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FLOTUS Michelle Obama Says Malia and Sasha Are Not Influential and I Love It

michelle-obama-sasha malia

I’m not a parent yet but I look forward to the day where I can tell my children that what’s mine is NOT theirs. First Lady Michelle Obama was told that Malia and Sasha were chosen by Time Magazine as two of the most influential teens and she did the Mommy-est thing she could. She disagreed.

Watch:

“They are not influential. They just live here. They have done nothing to gain any influence.” I LOVE HER. She is such a Black mama because she even laughed at the idea. Like psht. She almost said “those jokers? Nah.”

You haven’t been insulted til your parents bring you back down to life in such a way.

My children will be told they have nothing but their good name. ALL THE SHOES AND ELECTRONICS ARE MINE because I bought them. They better not slam their bedroom door. IT IS MY DOOR AND YOU SLAM IT, YOU LOSE IT. All my petty will come out quick! This is the parenting I believe in.

Don’t mind me, though. I was raised by Nigerian parents who felt NO QUALMS about telling me when I was being an IJOT (idiot). Chile, Naija moms will cut you down to size so tough that when you get to school, you’re rubber and everyone is glue. We can shake things off way easier.

Get over yourself gif

It’s also clear that The Obamas do not subscribe to that over-affirming form of parenting (thankfully). You know the parents who tell their kids they’re special snowflakes all the time in spite of what foolishness they engage in? NAH, B! I ain’t for that. Some parents will “OMG YOU’RE THE BEST THING EVER” their kids to spoiled glory. I’m not for that. At all.

If you do something ridiculous, you will be told. And then LATER, I’ll be all “but you’re smarter than that.” SIT in your mistake, doe. I’m not here for the “everyone gets a participation trophy” parenting manual. Nope. You didn’t win. That’s ok. Try harder next time. You will lose like a champ and deal. NO TROPHY for just playing. NAH.

nope timon gif

Get better at what you wanna be awarded for, kid. Children need to be taught to expect to win but know how to lose.

But yes: “They have done nothing.” LOVE.

P.S. I’ll be back another day to talk about how Nigerian parents punish you and get you in shape at the same time.

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53 Comments

  1. dmaclee
    April 7, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Girl, I read this and got my life…my 11 year old knows this brand of parenting all too well. I do things that let him know that he is the light of my life but not of the worlds. My favorite phrase is “Ain’t nobody tripping of you.”

    • Jessica
      April 7, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      Change tripping to checking and we’re the same person!

    • emmesbabygirl
      April 10, 2015 at 6:11 am

      “let him know that he is the light of my life but not of the worlds.” Perfect.

  2. Michele
    April 7, 2015 at 11:31 am

    That was reason 2,563,912 why I love FLOTUS. No one will keep it real like a Black Mama.

    My Mom (RIP) used to roll the same way, would cut me and my sisters no slack. A couple of years ago I had a conversation with her best friend, and she said that one time she asked Mom why she was so hard on us sometimes. Mom’s reply was “It’s a rough world out there for a Black woman and there’s no way my girls won’t be prepared for it on my watch.”

    Now granted Malia and Sasha will have a much easier go of things than 99.9% of us, but they will be going out into the world with that South Side foundation and values to keep them grounded.

  3. April 7, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Love this so much! She didn’t hesitate for a nanosecond except to chuckle at the thought. Also West Indian parents will drop the truth on their kids like a ton of bricks too, and in some cases threaten to pelt them with a brick, rubber slippers or whatever’s handy.

    • Ayanna
      April 7, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      That is a Trinidadian parent right there!

  4. April 7, 2015 at 11:36 am

    I SWEAR you a Trini.

    • Triniheat06
      April 7, 2015 at 5:01 pm

      I be thinking the same thing.. am reading and am like I have lost plenty doors in my short young life time.. my mother packed a bag and sent me to live with a teacher cause she called CPS after my mom bust some licks on me

      • AuntHo
        April 8, 2015 at 10:12 am

        I LIVE. This will now be my response to (overly) concerned citizens.

  5. mutiat
    April 7, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Lemme get you started at the punishment, angle 90, sewing machine (squats). Stool down! Choi. No wonder i was fit and firm when i lived in naija( i was a troublesome chile) my butt was firm from so much sewing machine! , America had made me fat !

