Famous folks

Kerry Washington Got Married and is Now My Cousin

Imagine my surprise when I found out this afternoon that Kerry Washington, aka Olivia Pope got married on June 24th! YESSSS! Miss Kerry (baby) is a wedded woman, and she tied the knot to football player Nnamdi Asomugha, according to E! Online.

Kerry Washington Nnamdi Asomugha

Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images, Jason Kempin/WireImage

You know I don’t watch football but that name had a familiar ring to my ears. HE IS NIGERIAN! Kerry found her a Naija boy to settle down with, therefore she is a Naija girl by marriage. Therefore SHE IS MY COUSIN! a + b = c.

It’s science! Science. Therefore, I shall refer to her henceforth as Cousin Kerry. Please send your comments of hateration to my dancerie’s feedback box. Don’t be mad because you won’t be invited to holiday dinner with the family. We’ll show you pictures afterwards. (-_-).

Welcome to the family o, AdeKerry OluWashington Omo Asomugha. We will drink some palm wine and eat fufu and egusi stew in honor of this wonderful occasion.

But yessss, CONGRATS KERRY! I really love how incogNAIJA she was with this. We didn’t even know she was dating anyone, let alone engaged. And when she dipped off to Idaho (yes, really), no one knew. And I ain’t mad at her for it. Get your happiness, girl.

Had I been at their reception, I’da hit my roundabout like this:

African woman dancing gif

It’s serious matter.

I need her and Janet Jackson to come out with a book called “Minding My Business: Famous and Private.” Between them, they have THREE secret weddings. This is proof that you CAN maintain some semblance of privacy if you’re a celebrity. I’m just saying. It might be harder for some than others but it’s not impossible. Why? Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes.

Kerry Washington is winning 2013. She’s also on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, and is the first Black woman to do so in SIX years.

Vanity Fair Kerry Washington

The chick is flawless, looking like “YES, GAWD!” with a side of “COME ON, SOMEBODY!” I’m so HERE for KWash!

I wish Kerry and Nnamdi happiness. And adorable babies. If not, at least cute dogs to dote over.

So whatcha’ll gon get my cousin, AdeKerry, for this special occasion? You know we got high standards in my family. Come correct with gifts!

P.S. Does Nnamdi have a brother? I’m asking. For a friend. O_o

P.P.S. For those of you who need receipts, check out their marriage certificate on E! online.

P.P.P.S. I could not help myself. I had to do a BAD photoshop job of Kerry in gele (headtie). You are welcome! Pin it and share it far and wide.

And shoutout to Tiwa Lawrence for the original photo of the bride in this gele. The pic is gorgeous, by the way.

Kerry Washington in Gele

 

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53 Comments

  1. ScarletGal
    July 3, 2013 at 4:39 pm — Reply

    Congrats to Ms. Washington/ Mrs Asomugha! If only O. Pope could be this fortunate in love…

    Luvvie…your gif collection is…well, it just IS.

    iDied watching mama break it down in those heels without spilling a drop.

    We’re done here. That is all.

    • Natasha
      July 3, 2013 at 4:45 pm — Reply

      YES!!! I was laughing so hard that my nephew came by the screen to see what had me on the verge of tears….now he is laughing and imitating this dance move!! :D

    • July 3, 2013 at 5:00 pm — Reply

      Lol I was gonna say something about her GIF collection too. Hilarious stuff

  2. Natasha
    July 3, 2013 at 4:43 pm — Reply

    I love you lil ole’ crazy lady! I thank you for consistently giving me a good laugh, smile, cry….or a wicked combination of all three! <3 You rock black girl!

  3. April
    July 3, 2013 at 4:51 pm — Reply

    Shut the front door!! She married my husband in my dreams? First he leaves my team and now he goes on and gets married. I am going to mourn for a bit..

  4. Quetta
    July 3, 2013 at 4:51 pm — Reply

    Man that roundabout is everything!!! C’mon wit it…c’mooooooon!!!

  5. July 3, 2013 at 4:55 pm — Reply

    OMG that gif! L M A O!!!!!!

    Congrats Cousin Kerry & hubby. Hurry up & getcho romance on so Olivia will be refreshed & ready for the fall *googly eyes*

  6. LaToya
    July 3, 2013 at 4:57 pm — Reply

    Your cousin huh??!! Thank you for that bit of science Luvvie. But I am happy for her and her new fella they are too cute together!

