TV

Mother’s Mercy: Game of Thrones Season 5 Finale Recap

Game_of_thrones

What is life? What is air? Nothing matters anymore. I am not ok. I am not alright. I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY!!! It’s been a full day and I am still distraught. I have never in the history of ever been so upset at anything on television. If you have not watched the season finale of season 5 of Game of Thrones, go away. Stop here. Save yourself. Because I need to wail. I need to let my grief out with my fellow GoT watchers who feel my pain.

HOW ARE THEY GON KILL JON SNOW?!?!? HOW, SWAY?!? That was bae, yo. He was so bae to me and now he got killed by his own people. I don’t even. WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANYTHING?!? seriously. What is the point?? GEORGE RR MARTIN!!! WHY DO YOU DO THIS???? WHY DO YOU HATE NICE THINGS? WHY MUST WE CRY?!?

Crying Cy 1

But for real. What is the point of Game of Thrones? What is the end game? Who is there to root for (besides Tyrion)? Shit, the white walkers can run through and kill every gahtdamb body in Westeros for all I care. The entire 7 kingdoms can be burnt up by Drogon and his bad ass brother dragons now. I’ONT CURR. HOPE DIED. Hope is dead. I am hurt. If Jon is dead, I don’t even see why anything needs to live. I mean it.

Like for real. I’m pissed. I take this personally. WHY DID JON HAVE TO DIE? How does this push the story forward? Shit. I’m ready to go pitch a tent on the producers of the show’s lawn because the way this heartbreak is set up. I need them to feel my pain.

Ugh. Anyway, let me get into the rest of the show. I’m not done talmbout Jon, doe.

Winterfell

The snow is melting and Melisandre thinks it’s good news from the sacrifice of Princess Shireen. She’s all geeked to tell Stannis and just when she does, one of his men tell him that half of the soldiers and sellswords left in the middle of the night with all the horses. Why fight for a man wiling to burn his own daughter at the stake? Oh AND… they take him to a tree in the woods where his wife is hanging from a rope. She watched her daughter die and even though she wasn’t much of a nurturing mother, that clearly killed her a little so she finished the job. Stannis ain’t got no men, no wife, and no daughter. Then to add insult to injury, Melisandre herself leaves him. What now? Well, what else but to march forward. TO WINTERFELL. With all four of his soldiers. SMDH.

As Stannis an’ ‘em arrive outside Winterfell, they are met by a large Bolton army with horses. Clearly, death said today is the day for them.

Stannis and his fail

As this is happening, Podrick runs to tell Brienne, who is posted up watching the tall tower in case Sansa turns on a light. As she goes with her squire to see about Stannis, Sansa reaches the tower and lights a candle. Gahtdambit!

Well come to find out ALL of Stannis’ men have been slaughtered and he’s wounded and looking pitiful as hell sitting against a tree. Then Brienne walks up and says she knows he used blood magic to kill Renly. So… it is her duty to take his life. He’s resigned to it and does not fight as she puts up her sword to hack his head. We don’t get to see him die, though as the camera cuts away to Sansa. She’s running through the castle when she walks right into Myranda, who holds a bow and arrow to Lady Stark’s chest. Reek is behind her and she wants to make Sansa suffer even more. Our girl is basically all “whatever death” as Myranda pulls her arrow. She misses, because Theon has found some nerve even though he ain’t got no balls, and he hits Myranda. He then throws her over the balcony and the girls makes a SPLAT on the ground.

Now they’ve REALLY done some shit. He grabs Sansa and they run to the top of the building, realizing that Ramsay is coming back. If they stay, they will be totured so there is only one option: run away. Theon grabs Sansa’s hand as they look down to see a floor covered with snow and they jump!

Theon and Sansa Jump

Braavos

Ser Meryn is in the brothel and he has chosen 3 very young girls to spend the night with. What does he do? He whips them all and they start crying. All but one of them. He sends the other 2 away just so he can break the 3rd one and as he starts to whip her, she attacks him. She gouges his eyes out with her knife and walks around him as blood splatters out. She pulls her face off and it’s Arya! She even lets him know who she is right before she slices his throat. DAMMMBBBB!!! Little Stark is now a killing machine.

She sneaks into the Hall of Faces and replaces the face she stole but Jaqen and the girl who stays coming for her are right there. She got away with nothing. They tell her that she is not ready and she killed someone who was not hers to kill. She took a life that was not hers to take just because she wanted revenge for him killing her fighting teacher.

Jaqen tells her “you pay for death with life” and downs the poisonous potion he had given her to use to kill the man in the market. He dies immediately and she’s weeping because that was her Valar Morghulis Bootcamp mentor. The girl asks her why she’s upset, and transforms into Jaqen. WHHAAA? Well, the Many Faces God can truly be No One. She looks down on the body on the floor and it has a different face. She keeps pulling faces off and all of a sudden, she sees her own. Just then, her pupils turn white and her vision fades. Arya is blind.

