Top of the Hour Almost Ruined Me: Scandal Episode 216 Recap
FOUR WEEKS! It’s been four GOOD weeks without Scandal. I was the most thirsty I’d ever been for this show. It’s like someone dropped me off in a desert at high noon and said “find your way.” I needed Shonda an’ em to come back into my life and last night, they did.
*spoilers begin here*
In case you missed it or forgot about where they left off, Jake figured out that his assignment with Fitz is personal, Prez Ghost is failing because of the American citizens being held hostage in Kashfar, Huck is perturbed and not showering and Albatross is CIA dude! So let’s jump right into it!
Press Not Pizza – A family (the Stanners) is sitting in their kitchen waiting on dinner and the doorbell rings. Their young daughter (Annie) hops up because the food they ordered must be here. She opens the door and instead of the pizza guy, there’s plenty of press with mics and cameras. They’re all shooting out questions about some affair and she screams for her parents. Uh oh! The mother calls her lawyer, who tells her that Olivia Pope will get on the job.
Liv Got Juice - Olivia is in Jake’s office waiting for them to go to dinner when her phone rings. She has to go, but before she leaves, she asks him about the hostage situation and hands him an envelope with the information on Albatross. He wonders why she isn’t taking it to the White House, asking “Aren’t you hooked up pretty good…?” Clearly, he knows President Ghost got feels for her.
Gladiators Goon In – Liv, Harrison and Abby roll into the Stanner house, with that hard walk I’m always here for. When they ring the doorbell, and the mom lets them in, and says she’s expecting Olivia Pope. She looks at Abby, and Liv says SHE’S Olivia. Sarah needed to pick her face up from the floor because that was clearly not what she was expecting.
The Gladiators spring to action, telling the Stanners to bring in any of their garbage because folks will rifle through it and Liv wants to know everything! Sarah’s hubby Phil says they’re just a normal family but Pope points at that normal is gone. Once you’re accused of having an affair with a major political figure, normal gets punted through the goalposts of life. Liv asks her what her relationship with the judge is and why could be suspected to have had an affair with him. Sarah replies with “It’s all true.” CHILE, I had to hold on to my wig cuz… WHOOO!
And I can’t go on without giving a shoutout to that white jacket with the origami bottom that Olivia had on. It was LAIDT like justice and courage!
Spying 101 with Huck – Huck and Quinn are trailing on the CIA Director, since he is Albatross. Huck says the director has a shadow who follows him everywhere and tells him what to eat. His security detail is like Weight Watchers with guns. She says “You’re good at this. Stalking people.” And he tells her “You’ll get there.” HUCKLEBERRY QUINN FOR THE WIN!
Competing for Attention – Cyrus is trying to go see President Ghost but his secretary isn’t letting him in. Then Mellie shows up with “America’s Baby.” When Fitz is told they’re both there, he picks Cyrus to see him first. Ouch. He tells Cyrus to fix the affair thing because it involves the person he wants to nominate to the Supreme Court. He basically scolded Cy and dismisses him. Then, he opens his door and grabs the baby from Mellie. As she tries to talk to him and enter, he slams it in her face.
And he did it so proper that I felt the air draft all the way from where I was. Double ouch!
Not a Teenage Love Affair – Sarah tells Olivia that the affair she had with Judge Randall was 15 years before, when she was 24, in Law School and one of his students. She was married by then too. There were emails exchanged between the two, and probably a trail to easily connect them so they agree to just come forward and admit the relationship to the press.
Apolitical Love Pocket – Cyrus finds out Olivia is representing Sarah and he calls her to say he wants her to deny the relationship because he is really important to the President and cannot afford this scandal. She tells him she isn’t working for Prez Fitz or the White House so that isn’t her business and she’s apolitical on the matter. Cy replies with “Is your vagina apolitical?” *faints* I DON DIE!
Best line of the night! He says he’s gonna destroy Sarah’s reputation and Liv dares him to. Lawd, two goons facing off. I’m not ready.
Dirty Sarah, Innocent Murray – Judge Murray Randall is supposed to be Jsutice Verna’s SCOTUS replacement and is being nominated by Prez Ghost. Cyrus gets on the ball and digs up all the dirt on Sarah, including old spring break pictures, emails and old classmates of hers who are willing to speak up about her loose morals. He pulled out all the stops to paint her as some floozy who somehow lured old Murray Randall into her sexy web of deceit.
And then, Liv gets word that RyoCorp, the organization that Sarah is CEO of, is asking her to resign for violating their morality clause. Judge Randall ain’t keep his peen in his pants and Sarah’s getting her wig snatched in the media and losing her job. No justice.