    An everlasting wallslide for “Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes” iCAN”T with you today…you need to pray..LMBO!!!

    • RavenJ
      July 3, 2013 at 8:33 pm — Reply

      Yeah that real Gs got me as well

  7. Kisha
    July 3, 2013 at 4:59 pm — Reply

    So that’s why Asomugha couldn’t catch a damn thing in Philly?? I guess when you have Olivia Pope to comfort you at home, why bother. Congrats to them!

  8. Max
    July 3, 2013 at 4:59 pm — Reply

    She’s my cousin too. At least by half since I’m half Naija.

    • Gracie
      July 5, 2013 at 11:35 am — Reply

      Me too Max, me too. Half-sies!

  9. Tamara
    July 3, 2013 at 5:07 pm — Reply

    DNR!! That gif….

  10. Brittainny
    July 3, 2013 at 5:08 pm — Reply

    I just worked 13 hours and I read this and it just gave me life.

  11. Stephen
    July 3, 2013 at 5:19 pm — Reply

    Shout out to Kerry for becoming our newest cousin. Lol. Stand Up Naija!!!

  12. July 3, 2013 at 5:20 pm — Reply

    That roundabout though, ha, and the court shoes with house girl style wrapper and gele. I am finished. I dropped my damn spliff when I saw that shit. So Kerry baby is now our inlaw. #NaijaRunTinz #WeNoDeyCarryLast #CertifiedGbam #OmoPopeness

    • Dee
      July 3, 2013 at 5:37 pm — Reply

      LOL@omopopeness!!
      Hope they had some jellof rice and malt on deck at the reception.. Lol

  13. Dee
    July 3, 2013 at 5:28 pm — Reply

    Danggggg she is the queen of private! I didn’t know she was dating a high profile celeb. She is my privacy sHero.

  14. shecakes
    July 3, 2013 at 5:32 pm — Reply

    Your blogs give me life! The gifs are just icing to every cake lmao. Congrats to the newlyweds !

  15. Embraceurcrazy
    July 3, 2013 at 5:32 pm — Reply

    Congrats Luvvie’s cousin Kerry!! She don’t even know what she done did. Naija everything.

  16. KemaB
    July 3, 2013 at 5:36 pm — Reply

    Dead at IncogNaija and that GIF I can’t wit Luvvie. Shout out to Kerry for keeping her business private take note Kimye’s of the world

  17. d jones
    July 3, 2013 at 5:39 pm — Reply

    Your article is awesomely written. Great fun reading at the end of the work day.

  18. Sunny
    July 3, 2013 at 5:44 pm — Reply

    Don’t your cousin AdeKerry and my cousin Janet have FOUR secrets marriages between them? Janet had three–James DeBarge, Rene Elizondo, and whoever she married in 2010 and we just found out about it last week?

  19. July 3, 2013 at 5:47 pm — Reply

    OHHHHHHHH LAWD!!!!!!!!! JESUSSSSSSSS!!! If you are real, let this be false. **rolls across room** **hits wall* **rolls back** **falls down stairs** **wails like her last Biscoff fell in a puddle of dirty New York rain water**

    • Ready
      July 5, 2013 at 3:38 am — Reply

      Yes Lawd, Biscoff! I would wail if mine fell into a puddle of dirty New York water too.

  20. July 3, 2013 at 5:51 pm — Reply

    I died at “AdeKerry OluWashington”. LOL!
    -From another African (Togolese) sis who can totally relate. Semi-long-time follower, first time commenter.

  21. MissE
    July 3, 2013 at 5:53 pm — Reply

    iCant. Luvvie you are comedic genius.

  22. Sticky-n-Sweet
    July 3, 2013 at 6:09 pm — Reply

    And now the Washington/Asomugha babies must be doctors/lawyers/engineers…it’s only Naija.

  23. Esque
    July 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm — Reply

    That gif gets me every time XD!!! And I only seen it on your blog…. Where is it from though… I’d love to see the entire clip!!!

    • Esque
      July 3, 2013 at 6:17 pm — Reply

      *crying laughing* I done found the video, and it has me in TEARS!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTq1JxhdyTM

      • Adaobi
        July 3, 2013 at 9:00 pm — Reply

        OMG. Thank you! This for days! Need to have done this at Cousin Kerry’s wedding :-)

      • July 3, 2013 at 9:22 pm — Reply

        “This malt is good-o” LOL YES!

        She was gettin’ it!

