TV

I Got 20 Questions About the LHHATL Season 2 Finale

Last night was the season 2 finale of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, and I hate to see them leave. I’m not ready. But all ratchet things must come to a seasonal end so yeah. Let’s just get right to it. I haz questions.

LHHATL gif

1. Why is Joseline trying to make fetch happen with Stevie J with this engagement? I’m so doggone disappointed. And why did his “you’re so special to me” face look like constipation? Probably because they’re both so full of shit.

2. What kinda voodoo does Stevie do to make Joseline buy him a ring, propose AND kiss his hand? Wayment. Don’t answer that. I already know. Because behind every Aint Shit dude is good peen. This is science.

3. Why did I go “aaawwww” when I saw the girls together painting Rasheeda’s baby room? Too cute. This must be the first time none of them are in bodycon dresses when they’re together.

4. Why was Scrappy talmbout how rehab was hell when he could make his own eggs and bacon? Sir, for some that is luxury. Also, why was Scrappy blaming his mama and everyone else for his weed habit? He needs to take some ACCOUNTABIZNAYEE!

I just wanted to use this GIF of Momma Dee sipping wine  with a straw.

5. Why is K.Michelle moving to New York City? Well, to be on Love and Hip Hop NY, which many of us weren’t here for. Good for her, though. She talmbout “it’s all about safe sex and paychecks.” Yes, girl. That’s my life motto too. (-__-)

6. Why was Joseline so geeked to tell the ladies that she proposed to Stevie? As if they won’t side-eye her to death.

7. For someone with no neck, how does Spongebob Benzino have such deep throat nerves? Dude met up with Stevie while sitting next to a low budget Mimi. He’s such a loser.

8. Who told Kirk that a car full of gifts would make Rasheeda take him back? Oh yea, it was BenziNAWL. Dude rolled up to her house with a Range Rover with toys, expecting his sins to be forgiven. Jesus forgives and the rest of us hold grudges. She shoulda been all:

Joseline Ho Why You Here

But I’m glad to see Rasheeda tell him “thanks but no thanks.” You can’t be using your peen like a groupon deal if you’re married!

AND that negro had on a hat with his Twitter name on it. NAWL. Just for that, he’ont get no love ever.

9. Who can blame Ariane and Erica for going to Mimi with the news of Joseline being maybe engaged to Steebie? I’da done the same thing because I support that type of snitching. Shoo… Also, I’ma wait til Mimi’s new boobies drop before commenting on what they look like. But it seems they might be nice.

10. Why is Karlie Redd a mess? Talking about her and K.Michelle’s reuniting: “All it took was two grown ass women sitting down like two adults.” Her super power is redundancy.

11. Why am I so proud of K.Michelle? The chick is clearly growing, to be able to sit down with Rasheeda and apologize for her past wrongs. *sings* “Look at me. Look. At. MEEEEE. I AM CHANGING. Trying every way I can. I am changing. I’ll be better than I am.” Go on, girl!

12. Why didn’t Joseline cunt punt the gift that Benzino gave her across the room? You don’t create a video saying you “smashed the homie” when you didn’t and then apologize with some cheap ass chocolates. That ain’t part of the game! She shoulda been up there like this:

Joseline Angry Sip gif

13. When I saw “DAY 26” flash on the screen right now, why was I was expecting a shirtless Willie to bodyroll across my TV? Turns out they were talmbout how many days Scrappy had been in rehab.

14. Why was I all touched when Scrappy was telling Erica how much he loved her and how he wants them to give the engagement another try? He really looked like he meant it too. Too bad Erica was done. You don’t take 11 years to figure out what you want. When you take a while to figure out what you really want is us, you give us a chance to figure out you weren’t what WE need. So… OOP. Erica gave him the ring back and he looked like he was bout to CRIZNYEE!

15. Why did Stevie think he was in a Babyface video from 1995 with that white piano and rose petals on the floor? Dude was even tinkering the keys and talking in a low voice when he saw Joseline. BOOOOOO!!!

Stevie LHHATL

16. How Aint Shit can Stevie get? Well, we keep seeing deeper levels that we probably didn’t realize existed. Who proposes to his girl and then gifts the mother of his baby a ring at the same time?!? STEVIE “WORST DUDE ON EARTH” J. That’s who.

17. Why was I CRACKING up at Mimi’s cackles? She was thoroughly enjoying Joseline wilding out on Stevie and I was thoroughly loving it all. “Who’s the maid now?” JOSELINE HERNANDEZ! *Mimi cackles* *toasts to the douchebags and assholes*

18. Why did Mona and her team act like the final scene of the season was The Notebook? They used all this dark lighting and slow shots.

