Kerry Washington Got Married and is Now My Cousin

[ 53 ] July 3, 2013 |

Imagine my surprise when I found out this afternoon that Kerry Washington, aka Olivia Pope got married on June 24th! YESSSS! Miss Kerry (baby) is a wedded woman, and she tied the knot to football player Nnamdi Asomugha, according to E! Online.

Kerry Washington Nnamdi Asomugha

Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images, Jason Kempin/WireImage

You know I don’t watch football but that name had a familiar ring to my ears. HE IS NIGERIAN! Kerry found her a Naija boy to settle down with, therefore she is a Naija girl by marriage. Therefore SHE IS MY COUSIN! a + b = c.

It’s science! Science. Therefore, I shall refer to her henceforth as Cousin Kerry. Please send your comments of hateration to my dancerie’s feedback box. Don’t be mad because you won’t be invited to holiday dinner with the family. We’ll show you pictures afterwards. (-_-).

Welcome to the family o, AdeKerry OluWashington Omo Asomugha. We will drink some palm wine and eat fufu and egusi stew in honor of this wonderful occasion.

But yessss, CONGRATS KERRY! I really love how incogNAIJA she was with this. We didn’t even know she was dating anyone, let alone engaged. And when she dipped off to Idaho (yes, really), no one knew. And I ain’t mad at her for it. Get your happiness, girl.

Had I been at their reception, I’da hit my roundabout like this:

African woman dancing gif

It’s serious matter.

I need her and Janet Jackson to come out with a book called “Minding My Business: Famous and Private.” Between them, they have THREE secret weddings. This is proof that you CAN maintain some semblance of privacy if you’re a celebrity. I’m just saying. It might be harder for some than others but it’s not impossible. Why? Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes.

Kerry Washington is winning 2013. She’s also on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, and is the first Black woman to do so in SIX years.

Vanity Fair Kerry Washington

The chick is flawless, looking like “YES, GAWD!” with a side of “COME ON, SOMEBODY!” I’m so HERE for KWash!

I wish Kerry and Nnamdi happiness. And adorable babies. If not, at least cute dogs to dote over.

So whatcha’ll gon get my cousin, AdeKerry, for this special occasion? You know we got high standards in my family. Come correct with gifts!

P.S. Does Nnamdi have a brother? I’m asking. For a friend. O_o

P.P.S. For those of you who need receipts, check out their marriage certificate on E! online.

P.P.P.S. I could not help myself. I had to do a BAD photoshop job of Kerry in gele (headtie). You are welcome! Pin it and share it far and wide.

And shoutout to Tiwa Lawrence for the original photo of the bride in this gele. The pic is gorgeous, by the way.

Kerry Washington in Gele


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Category: Famous folks

Comments (53)

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  1. ScarletGal says:

    Congrats to Ms. Washington/ Mrs Asomugha! If only O. Pope could be this fortunate in love…

    Luvvie…your gif collection is…well, it just IS.

    iDied watching mama break it down in those heels without spilling a drop.

    We’re done here. That is all.

  2. Natasha says:

    I love you lil ole’ crazy lady! I thank you for consistently giving me a good laugh, smile, cry….or a wicked combination of all three! <3 You rock black girl!

  3. April says:

    Shut the front door!! She married my husband in my dreams? First he leaves my team and now he goes on and gets married. I am going to mourn for a bit..

  4. Quetta says:

    Man that roundabout is everything!!! C’mon wit it…c’mooooooon!!!

  5. Fayla says:

    OMG that gif! L M A O!!!!!!

    Congrats Cousin Kerry & hubby. Hurry up & getcho romance on so Olivia will be refreshed & ready for the fall *googly eyes*

  6. LaToya says:

    Your cousin huh??!! Thank you for that bit of science Luvvie. But I am happy for her and her new fella they are too cute together!

    An everlasting wallslide for “Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes” iCAN”T with you today…you need to pray..LMBO!!!

  7. Kisha says:

    So that’s why Asomugha couldn’t catch a damn thing in Philly?? I guess when you have Olivia Pope to comfort you at home, why bother. Congrats to them!

  8. Max says:

    She’s my cousin too. At least by half since I’m half Naija.

  9. Tamara says:

    DNR!! That gif….

  10. Brittainny says:

    I just worked 13 hours and I read this and it just gave me life.

  11. Stephen says:

    Shout out to Kerry for becoming our newest cousin. Lol. Stand Up Naija!!!

