Famous folks

So Kanye and Kim’s Baby is Named North West. Oh.

As you are well aware by now, the KimYe baby has been born. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now parents and the world (aka those of us too invested in pop culture) said a collective prayer for the young human who has been placed in their care.

For months, folks have been wondering what they will call their little cub or cubette, and many of us took to calling him/her North.Because North West as a name is hella amusing and a mess at the same time. Plus it’s something so ridiculous that it’d make for great fodder and blog posts like this.

A day after Ye’s album “Yeezus” leaked, the twosome welcomed their baby girl and names started floating around. Like Kaidence. And Although I rolled my eyes because of course it was musically-themed, I thought it was cute.

AND THEN…

It was just announced and confirmed by the Patron Saint of Petty Celebrity Shit, TMZ, that the baby’s name is indeed “North.”

headdesk gif

And we wondered why any of us ever thought it was far-fetched to begin with.

I think I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Kanye heard so much talk about North West and decided he’d be give us what we secretly wanted and feared simultaneously, Because he’s Kanye. But we can’t just blame him for this. Kim clearly agreed.

North West.

She is named after a direction. I don’t know who the joke is on: her or us. All her gifts will be compass themed for the rest of her life. In fact, there’s a diamond Cartier compass being mad as we speak (yup, I’m sure of it). And when Kanye creates a festival called North by Northwest, we’re all gonna shake our heads again and then buy tickets to watch him angrily sing lullabies on a massive stage while rocking a leather kilt.

They say it takes a village to raise a kid and I’ma need whoever it is in their village it takes to raise her to have more sense than her Ye and Kim because this little girl is gonna have one… unconventional life. Being born to two incredible attention sluts like this won’t be the easiest but they’re rich so I should just shut up. At least they can afford ALL the therapy. ALL OF IT!

I’m still blank staring though.

kanye blink gif

North will be rocking baby bodycon onesies designed by Herve Leger and booties by Louis Vuitton. I won’t lie and say I’m not looking forward to seeing how this whole Kardashian-West parenting thing plays out. My hope is they both go find seats to occupy for a while, get out the spotlight and enjoy being new parents for a bit. But I’m nosy so I’m ready for North West’s first magazine cover. After Kim’s liposuction and tummy tuck, of course. You know baby weight doesn’t go with her outfits.

At least she has company in the “Celebs, Stop Naming Your Kids Oddly” tribe. There’s Apple, Inspektor, and let’s face it, Blue Ivy (YEAH I SAID IT. DEAL!). But North West. Chile… ok.

Oh Little Baby North. Welcome to the world. I bet you’re cute as a button. Or a blinged out compass. And I hope you look nothing like this:

kanye west kim kardashian north west

Because the internet is full of fools.

Whatcha’ll think of the name of this baby? Also, what presents are we gon get her (besides therapy sessions)?

Edit: TMZ posted a picture of the birth certificate and this baby doesn’t even have a middle name. She’s just North West. iCan’t.

Previous post

The Makeup Show, BWB, BlogHer Etc: Where I'm Speaking This Summer

Next post

A Girlfriend Scorned and the Breakup Scavenger Hunt

54 Comments

  1. June 21, 2013 at 8:42 am — Reply

    I expected this, honestly. If you didn’t be shocked at that. These two are full of fuckery.

    • June 21, 2013 at 9:05 am — Reply

      Full of fuckery is right. But can this really be true? I heard it on GMA this morning and assumed Lara was just Konfused. It can’t be North. That has to be some kind of shenanigan. That poor kid.

  2. Markia
    June 21, 2013 at 8:43 am — Reply

    I read there was no middle name given….so her name is in fact just North West -_-

  3. Jai
    June 21, 2013 at 8:54 am — Reply

    Why Lawd?

  4. Shawty Do Wop
    June 21, 2013 at 8:58 am — Reply

    i recieved a message about this a 5:30am…AM. i was woekn out of my sleep to this!. so i bed slid for my life. But at the end of the day…North West may end up being more acceptable then some of the tomfoolery the reglah folks be nameing they kids…..

    • Shawty Do Wop
      June 21, 2013 at 8:59 am — Reply

      i cant even spell i was pulled outta my sleep so early. smh. i think its sad ive heard more talk about this baby then the Trayvon Martin trail.