Arya Stark Blind

Aw shit.

Dorne

Jamie is all set to leave Dorne with Myrcella, Prince Trystane and Bronn. He says his goodbye and even Ellaria plays nice. She walks up to Myrcella and apologizes for that whole trying to get her killed. She kisses the girl on her lips as the Sand Snakes look on. Bronn and Tyene even have a kinky goodbye when the girl bites his ears a little. You know he didn’t wanna leave.

As they all set sail, Jamie and Myrcella are in the basement of the ship and he admits to her that he’s actually her father. Because that is the worst kept secret in the history of ever, Myrcella says she already knows and she’s really glad he’s her father. They share the cutest hug since Shinree and Stannis and I knew trouble was afoot. Within 10 seconds, the girl starts bleeding from her nose. She collapses in Jamie’s arms, dead.

Jamie Myrcella

Meanwhile, Ellaria watches the ship go further away, and her nose starts to bleed. She reaches in her frock and pulls out a small capsule and takes it to the head: the antidote to the poison. She walks away with the Sand Snakes, satisfied that she killed a Lannister. Damb.

Meereen

Tyrion, Jorah and Daario are in Meereen wondering where Drogon flew Daenerys to. Tyrion points out that he seems to have gone North. Either way, they need to find her because this city is already falling apart and now the Queen is gone. Just then, Missandei and Grey Worm (who is still injured) walk in. Everyone’s trying to go on this rescue mission but nawl. Tyrion’s biggest skill is talking and that might not come in too handy.

Grey Worm is not 100% yet so he can’t even fight well. And Missandei is a confidante for Dany, not a fighter. All three of them must stay behind and help rule Meereen. “You want to prove your value, prove it right here in Meereen.” Grey Worm has the trust of the people, Missandei knows Dany very well and Tyrion’s wit and cleverness will come in handy there. So that leaves Jorah and Daario to go find the Mother of Dragons and her dragon Drogon.

Tyrion stands on the palace balcony and watches the 2 men set off when Varys just emerges outta nowhere. WELCOME BACK! These two have great banter and this is no different. Long story short, Varys and his troop of spies will be great assets to Tyrion as he tries to keep Meereen from swallowing itself. “You need to learn which of your friends are not your friends.”

Tyrion Varys 1 Tyrion Varys 2

He meant it when he told Varys “I did miss you.” I’ve missed them too.

On the Run Tour

Dany is on a hill somewhere overlooking green glass, and her clothes that used to be white are now a chic blue-gray from the smoke from Drogon. The dragon is not trying to move, even as she beckons for him to take them back to Meereen. He’s lowkey hurt because those Sons of Harpy did get some spears into him. He is not moving or finding food for them. He just seems to want to nap. He’s basically me on Mondays.

Dany is hungry so she ventures off by herself when all of a sudden, she sees men on horses. She drops the ring she’s wearing as they circle her (probably to leave a clue for when her people come looking for her). They’re the Dothraki men, Khal Drogo’s people. Aw shit. Dany, you in danger girl.

King’s Landing

Cersei is all locked up and they won’t let her out without a confession so she decides to come clean to the High Sparrow. The lady with the ladel (HA!) takes her to him and she admits to sleeping with her cousin Lancel. She denies sleeping with Jamie, her brother and she swears to it. The Head Scientologist says she can go home to Red Keep if she atones for her sins, thanks to Mother’s Mercy and she agrees.

While sitting on a stool butt nekkid, Cersei gets her hair chopped off by the Scientology nuns. She’s rocking a hacked short cut as they take her to the King’s Landing square and strip her naked. She has to walk to the palace, surrounded by Sparrows but amidst regular people. Off she goes, and the ladle lady is behind her saying “shame” as she rings a bell.

When she starts walking, Cersei is clean and naked. She’s clearly vulnerable but she holds her head up. The crowd starts off kinda meek but with every step she takes, the insults get harsher, and people are even trying to physically hurt her. The people of King’s Landing throw food and random liquids at her. People spit in her face and the walk of shame is as pitiful as it can be. Never did I think I’d feel bad for Cersei Lannister but I could not help it.

Her feet were bleeding and she was covered with all sorts of things. That was some next level type humiliation that would make you feel bad for even your worst enemy.

Cersei’s knees buckle as she sees the gate of the palace and limps her way in, naked and beaten down. As she wobbles in, Qyburn covers her with a blanket. And SURPRISE! She has a new goon at her disposal: a red-eyed, armored up big dude who picks her up to take her to be cleaned. This is the Mountain, Frankensteined up and clearly sub-human. Apparently, he shall not rest until all her enemies pay.

Cersei picked up 1 Cersei Picked up 2

ALL them Scientologists are about to get it!