19. Did anyone notice that certain folks didn’t get a final say? Karlie Redd and Kirk were left out of the festivities there, further proving their wackness. Also, Traci and Drew got a wrap up and I didn’t e’em remember they were on the show. Yeah, because Baby Bop and BJ’s storyline was really boring.

20. Why hasn’t VH1 come out with a drinking game called “At the end of the day” yet? Watching their reality TV shows, we’d be drunk 5 minutes in. And if I got a dollar for every time the phrase was used last night, I probably could buy me some nice shoes.

Next week is the LHHATL reunion and you KNOW I’m ready for that. I need to find out if Joseline kept up her “fuck love” thing after Stevie humiliated her like everyone knew he would (she didn’t. Word is they’re married). Did Scrappy stay off the WEEZNYEED? Did Momma Dee ever audition to play Scar in the Lion King on the chitlin circuit like her destiny predicts?

All this and more will be answered next week. I cannot wait!

Did y’all watch last night? Whatchu think?

P.S. I have a Joseline gif for many situations that life calls for. Of this, I am proud.

Bye Bitch gif

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46 Comments

  1. Tanisha
    July 30, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Ok I have been waiting for your thoughts you slay me each time Luvvie. Girl you are a mess and a half. Babyface video whaaattt bahahhaha. What was Scrappy doing with them 2 pushups he proceeded to do, and what they dont have barbers in rehab, dude look like he was on a muslim pilgrimage for real. Chilllee thank you for being my entertain of the week!!!

    • 3d2002
      July 31, 2013 at 10:38 am

      In Scrappy’s defense of his “two” push ups, did you see dude at the end at a concert performing, he was thick and cut up, I had to sit up and rewind it to see him again, I’ve never really been a Scrappy fan but he was looking scrumptious at the end of the finale. IJS!

  2. SassyDahl
    July 30, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    Yes Luvvie! Your gif game is proper. Just a few notes to clarify: K. Michelle isn’t all “changing my life” on her own. The record label told her she has to stop the physical altercations. They also advised her that they wanted a revamp of her image to fans.

    Joseline and Stevie aka Splinter: wedding fake, more Mona puppet strings. Bonus: Chey Mack wouldn’t sleep with Stevie J. at Mona’s request so bloop! Off the show.
    Scrappy iCannot and iWillnot. Ditto his trashy Mama with those falls from Hell’s Beauty Supply.

    Rasheeda and Kirk: fake. Entire storyline contrived and I read that piece long ago s/o Michelle Brown @atlien. In the spirit of giving credit to bloggers. Plagiarism should be a serious crime.

  3. Chelly
    July 30, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Girl! Not only was that a cheap box of chocolates, but it was from Barnes and Noble! I be knowing that loud ass plastic bag with the Kindle on it from anywhere!! (lolol) That young sir stopped by the bookstore to pick up some inspiration for his pending autobiography, “If I Only Had A Neck,” and picked up those Godiva chocolates by the register. He ain’t even fooling nobody!!

    • Sunshine
      July 30, 2013 at 4:44 pm

      Wait… you saw that too? I was too done with him!

    • July 31, 2013 at 11:24 pm

      I saw that and said “HELLA FAIL!” Barnes and Noble…really? smh

  4. Justlikehoney1
    July 30, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    So Karlie Redd, Traci & Erica painted the nursery for Rasheeda’s baby while dolled up & in a full face of make-up? And Rasheeda sat in a freshly painted room full of paint fumes while having a casual convo with them? Really? *insert side-eye with cheese here*

    Arianne & Erica were shocked @ how pleasant Joseline was. Not shocked that K. Michelle was cool with her, though O_o All of them have sketchy loyalty. I’m not hanging out with the bitch that was fucking one of my best friend’s man while they were still together. Nope.

    Kirk’s apology is so insincere. Zero remorse. He seems more annoyed that his wife has the audacity not to take him right back. He’s a clown! He apologizes with deflated balloons in hand one minute & then blames her in the next sentence. Where is Rasheeda’s mama to handle his ass?! Kirk needs to first issue a sincere & heartfelt apology to his wife & their son. That 13 year old boy is watching him like a hawk. Next, get back in good with Rasheeda’s mama cus his wife is tight with her & she listens to her. Lastly, EVERY gesture he does HAS to be done on a grand scale. If he was gonna start with balloons, there shoulda been so many that they had to be delivered in a van or truck. Have a meaningful mural painted on the wall in the nursery. Etc. GRAND scale gestures. Period. He’s doing the bare minimum.

    Benzino, that absent-neck knee grow, gave them a box of chocolates as an “apology”. I hollered! Russell Stover from Walgreen’s game proper

    • July 30, 2013 at 7:25 pm

      “Where is Rasheeda’s mama to handle his ass?!”

      LMAO…Yes, I love Rasheeda’s Momma. I need to contract her out to run over a couple of people I know LOL!!!