    • Bia
      June 21, 2013 at 11:46 am — Reply

      Exactly lol. I’m totally here for compass jokes, fun and foolery, but let’s not act like some our cousins don’t name their kids after liquor and random scrabble tile selections. Traquajonisha Smith is far more tragic than North West, imo.

      • RavenJ
        June 21, 2013 at 2:06 pm — Reply

        GO TO JAIL! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200!
        _________ @ Traquajonisha and random scrabble tile selections

  5. June 21, 2013 at 9:20 am — Reply

    There needs to be a prayer circle set up 24-7 for little North West. Lawdhavemercy I just can’t.

  6. June 21, 2013 at 9:22 am — Reply

    You know Kimye pays attention to them intranets!!!!! Ya’ll did this. LOL.
    I actually wish he would have been clever enough to spell it “Knorth” instead of “North.” At least the “K” theme would have been in full effect.
    Not too much shade from me today…because, well, we knew those two egos would explode into something like this.

    • march pisces
      June 21, 2013 at 2:47 pm — Reply

      shout out to the silent “K” and Katt Williams. “No, that would be Ka-Nife!” LOLOL

      North West….smh!

  7. Tracey
    June 21, 2013 at 9:25 am — Reply

    Anything for attention, I suppose. As my daddy would say in situations like this, Jesus wept.

  8. June 21, 2013 at 9:28 am — Reply

    *welp*…a baby named after a direction that Kim esp prob couldnt find on a map…or a compass…. that’s just sad.

    Perhaps it’s a branding move. As is everything the KardashianWests do

  9. June 21, 2013 at 10:12 am — Reply

    I still maintain it’s not love to name your child something like this.

    • Elita
      June 21, 2013 at 1:18 pm — Reply

      Agreed.

  10. JabariTh
    June 21, 2013 at 10:31 am — Reply

    “we’re all gonna shake our heads again and then buy tickets to watch him angrily sing lullabies on a massive stage while rocking a leather kilt.”

    This!
    Kanye’s blank stare .gif!
    The headdesk .gif!

    Madame Ajayi, you have murked my entire soul and spirit all before my morning coffee (which Ion’t even drink). But, yea, I’ma be nice and let KimYe and their attention-whordom cook for a while. I mean, Kimmy-Kub did just push a whole ass human outta her love pocket. But we she heals, we gon have ta talk about level of druggage you on (cause y’all know Ye slipped some of the Kool-Aid in that girl epidural) when you named named this poor unfortunate child “NORTH”!

    O_o for the meantime….

  11. nichole
    June 21, 2013 at 10:46 am — Reply

    I’m so sad for this child. And as I watch Beyond Scared Straight I realize this “bad” kids are acting out because their parents named them something ridiculous and they are just too young, as yet, to change it legally.

    I need the country to intervene for this child just like they have done in Norway, New Zealand, and Sweden.

  12. Dani
    June 21, 2013 at 10:59 am — Reply

    They shouldn’t went all out and named the child Wild Wild. Poor baby! Hopefully she’ll have a nickname that will be more reasonable than North.

  13. Chicca
    June 21, 2013 at 11:05 am — Reply

    It’s better than Blue Ivy. Because let’s be honest, that child has the same name as a stripper at Magic City.

    • June 21, 2013 at 11:15 am — Reply

      LOL YES! Yes, she does! They are setting these kids up for failure. How often to the children of famous celebrities turn out to be as successful as their parents?

    • Shaleen
      June 21, 2013 at 11:41 am — Reply

      OMG YES!!! LOL!! I will not be able to unsee from now on.

    • foxxx talltrees
      June 21, 2013 at 9:04 pm — Reply

      Blue Ivy is not that bad. If ur gonna be named a color, Blue is not the worst one. She could have been named the actual color of ivy, green. That would have sucked. Stripper at Magic City, too funny. She should be so lucky. But North West? I gots nuthin’

    • June 22, 2013 at 12:00 pm — Reply

      “Because let’s be honest, that child has the same name as a stripper at Magic City.”

      Bury me inside the Apple Store. Time of deathL 12:49pm

  14. Jazzy
    June 21, 2013 at 11:12 am — Reply

    I actually heard the baby’s name is Kadience Donda West. I’m actually hoping this is true becuase I would hate for this baby to be a victim of bullying because of her attention whoring parents.