  12. Abi says:

    That roundabout though, ha, and the court shoes with house girl style wrapper and gele. I am finished. I dropped my damn spliff when I saw that shit. So Kerry baby is now our inlaw. #NaijaRunTinz #WeNoDeyCarryLast #CertifiedGbam #OmoPopeness

  13. Dee says:

    Danggggg she is the queen of private! I didn’t know she was dating a high profile celeb. She is my privacy sHero.

  14. shecakes says:

    Your blogs give me life! The gifs are just icing to every cake lmao. Congrats to the newlyweds !

  15. Embraceurcrazy says:

    Congrats Luvvie’s cousin Kerry!! She don’t even know what she done did. Naija everything.

  16. KemaB says:

    Dead at IncogNaija and that GIF I can’t wit Luvvie. Shout out to Kerry for keeping her business private take note Kimye’s of the world

  17. d jones says:

    Your article is awesomely written. Great fun reading at the end of the work day.

  18. Sunny says:

    Don’t your cousin AdeKerry and my cousin Janet have FOUR secrets marriages between them? Janet had three–James DeBarge, Rene Elizondo, and whoever she married in 2010 and we just found out about it last week?

  19. OHHHHHHHH LAWD!!!!!!!!! JESUSSSSSSSS!!! If you are real, let this be false. **rolls across room** **hits wall* **rolls back** **falls down stairs** **wails like her last Biscoff fell in a puddle of dirty New York rain water**

  20. Assaba says:

    I died at “AdeKerry OluWashington”. LOL!
    -From another African (Togolese) sis who can totally relate. Semi-long-time follower, first time commenter.

  21. MissE says:

    iCant. Luvvie you are comedic genius.

  22. Sticky-n-Sweet says:

    And now the Washington/Asomugha babies must be doctors/lawyers/engineers…it’s only Naija.

  23. Esque says:

    That gif gets me every time XD!!! And I only seen it on your blog…. Where is it from though… I’d love to see the entire clip!!!

  24. America says:

    Omgoodness this was hilarious!!!lol congrats to her!

  25. Wendi B says:

    Sunny – I’m not sure if Janet’s marriage to James Debarge was a secret like the next two were.

    Luvvie – You kill me, I swear. If the man was Ghanaian, I would blatantly research the day of the week that Kerry was born and re-Christen her!

  26. ChunkyDlyte says:

    I am so DEAD at damn gif! LOL! You always slay me! Sooooo happy for our girl Kerry and now I want a fine (and rich) Nigerian husband too, not sure what I am going to with the regular black one that I already got, lol.

    P.S.–I need that gif for the guilty verdict I hope to hear for the Zimmerman trial! You know we need our Luvvie to help us cope or celebrate depending on the verdict!

  27. The Italian says:

    He looks like a gremlin! Why !Kerry why !? He should’ve been a white guy. Yep! I’m hating.

  28. TiffBLA says:

    “Please send your comments of hateration to my dancerie’s feedback box.”
    Luvvie, I must quit you today… LOL!!

  29. TeeNikki says:

    I thought you would’ve hit a Brother Franklin!! LMBO

  30. Vky says:

    Congrats Sister Kerry! And it’s NneKerry not OmoKerry!!! Luvvie na Igbo she marry no be Yoruba!!! Laugh out loud!

  31. tammy says:

    Tee hee hee! That GIF gets me EVERY TIME!!!!! @Ms. AdeKerry OluWashington…that’s how it’s done sis! LOVE IT!

  32. Egbon says:

    Haha, Cousin Indeed

  33. Ify says:

    The Gif has me laughing in tears. If that is the formula you are using then Kerry, You and I are all Cousins. I’m full bloodied Nigerian and I’m so excited for Kerry and Nnamdi. I wish the two so much happiness and love and cute little babies.

  34. Jabari says:

    Luvvie, that roundabout .gif #WIN

    Congrats Kerry!!!! Get yo man girl!!!

    And Luvvie, when you find out if Nnamdi has a brother, find out if there’s a cousin, nephew or young uncle that’s out the closet. I’m inquiring. Also for a friend. #sexymf

  35. Ezi says:

    Funny you posted that GIF of my sis dancing LOL. I’m going to show her this post.

  36. For These Reasons says:

    Like Cognac.
    This G is silent and smooth like silk.
    Congrats Kerry!

  37. Katori says:

    “Because real Gs move in silence like gnats and gnomes.” and the roundabout GIF…
    Luvvie, the mighty creators were real happy and in a humorous mood when they made YOU! Congrats Kerry & Nnamdi.

  38. Fancy says:

    Kerry you are wack and fake and you don’t deserve Nnamdi at all….Now your are so called with him you want to represent the African culture,,,,, stick to what you know and that is your white men with your cornball self

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