  5. Elle
    July 30, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    Did you notice how they changed Scrappy’s name to Darryl cuz he a changed man now? Chile I guess.

  6. Chiedza
    July 30, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Those gifs!!! Well that piano scene reminded me of Season 1 when Stevie played it for Mimi whilst he attempted to sing some wack song..

  7. Dorita
    July 30, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Allll your Joseline Gif’s give me life and a reason to actualy LOL!! Much love,
    D.

  8. Jabari
    July 30, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    Nooooo….I’m not ready for the Lifestyles of the Ratch & Pseudo-Famous to end #FetalPosition

    Stevie J, Kirk the Jerk and Benzino (witcho no-neck having ass): Jesus weeps for your ain’t shitness

    Joseline: welcome to basic bish-ville….

    Scrap: No dear heart, just no….

    Rasheeda and K. Michelle: I’m proud of y’all…you all are doíng better with life…

    And Luvvie, once again, you don’t want me to have nice things, but it’s OK….I still love you tho ;->

  9. Jazzy
    July 30, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    iDied reading this and iLived for Mimi’s cackles!!!!
    That Momma Dee gif is the WURST!!!!

  10. Raine
    July 30, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    I hate ALL of you! LMAO @ the recap and these comments.

  11. Michelle
    July 30, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    I think Stevie and Kirk suffer from some kind of traumatic brain injury.

  12. July 30, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    Lol love your recaps. Man listen, Joseline Hernandez crazy as hell but I love her! I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. Steebie a wild dude. But Mimi ain’t have to enjoy that proposal like that lmaooo

    • July 30, 2013 at 7:44 pm

      When you say proposal, do you mean the initiation into the LPG?!?

      Joseline kept asking Steebie “Are We Engaged, Is This Our Bond?” And the only thing he says is “Do You Like The Ring?” Once Joseline gave up on him answering her question, she responds “Yes, I Like The Ring.” Steebie, AKA, HALPG (Head As*h*le of the Lifetime Partner Gang) turns to Mimi and says “Now You!!!”

      LMAO a million lifetimes over. This can’t be life!!!

  13. July 30, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    I was trying to figure out who Karlie Redd looks like then it hit me —> http://www.imdb.com/media/rm28416256/ch0013421

    • Jabari
      July 31, 2013 at 6:57 pm

      You have no couth and I am here for it all!!!!

      Bwahhahaahahahahaaahahaaha!!!!

    • TawannaS
      August 1, 2013 at 4:03 am

      I CAN NOT!! *DIES*

  14. Kwan
    July 30, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Chile Karlie stay repeating the obvious “He gave her a diamond necklace…with real diamonds” Oh Really?!?! -_-. ‘At the end of the day’ lol Mimi is still the maid. Why even come if the ish has nothing to do with my child I’m not dealing with you and she clearly still depends on him financially in some way, but her and Joseline both lose.

    Kirk is THE WORST! Anyone who has THE GALL to stitch their twitter handle on clothing and wear it on National tv is stamped ain’t shxt in my book.

    LMAO at Mona shading the lames with not giving them a season end rap up.

  15. Sunshine
    July 30, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    Yesssss!!! Luvvie!!! Yasssssss!
    Why hasn’t someone told Scar… I mean Moms

    • Sunshine
      July 30, 2013 at 8:09 pm

      Pardon my premature post…
      *Momma Dee that a kingdom cannot consist of a 2 bedroom apartment and her front yard? Garden gnomes aren’t your security, they’re lawn ornaments.

      Why do I feel like Erica is going to be back with Scrappy… I mean Darryl again?

      Has anyone noticed that Erica was with Scrappy (Darryl) for 11 years and Mimi has been with Splinter…Stevie for 14 yet her daughter is about 4? You mean to tell me that in the 10 previous years, you didn’t know that Stebie was no good? And Erica, how long did it take for you to get pregnant cause that girl is almost 11.

      Can someone please teach Little Imani how to pronounce her name? Lawd the diction on this show kills me.

      Those are my questions so far… I may have more!

      • missjai
        July 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm

        Why hasn’t someone told Scar… I mean Momma Dee that a kingdom cannot consist of a 2 bedroom apartment and her front yard?

        I love it!

      • RavenJ
        July 30, 2013 at 10:22 pm

        Wait…so the baby’s name is not E-Money? Werd??? Oh okay…

        • 3d2002
          July 31, 2013 at 10:44 am

          I thought her name was Emoni’, not Imani. Let me go do some research.

        • Sunshine
          July 31, 2013 at 10:54 pm

          Lol! They slay me every time they pronounce that poor baby’s name!