  15. Shay
    June 21, 2013 at 12:13 pm — Reply

    This girl isn’t even a week old yet and this is already happening? Nothing’s been confirmed yet, Kim and Kanye haven’t spoken out and the same source everyone’s quoting also said Beyonce was definitely pregnant a couple of weeks ago. No chill y’all!

  16. Nicole WJ
    June 21, 2013 at 12:15 pm — Reply

    Can we gather a group for a seance to summon Dr. Donda West, so she can beat Kanye’s ass? He hasn’t made a smart decision since her passing, and is dire need of an accountability team.

    As for Kim…*snooze*

    Isn’t “Northwest by Northwest” a Hitchcock movie?

  17. KemaB
    June 21, 2013 at 12:34 pm — Reply

    I am not here for North West it’s like celebrities want their children to be picked on or something not only is it a freaking direction it’s a college c’mon on son in my Ed lover voice. I actually was praising them because Kaidence wasn’t a bad name at all that’s what I get for thinking they had sense.

    Oh and I’m not here for TMZ getting ahold of a minors birth certificate either very shady business

    • KemaB
      June 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm — Reply

      Oh and leave it to some idiot at Global Grind to try to come up with the supposed meaning if North and Nori if it isn’t the most convoluted drivel.@_________@

  18. Rae
    June 21, 2013 at 1:10 pm — Reply

    These comments are funny. But, I actually like the name North. I have since I first noticed a gentleman named North from the movie North…

    • kwan
      June 22, 2013 at 9:00 pm — Reply

      lol, but that movie was named one of the worst movies in history. To be named after failure doesn’t exactly set you up for success so let’s just hope it’s not b/c of the film.

  19. Carriecnh12
    June 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm — Reply

    I knew these two fools would do this to this child, I just knew it. Kim is such a sheep, any man she is with she lets dictate everything that she does, Not West I mean clearly she wasn’t thinking or really does not care about this child.

    This is one episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians I would watch to see the reactions on everyone’s faces when they are told the name would be priceless. Khloe would roll her eyes and stupse so hard (suck teeth for you northerners, Kourtney would hug Kim and just shake her head and Scott would probably ask for an excuse to the bathroom and roll on the floor dying.

    North West, the fact that they did not give a middle shows that even they know its messed up and a middle name would only make it worse. Self centered egotistical fools is what they are, this is proof that not everyone should be a parent.

  20. Elita
    June 21, 2013 at 1:21 pm — Reply

    The reason why North is a worse name than say, Apple or Blue Ivy, is because they only picked it because of Kanye’s last name. It’s not a name they saw in a baby book or had special meaning to them. It’s pure ego. Kanye told y’all this was his baby, not America’s. The name is just a way to bring more attention to Kanye, nothing more. And that’s very icky and gross.

    • Karen
      June 21, 2013 at 4:35 pm — Reply

      Kanye is disgusting! Icky and gross is RIGHT!

  21. June 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm — Reply

    Who is taking odds on her changing her name or going by something else?
    “Hi I’m North West and I’ll be negotiating your merger today” or “paging Dr North West” nahwl!! Not that she’d have to work for a living but it would have been awesome to have the option of living a life out of the limelight. With a name like that it seems unlikely.

  22. Tracey
    June 21, 2013 at 3:15 pm — Reply

    Dear Kanye & Kim,

    Word on the street is you’ve named your little girl, North West. Please read the following quote from the 1989 film, “Parenthood”:

    “You know…you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”

    Or mother, as it turns out.

    Good luck with that whole new parenthood thing. You may want to put some money for her in trust for therapy later on down the road.

    Love,

    Tracey

  23. Bia
    June 21, 2013 at 3:46 pm — Reply

    If you think about it, little North is likely gonna go to school with other rich/celebrity kids who also have crazy names. I doubt she’ll get picked on much. A weird name will probably be some kind of status symbol at her kindergarten.

  24. Carriecnh12
    June 21, 2013 at 4:08 pm — Reply

    On second thought why don’t K & K just change the baby’s name to something regular like Katrina (keeping with the K tradition) and change their name to Tom (Kanye) and Foolery (Kim), because these two are the epitome of foolishness and proof that common sense ain’t all that common.

    • Jabari
      June 22, 2013 at 7:59 pm — Reply

      Maam have we or have we not discussed you not murking my soul. Tom and Foolery, #iQuitU!!!!! Then, you got the nerve to call the child Katrina, here I lay….

