Mama Joyce Gotta Be Checked: RHOA Season 6, Episode 5 Recap
I didn’t recap last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) but cliffnotes: Apollo is a jerk, Kandi’s mama is still a fool, Kenya is living in a tiny hotel room and Porsha is heartbroken. With that being said, let’s talk about last night’s episode.
Phaedra’s Silence and Peter’s Sense – Phaedra is on her way to Alabama to take her Mortuary Sciences exam and Apollo brings his raggelly self to the car to kiss her goodbye. She basically muffed him because she ain’t here for him and I don’t blame her. Don’t piss off the Southern Belle one night and think you’re cool the next. NAWL!
Apollo goes to see Peter for advice, while rocking a red shirt, red belt, and red shoes. He wanna be me so bad. (-__-) Antywho, Cynthia’s boo tells Mr. Parks that he was dead ass wrong to tell his wife that if he wanted to sleep with Kenya he woulda. “Homegirl was tryna embarrass your wife through you.” You better listen to Uncle Ben! Shoo…
Kandi-Koated Questions – Kandi is with her BFF Carmen and the topic goes to Mama Joyce and her disdain for Todd. Her friend asks her what’s gonna happen if her mama never gets on board? MMHMMM. Good question. Also, Joyce is going around telling folks that Carmen is sleeping with Todd. Kandi’s mama is messier than bed head.
Kenya’s Move – Kenya has moved out the 2.5 star hotel room she was staying in and into a house. When her and Miss Lawrence enter the house, they comment that it’s just a temporary space because it’s small. That house was NOT small. If these nouveau non-riche folks don’t go SADDOWN somewhere! And all this money that Kenya’s talmbout she got. She ain’t got it to spend on more than 2 movers. Girl good day.
Grocery Shopping and Shock – Cynthia decides to take Nene grocery shopping with her and it seems Mrs. Leakes hasn’t been in one a store for food in ages.
She’s walking around marveling at Hot Pockets and aisles. Now Nene girl. STAHP. Even Oprah goes grocery shopping. You ain’t been that rich for that long. Anywho, Cynthia tells Nene that her daughter Noelle has a boyfriend now and her friend does not take it well. 13 is too young for official boyfriends. That’s for crushes. She’s all shocked that Nene’s shocked. NAWL, CYN!
Todd’s Welcome – Todd has been away on a work trip and he’s returning to an excited Kandi. She’s set out catered food for him and when he walks in the door, they hug, he squeezes her yansh and they sit down to eat. Right then, Kandi starts telling him the things her mother said about him, including the fact that her engagement ring isn’t expensive and he doesn’t provide for her like he should. Understandably, he loses his appetite and is frustrated. He tells Kandi that they gotta deal with this so they call Joyce and invite her to dinner. The woman’s attitude is strong through the phone. LAWD!
Noelle and Arthur – Noelle’s little boo Arthur comes over with this mom to meet Cynthia and Peter. When he says “Hey Peter” the reply is “Did you just call me Peter?” He fixed that QUICK to Mr. Peter. Damb straight. As the parents talk, the crushbirds go sit outside and he says “You look nice today, Noelle.” DDAAAAAWWWWWW!!! Ok they’re adorabo.
Porsha’s Househunting – Porsha is thinking about getting her own place so she goes looking with her mom and her sis Lauren (who reminds me of Miss Piggy and I don’t know why). They look at a 2-bedroom apartment with a dope view but it’s $4,500 a month. FAH WUT?!?! FOR. GAHTDAMB. WHAT? Girl, bye. Porsha decides she ain’t ready to be on her own just yet and it doesn’t hurt that her mama makes her sammiches in bed.
Phaedra’s Escape – Phaedra is in Alabama with her study group learning up on embalming and dead folks stuff. And she comments that she likes this because it’s an escape away from her whiny husband and responsibilities. Dang. The fact that talmbout death is her way of relaxing? We gotta get Phae a vacation.
Mama Joyce’s Meltdown – Mama Joyce arrives at Kandi’s for dinner and when Todd greets her, she gives the most shadeful “hi” ever. The moment she sits down, she starts shrieking. She had her nerve to tell Todd that “she stepped herself down for you” and a “BITCHHH” escaped from my mouth before I knew it. This damb lady! She kept going in talmbout he doesn’t “provide” for Kandi. MA’AM. YOUR DAUGHTER DON’T NEED NOBODY TO PAY HER BILLS!
In fact, that’s clearly the point here. Mama Joyce is paranoid that if Kandi gets married, she’d get less money from her but that’s some selfish shit. Meanwhile, Todd is handling this VERY WELL because someone else woulda cussed Mama Joyce up down all the way around. He gets extra points for maintaining his cool and actually tryna talk to that unreasonable ass lady.
But I need Kandi to grow some nerve and tell her mama to butt out her business and not be rude to her love like that. Don’t be no punk! I know that’s your mama but she’s outta line, outta pocket and outta behavior. And she might lose out on love because of it.
Mama Joyce gotta procure ALL the seats and butt out her daughter’s life. UGH!
Did y’all watch this episode? Do you think Kandi is handling this well?
Pics from BravoTV.com