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Lil Kim RSVPs to the Flawless Remix Party She Wasn’t Invited To

Beyonce dropped the FLAWLESS remix featuring Nicki Minaj late on Saturday night and the internet went nuts for it. The Stages of Twitter Dealing with a Beyonce Event was recycled, proving to be forever accurate and the stans got a fresh wave of life.

Flawless Remix

Me? Well I thought it was just ok. It’s dope that the top rapper and the top popstar collaborated but I was underwhelmed by the result.

Well yesterday, Lil Kim decided she wants to play too so she came out with a remix to the Flawless remix and she considered it a Nicki Minaj diss track. Even though she was only on the last 30 seconds of the song.

If you’re bored, you can listen here:

*looks around*

So ain’t nobody gon tell Lil Kim that she isn’t on the RSVP list for the FLAWLESS party? Who is gonna stand up and say her invite didn’t get lost in the mail because it just wasn’t sent? *looks on the list* Kimberly, you say? I don’t… *looks again* see you on here. Whose list did you say you were on? I’m sorry, ma’am. You’ll need to step aside so we can let other people in.

Bless her heart! Bey is somewhere like “SAY WUT?” now? Kimberly Jones gon quit embarrassing herself one day (like when she asked fans to send her baby shower gifts) but that day is not TOday. How you just gon throw yourself on the song like a grieving widow?

Lil Kim. Girl, you don’t even go to this school. You can’t sit with us. (-__-) It’s like when R.Kelly threw himself on the “If I were a Boy” Remix. Sir, nobody told you to come into the studio for this. Stahp! Let yourself out and please turn off the light as you go. Just embarrassing.

Prince side-eye 5

Then there’s the fact that she  literally spit for 30 seconds at the END of a 4 minute track. She coulda just let them 16 bars live by themselves and recorded a voicenote on her iPhone 5S and uploaded it to Tumblr instead of making this a “track.” I’m so mad at her for wasting my time. All to get a couple of shots in on Onika.

Lil Kim basically Lil Mama’ed the track. She showed up at the end when everyone was already clapping, wondering why she’s there. She’s the kinda person who shows up on the playground after you picked teams for dodgeball, making the game all uneven. Petty. Sit this round out, madam! Or go start your own game. She’s the kind who tries to walk up on you while you’re playing “Solitaire” talmbout “can I join?” NO, YOU CANNOT.

Chile…

Can we also talk about how she Photoshopped the cover to include her picture?

Lil Kim Beyonce  Flawless

Girl, I guess. She spent all this energy on this when she coulda just taken the time to release her own single.

Let’s not even talk about how unbothered Nicki is by Kim. LET’S NOT.

Saints and Aints, #LettucePray for Sister Kimberly Jones and ask the Lawd that she stops failing successfully. We gon take to fasting and meditating on her behalf because this is a mess. I do want her to prosper and I am rooting for her on the strength of her albums from 15 years ago. Nothing is impossible with God.

Again, bless her heart. She tried.

Lil Kim Bey Nicki gif

*DEAD*

Edit: Joseline Hernandez got her some of the FLAWLESS Remix too? Dassit. I’m coming out with my own version 2moro. Watch this beat drop. Lil Kim doesn’t go to the school but Joseline ain’t even enrolled in the school system. STAHP! Bofa dem need to STAHP!!!

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59 Comments

  1. August 5, 2014 at 8:05 am

    My thing is, she mentions quite a few times that she had a baby like last week, so.. shouldn’t you be wiping vomit off that sweet baby’s face? You could have found a better use of your time than these 30 seconds of nothing. I used to love her.. She’s making me not love her! lol I thought she had no time for fake ones? If nicki is her pre-plastic surgery doppelganger, why make so much time for her? UGHHHHHH. lol

  2. Demi
    August 5, 2014 at 8:05 am

    Welp you pretty much nailed my thoughts. She’s 40 with a kid and out here trying to beef with women almost 10 years younger. Lordt.

  3. RJ
    August 5, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Poor little Tink Tink.

    • Fabulously Urs
      August 5, 2014 at 8:12 am

      Lol…My thoughts exactly…smh

    • T
      August 6, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      HAAA!!! Right.

