As you are well aware by now, the KimYe baby has been born. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now parents and the world (aka those of us too invested in pop culture) said a collective prayer for the young human who has been placed in their care.
For months, folks have been wondering what they will call their little cub or cubette, and many of us took to calling him/her North.Because North West as a name is hella amusing and a mess at the same time. Plus it’s something so ridiculous that it’d make for great fodder and blog posts like this.
A day after Ye’s album “Yeezus” leaked, the twosome welcomed their baby girl and names started floating around. Like Kaidence. And Although I rolled my eyes because of course it was musically-themed, I thought it was cute.
It was just announced and confirmed by the Patron Saint of Petty Celebrity Shit, TMZ, that the baby’s name is indeed “North.”
And we wondered why any of us ever thought it was far-fetched to begin with.
I think I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Kanye heard so much talk about North West and decided he’d be give us what we secretly wanted and feared simultaneously, Because he’s Kanye. But we can’t just blame him for this. Kim clearly agreed.
She is named after a direction. I don’t know who the joke is on: her or us. All her gifts will be compass themed for the rest of her life. In fact, there’s a diamond Cartier compass being mad as we speak (yup, I’m sure of it). And when Kanye creates a festival called North by Northwest, we’re all gonna shake our heads again and then buy tickets to watch him angrily sing lullabies on a massive stage while rocking a leather kilt.
They say it takes a village to raise a kid and I’ma need whoever it is in their village it takes to raise her to have more sense than her Ye and Kim because this little girl is gonna have one… unconventional life. Being born to two incredible attention sluts like this won’t be the easiest but they’re rich so I should just shut up. At least they can afford ALL the therapy. ALL OF IT!
I’m still blank staring though.
North will be rocking baby bodycon onesies designed by Herve Leger and booties by Louis Vuitton. I won’t lie and say I’m not looking forward to seeing how this whole Kardashian-West parenting thing plays out. My hope is they both go find seats to occupy for a while, get out the spotlight and enjoy being new parents for a bit. But I’m nosy so I’m ready for North West’s first magazine cover. After Kim’s liposuction and tummy tuck, of course. You know baby weight doesn’t go with her outfits.
At least she has company in the “Celebs, Stop Naming Your Kids Oddly” tribe. There’s Apple, Inspektor, and let’s face it, Blue Ivy (YEAH I SAID IT. DEAL!). But North West. Chile… ok.
Oh Little Baby North. Welcome to the world. I bet you’re cute as a button. Or a blinged out compass. And I hope you look nothing like this:
Whatcha’ll think of the name of this baby? Also, what presents are we gon get her (besides therapy sessions)?
Edit: TMZ posted a picture of the birth certificate and this baby doesn’t even have a middle name. She’s just North West. iCan’t.
Category: Famous folks