Castle Black  

Jon and Sam are drinking to the fact that can’t nobody stand none of their asses up at that Wall. Being a friend of the Wildlings does not make you popular at all. BUT on a good note, Sam lost his virginity and it pleases Jon. “At least the end of the world is being good to someone.” Tamwell asks his friend for a favor. He wants to be sent to Old Town, where the Citadel (world’s largest library) is to become a Maester. He is not a fighter and he and his new family (Gilly and Baby Sam) will die on that Wall. Jon doesn’t want him to go because: bromance but he knows his friend is more useful as a reader than a swordsman so he bids him adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Sam leaves but who shows up? Melisandre, looking downtrodden and dejected. She made Stannis kill his daughter for some false promise and what happened? FAIL. Ser Davos sees her and asks about Princess Shireen and she doesn’t even look at him. Sorry, dawg. She dead.

That night, Jon is in his office looking SKRESSED when Olly comes in and says one of the Wildlings said he knows the whereabouts of his uncle Benjen. He rushes out his office and is circled by the Men of the Night’s Watch. There’s a wooden cross on the wall that says “TRAITOR” and Jon realizes he has been bamboozled. Ser Alliser Thorne the complete hater kicks it off with a stab to Jon’s stomach, saying “For the Watch.” Then another man, and another. Finally, Jon is on his knees in pain when Olly comes up. The Bastard of Winterfell looks into his Steward’s eyes and says “Olly…” and the boy puts the final stab in. Jon Snow, the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, falls on his back with his eyes wide open as blood blackens the white snow.

Jon Snow Dead


And my heart breaks into tiny little pieces and life lost meaning and here I am, one day later still mourning because they just killed bae. Fuck everything. Seriously.

I know the end of the last book written by George RR Martin played this scene out too so to book readers, this was a longtime coming. To the rest of us, we are in complete shock. People are theorizing that Jon will be resurrected by the Red Woman, who happened to show up to the Wall on that day. And we’ve seen from season 3 that people can be resurrected from the dead. However, will she bring Jon back? I am surely hoping the hell so but it’s not looking good especially since Kit Karrington has given a couple of interviews where he is adamant that his character is gone, not to be resurrected or none of that. The show’s producers have also been pretty strong about it. For some reason, I believe it because Game of Thrones is not known for unbreaking our hearts. It just isn’t.

George RR Martin and D&D of the TV show have made it clearer than clear that the books and the show are 2 different entities. They have the same endgame but different paths to get there. This is why even though George might bring Jon back in the books, the TV show isn’t guaranteed to do the same.

BUT THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! So much is riding on Jon Snow being the Son of Fire and Ice. He has been the closest thing to a central character in a show that disposes of them like they were never there. We have spent 5 seasons watching him grow and step into his role as a hero just to see him die in the snow.

We’ve theorized R+L=J to death. We’ve thought about him partnering with Tyrion, Dany and the three dragons to save Westeros from the White Walkers. I’ve imagined joyful reunion with his sisters, all for that to end on one snowy night on the Wall. What it the point of him killing a White Walker with his sword? Like… what about R + L = J? What about the dragon with three heads? If Jon is dead, everything people cared about and theorized on is basically moot and irrelevant.

THIS. MAKES. NO. SENSE. I need a shirt that says “Team White Walkers” if he’s really gone because I need them goons to decimate Westeros. Because NOTHING MATTERS. Ugh.

Life pointless

Where was his direwolf, Ghost? Doesn’t he sense when his boy is in danger? How did he drop that ball so tough?? Ugh. Lemme talk about other things, doe.

Soooo Arya is now blind for real? Like… she really lost her eyesight for killing Ser Meryn and breaking the rules of the House of Black and White? Well shit. Those Starks cannot ever catch a break.

Shoutout to Theon for finally getting out his caged mind to save Sansa. Running away with her really ties them together now but that jump from the top of the castle seemed really far. I hope they made it without injury but the way this show is set up… they probably both died or are paralyzed. Because we can never have nice things ever.

I need Jamie to turn that damb boat around and go right back to Dorne to snitch on Ellaria for killing is Daughter-Niece. Ellaria gotta die, man. For real. This vengeance thing isn’t even fair because Oberyn VOLUNTEERED himself as tribute and then pranced around before finishing the job. They didn’t kill him randomly. She’s so petty, man.

But yeah… Jon Snow gone. Bae is dead. I had to make him a fitting fune program.

Jon-Snow-Obituary Gone

Dambit. WHYYYYYY???

Ok, now discuss.

Previous post

About Rachel Dolezal the Undercover Sista and Performing Blackness

Next post

About Charleston, Forgiveness and Black Pain

61 Comments

  1. Auntie Dee Dee
    June 16, 2015 at 10:13 am — Reply

    LOL, amazing recap, if a little off in spots. Love it, Luvvie!

    • Wendy
      June 20, 2015 at 8:55 pm — Reply

      I’m dead. I was sad because bad was dead but you made my day.