    • Katori
      July 7, 2013 at 11:51 am — Reply

      Esque, thank you for posting vid link. The gift that keepeth giving :-D

  24. America
    July 3, 2013 at 6:16 pm — Reply

    Omgoodness this was hilarious!!!lol congrats to her!

  25. July 3, 2013 at 6:23 pm — Reply

    Sunny – I’m not sure if Janet’s marriage to James Debarge was a secret like the next two were.

    Luvvie – You kill me, I swear. If the man was Ghanaian, I would blatantly research the day of the week that Kerry was born and re-Christen her!

    • HoneyFromGH
      July 8, 2013 at 1:41 am — Reply

      lmaoo we woulda named her Naakerry AkuaWashington

  26. ChunkyDlyte
    July 3, 2013 at 7:02 pm — Reply

    I am so DEAD at damn gif! LOL! You always slay me! Sooooo happy for our girl Kerry and now I want a fine (and rich) Nigerian husband too, not sure what I am going to with the regular black one that I already got, lol.

    P.S.–I need that gif for the guilty verdict I hope to hear for the Zimmerman trial! You know we need our Luvvie to help us cope or celebrate depending on the verdict!

  27. The Italian
    July 3, 2013 at 8:00 pm — Reply

    He looks like a gremlin! Why !Kerry why !? He should’ve been a white guy. Yep! I’m hating.

  28. TiffBLA
    July 3, 2013 at 9:21 pm — Reply

    “Please send your comments of hateration to my dancerie’s feedback box.”
    Luvvie, I must quit you today… LOL!!

  29. TeeNikki
    July 3, 2013 at 10:52 pm — Reply

    I thought you would’ve hit a Brother Franklin!! LMBO

  30. Vky
    July 3, 2013 at 10:57 pm — Reply

    Congrats Sister Kerry! And it’s NneKerry not OmoKerry!!! Luvvie na Igbo she marry no be Yoruba!!! Laugh out loud!

  31. tammy
    July 4, 2013 at 2:02 am — Reply

    Tee hee hee! That GIF gets me EVERY TIME!!!!! @Ms. AdeKerry OluWashington…that’s how it’s done sis! LOVE IT!

  32. […] blogger even went as far to rechristen her AdeKerry OluWashington Omo Asomugha. Naija no dey carry last! […]

  33. Egbon
    July 4, 2013 at 8:47 am — Reply

    Haha, Cousin Indeed

  34. Ify
    July 4, 2013 at 10:30 am — Reply

    The Gif has me laughing in tears. If that is the formula you are using then Kerry, You and I are all Cousins. I’m full bloodied Nigerian and I’m so excited for Kerry and Nnamdi. I wish the two so much happiness and love and cute little babies.

  35. Jabari
    July 4, 2013 at 1:10 pm — Reply

    Luvvie, that roundabout .gif #WIN

    Congrats Kerry!!!! Get yo man girl!!!

    And Luvvie, when you find out if Nnamdi has a brother, find out if there’s a cousin, nephew or young uncle that’s out the closet. I’m inquiring. Also for a friend. #sexymf

  36. Ezi
    July 4, 2013 at 1:33 pm — Reply

    Funny you posted that GIF of my sis dancing LOL. I’m going to show her this post.

  37. For These Reasons
    July 4, 2013 at 1:57 pm — Reply

    Like Cognac.
    This G is silent and smooth like silk.
    Congrats Kerry!

  38. Katori
    July 7, 2013 at 11:48 am — Reply

    “Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes.” and the roundabout GIF…
    Luvvie, the mighty creators were real happy and in a humorous mood when they made YOU! Congrats Kerry & Nnamdi.

  39. […] on this newest episode, we also talk about Kerry Washington getting married, Scott’s son ending up on a giant billboard without him knowing and the foolishness that […]

  40. […] Pope, though. And I REALLY wanted her to win because I’m a Gladiator and I love her and she’s my cousin (sharrap and lemme live). So that already made me mad. But I ain’t gon piss on Claire […]

  41. […] it months ago. My cousin by marriage to a stranger who just happens to be Nigerian like I am, Kerry Washington, is pregnant with her first child. I am so excited and our family have so much to be thankful for […]

  42. April 20, 2014 at 10:16 am — Reply

    Kerry you are wack and fake and you don’t deserve Nnamdi at all….Now your are so called with him you want to represent the African culture,,,,, stick to what you know and that is your white men with your cornball self

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