These Puma Sneakers By Solange Are Dora the Explorer’s Dream
I’ve been a fan of PUMA shoes for years because they stand out and aren’t ordinary gym shoes (STAND UP, CHICAGO). I’ve had multiple pairs of their kicks, and I might even still own 1 or 2 in the back of my closet.
When Solange Knowles was announced as their Creative Director, I was intrigued to see what collection would drop as a result. If nothing else, I knew it’d be interesting. Solo is the President, CEO and Executive Director of the “I’m Different” Club and it’s cool because she clearly marches to the beat of her own drum. It’s inspiring. Her Instagram is basically the life we all wanna live. Colorful houses, exotic locations and looking like you give no dambs because you’re luxuriating allatahm. I’d totally wanna hang out with her and talk about life and whatnots.
The Solange X PUMA “Girls of Blaze” lookbook was released and folks everywhere agreed it was dope visually.
Yes, ladies of all shades with curly hair!
I was digging it. The dramatic lips, the ladies of all shades with curly hair and the random symbolism that I’m sure was deeper than rap but I didn’t get it because I’m shallower than a Snapple cap and that’s perfectly ok. Because: art. And vision.
The shoes looked colorful from afar, and that was expected because the day you see Solo looking anything but loud is the day we should all crowd around her and ask what’s wrong. Minimalism is not her thing. She’s known for rocking plaid, houndstooth, cockroaches and polka dots on one #ALPHET and somehow making it work. So yes, these PUMA shoes had to have some energy and “do the mostness.”
Today, I was sent a link to one of the shoes in the collection, which are from PUMA’s classic Discs, and when I clicked it, what I saw was this:
*jumps back* I’m pretty sure I’ve seen shoes JUST LIKE THIS at Children’s Place and even I thought they’d be obnoxious on a toddler’s feet and these are for full-grown people. And those shoes didn’t cost $150 like these do. Already, these shoes give me orthopedic fever. We got straps on the side, chanclatta styrofoam soles and 15 colors that couldn’t go together if they were married. Someone on the designing team was like “you know what? Let’s add ONE MORE COLOR for extra POP!”
Dora the Explorer is somewhere scheming with Swiper about how she’ll get her hands on these.
These shoes are so fugly that I’ve declared them my mortal enemies. I challenge them to a duel at noon because they’ve offended me, as a shoe-anista. NO MA’AM!
Chile… but I’m not the only one who feels like this. I posted the picture of the shoes to my Facebook fan page and the roast that ensued was just as colorful as the shoe itself.
“Did Denise Huxtable collaborate on them with Solange dawg? The Air Gordana Gartrelles?” – LV
“it kinda looks like if someone’s mama tried to make a sneaker shaped birthday cake” – PGY
“These shoes better come with an assortment of useful superpowers and nothing less!” – TMS
“Those make Crocs look good! That’s a damn shame.” – ZP
“They look like someone melted down some Barbie sets, ate it, and then threw up into a shoe mold…” – NP
“This shoe looks like everybody’s collective bad decisions!” – CT
“Why are they? What are they? Who is what? *Ugandan Kerry Washington Voice” – AD
“What happen? Why it happen? *Atlanta Voice*” – TI
“And why did they steal the laces closure thing from Johnny Quest?? This looks like ground-up daycare or preschool finger paint projects.” – NSF
“what in the name of shoe heaven is this travesty??! It looks like someone microwaved all their crayons, the put ripped up pieces of construction paper on it. No ma’m” – AG
“This looks like the sneakers that you make with all the leftovers from the other sneakers that were already made.” – GH
“They look like they’re made out of playdoh” – TH
“Air Fruity Pebbles” – KJ
“Nawl, these are for children with big feet. Like me with size 9s in the 4th grade. *hangs head*” – NB
“These made my light bill go up.” – AT
“Do they light up and play music like “Dora the Explorer” or something?” – SF
“Yuck. They look like a shoe made from vomit and confetti.” – SH
“Don’t stare at them too long. You’ll get dizzy & question your place on earth.” – CGM
LMAO! Yall are the worst.