  2. Blackberry Molasses
    June 16, 2015 at 10:18 am — Reply

    well, now all my theories are shot to shit. my heart broke. in the books its a cliffhanger, but in the show… u know he DED. i’m almost DONE with the show. like… nawl. i feel like folks did after The Red Wedding. i can’t with the disappointment. i’m #TeamWhiteWalkers too now. fuck westeros. i’m in my feelings.

    and our cutie Kit is unemployed.

    • Dee
      June 16, 2015 at 10:28 am — Reply

      “and our cutie Kit is unemployed”

      I read somewhere he has a contract for season six and maybe 7 so.

      So maybe just on furlough. Gonna miss his hair.

      • Blackberry Molasses
        June 16, 2015 at 10:49 am — Reply

        he’s made it pretty clear in interviews that he’s not coming back. so no… Jon is dead… like DEAD, and Kit is on to other things.
        http://www.ew.com/article/2015/06/14/game-thrones-jon-dies-interview

        just like people thought Michelle Fairley would come back as Lady Stoneheart and she was like “nope. i’m unemployed!”

        so yeah.
        i’m also kind of mad because we get these glorious character development arcs for characters for them to just DIE. its like… there’s no reason to become invested in a character’s story anymore. there’s no catharsis. and its becoming a little predictable because as soon as we get a great moment or a sweet moment for a character, we can assume the show is going to break our hearts.

  3. June 16, 2015 at 10:23 am — Reply

    Thank you so much for the program, and the hilarity that is this recap. My favorite part in a post that had so much laughter was:

    “… they probably both died or are paralyzed. Because we can never have nice things ever.”

    we really can’t have nice things, and Jon was too good for this world, or westeros….

  4. Dee
    June 16, 2015 at 10:27 am — Reply

    I cackled when Sam gave that ‘yeah I hit it’ nod to Jon. Good reason to get yourself a big dude–they can take a few hits and still put in work :p

    I know it’s impossible but I was looking for that boat to do a quick U-ey when Myrcella died. Jamie is going to get vengeance for his daughter-niece.

    Tyrion and Verys—together again! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. The dwarf and the eunuch.

    Cersei is going go crazy. But I bet that super solider smells ripe.

    I knew Jon’s death was coming, but still…hit me hard in the books and just the same on screen.

    I could not stand Myranda (still calling her “Congratulations”), and was happy to see her fall. Reek better take care of Sansa..

  5. Angela
    June 16, 2015 at 10:31 am — Reply

    I don’t think Jon Snow is “entirely” dead 🙂

    • whilome
      June 16, 2015 at 4:13 pm — Reply

      Well, Jon “Snow” may be dead. But what about Jon Stark or Jon Targaryen? Hmm….

  6. Ebony Majesty
    June 16, 2015 at 10:39 am — Reply

    Thanks for the recap Luvvie!

    Now that both the book readers and show watchers are all at the same place in the story, I can FINALLY read some of the theories about whats going to happen to Jon. Boook readers have had like 6 years to formulate opinions on this, and they seem to have very good theories!

    Jon was everyone’s bae so I think thats why I canNOT believe he’s gone for good. My theory is that the character is “dead”, but he’ll live on to become another “person” (“Kill the boy, and let the Man be born”). Lots of the book readers think he’ll be the next Azor Ahai *crosses fingers*

  7. justme
    June 16, 2015 at 10:43 am — Reply

    I could buy Jon’s death if the show hadn’t made Castle Black one of its major places. If Jon is gone, who are they going to show there? Alliser Thorne, the hater extraordinaire? Olly’s punk ass? We don’t care about them.
    I’m sorry but Kit and the show runners are lying to keep some suspense for next season : Jon will be alive. That ginger hooker witch better start working on her resurrecting technique.

    Stannis isn’t dead either. Considering the way Brienne’s brain doesn’t work, I bet she missed his head and he took that opportunity to talk her out of it.

    Sansa and Theon jumped with so much confidence that I think they saw a carriage with straw which would cushion their fall or something lol.

    Arya’s storyline manages to interest and bore me at the same time.
    Kudos for going full Mortal Kombat on that pedophile but I don’t care about her blindness. Jaqen and his posse are criminals, not her friends. Using them for her personnal vendetta was never going to end well for her.

    I will side with Cersei over religious fanatics any day. I can’t wait for her wrath.

    Yay for Tyrion and Varys ruling together. They are my faves. I can’t wait for their convos filled with wit, shade and smug smirks.

    • justme
      June 16, 2015 at 10:55 am — Reply

      *straw, hay, you know what I mean.

    • saro
      June 17, 2015 at 12:33 am — Reply

      Ginger hooker witch – I love the comments here so much.

      If Brienne doesn’t kill Stannis, I am going to reach in that show and kill him myself. He killed his little girl!

    • PhredG
      May 11, 2016 at 8:20 pm — Reply

      It may be hard to tell from waaaaaay up there but I’m guessin’ they fall into about 20 ft. of snow (JON snow; I couldn’t heppit).