  6. Nicole
    April 7, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    My momma (RIP) wasn’t here for any bodies anything. I remember my brother started smelling himself (for those who don’t get it thought he was grown) she told him to wash dishes and he said no and before anyone could blink she hit him in the chest with a flying ninja punch. She stood over him in all her Blackville S.C. glory and dared him to get up. As his siblings since we couldn’t save him we advised him to lay there and play dead. When I got custody of my 3 brothers after she died they tried me once and I removed all doors off all hinges except for the bathroom because I could.

    • CM
      April 7, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      Let me just say I am so here for you removing doors!!! How have I died laughing at that imagery???

    • Friendly Librarian
      April 7, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      OMGeeeee. Nicole, I had to cover my mouth to swallow my laugh back into my hand as I envisioned your Momma’s flying ninja punch. I had to create & playback the tape of you and your fish-eyed siblings gulping mouthless words to your brother to not get up off the floor. I’m through burping up a laugh for today after reading this. Chile, I’m DONE with you.

    • jimmy
      April 7, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      I was scared to laugh because as we South Carolinians know- when mama issues a throat chop or a sternum crunch there shant be a sound. No crying. No laughing from the peanut gallery (unless you want some too). You better learn your lesson of humility and respect in silence and mean mugging mama is a no-no.

      *damn I just caught a chill

      • Nissi
        April 9, 2015 at 5:34 pm

        Another who lived to tell through Carolina discplinary tactics …The late great Edna, my beloved mother, jumped on my 5’5 frame in all of her 4’11 glory like a Tasmanian devil when I rolled my eyes at some of her verbal correction. She jumped me like a thug at the bus stop. When I looked up, all the curlers on my head were all over the hall. I since ascribe to the theory that all children need to meet the parent they should fear at least one time. I never needed to see her (or Daddy for that matter) again…smh

        • Nicole
          April 9, 2015 at 5:59 pm

          Why did I howl when I read this! A thug at the bus stop! Nissi! You will not kill me today ma’am! No! Jimmy you already know what could we do? Naw I’m not here for saving you at all BUT! I will offer up advice on survival after that son you’re on your on. Friendly look this was life or def (death) I had no desire to sink with that ship nope! I’m team me myself and saving my hide. CM I was 22 and grieving dealing with back stabbing family and taking on at the time a 16, 14, and 13 year old you will either dress in the bathroom or feel that cool A\C Breeze across your hind parts.

  7. Nikky
    April 7, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    This typa parenting is the reason my mama and I are so tight right now. When I was a kid I knew her soul purpose in life was to kill my thug but now I’m older I sure as hell know much better

  8. Serenity
    April 7, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    Is Nigeria in South Carolina? Because your parents sound like mine. I ONCE slammed a door when I was 16, and my mother kicked it down. Then…. had it removed off the hinges. I got it back as a college graduation present. But I never closed flush….

  9. Patricia
    April 7, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    In my mind, Mrs. O and I are best friends, we workout together, lunch together and have dance parties. Here response on point! This is why I can’t stand all the people who’ve become famous for doing nothing. I love Mrs. O, my bestie!!

  10. Amanda Tawana
    April 7, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    I am South African,raised the same way. My dad used to buy all our clothes according to his taste, and u will smile and wear them like the sun is shining on a beautiful day. (Thank Gawd we wore uniform in SA, or id never go to school). I only bought my own clothes when I had part time work in varsity,otherwise he was having none of that with his money.

  11. Moni
    April 7, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Chile, Bermudian parents are the same way, even when you’re grown! I got my feelings hurt (and my butt back in the gym) when my mom saw me last fall (for the first time in months) and said in a confused tone, “I thought you were working out.” When I picked her up from the airport last month and she was raving about how wonderful I looked, I KNEW I looked good! #mamadontplay #brutallyhonestaboutthegoodandthebad

  12. April 7, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Product of two Nigerian parents here- you do not JEST…

  13. Gdo
    April 7, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    I guess this, “P.S. I’ll be back another day to talk about how Nigerian parents punish you and get you in shape at the same time.” is true of African parents.

  14. Kayla
    April 7, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    Haha see that’s why the Obamas are my kinfolk. I love their candidness. I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve already decided anything I buy for my children will be accompanied with, “I brought this to let you borrow it as long as you want and whenever you like, but it is mine. I just wanted a Playstation for the house.”

