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A Girlfriend Scorned and the Breakup Scavenger Hunt

When relationships end, oftentimes, they aren’t amicable. And sometimes, one party is so hurt that they can’t help themselves but to get petty. And from time to time, they’ll act out on it. Like the lady below did when she found out that her boyfriend hasn’t been completely honest with her.

breakup letter

ALL THE WELPS THAT EVER WELPED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WELPVERSE!

She is MAD about whatever it is she found in homeboy’s Facebook account and she orchestrated a woman scorned scavenger hunt with his belongings. He was probably in his private messages acting single dinnamug with whoever Kelsi is. SMDH.

Why do people never learn that Facebook is the devil and it will get them in trouble ALLATAHM!? Log out of your account when you’re not on the computer. It’s like leaving your voicemails playing for the whole world to listen. Also, maybe try not to be a dishonest douchebag. Just a suggestion.

Homegirl is petty, although I do think this is the best breakup game ever. Except I’m sure he didn’t have any fun with it. I wonder if dude found this stuff before other people did. I bet he never recovered them vieogames because he probably didn’t remember where that first kiss was. He gon get that TV though. I bet he RAN there.

Whooo. Folks gon learn.

Whatchu think and what would you do if you were the boyfie?

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27 Comments

  1. milaxx
    June 24, 2013 at 1:20 pm — Reply

    I’d like to say I wouldn’t be as petty, but I dunno, you creep on me I might want to get just a creative.

    • Val B
      June 24, 2013 at 4:28 pm — Reply

      I hate to admit that I would STRONGLY think about doing this. Then that other part of me that just wants to be a bigger person would pop up. Then I’d just give her a cookie and commence to setting up the scavenger hunt…lol

  2. Justlikehoney1
    June 24, 2013 at 1:21 pm — Reply

    This letter is hilarious but *in my Joseline voice* I don’t have time for these shenetigans….

    Folks need to stop blaming FB and other social media sites for the downfall of their relationship. This is just the platform that your ain’t-shitness was exposed with, not the reason you ain’t-shit.

    • Coqui
      June 24, 2013 at 2:50 pm — Reply

      Right.

  3. KieshaB
    June 24, 2013 at 1:22 pm — Reply

    Whelp. That’s all I can say.

    On the upside, I’m sure some lucky people came across some very nice things.

  4. Jae
    June 24, 2013 at 1:23 pm — Reply

    At least she gave him a TINY chance to get his stuff and didn’t go all Angela Bassett on him because I sure would’ve

  5. Ambar
    June 24, 2013 at 1:26 pm — Reply

    I don’t think she was petty. I think she knew it was over and she might as well have fun with it. A lot of other girls would have probably thrown bleach on his stuff (or destroyed it in some other way), messaged Kelsi and went HAM, waited for dude to come back and then start getting real aggressive real fast. She basically gave him the middle finger without really destroying anything but his pride.

  6. Tracey
    June 24, 2013 at 1:50 pm — Reply

    It may have been petty, but man I bet she felt good when she was done. And I bet he’s going to have all his social media and e-mail accounts on double secret lockdown after this.

  7. jcanwisegrrl
    June 24, 2013 at 1:59 pm — Reply

    What Mellie should have done to Fitz’s no good lyin’-ass cheatin’-ass. And planted reporters at each location.

    Ok, this Scandal withdrawal is too real. Back to work I go!

    • Jabari
      June 25, 2013 at 12:51 pm — Reply

      Ma’am I was just about to be over my Scandal withdrawal until you said something…..DARN YOU!!!!! *shakes fist* *heads back to my quiet corner* *rocking bagginfoof in a fetal position*

  8. me
    June 24, 2013 at 2:01 pm — Reply

    They obviously live together, so the fact that he is doing crap like this to a live-in mate is immature and deserves an immature reaction.

  9. Trina
    June 24, 2013 at 2:03 pm — Reply

    He. Got. Off. Easy. I think even though this is petty she is showing some maturity and growth. Bet he wishes he was paying more attention now huhn.

    I have an aunt that, found out about the cheating, waited till everyone thought everything was cool, had a KEY made of chicks house (I still dont know how and she aint saying), went to old girls house while she was at work and went to town on the entire house with a few bottles of bleach. At the end no one had clothes not even the kids, tvs and electronics were ruined, and she even bleached the dog. Yep you read that right. The dang dog. That did fido do? Nothing. Locked up the house and was out. 2 very big lessons that day, (1) dont mess with aunty, (2) never keep accepting a cheater back NEVER! They will make you crazy.