  8. AK
    June 16, 2015 at 10:46 am — Reply

    “It’s so cold in GoT. How the eph is we s’posed to keep peace?…”

    • Drea823
      June 16, 2015 at 10:55 am — Reply

      I. Am. Crying!!! Lollllll!

    • Thato01
      June 17, 2015 at 5:36 am — Reply

      This is the funniest, most important GoT comment I’ve ever seen. AK, I thank you.

  9. Corrin
    June 16, 2015 at 10:50 am — Reply

    This episode had me all up in my feelings. I’m in denial about Jon’s death because of his whole bloodline theory. I hope Sansa survives, Ariya clearly wasn’t about that ‘no one’ life and where the hell are Bran, Hodar and the littlest Stark boy (too distraught to recall his name)? They’ve been MIA all season. All I know is I can’t wait for next season or the drop of the next book The Winds of Winter (whichever comes first). This was the cliffhanger of life and I’m as thirsty as one of Rachel Dolezal’s wigs for more GOT.

    • Leslie
      June 16, 2015 at 11:36 am — Reply

      Dead! Not as dry as Rachel’s wig. You my dear win.

  10. Drea823
    June 16, 2015 at 10:50 am — Reply

    Man listen…..I’m still in my feelings about Jon-bae getting killed. I literally keep saying, no fucking way?! My levels of pissedoffness are off the charts!

    Bow down to Arya, the goon! She took those hits like a G and sliced and diced his ass, quite proper.

    Cersei ’bout to set it off and ain’t taking no prisoners. Why couldnt they kill her off instead of Jon-bae?! Ughhh! Smh!

    Sansa and Theon better run like Forrest Gump, and figure out a way to kill Ramsay cause he will take pleasure in hunting them down and doing the unthinkable.

    Elllaria killing Jamie’s puppy brother, daughter-niece really irritated me but I knew when she kissed that girl on the mouth she was up to something.

    Sigh….this damb show!

    Oh and that tweet where dude said he was going to the HBO offices and walk behind people, clanging a bell saying Shame! Had me in never ending tears lmaooo!

    LuvvNation what is we gon’ do until GoT returns?!!

    • ella
      June 16, 2015 at 1:33 pm — Reply

      PUPPY BROTHER..

    • MonMon
      June 16, 2015 at 1:54 pm — Reply

      I think I’m going to re-read the books. That way I still have some hope!

  11. June 16, 2015 at 10:56 am — Reply

    Best recap ever. I think you really captured how so many of us feel about losing bae. I mean, what’s the point anymore?! WHAT. IS. THE. DAMN. POINT?! I will miss his curls. I will miss Jon Snow.

  12. June 16, 2015 at 11:10 am — Reply

    LOVED the recap. I’m still trying to muster my thoughts on this one. I’m MAD! Still mad 48 hours later. I’m in denial.

    And yes, I am one of the ones holding on that a miracle happens to Bae. I mean come on… I know GOT is known to do whatever the fuck they want to do… but STILL! They had to kill Snow.

    I guess he “really knew nothing.” UGH!

    • Wendy
      June 20, 2015 at 9:06 pm — Reply

      Its been a week and I’m still in my feelings. In my Florida Evans voice. Damn. Damn. Damn…..

  13. Dee
    June 16, 2015 at 11:20 am — Reply

    Someone needs to do a a Hall of FAces gif with the Rachel woman.

    • Michelle
      June 16, 2015 at 12:58 pm — Reply

      I would love to see that as well, that would be EPIC!

  14. Jasmine
    June 16, 2015 at 11:29 am — Reply

    I don’t know WHY I started watching this show! EVERYONE is going to die, that’s all I took from this last shOw.Jon wasn’t even a fave of mine, but I wailed when he died. Jon Snow is dead?! WHY LAWD?! It took me a full day to get over it. I was calling folks who don’t even watch the show for support in my grief.

    All we have left now of the Starks is Sansa, Arya and their little bro. I guess I’m still sentimental about this family from Season 1 because Jon dying was heartbreaking.

  15. reallynow
    June 16, 2015 at 11:45 am — Reply

    I fell off of my couch, and curled up in the fetal position! WHY!!!!!! With Jon gone, eph it all. Let’s go scary blue eyed zombies – run all up and through all of Westeros! I’m DONE.

    Great recap and fune program. I’m still so hurt!

    *Cersei is about to drop a bomb on the High Sparrow and his followers and I can’t wait!

  16. TC
    June 16, 2015 at 11:47 am — Reply

    Girl, put your handle all over your stuff so that it never gets taken and displayed without proper “Shout out” again! That’s how you do it!!

  17. MajorityFools
    June 16, 2015 at 11:58 am — Reply

    Luvvie, can you enable gifs on your comments section because that’s the only medium I know how to express my reaction to Game of Thrones.

    Rob was Bae and now Bae Little “Bastard” Brother Jon gone? BY HO ASS ACTS OF BETRAYL?! George R.R. Martin ain’t even let them die valiantly in battle!!!!