  15. Lena
    April 7, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Mrs Obama is my hero! She is everything! She just tells it like it is and then dares you to do your worst. Fearless truth teller. Role model. Terrific mother. She totally rocks, and her daughters and so many will be so much better and stronger for having this strong, wise woman as their north star.

  16. Renee
    April 7, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    My mama, a feisty mix of Irish, Italian, and Puerto Rican did the same thing and took my sister’s door off the hinges when she slammed it. “Doors and privacy are a privilege in my house.” She didn’t play in the slightest. And don’t let you stomp up those stairs unless you want to get called outta your room to walk up and down the stairs 10 times or until you learn how to do it without attitude.

    • NGS
      April 7, 2015 at 6:06 pm

      AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man, that brought back repressed memories. I remember my mom did that to me a couple of times: I slammed a book down?Welp, gotta spend the next fifteen minutes picking it up and putting it down nicely. I stomped out of the room (we didn’t have stairs or I’dve stormed up those)? Gonna be walking in and out of that room 10 times with no attitude.

  17. Casey
    April 7, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Oh. My. God!! I. Loved. it. Mrs Obama is not here for the phoniness. She’s the truth. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

    I love the way she drops truth and then smiles. The same folk putting her little girls on the influential list, are the same folk who will cut them down with a quickness.

    Mrs Obama sees all those folks before they see her, and she refuses to play their games or set her daughters up for them to tear down. No sir. Mama don’t play that.

    • Hauwa Muktari
      April 8, 2015 at 11:10 am

      word word word!!!!

  18. notconvincedgranny
    April 7, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    As a child of parents with Southern roots, I know for a fact that when Moms said she would take your neck between her thumb and second finger and snap it, she meant it. She might be a little sad later, but she would keep it moving.

    And I recall one time my sister having the gat damn, zip zam, brass ass gall to roll. her. eyes. and let mama see it. She was off the floor, sliding UP the wall, hair being singed by the flames of Hades emanating from Moms. Moms whispered “next time your eyes roll it will be across your feet and out the door.”

    Good times, my friends, good times. I miss her and Pops every dang second of every dang day.

    • Miss Tee
      April 7, 2015 at 2:55 pm

      You’re kidding right?? That would have put the fear of God in all.

    • April 7, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      Please, say that again, only LOUDER. My brother thought it clever to stick his tongue out after my dad had lectured him and turned away from him one day. He rolled back on my brother and grabbed that tongue.

      Let’s just say, it was a good thing mama had a big pot of chicken neck soup on the stove, otherwise we would have TONGUE SOUP! LOL

  19. Barbara Saunders
    April 7, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Like 99 percent of what I read about parenting, I am grateful to have grown up in an extended family! This kind of power jockeying had no place. To the extent that my parents were the boss of me, their parents were the boss of them. I got a clear message of a gradual transfer of power, authority, and eldership over time, none of the message that my parents “created” the family.

    • Bukky
      April 7, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      “I got a clear message of a gradual transfer of power, authority, and eldership over time, none of the message that my parents “created” the family.”

      THIS! #ItTakesAVillage

  20. PoetrysTruth
    April 7, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    I am the product of a mother who’s the descendent of a Glamazon from Panther Burn,MS. The mothers in my life didn’t play. My cousins are big boys 6’4″+ over 270lbs. My GROWN cousin got slick in the mouth in my Auntie’s kitchen. She dropped his ass with ONE punch. That’s in my DNA. When my kids get to feelin some kind of way I use my words (they will put you in jail for smackin your kids these days) and let them know you’re opinions mean less to the world than your black ass life! They know if they run up they WILL get done up. I keeps bail $$$ just in case. I’m trying to save their lives because the world has been trying to kill them since they left my womb. Good hometraining doesn’t guarantee they will be safe, but it’s a very good start!

  21. kity
    April 7, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Girl I have a real blk deep south mom. She felt less than nothing back handing u in front of God and everyone. I member one time my sis was in the front seat of the car and said something smart. Moms straight caught her in the mouth and nose at the same damn time. Epic.

