Poor Kim. Ray-J is a Bitter Dustrag and Kanye is a Douchebag
Ever since Kim Kardashian got #PREGNET with Kanye West’s baby, she’s been catching a lot of flack. Folks were already calling her everything but a child of God. But after we learned she had conceived the little coffee baby she had mentioned she wanted, she has been the object of even more roast and side-eyes.
Y’all already know I’m not a Kim K fan because I think she needs to have a seat. I e’em wrote about how she can’t dress herself WORTH A DAMB right now (Kim Kardashian’s Pregnancy Wardrobe is Awkward), rocking bodycon dresses and looking like a squozed up sausage. And peplum. PEPLUM IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, PREGNANT KIMBERLY! All I’m asking is that she dresses better for her new body.
Meanwhile, everyone is calling the girl fat, as if they expected to LOSE weight when carrying a baby in her womb. Let’s all cut her some slack. The chile has had it rough, by her own admittance. She says she’s had a touch pregnancy and I believe her because she be looking like “the struggle” epitomized. I feel bad for her. She’s prolly somewhere wishing she could take a gulp of wine to the head.
But what sucks more for the lady is that the Ghost of Exes Past keeps haunting her. Her divorce to Kris Humphries finally got finalized. They were in court for like 1,000 times longer than they were actually married. Kris behaved though. It’s Ray-J who really ain’t tryna have her live in peace.
A month or so ago, Brandy’s lil
bother brother, released a single called “I Hit It First.” In ultra-messy status, the cover was a pixelated version of Kim Kardashian in a bikini And he just came out with a video where he is frolicking with a Kim look alike.
I mean seriously?? The first line is “She might move on to rappers and ballplayers, but we all know I hit it first.”
Sir, SHET YO ASS UP, though! Ray-J’s bitchassness is showing and he has nowhere to tuck it in. That messy summabish. Who does that?!? He JUST stopped having Brandy pay his light bills like 5 years ago. He needs to chill. He is still a bitter and belligerent dustrag and I am not here for him.
How completely childish are you to create a song letting the world know that you had sex with someone like 10 years ago? We got a tape already. WE KNOW! Also, does he want some sort of gold star or blue ribbon??? Congrats for sticking your
pencil peen into someone’s Love Pocket. YOU GET NOTHING. Idiot. IS HE TWELVE? So damb stupid.
Someone needs to cunt punt Ray-J into getting some sense. Brandy, COME GET YOUR BULLETHEAD ASS BROTHER! Ugh!
That sextape did get us to know who Kim Kardashian is but it also branded her with the tramp stamp scarlet letter I don’t think she deserves. And I didn’t ALWAYS think this. I used to be part of the loud chorus of folks calling her a hoe but I’ve grown in the past couple of years and really thought about my beliefs and my judgeyness.
The whole “hoe” thing is problematic for many reasons, like the fact that it’s so damb subjective and it’s the go-to insult that people use to hit below the belt. Plus, there’s the whole “it’s her body and she can do what she wants” thing. And there’s the whole double standard thing (and yes, I think men can be hoes. In fact, many are KING, EARL and DUKE HOES). And there’s even more logically… besides, Kanye, Reggie Bush, Ray-J and Kris Humphries, who else can we tie to Kim in the last 10 years? There’s prolly more but yeah…
Can we talk about how Taylor Swift has been linked to more men than Kim Kardashian but no one calls her hoe? We can’t? Aight. Maybe later. Also, if you think Kim is a hoe, then what’s your sister, aunt and cousins doing? But I’m sleep. And that’s just me being petty.
Honestly, the word “hoe” gets thrown around too much and we should all chill on it. Ray-J is a world class asshole for this song, which he did because he is a trashy, spiteful, washed up and bitter dustrag.
One good thing came out of this though. Someone created a cartoon of Morgan Freeman reading the lyrics and it is as hilarious as you might imagine. Please get into it below and get your life!
FUNTY as heck. And Morgan Freeman’s voice makes everything awesome.
But yeah. NO COUNTRY FOR RAY-J AND HIS FOOLISH ANTHEM!!!
Ennehweighs, though. Kim’s baby daddy, Kanye ain’t such a champ himself. Video came out of them going shopping in Paris (again) and Kanye didn’t e’em look like he was there for Kim at all. First of all, he stood by and watched her struggle to get out of the car. She’s about 12 months pregnant. The least you can do is reach down and help her get out the car, knucklehead!
Then as they walked into the Givenchy store building, Kanye stood by and waited for Kim to open the door. For both of them. Just watch:
I was outdone and offended on her behalf. I said WUT?!?!? How are you not only gonna let her tug the door herself, but you WAITED for her to do it?
I don’t understand. Chivalry is not dead and I won’t accept it. If my boo does not open my door, we gon have some issues. Even my regular guy friends open my door when we’re together. Meanwhile, Kanye’s watching his pregnant girlfriend let herself in a building like he ain’t got no home training. Chile, iCANNOT.
@Luvvie That's because Kanye is a monumental asshat filled with douche-flavored nougat.
— Kitty Softpaws^._.^ (@rozzaboy) April 30, 2013
Then again. Kim actually pumped Kanye’s gas while he sat in the car. Do y’all remember that??? The girl needs an intervention. Low #Selfofsteam is an epidemic among us and we need to find a cure.
And for me, the lack of chivalry thing represents itself in other areas. Kanye didn’t show much consideration for Kim and that was in the 30 second clip. Are we all judging their relationship from that 30 second clip? A lil bit. But body language and ALL’AT shows that he wasn’t really giving half of a damb. She is carrying his child. The least he can do is ACT like he cares. SHEESH! Kanye is all:
One of my friends pointed out that he wasn’t in a protective stance at all. And another said maybe they fought because Kim broke the “no color” rule since she was in red. I HOLLERED!
So this is the nonsense Kimberly Kardashian has been dealing with. This pregnancy has endeared me to her and I just wanna get another Kim (Coles) to send her a “woo woo woo” bouquet.” The chile seems to be a part of Team Bad Decisions with her men choices and she doesn’t seem happy. Eyyaaaa.
I must be getting soft in my old age because… yeah. Anywho, am I the only one feeling bad for Kim, and wishing some of the men she’s dealt with and deals with get atomic wedgies that last for weeks?
Well, Ray-J deserves to be given a papercut while someone dips his hand in nailpolish remover.
P.S. They BETTER not name this baby “North.” O_______O
Edit: Damb. I guess I AM the only one that feels bad for her. Yall are letting Kim HAVE IT in the comments.