    Was there some kid named like Peter Stark or something that bullied George R. R. Martin so he created an entire family of Starks in his books to torture and kill them? Someone find out!

    Oh gosh, I’m still so hurt. Unbreak my heart! How will my heart go on?! Don’t Speak! Dammit!

  18. Maya's Mama
    June 16, 2015 at 12:03 pm — Reply

    I don’t believe that Stannis or Jon are dead. We’ve been watching heads get cut off for five seasons. Why not show his death? I would say something in regards to the books, but I hate when people do it to me with other shows/movies. I think Jon will be MIA for season six though, like Bran was. If so, it’s going to be one long, boring season. I’m Team Cersei (yes, dammit, I said it), so I’ll look forward to her running them Scientologists up out of the kingdom, but then what?

    Also, if they have Jorah the soon-to-be Stoneman and what’s his name (the other boo was cuter) find that ring in the middle of all that green, I’m going to scream.

  19. Lisa
    June 16, 2015 at 12:14 pm — Reply

    He’s coming back. Of course Kit is going to say in the interviews that he is not coming back- they can’t spoil the seasons before they start.

  20. Nef05
    June 16, 2015 at 12:27 pm — Reply

    Love your recaps! I waited and watched 8, 9 and finale all together last night. Jon-bae is not dead forever and ever, amen. He’s not! I’m in denial and I REFUSE to believe it. You know why? You already said it. GoT is known for breaking our hearts and killing off those we’re invested in and have followed the arc. It has become predictable. It’s time for a twist. Time for them to change that predictability, or there’s no reason for life OR character investment.

    Sansa and Reek jumped into a moat. There may be some ice issues explaining why we didn’t see water, but trust and believe Winterfell has a moat. It’s a fortified castle. A moat is as basic a defense as a stone wall around the keep. No self-respecting castle would be without one.

    I’m conflicted about Arya. I love her character, but her storylines bore me. Possibly because there’s only so much you can do with a tween girl, and they do do the most.

    Is Dany starting to realise she has deeper feelings for Jorah? All those conflicted looks when he was about to get killed, the look they exchanged before she took his hand, the emotional devastation of his betrayal, rather than just the rage of having been duped by a close advisor. Seems like everyone around her can sense it, by the looks they were giving her, every time she had to deal with him. All the outs they were trying to give her to save face for what she really wanted to do (or so it seemed to me).

    Yes, Jamie needs to go back to Dorne and see that heffa dead. I knew the lipstick was poison as soon as she kissed her on the lips. A kiss on the cheek would have been sufficient for a peace gesture. The only reason for a kiss on the lips was to make it stand out.

    I’m just waiting for Cersei to kill e’er one of those fanatics. I just never understood how she didn’t see that coming! You never give fanatics power. Never, never, never! Because Robespierre and Cromwell.

    Speaking of historical analogies – did anyone else feel the assassination of Jon-bae mirrored the assassination of Caesar by the Roman Senate? The whole drawing him to the side by Olly (just as Brutus did), each person of the group stabbing once while saying “for the watch”, the look Jon-bae gave Olly (Et tu, Brute?) just before Olly gave him the final blow? If you’ve ever sat through Elizabeth Taylor’s “Cleopatra” it was basically the same scene, except the settings. Maybe it was just me, but I had to check the calendar to see if it was the Ides of March when I saw how it all went down. And, yeah – where was Ghost??? He was all right there, fangs gleaming, when Sam needed him, but nowhere to be found when Jon-bae is being assassinated by some short-sighted, ego driven, hateful bastids? At least at the red wedding, you knew the wolves had been locked up. This made no sense. Then again, neither did killing Jon-bae for all the reasons Luvvie said and more…

    • chicanica82
      June 16, 2015 at 4:13 pm — Reply

      Same thing im thinking Stephanie! I’m willing to bet this is why the Lady Stoneheart storyline has been cut off this season. She was resuscitated by the same people God Melissandre worships. Who’s to say she wasn’t just playing her part in the game of thrones (like Littlefinger) and was misleading Stannis all this time just to give Jon a chance. The Targerians are born of blood and fire and Jon has blood under his belt already (moms died giving birth maybe). All he needs now is fire and its too much of a coincidence this fire witch comes strolling back to castle black and that his men know to burn dead bodies. She could have gone elsewhere if she didn’t have a purpose there.

      I shallll nooottt give up hope dammit!!!

  21. MonMon
    June 16, 2015 at 12:42 pm — Reply

    I don’t think Jon is dead for real. He SAYS he’s not coming back but I’m hoping he said that just because. He CANNOT be FO REAL dead!!! Nooooooo! I believe that he will warg into Ghost and that the deaths of Shireen, Selyse, and possibly Stannis (we didn’t SEE Brienne kill him so maybe she just struck the tree and went after her REAL mission which was to save Sansa) gave Melissandre enough energy/power to bring Jon back. Come on….HBO knows that EVERY WOMAN and I’m sure a lot of the men won’t keep watching if that lovely Jon Snow is gone 🙂 That’s my theory!