    • Urbansista
      June 24, 2013 at 2:45 pm — Reply

      Lawd have his mercy! She went all Jack Bauer, incognegress on them.

    • milaxx
      June 24, 2013 at 4:42 pm — Reply

      I can’t with the potential injury to a harmless animal. Fido can’t help it that his owner is good for nothing.

  10. missthg
    June 24, 2013 at 2:38 pm — Reply

    She didn’t go all I’ll bust the windows on your car on him…

  11. Nicole74
    June 24, 2013 at 3:58 pm — Reply

    I actually thought this was funny DENAMUG. So she hid his stuff in places that obviously meant something to their relationship? Big deal. Personally I would have done a Jasmine Sullivan/Bernadine 2 for 1 on his bitchmade azz, went to both of their jobs and put them on blast (with a nice A/V presentation to highlight the skeeviness in living color), posted an ad on Craigslist (with cell AND work #s included) in the Casual Encounters M4M/W4W/W4WW/M4MM sections, and then cleaned out his savings/checking accounts, hid the money and maxed out our mutual credit cards on a trip someplace ridiculously expensive. And all of this would have taken place while his triflin’ ass was on a “work related” trip with his whore of the moment.

    I’m just sayin’ what I would do. I ain’t say I had did nuffin’ like that.

    *right eye twitches*

    why you lookin’ at me like that?

    • Chiq
      June 24, 2013 at 4:17 pm — Reply

      Ouch! Do you need a hug?!

    • Shay
      June 24, 2013 at 5:31 pm — Reply

      Uhhhhhhh *backs away from computer screen*

    • Jabari
      June 25, 2013 at 12:54 pm — Reply

      Awww naw Ms. Nicole, everything cool (pressing the silent alarm under the desk)

    • Jabari
      June 25, 2013 at 1:00 pm — Reply

      Awww naw Ms. Nicole, everything is cool *pressing the silent alarm under the desk*

  12. June 24, 2013 at 5:24 pm — Reply

    I hope this was cathartic for her. I am amused.

    I can’t imagine what the boyfriend did. I wonder if Kelsi is still in the picture.

  13. Daniel Ben-Zvi
    June 24, 2013 at 10:07 pm — Reply

    While I approve of our unnamed homegirl’s creativity, I think it’s gonna take some serious work to beat this breakup revenge story I once heard (second hand, note you, I’m rather glad I don’t know this person).

    Picture it: guy and girl are together. Guy cheats on girl with other girl. Girl proceeds to hit up a friend and gets some official death certificates. She then fills said death certificates up with all of guy’s relevant details and proceeds to send them to: his boss, his credit card companies, his parents, etc…

    Needless to say, guy was both not pleased and had a hell of a lot of cleanup work to do. And yours truly learned a valuable lesson on how a woman cheated on is capable of going to some *scary* places.

    • June 25, 2013 at 5:24 pm — Reply

      Damn. That’s all types of illegal.

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  15. Carriecnh12
    June 25, 2013 at 2:34 pm — Reply

    Just one question, could anything beat what Angela (BURN ALL HIS cheap crap) and Janet(Singing gay telegram)did in their movies and Blu Cantrell in “OOPS” sell all of the expensive things, except maybe doing them at the same time?

  16. margie
    June 25, 2013 at 3:56 pm — Reply

    Not sure why GROWN ASS PEOPLE (well, I don’t know how old these fools are but this goes for everybody) who are in relationships can’t just be honest with one another. If you want out, get out. If you’re not feeling it, speak up. Stop being so damn selfish or a coward – sneaking around is only going to make things worse.

    That man got what he deserved. Yeah, it’s petty. She could’ve just packed his shit and left it at the door, but, at least she didn’t trash it all. ::kanye shrug::

  17. nsb3
    July 26, 2013 at 12:26 pm — Reply

    While I think this was exceedingly hilarious dennamug, remember that some of this stuff can result in catchin’ a damb caseforeal. At the very least she could end up all in front of Judge Joe Brown n’ junk splainin’ why she ain’t have to pay her ex-papi back for all the “unauthorized” disposal of his stuff. I think cheatin’ is a fool’s game and I do not suffer fools well fuhsho, however, if I can handle, with maturity, a break-up with a woman who broke out on me with a couple (yes you read that right a damb COUPLE!) and still maintain a friendly relationship with her, then it is ALL DAY and FOREVER reasonable for others to avoid crimes and civil liability in their break-up behavior. Feel me? All I am sayin’ is “carefy gus gus rucify mean!” And by rucify I mean the law towards black folk! (Im a single father so Cinderella quotes are forever proper comin’ outta me.)

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