Mellie’s Nosiness Fails Her – Mellie hasn’t been getting time with Fitz, since he shut her out so she forces his secretary to let her see his schedule. She sees that he makes late night phonecalls and even his secretary doesn’t know who they’re to. Girl, don’t go looking if you’re afraid about what you may find. Stay in the dark because the light gon hurt your feelings.
She immediately goes to Cyrus, questioning him about whether Fitz is sleeping with Olivia again. He tells her “Where your husband is dipping his signing pen is not my concern.” Basically, he doesn’t give half of a damb what Ghost is doing at night and can’t help her. WELP! And then he throws her some sass.
Hot Piece of Evidence – Jake shows up at the Stanner house outside, surprising her with the yellow envelope she gave him. He tells her that it’s super high level but tight info on the agents that were being targeted for killing in Kashfar. And he needs to know if it’s accurate and reliable before he acts on it, because it is that sensitive. She assures him that it is, and as she does, someone peeks into the garden, says Liv’s name and takes their picture. Jake wants to go after him but she tells him that it comes with the territory.
Harrison for the Fix – Harrison goes to talk to one of the heads at Sarah’s organization, and she tries to talk big to him, not knowing she’s playing with fire. Fire who is HELLA FAHN! He does his usual fast talk that shuts most people up and she looks at him like Santa Clause. He walks into the Stanner house with news that the morality clause is off the table. Harrison works FAST! Yall better respect that Gladiator in Gingham!
All Falls Down – All seems to be getting slightly fixed when they get news that there’s video tape and other evidence showing that Sarah and the judge’s affair went on for years beyond what was otherwise thought. She was having an affair with him around the time she got pregnant with her daughter? Is she his? WOOOOO!!! Phil realizes their whole marriage might have been a lie and storms out the house, pushing down one of the press folks who was in the way. Harrison gets him under control and basically drags him back in the house. Just when we thought it was going right. Sarah’s been living BOGUS! Dangggg. Also, why don’t people come clean to Liv TO START?
Huckleberry Quinn on the Job – Huck is on the phone with Quinn, watching her as she walks into a dry cleaner where the director of the CIA went. It’s the one place he goes without any of his detail and when she shows up, she’s asked if she’s picking up or dropping off. She gets back into the car wearing just her cami, with her boobs all out. She had to think fast and drop off her cardigan, leaving all her #Clevelands out. Huck hands her a shirt from the backseat and tells her that it’s important that she has the right props for these kind of occasions. Also, she is slightly proud of herself for getting the Director’s phone number while there. Huck tells her he doubts that it’s his real number.
We’re All Ruined – Cyrus tells Fitz that Olivia is representing Sarah Stanner and he gets mad, wondering if this is some sort of way to get back at him. Then he calls her. She picks up thinking it’s Cyrus and is shocked to hear President Ghost’s voice. He tells her that he initially wanted to ask her why she’s trying to sabotage his SCOTUS nominee. But really, he was calling her to talk about how hurt he was that she didn’t have the confidence in him that he’d be a good president. He doesn’t realize that she actually did, which is why she agreed to Defiance! He says: “I trusted you. You’re all I had… You ruined me.” And she replies with “I’m ruined.”
WHERE IS MY KLEENEX?!?! *wall slides* These star-crossed lovers not gon murk my thug like this when they clearly will!!!
Albatross to Fitz – As Prez Ghost hangs up, Jake comes in and he says he doesn’t want updates on Olivia because he knows what she’s up to. But he ain’t come for that anyway. Jake was there to tell him about Albatross, with information on where the hostages were and he wanted to come to Fitz to tell him so he could say the word and have them move on it. The President is stunned. Officer Truman Show walks out and Mellie sees him, with this curious glint in her eye.
An Occasion for Wine – Liv is with Sarah, who is miserable about her failing marriage. Sarah wants Olivia to have a drink of wine with her, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Lawd knows they both need it to take the edge off. She says she was saving it for a special occasion, and when her husband called her a whore, she thought that occasion had arrived.
Pope tells her “It’s not that you never told him the truth. It’s that you let him believe a lie.” Liv be speaking HER own truth to others. Annie, Sarah’s daughter, might not be her husband’s daughter and she asks Liv how you fix betrayal. “Betrayal always has a price.” Liv surely knows what that price is. MMHMM!