  22. Nik
    June 16, 2015 at 12:54 pm — Reply

    I knew some foolishness was about to happen because at the beginning of the season, the dude that plays Poddrick said that the finale will break the Internet.

    Jon ain’t dead. I’m willing to bet all my (Monopoly) money that he isn’t. It just doesn’t make sense from a writing standpoint. It would make no sense to develop all that juicy backstory just to make it go to waste. Besides, Mellisande won’t let that happen. Not after all the work she’s put in.

    I know Kit and the writers/director/producers have been making the rounds, but don’t trust them. They take pleasure in our pain. Remember GRRM laughing at our pain from the Red Wedding? And something that Kit said in one of the interviews has me suspicious. He said that they (the writers) gave him the Tony Soprano talk to prepare him for his departure. Uh, we don’t know if Tony Soprano actually did die at the end. It faded to black, remember? That’s a clue! And he said that he’s sad that Jon died before he found out who his mom was. The conspiracy theorist in me sees that as a clue that things aren’t quite over yet.

    Basically, they’re playing games with our emotions.

    Basically, Imma need Jon not to be dead.

    Basically, I’m making Puss in Boots eyes at the producers right now.

    Basically, I will be back next April like a well trained puppy to see what happens next.

  23. Stephanie
    June 16, 2015 at 12:57 pm — Reply

    This episode had me all in my feelings! A couple things;

    I think Jon Snow is dead (Kill the Boy), but Jon Targaryen (Let the Man be Born) though?! Oh he’s coming to clap back. How? Well, in the very last scene while Jon lay dying, I don’t know if I was the only one who noticed this, but Jon’s eyes turned blue. Not ‘white walker/Wight’ neon blue, but an indigo blue. The Targaryen family are know for their indigo-blue eyes and white hair. S’all I’m sayin!

    He may not be in season 6 but I think he’ll make a reappearance in season 7.

    Also, why has The Red Woman (can’t remember her name) suddenly and randomly turned up at the Wall? The same woman who is known for bringing people back from the dead. At the wall, they have to burn bodies so they don’t turn into wights. Maybe in the next episode, they try and burn Jon and in that moment, the Red Woman will do some sorta blood juju and we’ll see Jon reborn as a Targaryen from the flames? It worked for Daenerys….

    • dawn
      June 16, 2015 at 3:06 pm — Reply

      oooooooohhhhhhhhhh! this is the best theory I’ve heard so far! I love it, I love it, I love it! LOVE IT I say!
      I missed his eyes changing colour (I was probably too distraught) so I’ma watch the eli over and see if I peep that.

    • muppet
      June 16, 2015 at 7:03 pm — Reply

      When I first saw the episode, I thought the same thing. And then I re-watched it to make sure, and sadly I think the first time was just my brain trying to hold on to any clue that Jon might be resurrected. Upon 2nd (and 3rd) viewing the slight change in colour is down to the change in lighting (and slightly poor editing) as they zoom in on his beautiful face.

      The red-headed wildling was right. Jon Snow knew nothing and assumed he was a bit untouchable. He should have known he’d actually be better of sleeping in the Wildling camp rather than back with his hateful fellow watchmen.

      All that said, I’m still in denial and hope he’s just sitting the next season out and they’ll bring him back for S7. But for now this is like Mitchell all over again for any UK Being Human fans out there. *kicks rocks*

    • Serenity
      June 16, 2015 at 8:14 pm — Reply

      The knights cremate their dead. Isn’t that exactly how Dany came into her power. Through fire…..

      • saro
        June 17, 2015 at 12:36 am — Reply

        Ooooooh, now I have hope! He can jump out of that fire and yell, “You thought you had me, didn’t ya!!”

    • Nef05
      June 17, 2015 at 10:55 am — Reply

      Ooooh, you know when they left him laying there with his eyes open, I was looking for blue, since they had us prepped with the wildling rising after the battle. But, I was looking for the white-walker white/blue, not indigo. Imma have to check this out!

      I like your theories. I like ’em ALOT!!!

  24. ella
    June 16, 2015 at 1:37 pm — Reply

    I read the books and was still curled up in a ball with JonBooBae died. They didn’t have to to do him like that! They did NOT!! Olly is a summabitch and I wish the Thenns had eaten his face like his mother.
    I’m holding out hope that the R+L=J theory pans out because then we MAY have hope for Jon. They are burning people to stop them from becoming white walkers; Dany emerged from the fire with her dragons after she tried to set herself on fire in Khal Drogo’s funeral pyre. I shall keep hope alive till season 6; if he really is dead though, may the White Walkers kill them all.
    ……and now his watch has ended… that reminds me.. they didn’t even say any words for boobaeJon. Now I’m mad again.