      • Kwan
        July 31, 2013 at 11:20 am

        Erica said she had Emani when they were young. So at least her putting up with all that foolishness makes more sense then Mimi dealing with Fivo for 10 straight years then deciding I’m gonna deal with him for 18 more -_-.

      • Jabari
        July 31, 2013 at 7:17 pm

        So wait…

        Not only did Mimi waste 10 years of her good life on Stevie J’s ain’t shit peen, this fool cosigned a baby with his ass to basically keep his ain’t shit peen around?

        But…I mean…I jus….FOR WHY THO??!?!?!?!?!?

  16. July 30, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    I really believe Steebie’s character is a MYTH. This HAS to be made-up. No other reality show have characters like LHHA!! This have to be scripted by the guys from MAD TV or something.

    For real, I didn’t think I was going to see another fight like that since Joseline starting punching Steebie like a dude during the therapy session at the end of season 1.

    Wait is this a repeat?? End of season 1, Mimi, Joseline and Steebie together in an awkward situation. Joseline ends up beating the sh&t out of Steebie and Mimi is smirking and cackling.

    Now season 2, Mimi, Joseline and Steebie back together again (in another awkward situation) and Joseline ends up swinging on him AGAIN (including security AGAIN)and Mimi is cackling up a fool!!!

    I wonder if there could even be a more awkward situation they can put those three together again in Season 3!!

    • Lenore
      July 31, 2013 at 10:56 am

      Yes Steebie is just as gross and as*hole-ish in real life. Search This is the Read w/ Kid Fury and Crissle for an interview with him. Also Kid Fury has a video about the extreme nastiness and foolishness that went on during the taping. Stevie J is a fungus on the underbelly of life.

    • Jabari
      July 31, 2013 at 7:19 pm

      Watch JoHe and Mimi the Moron gon be pregnant at the same damb time next season….

  17. July 30, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    I weak laughing at ACCOUNTABIZNAYEE. And “her super power is redundancy” also has me in tears. The Joseline gifs are the icing on the cake. Hilarious post!

  18. angel b
    July 30, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    I have to disagree. I believe stevie is that way its called Npd narcissism and i dated one. He did the most and thought it was cool because he was getting a little bit of money. Lol im so glad i let that go

  19. RavenJ
    July 30, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    Sooo…I know this is from last week, but are we really going to overlook Joseline’s “music” video? A few questions…was she speaking English? Are they serious about Joseline having a career (in music)? And was Joseline really born a female…like for real for real?

  20. Mrs. H
    July 30, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    I truly hate the “C” word, but did you really say “cunt punt”? BEST use of the “C” word ever! At the end of the day, I’m gonna need life support after reading this!

  21. Kingda
    July 31, 2013 at 4:50 am

    The craziest thing about the K.Michelle apology is that it wasn’t even warranted! Rasheeda should have been the one apologizing for riding for Toya’s man harder than she ever rode for her own. But since K has a new album coming out (on a REAL label) and Rasheeda is still pushing her struggle mixtapes, I guess K felt like she could afford to be the bigger person.

    • Kwan
      July 31, 2013 at 11:26 am

      OMG YES! I would not have even giving her an apology because K’s hostility was all in response to her dipping her opinion in where it wasn’t warranted. You don’t tell a woman she is lying about something like that especially if you don’t even know the man simply b/c he JUST married one of your friends.

    • Jill
      July 31, 2013 at 11:30 am

      STRUGGLE MIXTAPES! I’ll be laughing all day! Thank you!

  22. ANGEL
    July 31, 2013 at 7:40 am

    BABY BOP = Tracy!! lmfao!

  23. yadi
    July 31, 2013 at 8:42 am

    why, whyyyy did u have to use the Scrappy lingo? I nearly choked on this dry a** granola bar. Lawd, even Erica gives him the side-eye when goes to talking that mess. iHowl!!!

  24. Lenore
    July 31, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Luvvie boo I can’t have you out here like this

    ~I need to find out if Joseline kept up her “fuck love” thing after Stevie humiliated her like everyone knew he would (she didn’t. Word is their married)~

    *they’re*

  25. July 31, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    HI-LAR-I-OUS!!

  26. Ms Huntley
    July 31, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    “When I saw “DAY 26″ flash on the screen right now, why was I was expecting a shirtless Willie to bodyroll across my TV?”
    FLATLINED!!!! I don’t even watch the show , but this had me dying!! LOL!

  27. danny
    August 1, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Stop the presses. Who’s married, it bet not be Hoseline and Steebie. Any respect I had…. (Which was none) would be in the negatives. You let this man (and i use that loosely) disrespect you multiple times, and all is forgiven. Chile no.

    They could have kept this finale except for hJoseline part. Mimi cackles was HIGHlaruous and they tried to make it seem like they were in the same room

  28. Keshia
    August 4, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    I’m diznaydead