Quinn is Learning – As they keep spying on Osbourne (the CIA chief), Quinn wonders why he’d go to a drycleaners alone. And then she has a lightbulb moment, realizing that it must be his dropoff spot of the money being sent to the hostage holders. AW SHIT! She tests it out by going into the laundromat, using the number of the CIA that she got last time and they give her his clothes. When she gets in the car, she finds an envelope with MAD cash in it. This confirms her suspicion. But she didn’t want it to seem like she was onto it so she took the suits back, saying she was given the wrong clothes. Quinn is getting GOOD! Yes ma’am!
Annie, Are You Okay? – Liv walks into the Stanner house and sees Annie at the kitchen table. She asks her why she isn’t in school, and the young girl tells her she found out that her dad might not be her real dad. Olivia assures her that no matter what, he will always be her father. Aawww, Annie. It’s gon be ok.
Kashfar Raid and Mortal Kombat – President Ghost moved on that Albatross info, getting a team to land in Kashfar to raid the place where the hostages are. He tells Cyrus right before the raid happens, telling him he handled what he was supposed to. As the defense team watches the raid happen live in the War Room, some masked man is in a house that isn’t his, looking for something. Someone shows up and the masked man (who I thought might have been Huck) fights him and gets punched a couple of times, but ends up beating him up and taking his camera. It was like Mortal Kombat, as he had homeboy on the floor bleeding. Seems what he was looking for was the picture of Jake and Olivia, which shows up on the viewfinder. It’s Jake.
The Kashfar raid was a success and the hostages were freed without any of them getting hurt. The War Room went nuts and fist pumps were all around. But the CIA director was in his chair looking like he saw a ghost. OOPS.
Jakes takes off his mask and gets a call from Fitz, thanking him for the intel. He has a black eye and says he was just doing his job.
Betrayal and Blackmail – Abby and Harrison are talking about the Stanners and the topic of betrayal comes up. She said folks get over it, like she got over him ruining her relationship with David. He apologizes and she tells him she knows he’s a gladiator first and a person second so it’s part of what he does. Abby doesn’t lie. She just happens to be a pain in the ass. Anywho, she comes up with an idea to save Sarah’s job, which is being decided on in a board meeting at RyoCorp that day.
The Gladiators show up at the meeting with a box. As the members threaten to get them thrown out, they say they’re there to make sure Mrs. Stanner keeps her job. They say they have dirt on everyone at that table and are willing to start spilling it all. One member hops before Harrison finishes his countdown and suddenly, the morality clause is off the table again and her job is safe. If all else fails, blackmail.
Where is Maury? - Liv is sitting with Phil and Sarah with a white envelope that has the results of the paternity test. She slides it to Phil and tells him not to let whatever is in it change his life. In that week, the Stanners had been through more than some couples in 2 decades and it’s just a piece of paper. “The two of you have been thru a war. You have wounds. The only thing that will let that heal is time.” Phil looks at the envelope, rips it in half and slides it back to Olivia. ATTA BOY! But ummm… I kinda wanna know who the papi is. O_O
Fitz’ New Cyrus - Mellie goes to see Cyrus, who is a bit butthurt that he is still not in President Ghost’s confidence, as he was shut out the Kashfar thing. He tells Mellie that he doesn’t think Fitz is cheating on her and she tells him “He’s not cheating on me, Cy. He’s cheating on you.” And she slides him Jake’s pic. She’s so damb petty.
Jakes’ Unexpected Visit – Olivia’s doorbell rings, and she opens it to find Jake with a black eye. He tells her he got mugged and she lets him in. He sits down on her couch, and looks directly into the camera and smiles. What a creep! I do not trust him one bit!
And if someone shows up to MY house talmbout they got mugged, I’d ask them why they didn’t go to the police? I ain’t 911!
Albatross be Knowing – Albatross gets a call from the guy who runs the drycleaners and he looks on his phone and there’s 2 pictures of Quinn on it. AW NAW!!! He’s on to her. Quinn, you in danger girl! She bet not die! I’m finally starting to tolerate her. Huck, stand by your girl! Let Huckleberry Quinn be a thing.
Chile… I wanna thank Motha Shonda for not pulling the usual “slay us all in the last 30 secs” stunt. My blood pressure thanks you. Shonda pulled something but it wasn’t the kind of stunt that has me busting out epic *wall slides* on all vertical surfaces in my house. But I feel like she’s prepping us for some gut punch things to come. I cannot stand down. STAY VIGILANTE, GLADIATORS!
So what did y’all think of this episode? What do you think Jake’s REAL deal is? Also, what is Albatross gonna do now? I haz questions!
Also, check out my podcast Ratchet and the Geek, where me and Scott Hanselman talk all things Scandal, tech, social media and pop culture! New episode just dropped!
Shourrout to Scandal Moments Tumblr for the Scandal scene gifs!