TV

Kenya Can’t Avoid Walter, Porsha Wants Babies, Kandi’s Housewarming: RHOA Episode 18 Recap

I’ve missed the last 4 or 5 episodes of Real Housewives of Atlanta because I’ve been gallivanting all over the place and haven’t been home on most Sundays. But I’m back, and playing catch up! I caught last night’s episode so find out all the tea! I missed the drama and the foolery.

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Porsha’s Pregnancy Test Confusion – Porsha is unpacking her stuff when Kordell finds a pregnancy test. She says it was in a gift bag she got from her Vegas trip, and she’s afraid to take it. He basically tells her to do it and she does. While trying to figure out the instructions, which tell her it takes 2 minutes to find the result, she thinks it means she has to pee for 2 minutes. Bless her. The test is negative and she seems disappointed while Kordell basically shrugs his shoulders. It’s obvious that he’ont curr bout no babies.

Kandi’s Office Space Upgrade – Kandi is finally getting an office, after years of running a million businesses on a “bootleg budget.” She found a space that she’s remodeling and her assistant is helping her with it. Miss Burruss is not used to spending all this money at the same time because her house is also being furnished. I love Kandi’s thriftiness. That’s why she’s the wealthiest of them all.

Nene’s Press Junket – Nene is on a press tour for her show “The New Normal” and she’s hitting up the Today Show and Kelly and Michael. She slays the interviews and I must say I’m so proud of Lenethia. She’s doing so well, in spite of the fact that she insists on rocking a platinum helmet on her head. GO NENE!

NeneTodayShow

Cynthia’s Closet Choice – Cynthia’s trying to pick an #alphet for the event that Peter is hosting for Men’s Health Magazine. As he helps her out of a dress, he looks at her like he wants to sop her up with a biscuit. I like them. All frisky. OWWW! He also tells her that he invited Walter to the event. Cyn knows this might mean trouble but Uncle Ben gon do as he pleases so she gon need to deal.

Porsha and Kordell’s Conundrum – Porsha and Kordell’s relationship is more daughter-father and wife-husband. She sits down and tells him how the girls weren’t ok with her not going to the strip club with them in Vegas. They didn’t take kindly to her telling them “I’m just glad Kordell let me come to Vegas.” LET? Are you 5 years old? You must be. Kordell tells her “I’m in control but I’m not controlling.” Theo, that’s the dumbest thing. The topic of children comes up and Porsha clearly wants to start having kids. Her caveman hubby tells her that she has to choose between her career and motherhood, because she cannot hire a nanny. First of all, what is Porsha’s career? And b, why is he so archaic? The poor girl ends up in tears.

PorshaTears

Salty Kenya, Foolish Walter – It’s the night of the Men’s Health event and everyone shows up, including Walter. Him and the husbands have bonded so they’re pleased to see him. Kenya rolls in with Jamaal Anderson, former NFL player, looking like a woman with something to prove. She sees Walter and spends the entire evening saying how much she doesn’t care he’s there. But she keeps clocking to see where he is. She then tells the ladies that she’s having a costume party honoring Black women in film. She tells Cynthia she wants her to be Diana Ross, and Kandi to be Tina Turner from “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” THEN she tells Porsha she wants her to be Halle Berry from BAPS. ALL OF THE SHADE!

Meanwhile, Walter tells the other fellas that Kenya is just too old for him, at 42. “I like my women like I like my rims. 22s, 24s, 26s.” Walter (aka Frank from Moesha) needs to have a damb seat!

Shopping and Shade – Kenya and Cynthia go shopping for outfits for the costume party and Walter comes up, of course. Cyn says he was talking smack about her, saying he wasn’t attracted to her at all in Anguilla. Kenya says she hasn’t ever seen the man have an erection. Ma’am, did you not say y’all dated for two years? Surely you lie or you’re dumb for sticking around as this man friend zoned you from the start. And then she implies that she thinks he’s gay. BUT YOU DATED HIM FOR TWO YEARS SO IF HE IS, YOU LOOK THE FOOL! Chile… womp.

Kandi’s Grand Housewarming – Kandi’s new house is finally ready so she has a housewarming to celebrate. She gives Peter and Cynthia a tour and the place is amazing! It’s so doggone huge, and everyone is surprised because they weren’t expecting that from Kandi, who downplays her wealth. Because REAL wealth isn’t loud and doesn’t have to say “I’m rich, bitch.” They walk into Riley, Kandi’s daughter’s room and it’s ginormous. It’s bigger than my apartment and it made me feel inadequate. I mean DAMB! Must be nice.

KandisHouse

Walter shows up to the party, at most folks’ surprise, and brings a date. He introduces her as Chemecia (or something) and promptly abandons her to go talk to the fellas. Everyone knows that when Kenya shows up, she’s gon be all butthurt so they get ready for the show that is surely about to go down. When she does show up, she doesn’t notice he’s there. But Kandi, being the gracious host she is, pulls her to the side to explain that she wasn’t the person who invited him. At the realization that he’s in the building, she storms out. This is the same person who said she’s over it. Girl… WOMP.

Next week, Cynthia and Kenya are about to have a falling out, it seems. Kenya STAYS falling out with folks.

16 Comments

  1. Ti
    March 18, 2013 at 8:06 am — Reply

    Thank you. I’d so much rather read a review than see the ridiculousness.

    • HerMrs
      April 16, 2013 at 10:22 pm — Reply

      Indeed!!!

  2. JustJosie
    March 18, 2013 at 9:05 am — Reply

    Hey Luvvie. Thanks for the recap. I am confused by the Kenya-Walter relationship. If she never saw his “man-man”, then they haven’t done the do, right? Did I hear that right? WTH??