  4. LadyLarke
    August 5, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Can she please go change Royal Reign’s dirty diapers and stop worrying about what Onika and ’em are doing out here??? Ma’am, you had your time in the spotlight and you effed it up getting all those plastic surgeries like you’re an honorary member of the Jackson family. 90’s Lil’ Kim was a force to be reckoned with. 2000’s and older Lil’ Kim gives me all the sads.

    • Milaxx
      August 5, 2014 at 9:10 am

      ^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^ right here is all the truth. Not trying to take away from what Lil Kim did, but her time is over. If she’s gonna fond back it’s gotta be on her own steam, not riding the coat tails of someone else. Until then she needs to tend to her child and have a seat.

      • Milaxx
        August 5, 2014 at 1:29 pm

        *come* back

    • Erin
      August 5, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      “Ma’am, you had your time in the spotlight and you effed it up getting all those plastic surgeries like you’re an honorary member of the Jackson family.”

      This is why we can’t have nice things!!!!!!!!!

  5. DJ
    August 5, 2014 at 8:19 am

    I am not a stan, but I do like ‘Yonce, and I feel like she rapped better on the remix than either of them. Kim should not have invited herself and Beyoncé shouldn’t have invited Nicki.

    • August 20, 2014 at 5:43 am

      I felt the same about liking Beyoncé’s part better..It sounded like JayZ, especially the elevator part (*side note: I’m mad my keyboard has her name complete with the accent at the ready)

  6. CaliRedd
    August 5, 2014 at 8:20 am

    “Lil Kim basically Lil Mama’ed the track. She showed up at the end when everyone was already clapping, wondering why she’s there.” I HOLLERED!! I love Kim, back in the day. I had high hopes of her doing some damage when she came out w/ the reggae inspired track (many moons ago). Unfortunately everything since then has looked like an attempt to talk bad about somebody else or recycling Biggie’s lines (again)! It’s time for LilKim to be a happy mother not a bitter old rapper. She’s better than that.

  7. August 5, 2014 at 8:21 am

    Notice how every time Nicki Ninja do a song or a photo… You got the one wino that always bring up Lil Kim’s photo from her Hardcore days when she was real, had color on face, and a nose that didn’t look detachable?

    OK…that is the thing…those were the OLD days. OK, Lil Kim change the game bringing raunchiness and sex appeal. Now it is time for her to sit in a rocking chair and tend to Royal Reign.

    Oh, I know I was not the only one fast forwarding this remix to get to her part and became very disinterested at the end

  8. I'm old you're old you know I'm right
    August 5, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Kim COULD still be good BUTTT, in America you need the whole package. Since she is now Mulans stunt double, rapping is just not the look for her.

    The bars need work, not terrible though.

    • ZaidahNicole
      August 5, 2014 at 8:41 am

      “…Mulan stunt double…”

      *lays prostrate on the altar*

    • Sparkle T
      August 6, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      *dead* My #funegral is next Tuesday. Wear something nice.

  9. Felicia
    August 5, 2014 at 8:37 am

    Long deep drawn out sigh. Lil Kim please have a football stadium full of seats. That pic of Prince is everything !!!!

  10. Misha C
    August 5, 2014 at 8:39 am

    Can we please just play homage to theeye shade photo of the forever fly and Shady Prince Rogers Nelson though?

    • RavenJ
      August 5, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Yes. Yes we can!!! Prince is serving up a serious “sitcho’ ass down” stare.

    • August 5, 2014 at 10:39 am

      yes I saw that and I was like YASSSSS Sir YASSSSSSSSS

  11. JazzT
    August 5, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Lil Kim, I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish but Kanye had the best jackass interruption of all time!

    • August 5, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Right?!!! LOL!

    • RavenJ
      August 5, 2014 at 10:23 am

      Yes!!!

    • August 5, 2014 at 11:31 am

      LMMFAO that comment gave me all the life I need today!

  12. Kat
    August 5, 2014 at 9:18 am

    This had me CRYING laughing from the title to the end. Hoping Lil Kim will get some portion of her life after this.