      • Carriecnh12
        June 22, 2013 at 9:19 pm — Reply

        Jabari it was never my intention to murck you, but I mean come on, these two baked the cake, took the cake and ate it too, North West, Kim Kardashian is not a good example of a woman or a mother, this twit gon go and allow her child to be called North (which to me suits a boy) and then let the child have the father’s last name of west. She clearly has no mind of her own and I pray that Khole takes that child in hand, because she seems to be the only one around there that thinks things through.

        And honestly it wasn’t even thinking about hurricane katrina when I said that, In Barbados (where I’m from) Katrina is a popular name. So Kelly is my second option or Kadence, which I actually think is cute.

  25. Elaine
    June 21, 2013 at 4:44 pm — Reply

    Rich people problems….

    • Elaine
      June 21, 2013 at 4:48 pm — Reply

      And someone may have touched on this but I’m surprised they didn’t name the baby Knorth just to keep up with the “k” theme.

  26. pup
    June 21, 2013 at 4:51 pm — Reply

    Lord, for once I hope TMZ is wrong. *hums negro spiritual*

  27. Jabria
    June 21, 2013 at 10:35 pm — Reply

    Lord, why couldn’t they have stuck with Kaidence? That’s at least semi-normal. That wouldn’t get that child laughed off the playground(’cause you know lil kids are cruel, I don’t care who your parents are). But North… Imma go ahead and start prayin’ for this child.

  28. June 21, 2013 at 10:46 pm — Reply

    I still say they should have named her Sunsetsintha…. LOL

  29. Sunny
    June 22, 2013 at 7:42 am — Reply

    OK my BF called me at work about this – he’s like your never gonna guess what they named the baby. I’m like what? What baby? I was promply told to get it together K&K’s baby.
    So I’m like what – he says North West. Then I was confussed for the rest of the day. I’m like just North West? Or North West West?
    Then I pointed out that there was a movie named North and it was also the name of the main character. Called a lier – Googled that shit. High 5 to myself for that one.

  30. June 22, 2013 at 11:57 am — Reply

    Dad: “Kanye shouldn’t have gone Northwest if he was going with airlines. He should have named the baby Jet. That way they could have said ‘Jet, Blue’ when she and Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s kid were playing together and they could both come running.”
    My dad has no chill button.

    In all seriousness though: I can’t even deal with these celebaby names any more. They’re not my kids and I’m not getting any money or stress off of the names. I just hope that the next year of oversaturation of the two of them doesn’t make my head explode as the Kartrashians already irritate me.

    • MsZ
      June 23, 2013 at 1:32 pm — Reply

      ^^Your Dad is a fool!! That cracked me up this morning!

  31. misshuntley
    June 22, 2013 at 2:53 pm — Reply

    while This Does Sound Exactly Like The Foolishness Kanye Enjoys…. All Of Kim’s Family Begin Their Name With A K… So i Am Pretty Sure It’s Going To End Up Being Kadence. (Sp)

  32. Leo the Yardie Chick
    June 22, 2013 at 7:49 pm — Reply

    My mind’s still in deep denial. I thought this ‘North West’ foolishness was spawned from the depths of The Onion, or the bowels of the #Kimye hashtag, but no. This MIGHT be real – and if it is, I completely underestimated their level of stupidity and attention-hooker desperation.

    Seriously….this would be some young, dumb teen-parents-to-be shiggity.

  33. June 24, 2013 at 12:19 am — Reply

    After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. And thats how he named his child North West.

    • DiggyD
      June 24, 2013 at 12:23 am — Reply

      WASHINGTON WHAT ARE U DOIN HERE!!?!?!?!?!!!

  34. Tilly
    December 11, 2013 at 10:16 am — Reply

    Disappointed on u guys u r not fair to the child……..realy north…..neh

  35. April 11, 2014 at 9:21 pm — Reply

    I hardly drop remarks, however I read some
    of the comments here So Kanye and Kim’s Baby is
    Named North West. Oh. | Awesomely Luvvie. I do have a couple of questions
    for you if you don’t mind. Could it be just me
    or do some of the comments look as if they are left by brain dead individuals?
    :-P And, if you are posting at additional places, I would like to follow anything new you
    have to post. Could you make a list of the complete urls of your social networking pages
    like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin
    profile?

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>