  3. Milaxx
    March 18, 2013 at 9:54 am — Reply

    Kenya’s messy behind is making herself look foolish trying so hard to imply that Walter is gay. How many ways does a man have to say they don’t want you?

  4. Serenity
    March 18, 2013 at 10:14 am — Reply

    Kenya = Drama. No way around it. She has no reason to be on the show. She’s not a wife or a mother. She’s just… messy.

    As much as I don’t like the way Kandi dresses (those white pants where shameful. Where are her friends!) she got it going on financially. In earlier episodes she said she paid cash for those homes. CASH. Remember Kim said she lived in the hood. She could fit Kim’s condo 5 times in her estate.

    Walter is collecting a RHOA check she he has to show up. And Cynthia is a shit-starter. SMH….

    • Rachael
      March 18, 2013 at 12:06 pm — Reply

      I agree about Kandi. I’ve said it before, and will say it again, she looked SOOOOO much better when she first came on the show. The show has made her look like trash. The way she dresses.

    • JustJosie
      March 18, 2013 at 8:38 pm — Reply

      I love that about Kandi. After seeing Kandi’s spot, did y’all catch Cynthia talking about she and Peter need to upgrade and get a bigger house? Remember just a minute ago they couldn’t afford the flowers for their wedding?? *smh* Stay in your financial lane. Learn from Chateau Sheree.

  5. @DarthJaeda
    March 18, 2013 at 11:50 am — Reply

    I get that Kenya is crazy, but Walter’s apple is from the same orchard of crazy.
    You don’t want this woman, you don’t like this woman, you done spent innumerable amounts of time ignoring this woman throwing herself at your feet, to the point where you ignored her whilst BUTT NEKKID IN THE SHOWER…so now you got to show up everywhere she is? She’s clearly not the one inviting you, so why are you so pressed to show out? And anybody who keeps inviting this dude to be where Kenya is should be cut off immediately, because that ain’t friendly; that’s not even respectful. I bet Peter would feel some type of way if everybody kept inviting Leon to chill at parties with them.

    Porscha- so young, so dumb. Ah well, if she ever wises up, he’ll just be a first marriage.

    Ima let Kandi and her questionable sartorial style cook this week because she was obviously focused on business, and I think that’s fantastic.

    • Rachael
      March 18, 2013 at 12:11 pm — Reply

      Walter keeps showing up because of Kordell Stewart. A connection like that is hard to make, and he isn’t risking that over that useless Kenya.

    • Milaxx
      March 18, 2013 at 12:35 pm — Reply

      The other guys seem to like Walter so they ain’t thinking about Kenya. Peter & Leon are cool because somehow Peter/Cynthia/Leon have figured out how to co-parent like grown ups.

      Besided truth be told, Walter is probably under the same contract the rest of the RHOA men signed, so if Bravo wants him there to give Kenya yet another reason to go HAM, then he’s gonna show up and get that check.

  6. mz.niecy
    March 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm — Reply

    Kenya is just as dumb as her hair is not hers. Now, you and this man AIN’T ENEVR SLEPT TOGETHER…but you “preparing” a meal for him and hoping that he will marry you? WTH did he go on the trip to Anguilla knowing that they never in the first place? That’s a romantic setting that I know good and gawt damb well I wouldn’t take this NINJA who acting like he got some better to do…oh he does, doesn’t he? Oh…driving tow trucks isn’t some better…well on to my _/ i shall proceed.and also did anybody else catch that before the first function she was all cool with seeing him long as she had a date, then at Kandi’s place she all OH Hells To the Nawl he didn’t…girl stop

  7. March 18, 2013 at 3:42 pm — Reply

    So – Walter now has a girlfriend called Chemical Cleanse. Where do they get these random women? But I thought he said he wasn’t gonna be on the show any more. I do not comprehend the madness, Luvvie. I just don’t.

  8. kiesh
    March 19, 2013 at 3:26 pm — Reply

    Porsha seems to be insecure and…dumb. She acts like a child w/ her husband but she also doesn’t stand her ground with women either.

  9. March 19, 2013 at 3:52 pm — Reply

    I just watched. I understand Porsche’s relationship but he was wrong to make her choose bt a “career” & a baby. Women have done both for ages. He will not have a happy home in the future if she gives in to his antiquated thought process.

  10. Arrogant Dreamer
    March 20, 2013 at 10:20 pm — Reply

    Now I’m going against the norm here but I think Kordell knows that Porsha can’t do two things at once. She couldn’t even do simple tasks for Cynthia’s events so I don’t know how she thinks she can have a career and a baby. Multi-tasking doesn’t seem to be her strong suit. Millions of women do it all, but Porsha doesn’t seem to be that type of woman.

  11. Luxurylatte
    March 20, 2013 at 10:47 pm — Reply

    One, Porsche has no career. If ya’ll remember the first episode she appeared on, she was happy because she got to do her charity projects and her husband took care of everything else and her girlfriends had to work etc. And nah, I I don’t blame him for not being in a rush to have a baby with a woman who goes to a doctor and asks foot a way to have twins at once so she can be done with it. She needs to grow some more before she flies into motherhood. And the more time goes on I believe Walters interview when he said him and Kenya relationship was fake. Kenya is Sheree and Rollo rolled into one. Ugh. Kandi is the ish period, and I love how she had the housewarming in the guest house. Shade. And did anyone see that hot mess of a show afterwards, Fashion Queens? I realized Lawrence is a professional friend for all the raggedy new girls and their chief enabler. He wanted to shade Phaedra at every turn and big up Kenya. Just.. No.

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