  13. August 5, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Baaahaaa! I guffawed the king of all guffaws reading this. LOL! Even though I admit that I was hype and am still hyped about Onika and Bey doing a Flawless remix, when I heard that Lil Kim inserted her salty behind all up in the mix I got an instant attitude. I loved Kim back in the days. Her tone of voice, her flow, her IDGAF swag. Alla dat! But this here? Nope. I can’t rock with it. If you’re the Queen prove it. Release a whole album on time. How long have we been waiting? Three years? When is it coming Kim? When boo? Or, if you wanted to do a dis piece. like Luvie said, do your own. Don’t just post up for two seconds on someone else’s remix and be whack. Babs and Dylan didn’t walk to Juniors for cheesecake for this!

    • nichelle
      August 6, 2014 at 11:17 am

      omg you did NOT bring up Babs and DYLAN!!! LMAO
      i dunno why Kimmie even bothered; she know the top 5 rappers of all time a Dylan, Dylan, Dylan,Dylan, and… oh dat’s right, DYLAN! bahahahaaaa! Thank you for the flashback, ma’am. 😀

    • Sparkle T
      August 6, 2014 at 6:53 pm

      I am literally crying!!!!!! Holy Cheesecake, Batman!!

  14. CK
    August 5, 2014 at 9:43 am

    I know lil kim didnt photoshop herself into that picture knowing she dont even look like that anymore. On behalf of everybody i say kim dust yourself off and try again, or better yet just have a seat. Yeah, that would be better just go sit down somewhere. #Idontclaimher

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      August 6, 2014 at 1:55 am

      Did you just tell her to make like Aaliyah & dust herself off & try again?! Dayum

  15. Erica
    August 5, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Sis asked her fans to send her baby shower gifts. Sis used paypal to sell a “mixtape”. Sis chopped and screwed her body and her face.

    This is a woman who’s life is full of bad decisions. Although I’m embarrassed for her, I expected nothing less than this throwing herself on a remix no one wanted her on.

    She is on time and everything is going according to plan for her continued ridicule. That is what she was going for. Right?

  16. RavenJ
    August 5, 2014 at 10:22 am

    She is trying her hardest to make fetch happen. :-/

    • KayMee
      August 5, 2014 at 5:09 pm

      Right. FETCH is not gonna happen, Kim.

  17. August 5, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Mwhahahaha! Luvvie your post killed me, lol. Lil kim needs to go to Oprah or dr Philfor a good therapy. She’s so damn pathetic, like you wonder what next bigger and funnier mess she’ll do.

  18. Itsben1
    August 5, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Yup, that additional gif was necessary, Luvvie, LOL!

  19. Tish
    August 5, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I love this post but real talk…I love Nicki but her verse was severely disappointing (wack). Kim is washed up but her verse was much better than Nicki’s. Although Kim wasn’t invited to the function, I wish her verse was longer…then we can remove her from the premises.

  20. August 5, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Don’t let me catch Hoss-line speaking tongues on Bey’s track. DON’T DO IT. lol

  21. Jemilia
    August 5, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Can someone please sign Kim up for the “has been” rehab or an updated episode of surreal life cuz clearly she has a hard time occupying the D list. Smh….. How dare it invite itself on someone else’s track. Its grandma prolly so ashamed of its non manners having self

    • Jabria
      August 5, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      “How dare it invite itself on someone else’s track. Its grandma prolly so ashamed of its non manners having self”

      *proceeds to die cackling*

  22. Tameka
    August 5, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    The LuvvNation has spoken and that GIF has me cackling from the depths of my soul!!!!

  23. Randomly Jazzy
    August 5, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    shutting down my dang computer, and going home! I was on life support with the read, then in a coma with the photoshop cover and now that Mean Girls gif put the nail in the coffin. LMAO

  24. Tasha
    August 5, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    I just listened to this remix 5.6 times and the confusion become stronger with each listen. So why? who? how? hunh? The purpose again was? I am from L’il Kim’s generation and she has had her moment, not sure why she won’t let Nicki have hers. Pass the throne already and go take care of your offspring. She cannot ever stage a successful comeback, because no one can take her seriously not when a piece of her face can fall off at a moments notice. I am way past embarrassed for her and I think it is time that Luvie stage an intervention. Real talks..
    P.S. the comments are friggin hilarious!!