But these shoes are sold out at many stores so people thought these were the bombest of all diggities. So I should shut my mouth WIDE OPEN! Everything ain’t for everybody and that is understood and Solange’s genius is definitely appreciated by others. In the meantime, I’ll be over here wearing shoes that don’t make me dizzy.
Oh Puma, I still love y’all, doe. I appreciate that they allowed Solange to channel the inner child in her and all of us but was restraint and editing busy? I’m just asking. No shade or nothing. I’m sure these shoes bring someone joy.
So would you wear these shoes? Speak on it.
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63 Comments
I just laughed until I started dry heaving. Luvvie, WHYYY??? Better yet, Solange, WHHYYYYYY? They looked good from afar doe. Good thing I’m not a sneakerhead.
This right here has me crying even more at work at the “light skinned man’s” establishment. They keep asking am I okay. NAW!! HILARIOUS!!!
I’d wear the green and black pair on a walk, sure.
See I was hoping I wasn’t alone… I’d rock those for a workout! The black and green one’s are the least offensive in the group! lol
and those are the only ones that I would even think about wearing. those other shoes, set fire to them!
I said the same thing. Their not completely ugly. Just a little bit. And doable-ish.
Ditto. Although, the more I stare — the top pair doesn’t look that bad either. But my eyes could have already sustained damage from staring at the main image for too long… so I ‘unno. #KanyeShrugs
I like the bottom two in the pic with all 4. They’re not so colorful but colorful enough to not look like a dyslexic rainbow.
I might consider them for my 3 year old. *Might*
They do help to express your inner toddler. You know, the one that was all hyped on sugar and vibrating at the speed of light. Yeah. Just got tired watching those sneakers. Time for nap.
That was pure hilarity! They look like a kid’s horrible art project. And wearing them would be like hanging said art project on the fridge because you don’t want to hurt the artist’s feelings. Cause you love them and they mean well.
And you say “Bless their heart” every time you see it.
I just cackled so loud I drew folks into my office reading this comment. Agreed!
Lordt. I’m torn. Torn between my love and devotion to Solo (see, we’re so close we have nicknames for each other)and my loathing of these… are they shoes? *deep sigh* I just… I can’t.
Honestly, the ones with black are not half bad. I mean I wouldn’t go out to buy them, but I also wouldn’t hand them off to the homeless….#justsayin.
I like the rainbow sherbet ones…that’s all I got! 😉
I like those as well. I’d wear them in the summer.
I’d wear the bottom ones, the rainbow sherbert ones,,, they make a good summer gym shoe and the black/green would be good fall/winter. But I’m not fashion forward enough for the other two.
I love the Pumas that I have because they are low-key and simple. These are just…confusing.
only the green and black would get some pay. and I ain’t afraid of color. this is too much, even for me.
These look like and art project gone bad, but then again so does Solange most of the time….. LOL
Shade.
Lawd, I done died and can’t stop smiling! Lil ole me was quoted in a Luvvie post!! *twirls, sashays, Drunk In Love bounces, and ends with a perfectly executed Leyomi drop*
Your foolishness is appreciated!
“Air Fruity Pebbles”!!! I’m pretty sure I lost consciousness for a second or 2 due to lack of oxygen from laughing at this damn post…..lmao!! These comments are everything!
Dead
LMAOOO! That one had me cackling too. Air Froot Loops game proper.
Girl bye!
Endless cackles this article is. Though I would sport the green/black ones and the rainbow ombre ones. Them other two though? Sheeeeit. Nope.
A real Creative Director is saying “they would’ve fired me over this shyt.”
I’m just gonna say it and fuck being PR about it, but these look like Special Ed shoes….Like the adult that wears these takes life skills classes….Ok, bye Luvvie….
BYE KAY! GOODBYE TO YOU!
OMG Kay thank you for saying it! I was thinking the SAME THING!!! I have real tears in my eyes right now. Thank you for speaking truth and light into my life.