  22. SAMDiva
    April 7, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    Apparently, Nigerian parents and southern parents are quite similar. My mother would check you in very few words and have no qualms about it. Unlike some of these children nowadays we were not raised to believe the sun rose and set off our ass. I still remember trying to run away one day, so sure when my father met me at the door he was going to try to stop me. Nope he just asked me for the clothes off my back because he paid for them and they weren’t leaving with me. But I could keep the drawers cause he didn’t want those! Chile, my little feelings were all kind of hurt but I got over it and my silly notion of running any damn where.
    Also, I’m lucky to be the younger sister of an idiot. My older brother was a damn fool who showed me what not to do. I still remember witnessing my mother slap the soul out of him in front of a police officer and when the officer said something to her she told him “either I can deal with him here now or you can deal with him in jail later. Which one do you want?” The officer just said “Ma’am please just wait until we leave before you finish.” Honey, my brother begged them to take him with them when they were getting in the car. I kinda felt sorry for him but not really. He knew better than to do the foolishness he had done to get in trouble in the first place.

    • LadyLarke
      April 9, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      This whole comment has me stifling my laughter in this super quiet office. Yes to all of this!

  23. April 7, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    I remember my daughter started crying because she lost a game and my husband told her if she didn’t like losing that bad then maybe she should have won. I was about to interrupt when he looked at me and said, “YOU will deal as well.” We did. LMAO.

    • Me Talk Pretty
      April 8, 2015 at 10:33 am

      This made me cackle extra loud at work, and I hate you for it. LOL

  24. Shakira Harris
    April 7, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    I’m taller than my mom and at 33, I am STILL terrified of incurring her wrath! Though I never really have because, in the words of the late great James Brown: “Mama don’t take no MESS!”. Even my friends knew the deal. And she would be QUICK to bring you back down to earth if you were feelin yourself just a little too hard. And I love her dearly for every bit of it!

  25. NGS
    April 7, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    I love this. And I love the comments with the “My momma was from x/y/z and did the same thing!” My southern white mom had no qualms about putting me in my place when I acted entitled to anything I wasn’t entitled to. She never got physical, but with her mouth and sarcasm she didn’t have to. She’d get that look on her face–I imagine we all know the one–and you knew you’d tripped her wire.

    I wish more people realized true influence is earned. You can get the resources you need to be influential handed to you by your family or money or fate, but those aren’t influence in themselves. You have to use your gifts, not just make people look at them and admire the wrapping paper.

  26. Motown Mama
    April 7, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Dont let the Motown fool you. I was raised by down south, down home parents WHO DID NOT PLAY. My parents dealt with Jim Crow, so dealing with kids was not a thought to them.

    I am their daughter. One time I told my then 16 year old son to shovel the snow. He said “No”. I knew I would kill him if I hit him, so I didn’t say a word. I called my ex-husband, his Dad, and told him to come get his son because he could not live in my house not one more minute. Don’t you know his smart-ass, mannish self, along with the clothes I allowed him to take, was soon sitting in that snow he refused to shovel! #ImNotTheOne

  27. April 7, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    We were raised in Portland, Oregon in a home with our parents..Our Father worked nights so if something went on while he was working our very short Mother would tell us I’m not waiting for your Father to get home cause I might forget to tell him whatcha did so, your gonna get got right now..they felt if you didn’t correct the problem right at the time it happened well you might forget whatcha did that deserved punishment if she had to stand on a chair to get you which she needed for the boys and grabbed a Cast Iron skillet and gave em a whop wit dat oooooo as for me the so called baby I was caught at the then new high school hangin’ in the main hall chattin’ wit friends and our Father showed up and his main catch phrase for me was ” I’ll make a believer out of YOU yet”. This day was no joke he walked in..saw me didn’t say a word just went through the doors to the school office I followed like the dutiful little dog I felt like and thank goodness I had the presence of mind not to speak. They spoke about me as though I wasn’t there our Father withdrew me from the school and drove me only a few block away from HIS job to an all girls school and promptly enrolled me there.
    Well, needless to say he made a believer out of me then and continued when I prepared for college he didn’t pay. He made a believer out of me fo sho..and the moral of the story is what they had always said to all five of us is “I’M WITH YOU WHEN YOUR RIGHT BUT WHEN YOUR WRONG YOU ON YO OWN”

  28. Madamsophia
    April 7, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    Nigerian parents? Chills. Oh they will let you have it. Now when I see them spoiling their grandkids I crack up. My mom will wait till it is late at night knowing that I hate the dark and can’t run to the neighbors.