  25. Syrich
    August 5, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    When people pass me at work they look at me like I am crazy because I am peeping over my monitor trying to suppress my overwhelming need to laugh out loud. Between watching the Sorry Mrs. Carter video and reading this post I am done for the day. Luvvie and the LuvvNation, ya’ll are funny. Lil Kim, lil kim let it go please go raise your child, chile. Let it go.

  26. August 5, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    My co-worker’s son looked at the Li’l Kim cover and said “SHE DON’T E’EM LOOK LIKE DAT!” Between this perfect post, hilariously perfect GIFs, and the ig’nance of some co-workers, my day is done.

  27. August 5, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Oh OK. The author must be a Nicki stan and/or this must a Nicki stan site.

    *leaves*

    • Khaleesi
      August 6, 2014 at 12:33 am

      You’re new. LuvvBug is an equal opportunity roaster.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      August 6, 2014 at 1:59 am

      Toodles!

    • YEAHHHH
      August 6, 2014 at 9:30 am

      This is what i’m thinking.

  28. August 5, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    Dearest Lil Kim:

    The Kubler-Ross based Five Stages of Accepting You Might Have Become a Struggle Rapper:

    1- Denial
    2- Anger
    3- Bargaining
    4- Depression
    5- Photoshopping your ass onto somebody else’s record cover

    #TeamICan’t #ThatPrincePicIsFlawlesslyEverything!

    • Christy Stover
      August 6, 2014 at 6:26 pm

      You did NOT quote Kubler-Ross…on. The. Floor!

  29. Chanel
    August 5, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    I get what Kim was trying to do with Nikki’s line about queen of rap, queen bey… But we have two problems.. 1. this is old news and 2. I don’t remember us dubbing lil Kim as the queen of rap either… If she was gonna do it she shoulda had a producer mix that line in the beginning of a full song.. She gets an F in my book and I hope she retires and goes away… I also find it funny she decides to rap again when remy ma came home… I wonder how long it’s gonna take before she imagines a beef with her too..

  30. La
    August 6, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    Lil Kim has mental health issues and needs medication for Delusions of Grandeur as evidence by naming her child Royal Reign. I do not understand why she is so stuck on Nikki taking her Style. (I am not a Nikki fan but Nikki perfected it) But why is Kim MAD when she clearly did not like her own self image. When Big died, so did her skills on th mic.

  31. […] wrote about how Lil Kim RSVPed to the Flawless remix party she wasn’t invited to already, and I sufficiently expressed my reasons to side-eye the self-proclaimed Queen […]

  32. […] wrote about how Lil Kim RSVPed to the Flawless remix party she wasn’t invited to already, and I sufficiently expressed my reasons to side-eye the self-proclaimed Queen […]

  33. […] wrote about how Lil Kim RSVP’d to the Flawless remix party she wasn’t invited to already, and I sufficiently expressed my reasons to side-eye the self-proclaimed Queen […]

  34. […] wrote about how Lil Kim RSVP’d to the Flawless remix party she wasn’t invited to already, and I sufficiently expressed my reasons to side-eye the self-proclaimed Queen […]

  35. August 9, 2014 at 11:11 am

    I.can’t.stop.laughing!

    She mentions having a baby a week ago. Then proceeds to rap about putting her lips on a man’s penis. Now them’s some motherin’ skills if I’ve ever seen ’em. Her verse confused me. I give her a brownie point for the first line where she *pretended* Nicki called her the queen of rap. S/n: is it me, or does it sound like all of that plastic surgery might have hindered her speech? *shoulder shrug*

  36. December 26, 2014 at 11:51 pm

    Since when do women have to hang up their careers for motherhood? I’ve never read a post suggesting Beyonce tend to Blue Ivy instead of making an album with a complete video compilation to match. Women can do both. Women have done both, so Lil Kim is no different.

    And last I checked, being a rapper is an invitation in and of itself for another rapper to battle you. Countless musicians sample songs and offer comebacks or diss records. It’s the territory.

    Like others have noted, Nicki’s bars were wack. I agree it didn’t make sense for Lil Kim to just tack on her comeback but lyrically she consistently dominates over Nicki. I like a lil healthy competition, that’s what hip hop is built on. There is room for more than one artist to innovate and thrive.

  37. Chase
    December 27, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    I like Niki but I will always rock with Kim.