I Must Have Missed the Holy Book Signing
One of my longtime readers, Caroline, dropped a goodie on my Facebook wall and I shook my head so hard I sued myself for assault. Look:
It says “signed copy.” *looks around* Ummmm who signed this Bible? Word on the street is that Jesus ain’t back yet so unless I missed something, I’m really perplexed as to the signee. Like completely confused.
Did Jesus have an event at Barnes & Noble that no one told me about? Because that is one newsletter notification I KNOW I didn’t unsubscribe for. Somebody dropped the ball if that was the case. They know I love Christ. I shoulda been first in line for that signature.
Who signed this book and who gave them the right? Was it Morgan Freeman? Cecily Tyson? Barbara Walters? Because those three could sign this book and it’d be justified. Seeing as how they were instrumental in the creation. Barbara typed the book up as Morgan narrated and Cecily was head editor. She made sure no spelling errors were present. If it wasn’t one of this trinity, then I say NAWL!
Maybe it was Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. Either way, I hope they’re sharing the proceeds with Jesus because embezzling Christ’s funds ain’t just gon be jail time but eternal condemnation in Texas at high noon in the middle of summer with no shade and four sweaters on.
So… can someone tell me who signed this copy?