Lmao WOW! She stole what I did to my brand new WHITE sneakers in the 2nd grade; if it wasn’t for my dad pleading on my behalf, my mom would’ve made me wear them 2 school the next day!
LMAO!!! So you sabotaged your shoes.
I’m sure these will be a hit with the young teen girls and twenty somethings.
Hipsters everywhere will rock these proudly!
The only thing I care about here is that .gif spraying of “NO.” I about fell out laughing upon seeing that! It is exactly how I feel about life right now and I need that spray. But antyways, them shoes, chile, I got a headache looking at them and have forgotten what I wanted to say. The end.
That gif is the GIFt (ha) that keeps on giving. Consuela is everything.
I believe this is what Zumba and the world of “dance fitness” has done to athletic shoes. Both Asics and New Balance have had melted crayon lines in the last couple of years.
Those black and green ones though. Its a nice take on camo colors. I’d wear them…you know, after they go on clearance and make an appearance at the Ross.
I love New Balance but they too have some crazy colorways for their shoes sometimes. However, I’ve never seen either go this nuts. The black and green ones, I can deal with. They’re not bad.
I can’t understand anyone grown wanting these shoes, but children – yes.
Children would go to bed early and skip dessert just to procure these shoes.
Nah. I understand that Puma is a running/walking shoe brand, so as a former athlete I am feeling the “idea” of that lace up device. However, you gotta consider everyone n not just the chicks that wear size 6! Most of those colors are maybe tolerable on smaller feet but umm…what about us with a size 10?
I’m gonna remain shade free on Solange becuz I love her style and creativeness, plus I have seen worse shoes that made me ask “what n the entire fukk were they thinkin?”
So good luck girl n do betta next time if u have the opportunity!
These shoes in a size 10 will look like the worst boats you ever did see. I shudder.
They did make me jump back but they are cute. If you’re trendy and good with colors like Solo, they could work. I’m boring and simple so these would have no place in my wardrobe.
That What happen? Why it happen? had me rollin’!
All you need are some jazz hands, unitards, leg warmers, and a headband and your journey into 80s fashion workout Hell will be complete.
LMAO!!! I am now singing “What a feeling! Please believe it!” in my head. Thank you.
I was just about to say that they’re too 80s flashback for me.
But what is that over the tongue? Looks like an oxygen mask? Is that a clock?!? I just don’t know what to think I’m confused…
Puma ate a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper and sh!t these shoes out. Seriously.
Also *twirls* at being quoted by Luvvie. “I’d like to thank the Academy…”
I did the same thing when I saw my comment up there. Had me all verklempt.
Clearly I don’t have enough of a fashionista PhD to wear theses. Solange does because she’s wearing those sneakers with that suit and looking cute. I try that and people will be asking where’s my red ball for my nose.
Hell to the naw I wouldn’t wear those shoes. I thought they were toddlers shoes at first cause that’s only what they’ll look good on.
“Marches to the beat of her own drum” right? Not “matches” I catch a typo on every other post & not your purposely misspelled words. Wouldn’t say anything but you come for everybody else soooo…
You’re welcome
I actually appreciate when folks catch my typos so I can fix them. Will fix this one now.
I LOVE these! But then again,I usually do love the brightest, most garish shoes I can find. I’d rock ’em. #KanyeShrug.
I like the 3rd and 4th pair.
Nike has a pair of kd floral ones that are just as hideous as the ones in the top pic.
I SHOULD HAVE NOT READ THIS WHILE GIVING MY STUDENTS A TEST. FAIL. I got tears down my face, snorting and shoulders shaking while trying to tell idiotic 10th graders to be quiet.
My Pumas gave up the ghost last week after 7 years of hardcore use, but I wouldn’t replace them with any of these. Nerp!
Pretty sure a million other people will, so Solange won’t be destitute.
I was excited for this collection but I can’t say I’d buy these…
I love these!!!! totally my style (I’m 29)…. suits my personality and style to a Teee