Greyhound’s Roach Ride From Hell
I was loitering on these interwebs when I came across a story of a Greyhound bus that had to be evacuated because a swarm of cockroaches came through as the bus was headed to New York. And I almost PASSED OUT at the thought.
According to the story on Yahoo!, the bus was going from Atlantic City into NYC when roaches started showing up on the seats and floors! So many that the bus driver had to pull over and evacuate everyone.
The devil is a LAH! I. AM. UNABLE. TO. DEAL. I wasn’t there and I feel like crying. A roach invasion??? In an enclosed space? Is this a horror moving starring Jeff Goldblum? What part of the game is this?Listen, you would have to plan my funegro because I woulda hyperventilated and had a heart attack on the spot. I’d leave my folder of 1,000 GIFs to Michael Arceneaux, my shoes to my cousin Wonu and my gadgets to Scott Hanselman. I’d request that everyone wore fierce shoes to my homegoing because I MIGHT DON’T MAKE IT!
I have a HUGE fear of roaches. Remember the time I wrote a letter to the ONE roach that punked me in my house and made me build a Couch Fort because I didn’t want to face it? You don’t? Read the roach letter.
Greyhound’s spokesperson replied to the incident talmbout “We at Greyhound apologize for this inconvenience and have spoken with each passenger regarding this incident.”
Inconvenience?? Incident?? NAWL! That is a life-changing traumatic ordeal of the highest proportions! I’d have to sue Greyhound to cover my therapy costs because that is some trauma if I ever heard of it. Multiple roaches crawling all over a bus. I’d lose ALL my mind. The lot of it. And the man’s talmbout “we apologize.” You gon do more than apologize if I was on that bus. You’d need to pay me for all my pain and suffering.
I wonder if the people on that bus freaked out. Also, I would just have to burn all my clothes and shoes. And then I’da showered in RAID spray. And then laid outside my house for 3 days and 3 nights, surely repenting for what I did that cause the plague of roaches. Ooooohhh lawd. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.
Greyhound is cheap but I’ll be dambed if they’re not good for terrible experiences. Good GAWD. How did a swarm of roaches get on that bus? Did they just make a community out of it? EW!
Moral of this story: Greyhound is the devil. Roaches are God’s way of telling us we’re sinners.
So umm… what would you have done had you been on that bus?