Dear Peggy Noland, About That Naked Oprah Dress… NO MA’AM!
I came across a link on The Cut about artist Peggy Noland’s newest project, “Oprah: Skinny, Naked, and Screaming on Your Dress.” THE HELL, BRO?!? So I’m here to write Peggy a sternly-worded letter because my spirit is IRKED!
Look at the dress and see why I’m pissed:
Dear Peggy Noland,
You disrespectful bitch! I don’t know who the hell you are but you fucking tried it! You’re lucky I found couth in a hopeless place so I’ma just start this with “hey girl.” I am here to talk to you about the “project” you did featuring Oprah’s body imagined skinny, average and obese on a floor-length dress. And one where she’s in KISS makeup.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Are you for real? You woke up one day and thought the best way to start conversation about body image was by photoshopping the head of the first self-made Black woman billionaire on some tacky lycra dresses? This is so disrespectful on so many levels that I lack the words to truly articulate how upset I am. This gif should illustrate it:
Let’s talk about the fact that you really think you’re attaching some great symbolism to this because you think there are some “really meaningful philosophical layers…It can nod to how ridiculous the fashion industry is at times.”
Oh how meta of you. So you create an utterly dumbstupid dress to make fun of the fashion industry. And then you’re talmbout it’s philosophical. Sit the entire hell down! AIN’T A GAHTDAMB THING PHILOSOPHICAL ABOUT THIS TACKY ASS DRESS! This dress is about as deep as a drool spot. You’re reaching further than the hopes and dreams of my tomorrow.
Beyond that, you’re showing a complete lack of awareness or lack of damn-giving to the history of Black women’s bodies being exploited, ridiculed and put on display for profit. YOU HAVE THE NERVE! My Venus Hottentot and Sarah Baartman radar is going off and I have to go AWF because of it. How tone deaf and ignorant do you have to be to not see how problematic this dress is, white woman?
I am CRINGING at this. I’m not just touched because it’s Oprah on this dress. It could be a headless brown body and my whole spirit would still be bothered. I can’t shake how aggravated it makes me feel that this woman is walking around with a naked Black body on her dress for the sake of some bullshit ass “art.” And other people will be able to do the same because this crap is for sale! You’re talmbout your motto is “white trash meets high class” but this is pure trash with no class to be found.
HOWEVER, when you decided to do this (which was a bad decision by itself), shouldn’t you have picked someone who’s comfortable with having their naked bodies displayed publicly? Pick a model, or a pr0n star, or shit. HOW ABOUT MILEY CYRUS?!? When has Oprah EVER…? but lemme guess. That’s the irony you’re trying to prove. (-___-) Girl, BYE!
OR HOW ABOUT YOU DON’T DO IT AT ALL?? And how about you especially don’t do it without the permission of the person you’re putting on the dress?
I hope Oprah sues the pants off you, Peggy. I need her legal team to come after you with everything they have because you’re a starved artist who’s also starved of creativity and starved of common sense. And this dress has 99 problems and the chick who created it is one.
You and some of your skinfolk gotta cut out this blatant disrespect because I’m pretty tired of being tired of your antics. I JUST laid down my burdens regarding Blackface on Halloween and here you come with this trifling stunt. A plague of papercuts you can’t identify their location on your house. I wanna go drop you and the perpetual line-steppers in the Land of Abandoned People.
P.S. Seriously. WTF?!?
What do y’all think of Peggy’s dresses? Are you proud of me for only cussing a little? Because the only thing that I wanted to do was cuss her clean out and make up new expletives for the occasion.
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