Last night’s episode of RHOA had Kenya looking a fool as usual, Porsha in an alter-ego wig and Kandi’s mama Joyce doing the most with the least. And we got an education in how serious fibroids can be from Cynthia’s struggle. Let’s get into it!
Paparazzi Princess – Kenya emerges from the courthouse having won the lawsuit against the landlord who evicted her. She was met by 3 paparazzi people that Bravo clearly hired and then did a pitiful interview with them.
Our girl is so delusional that she gushed about being popular but no one curr!
No Allowance Allowed - Porsha has moved in with her mama, whose lacefront and babyhair ain’t gon give the people peace! Chile… anywho. Apparently, her trifling ass husband, Kordell, reneged on his promise to give her allowance when they were married and she’d have to borrow money from her mother. 50 shades of hot mess.
Kenya Callout - Nene meets up with Kenya who is STILL butthurt about Walter being at the Leakes wedding. Ma’am, cry us all a river, build a bridge and throw your salty over it. Nene says “I’ve had many exes in the rooms I’ve been in. That’s when you REALLY twirl.” YES!!! Duh!
The topic gets on Phaedra and Kenya denies she was being appropriate with Apollo through text messages. Lenethia tells her that’s what she was insinuating. Look. I’m loving Nene so murch right now! Also relevant: did Kenya Moore get cheek implants or injections??? She was looking like Alvin and the Chipmunk about the face. Like she was smuggling acorns in her cheeks. NO MA’AM!
Fibroids – Cynthia is having a rough time because she has fibroids and it’s turning her life upside down. She just signed with a new agency but the fibroids are making her stomach protrude. Folks think she’s pregnant because of it and she’s really affected by it. Meanwhile, Peter is being an insensitive jerk about it, laughing at her tears and offering no comforting words. I wanted to throat punch him.
Girl Talk – The ladies (with the exception of Kenya and Nene) meet up at Kandi’s house and Porsha shows up rocking a short wig. Phaedra notices that she has a small head and says “Small heads mean little brains.” That lady is unable to shade. LOL! They talk about Kenya Less’ texts to Apollo, which included how she wanted to do things his wife won’t. She gotta understand that her quest for fame is gon get her ass whooped. Keep texting someone else’s husband…
Apollo’s Attitude - Phaedra’s house is still under construction, even though they’re living in it. Iunno who ordered a Pier 1 catalog and made Apollo an interior designer but he thinks their pool table should live in the middle of the living room. Sir, BYE. Antywho, when Phaedra talks about how she needs more help around the house, homeboy rolls his eyes and rolls out. If Tommy from Martin don’t cut that out!
Appointment - Peter drives Cynthia to an appointment with a specialist to see what can be done about her fibroids and he continues to be empathy-deficient. That dude sat in the doctor’s office talmbout how she’s lucky he’s not a selfish husband since she hasn’t been able to YANSH him lately. THIS AINT BOUT YOU, SIR!!! The woman was bleeding so much that she had to change her tampons/pads every 45 minutes. Why should she be thinking bout sexing you? SIR, BYE!
Anywho, doctor gives her good news that they can remove the fibroids without her having to get a hysterectomy.
Lying and the AID - Nene gets all the ladies together to iron out the tension between Kenya and Phaedra. The moment she opens her mouth, Ms. Less starts lying like sand talmbout she never text Apollo anything inappropriate. The devil is a LAH, madame! When Porsha calls her out for being shady, Kenya called her stupid under her breath and Kordell’s ex goes off! “LOOK! I’m going through a gahtdamb divorce! I don’t have to be here.” Po’ tink is touched. But what made me cackle in this scene is when Phaedra said that Kenya insinuated that her and Apollo have AIDS because of the comment she made about them getting tested since he just got out of prison. Nene clutches her pearls and goes “THE AID?!?” LMAO! Not “The AID” though. Petty story short, nothing really got accomplished besides the confirmation that Kenya Moore is a trifling never to the trusted bitty.
Siamese Cats - Porsha is moving some of her stuff into her mama’s house and she somehow managed to get her to give her the master suite. You’re not bout to displace me from my walk-in closet! NOPE! The former Mrs. Stewart tells us she’s super close with her sister, talmbout “We’re so close. We’re like siamese cats.”
O__________O First of all, you mean SIAMESE TWINS?!? Second, NO ONE EVEN SAYS THAT ANYMORE! It’s derogatory. Conjoined, fool! I can’t with Porsha and her short wig short bus status. Antyweighs, Kordell’s lawyer told hers that he’s gonna pack up the rest of the rest of her stuff out for her. OOP.
Mama Joyce’s Hateration – Kandi gave her mom her old house and she goes to visit to see what she’s done with the place. Her mama takes the opportunity to piss on her love parade, talmbout how much she doesn’t like Todd. She’s laying on a bed of assumptions, telling her daughter that Todd doesn’t provide for her because she’s richer.
She then tells Kandi that Riley doesn’t like him. The bitter cherry on the yucky sundae of hate was to then diss her engagement ring, saying it was small. A clearly hurt Kandi starts crying, angry and sad that her mother is going to those lengths and it wasn’t a good look for Mama Joyce. What I took from it is that Joyce wants her to stay single forever because she’s afraid that if she has a husband, she gon get less money from her.
When your own mama is the one tryna block your happiness, that’s gotta hurt EXTRA. Kandi should get married if she wants to get married. Her mom is a selfish jerk. UGH!
But remember how I said Kenya got some cheek work done? Look at this pic:
Do yall see it??? Also, what did you think about Mama Joyce’s rant?