  29. Purple Butterfly
    April 8, 2015 at 11:27 am

    LMFAO!!!!!!! I read every last comment on here and I can relate. I’m from Chicago but the Black women in my family didn’t play that. I remember my ma was driving one day and she was lecturing me about being home on time. I was like “whatever” I don’t how it happen but the next then I know, I was trying to catch my breath. SMH I just knew never again. The other time I was over my grandma apartment building and I got caught being “FAST” with some boy I went to school with. Not only did she kicked my ass, she kicked his (she knew who grandma was; he was living with his grandma) and she made be squat on the wall with my hands out. She set these giant ass dictionary book (y’all know the one I’m talking about) on my hands. Man it was heavy as hell. I was holding them all day with no food so I was feeling faint when she let me go home with my mama. It didn’t compare to what my mama did to me, tho. She came up to the school with me and told my principal and teachers what happened. She was able to get the principal and teacher to let me carrying around a real live baby in school and somehow they agree along with the boy grandma. I didn’t explain it right but what I meant is that the boy and I was taking care of a baby for two weeks. When it was over, all I got was “This would be you and him, force into a marriage, taking care of a baby. All because you wanted to be “FAST”

    For those of you who don’t know what that mean, it only another word for tryna do what grown folks do. having sex. Mind you I was young bout 12 or 13

  30. Heha
    April 8, 2015 at 11:39 am

    This is why I love my First Lady!
    And Naija parents will instill the fear of God in you with a quickness. Foolishness is never allowed

  31. Teresa
    April 8, 2015 at 11:40 am

    The comments above are hilarious, and so true of Black Mamas the world over. I can’t add much more except to say with my Mama if my brother and I ever even THOUGHT about backtalking her we would have had to fall down and start twitching, maybe foaming at the mouth to get out of an a–whooping. And that’s not even a sure bet, LOL.

    My favorite memory is of my Aunt though when she was whipping one of my cousin’s behind for some follishness he did and she was praying to Jesus the whole time. The rest of us were in the other room cracking up, and he later told us he was calling out in his mind, “She’s not kidding Lord! She really WILL kill me if you don’t come and stop her!” ROTFL, we talk about that everytime we get together and OUR kids sit around wide-eyed with fear.

  32. SIPort
    April 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    I remember the first time I was really trying to figure out who Michelle Obama was. It was after the win of the Senate Election in 2004. They were on stage, and one of the kids looked like they were going to do a little show out. Michelle Obama with the slight of hand snatched that kid and then gave the child ‘ THE LOOK.’

    EVERY Black child knows what ‘THE LOOK’ is.

    ‘THE LOOK’ tells you that ‘ MAMA DON’T PLAY’.

    MAMA’s not pretending that she’s gonna play.

    So, you best behave.

    Once I saw that, I was like, I know who she is. And, I have not changed my mind.

    The First Lady, and The First Grandmother – who also seems to brook any nonsense….

    Between the two of them, Sasha and Malia didn’t have a chance to experiment with foolishness.

    Reading these comments were hilarious, because it was a walk down Memory Lane.

    Mama and Daddy didn’t take my door off the hinges, but, the one time I asked why my door didn’t have a lock so that I could have some ‘privacy’.

    Mama laid it down.

    PRIVACY?

    PRIVACY?

    Only grown folks with jobs paying bills get PRIVACY.

    You don’t have any until you can pay rent for yourself.

    I looked to my father for sympathy and his response was…

    I got a job…..where’s yours?

  33. LadyLarke
    April 9, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Mannn listen. I’ve got me a Trini mother who must’ve been raised by savage wolves cuz she DON’T play. I remember one time my brother, mother and I were in the kitchen. I was stirring some juice and my mom asked my brother to take out the trash. He mumbled under his breath something like, “Fuck this shit,” and the next thing I knew he was passed out on the floor. My mother hit him in the head with a pot. The juice was stirring itself cuz I ran. When Trini mothers are dishing it to one person, everyone is in trouble. And I wasn’t getting hit by no damn pot.

    We still laugh about it to this day (15 years later). My brother kept the pot as a keepsake/reminder.

  34. Bide I
    April 9, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Naija parents don’t play ooooo. Standing and kneeling positions will strengthen all extremities:)

  35. […] * FLOTUS Michelle Obama Says Malia And Sasha Are Not Influential And I Love It […]

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