  25. Abbie
    June 16, 2015 at 2:37 pm — Reply

    “I need Jamie to turn that damb boat around and go right back to Dorne to snitch on Ellaria for killing is Daughter-Niece. Ellaria gotta die, man. For real. This vengeance thing isn’t even fair because Oberyn VOLUNTEERED himself as tribute and then pranced around before finishing the job. They didn’t kill him randomly. She’s so petty, man.”

    THIS!!! I’ve been saying this all along about her dumbass vendetta. Even Oberyn must be giving her major eyeroll from beyond the grave, like “Babe, you gotta let this one GO! Have some friggin’ DIGNITY, for God’s sake!”

  26. June 16, 2015 at 2:52 pm — Reply

    Don’t give up hope Luvvie!!! even though they’ve all given interviews saying that Jon Snow is dead, notice that they specifically say he isn’t coming back “next season”. Since we still have two confirmed seasons left, I am going to hope that we will see him in the final season. Dead is not always dead in Westeros. My husband ain’t dead. 🙂 #keephopealive

  27. Moni
    June 16, 2015 at 3:24 pm — Reply

    Jon will be back and Kit Harrington nor HBO can say “oh he’ll be back” because that virtually verifies that Jon Snow is Azor Ahai and the hero of this whole story. They’re gonna lie about that until the very end.

  28. Kaamilya
    June 16, 2015 at 4:19 pm — Reply

    There’s really nothing more to say.
    You summed it all up here.
    Depression is life.
    Bye.

  29. Jluvlee
    June 16, 2015 at 4:34 pm — Reply

    I think this is the first time I cried when someone died on the show. I had that single thug tear roll down my cheek… Luvvie I seriously thought about you as soon as the show was over, like “How is she gonna be able to write a recap?” cuz I was about to get under the covers, get into the fetal position and do the ugly cry for the rest of the evening. The recap was great and yeah, errthang you said! I need to quit this show. Starks can’t catch a break. Bran better be on his full on warg next season and make some headway. Him and Rickorn are the only man blood left… Come on GRR!

  30. Terri
    June 16, 2015 at 4:37 pm — Reply

    I think yes Jon Snow is dead but that leaves for Jon Stark-Targygen to be reborn. If they burn him recall what happened with Dany because she dragon blood. Also he is now released from his oath to the Watch. I think he will be back!

  31. June 16, 2015 at 5:06 pm — Reply

    I’m thinking they are playing with us here – sure ‘Jon Snow’ may not come back but I think he is going to become Azor Ahai.

    Just let me hold onto this hope. Because otherways, I can’t.

  32. Kyra
    June 16, 2015 at 5:42 pm — Reply

    I want that “Team White Walkers” shirt.

  33. saro
    June 17, 2015 at 12:31 am — Reply

    #TeamWhiteWalker #4lyfe

    Ugh. The only good thing about Jon’s death was your funeral program.

  34. June 17, 2015 at 8:34 am — Reply

    I just love your recaps. Your humor makes me feel better about that depressing episode!

  35. Tasha
    June 17, 2015 at 8:53 am — Reply

    Girl I don’t even like GofT. I’m forced to watch it cause my boyfriend is a fan and he likes for me to sit and watch it with him. But the one thing I do know and appreciate is John fine-ass Snow! This mess they pulled the other night was some bs to the highest degree! I’m over it, they did the most. I told my boyfriend I’m done he needs someone to watch with he’s gonna have to phone a friend. Martin won’t be toying with my emotions uh uh.

  36. June 18, 2015 at 7:36 am — Reply

    “Winter Came. Jon Left”…. I Followed! LMAO

  37. Nef05
    June 19, 2015 at 4:21 pm — Reply

    Here’s a Time magazine list of all the GoT deaths with the percentages of their likelihood of return. They give Jon-bae a 75% chance of return.

    http://time.com/3924852/every-game-of-thrones-death/

    • Nef05
      June 19, 2015 at 4:43 pm — Reply

      Here’s also a Time article on the various ways Jon-bae could have eluded a true death. It does mention a couple points that happened in the books, but does NOT contain any spoilers for future storylines.

      http://time.com/3921103/game-of-thrones-jon-snow/

  38. solarenergy
    June 23, 2015 at 4:13 pm — Reply

    Great recap, lol to the reactions. Of course he’s coming back.

    Here’s a great bit of relevant foreshadowing that I noticed while re-watching Season 1, Episode 2 (King’s Road). You may recall that Arya and Joffrey get into a bit of a scrap and her direwolve bites him on the arm.

    Later Cercei keeps bugging King Robert to punish Arya, somehow, and exasperated, Robert growls at her:

    “What do you want me to do to her, woman? Beat her through the streets?”

    Ha!

  39. Kate
    June 25, 2015 at 4:45 pm — Reply

    It’s going to be JUST FINE. Because if I have read like 2000 pages about him and his parents all for nada I’m going to burn GRRMs publishers to the ground. (metaphorically). Love love your recaps.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *