You just gon go straight to wishing folks go to the pits of Beezlebub’s VIP section with no chill? Lawd, old people.

AND THEN… Mary Sue just popped up outta nowhere like one of those wack it games at Chuck E. Cheese’s to tell us how Jesus Christ is her “nigga.” And then proceeded to tell people to kiss her ass if they don’t believe in the niggadom of Christ. I am unable to handle any of these people.

COME GET GRANNY! “I don’t blaspheme, I don’t brag, I don’t cuss, and my pants don’t sag.” What does sagging pants have to do with the price of tea in China, Mary??? TELL ME!

“Jesus Christ is my nigga.
Nigga’s light shine through ya? (Or did they say “Let his light shine through ya”)
Let his love pop a cap in your butt and say “HALLELUYAH!”
He’s an honest peace-loving nigga like me.”

Chile, I am unable. I know we’ve been asking y’all to recognize that Jesus wasn’t blond hair blue-eyed but y’all don relegated my God to a nigga, doe? I mean… LAWDDD!!!

After watching this, I asked Jesus to take the wheel and He said “Nawl, my child. I’m on foot this week. My license got suspended.” CHILE! Holy Pedestrian Jesus in them Air Christ sandals, save us all.

Also, remember when the NAACP tried to bury the word “Nigga” and no one listened? Well, this video coulda helped their cause.

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Comments (40)

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  1. Tishy says:

    I’ll NEVER forgive you for this, Luvvie! I hayte you, Jody!!!

  2. la mala says:

    luvvie! why must you murk me at work! good thing i come in 2 hours before everyone else. smh

  3. MyzDevyneOne says:

    iQuit you for this Luvvie. No, seriously. My world was a quiet blissful place, and I was ignorant to the niggadom of my LAWD & SAVYUH! Why did you put this here!?!? WHY I SAY!?!?
    You owe my mama an apology for killing her onlyest chile.

  4. Big Tone says:

    I bet before the video shoot they poured out a lil communion wine on the curb for their dead geriatric homies .

  5. KeshaB623 says:

    I. Am. Speechless…
    I sat there watching this train wreck with my hand over my mouth.
    Can you ask yourself, “WTH???” while watching a Christian rap about how Jesus is my nigga?
    What kind of fool ratchetness is this?
    I’mma need to go sat down somewhere.

    And the sad sad sad thang about allofdis is they were oh so serious!
    AND who was the old man in the back with the smoke machine and the glitter??? LOL!!!

  6. Ash says:

    After watching this, I asked Jesus to take the wheel and He said “Nawl, my child. I’m on foot this week. My license got suspended.”

    The video had me tickled but this made me howl. You know you are going to hell, right?

  7. Bethany says:

    I can’t breathe…

  8. ebony read says:

    I am at a lost for words. I really need Father MC and Sistah Ke-lo-lo to go have serveral seats. But my real question is how many youth did that recruit with this “rap song”?

  9. Pepp says:

    Luvvie how dare you!? I can’t be starting my day at work with this retirement home ratchetness!

  10. Jabari says:

    Luvvie, just so you know I am legit goin’ to hell for watching this blaspheme. #iQuit you for this ratchet foolishness #nawI’mlyin’

  11. RoxyWTF says:

    Not Notorious B.I.G. but BIG!

    Then the old man in the back doing the Charleston and such? Nawl.

    *throws rocks*

    • Randomly Jazzy says:

      “Then the old man in the back doing the Charleston and such? Nawl.”
      HIM…For the life of me I was trying to pay attention to the geriatric Sonny and Cher, and I see this fool with headphones and a fire extinguisher getting shot in the ass.

  12. janelfelice says:

    Ima get fired messing with you!

  13. janelfelice says:

    Let His love pop a cop in your butt and say Hallelujah!!!! I’m done. I quit you and all that you represent!!!

  14. milaxx says:


    iCAN NOT.

  15. RollercoasterRJ says:

    I went to the site.

    The church closed in 2004.

    Jesus is real, children, and he shall not bless your fuckery!

  16. Cris says:

    Well he said he rapped better than big………….I don’t know big what but’er’uh………

  17. KayMac says:

    Maaaane, Luvvie…..I’ont have nan word for this tomfoolery…NOT NONE!!!! Let me run the the Alter real quick and pray for this mess. I’m pretty sure Jesus is up in Heaven, throwing stuff all over the place bcuz he’s mad..lol

    Oh yea.. Notorious BIG=/= Notorious B.I.G.

  18. shadgg02 says:

    you gon’ get me fires today!!!!!!! this KILT my heart, animal spirit and soul: “I asked Jesus to take the wheel and He said “Nawl, my child. I’m on foot this week. My license got suspended.” CHILE! Holy Pedestrian Jesus in them Air Christ sandals, save us all.”

  19. peechi_keen says:

    luvvie, luvvie, luvvie……i … i just… so damn unable to even attempt to can right now. bout’ to cause people @ work to get fired because of this mess right chea’.

    lmfao ***dead***.

  20. RozB says:

    1. He introduces his wife as a fly MC. But then she tooted her butt to the camera, and I lost it…

    2. WEEERRRDDD UPP! Hit me!

    3. The old man in the background doubling as the DJ and smoke machine operator was just so…random, but funny as hell!!!

    4. The fact they used the word nigga as easily as they use the word Jesus, even calling Jesus “That nigga…”, after this, I had to shut it down. I was crying!!!

    Luvvie, you stay trying to kill folks. You will be responsible for seeing to it that there are professional mourners at my funegro who will lip sync this while praise dancers perform an interpretation.

  21. That Dude says:

    iRefuse to believe this was not done as a joke. Somebody is punking us, cuz…NAWL.

  22. MsZ says:

    So……at the end of the video, the fog machine man looked like the robot guy from Chappelle’s Show: http://youtu.be/7oXgjQnPfec Where do people find these things?! LOL!!!

  23. ChunkyDlyte says:

    So, I’m about to die, u killed me!! I imagine that this is the kind of “outreach” that Mitt Romney REALLY wanted to do because he actually thinks that this stuff works! Yes, all black people love when old white people rap and combine that with our love for Jesus…..and maybe work in a reference to fried chicken lol Who at that church thought this was a good idea? They didnt have not a one black face that would’ve been like HELL NO!!

  24. *deletes AweLuv from favorites* *sets laptop on fire*

  25. dk says:

    so y’all mean to tell me jesus ain’t y’all’s nigga, right? ok then…he’s mine..y’all play if u want to..i am a FRIEND of God, yessir. but yes, this was foolishness.

  26. Adai Layte says:

    See ya’ll see foolishness dis nigga right here sees OPP-ER-TUNE-IT-TEE! They say when life bring you lemons make lemonade, well when life brings you crackers….ITS TIME TO GET THAT CHEDDAHHH. I’mma take this message maybe get me some dancers from the congregation (ya noe some hotties is up in that piece) and we gonna go on tour baby!!!

    THE W.D.C.O.C!!!!


  27. Dee says:

    Shoo…forget the pastor and his wife. Homie in the background with the acid washed high waisted jeans, smoke machine and stellar dance moves gave my life meaning today. Yes Lawd!

  28. Usually in Poor Taste says:

    Where’s the cameo from Weezy? The asthmatic with the oxygen tank, not Lil Wayne.

  29. natasha says:

    I died at Jesus saying nawl…and Air Christ! Dammit all to hell!

  30. dmaclee says:

    All of my can is gone and now I’m dealing with shan’ts. This is too much…

  31. Sweet, creamy Jesus. I blame the blacks and their hippity hop.

  32. Rachael says:

    They were talking about this last night on the radio station, I didn’t click it then, and I won’t watch it now. I already know its foolishness, I don’t need to give them more hits on their foolishness.

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